Thursday, December 30, 2004

A Dew On A Blade Of Grass

I'm still trying to take in the events that have happened in the past week in Asia. The Tsunami death toll of 116,000 is staggering and is still climbing. That's not counting the people who died or will die of the disease that breaks out because of the unsanitary conditions in the affected areas. I can only think of it as a modern-day "Black Death". Also called the Bubonic plague, its death toll was estimated to be over 23 million. It killed an average of 6,300 people per day as it swept from Asia into Europe in a span of a decade. The difference is, all this happened in a few hours.

I feel helpless as I watch the people in their heartbreak and loss. Their lives have been changed drastically in a moment, its effects remaining with them for a very long time. We, however, could go back to living the moment we switch off the television or step away from the computer.

It, along with my father's second death anniversary today, makes me think of my own mortality and of those whom I love. I read a quote about how life is like a morning dew perched on the tip of a blade of grass. It either falls off or dissipates in the heat of the morning sun. Indeed, life is short. We never know when our tsunami will come. And when it does, how much imprint did we leave in the hearts of the people we have encountered? How many of the things we did actually made a difference in our lives and of those around us? How many of the things we considered important really are, in the light of God and eternity?

Have a safe and happy New Year, everyone! This coming year, be kinder, hug tighter, love stronger and pray harder. Those are deeds we will never regret doing.

Wednesday, December 22, 2004

Bah Humbug?

The day after Thanksgiving, I usually have my Christmas shopping done and all my greeting cards mailed out. This year, I seem to have lost my steam. Working during the day and going to rehearsals at night has taken its toll and we are just too exhausted to do anything. We even decided against getting a tree. Just thinking about the energy we have to expend in putting it up, decorating it and then taking it down and disposing of it after the holiday season was just too much.

A couple of nights ago, late after rehearsals, I decided to decorate a pre-baked Gingerbread House, just to wind down and also get me into the spirit of the holidays. I also bought some scented pine cones to give the place that Christmas scent, in the absence of a real pine tree. It seems to be having some effect on me as gift-wrapping is now halfway, albeit half-heartedly, done. I have half a mind to just give the gifts in their boxes, as is. We're pretty excited to give them as they're pretty good gifts that will stand even without the gay wrapping. Why wrap them so they can be torn away a few hours later? Besides, what's important is the gift and not the wrapping, right? And ultimately it is said that what's more important is the thought.

I would be happy with just that actually. I really do appreciate it, and most of the time wished they remained as they are, at least when it comes to me. I loathe to think that people spend their hard-earned money for something that almost always just gathers dust in cupboards. Let's face it, a lot of us have everything we need and a lot of the gifts that we get are "icing". Since I don't care much for most "icing", I really wish people would put their money to better use, maybe donate it to a charity.

I know I'm sounding like an idealist again but sometimes I look at a particular thing that I see in a cabinet that was given to me, wonder how much it cost and think what that money could have done for a child who needed that amount to be able to purchase his school supplies, or a poor and sick person whose medical needs are not being completely met for lack of funds, or a family who cannot even enjoy a nice, decent meal together. Pushing aside all that stuff, one can also consider how that little amount can grow if you put it in a child's college savings account.

I just think that we have all fallen victim to the ploy that retailers have made the Holidays to be, one big commercial event designed to suck out everything that's in our wallets! How many families actually make it a ritual or tradition to sit down and commemorate the story behind the celebration of Christmas or the events that led to Hannukah? How many actually bow their heads together in gratitude for all the blessings that we have? How many of us make sure that we share with the less fortunate before we start celebrating?

I know I need to do more. And that's something I need to ponder as I try to finish my gift-wrapping.

Monday, December 13, 2004

Nice Earrings!

"Nice earrings!" exclaimed one guy as we were both getting off the train. I said "Thanks," and walked away trying my very best to hide my puzzled expression. No, my earrings weren't big at all. In fact, they were just your usual-sized diamond studs that a lot of women wear here. Either the 3 C's (cut, clarity & color) of my earrings really impressed him (right...) , or it was one of the funniest pick-up line I have ever heard. I guess I should be glad he didn't say "Nice blouse!" It comforts me that he was looking above my neckline - not that there's much to look at anyway. I called hubby at work after, to ask him what that was all about. He started chuckling and told me that he had overheard the guy telling me that as I left the train.

One time after work, I was walking out of my office building. This guy falls in step beside me and says, "Hi, Neighbor!" My first thought was this was certainly not Mr. Rogers as this was not his neighborhood. I turned to see this unfamiliar face. I smiled politely and asked, "Oh, we live near each other?" And he said, "No, I work in the building next to yours!" and gave me this huge smile. I almost burst out laughing but kept a cordial demeanor, found a way to excuse myself from the conversation and fall behind as we walked to the subway stop.

Another was, "¿Habla Español?" I said no. Still, I was subjected to a mostly one-sided conversation, in English, until I reached the subway stop. ¡Que Barbaridad!

If those pick-up lines were anything to go by, I am glad I am not a single person living in Boston. For a university town, you kind of expect people to have better lines than that!

Thursday, December 09, 2004

A Real Trouper

Hubby's been such an extremely good sport. Before I joined this show I'm doing, I asked him if he would be willing to come with me to rehearsals so I would not have to travel alone. He readily agreed and said that it would be a great experience for me. He has made good on his word and accompanies me to every single rehearsal. He seems to be enjoying the process of the entire thing and seeing the show slowly take shape. I know that he is really tired sometimes after work, but he gamely goes with me still. He has not complained one bit considering our rehearsals are four times a week. He says he's quite happy acting as my personal assistant, i.e. carrying my bag and accompanying me home, and takes pleasure in seeing me do what I love. What a sweetheart he is! And no, he's by no means a stage husband as he never interferes or makes demands. It's such a blessing to have someone who is secure with himself and not feel 'upstaged' at all by anything I do. I have seen relationships suffer and break because the partner is insecure and does not understand an artist's life or is threatened by it. Those of you who know me personally know exactly what I mean!

;)

Hubby accepts and loves me for who I am, morning look or not. He delights in my silly and weird ways, and takes pride in that. I know he'll be quite embarrassed when he reads this. But this is one small way I can show him that I am thankful I have him in my life.

:)

Thursday, December 02, 2004

Oh, To Scratch An Itch!

Last night, I had a blast! It had been so long since I last sat down in a room full of talented singers as we figured out the melodies and treatment for the musical we are doing. Maybe few will understand it, but to someone like me, sitting there and hearing all these beautiful voices piping in on their cue, with the music director pounding on the piano keys is sheer pleasure. Some may not realize how much work goes into staging a musical. Months of working out the music, the harmony, the choreography and the nuances that go with the role you play as actors spend time together and play off each other. The journey to the finished product is long and difficult, but the experience and memories gained are inestimable.

You know how when you finally scratch an itch that's been bugging you? I have felt that itch for a long time but done other things to dull it. Last night, after five long years, I have finally started to scratch it. At least that's how it felt for me.

:)

Tuesday, November 23, 2004

Boiling Over

It finally won. The mild cold that I've been fighting for a couple of weeks has overcome my system and I officially have a very bad cold. The worse thing is, everytime I get a bad cold, it's like my system goes on overdrive and goes wild churning out histamines to fight off anything that it thinks might be an enemy. Thus, I get the double-whammy, cold and allergy. That, plus hormones that are going crazy and you get one tangled mess of female nerves.

Today at work, it boiled over and I found myself sobbing over something I would normally shrug off. I surprised even myself at how weepy I was over something that I usually shake off like water off a duck's back. I made a conscious effort to pull myself together. I called Hubby to help me do just that and he had me chuckling with him after a few minutes.

I used to think that PMS was a very convenient way for women to act like brats and bi-atches. I do not suffer from extreme moodswings too often. I consider myself fortunate. I'm sure hubby feels the same way too!

Thursday, November 18, 2004

Getting My Feet Wet

A local theatre group was auditioning for their next musical slated for February. So I decided to swallow all the fear and apprehension I have had, snap out of my lazy stupor and 'get my feet wet' in the New England theatre scene. I could not make the regular audition as I was on a trip to Florida so I inquired about doing a late audition. They asked me to send in my photo and resumé and I was informed that if they failed to cast the roles during the first set of auditions, they would give me a call. On my last day in Florida, I got a call from the show's Director and she invited me to audition the following Tuesday.

Tuesday came and I was wired. I was also a bit feverish and it was probably due to the cold I had been fighting. Either that or, it was my fear manifesting itself. It's been years since I set foot in a theatre to do a vocal and dance audition. I didn't know if I still had it in me. I decided to toss all those feelings heavenward and just go. I am always in the opinion that things will always turn out as they should when you leave it in God's hands. What matters is I do my best with what I had been given at that moment.

Hubby and I arrived at the place and found it to be a charming little 200-seat playhouse that resembled a small lodge. It was very cozy and intimate and we immediately felt comfortable. I filled out a form and did the vocal auditions not long after. I was asked to sing my two audition songs and a song from the show itself. I could see by the look on Hubby's face that I was doing well despite my cold and lack of practice. We were then asked to move to the theatre proper to do the dance audition. The butterflies in my stomach started dancing long before I did and I tried to work them off by doing warm-ups. My muscles were as stiff as a starched dress shirt. Not only did I think that I was rusty in this area, I thought my jazz skills were pretty corroded. Having to memorize eight 8's of a dance routine in a snap is something I haven't done in a long while. Thank God that the Dance Captain was so nice and patient. By some miracle, I managed to pull it off. Again, the huge smile Hubby was giving me told me that it went well. M has never seen me do a dance audition and he admitted to being pleasantly surprised at what he saw. He's never seen me dance except in a goofy way or when I'm aping someone who can't dance. Yes, we've hit the dance floor in some parties, but that really can't be used as an indication at all.

Before we left the theatre, I was formally invited to join the cast. I was thrilled! M and I discussed it overnight and I accepted the next day. 'Getting my feet wet' during winter might not be the best idea but I have put this off long enough. It's definitely going to be a gruelling four months but very well worth the experience, I'm sure. I just pray for a mild winter season!

Sunday, November 14, 2004

The Long Weekend in Orlando

Hubby and I just spent a long, warm, and fun weekend in Orlando. We thankfully left as the temperatures in Boston dropped to freezing. As usual with all our travels, our schedule was so crazy, it was tighter than Joan River's face. We went from seeing family, to getting ready for my cousin Jessica's wedding rehearsal, to the wedding itself, to trying to squeeze in some time to spend the day in the Disney parks to see the newer attractions, and to see M's niece play the role of Jasmine in the show, 'Fantasmic!'

I flew to Orlando a day ahead of M because I needed to rehearse with the pianist the songs I was going to sing in the ceremony. In the plane, I happened to sit in a row with an old snoot of a lady who refused to even acknowledge my presence. I usually get a smile or a nod from the person with whom I share a row, especially if we're both travelling alone. She was sitting by the window and I was by the aisle while the middle seat remained empty. When the flight attendant came to get our used cups, I offered to reach for her cup in order to give it to the flight attendant. She ignored me completely and raised her hand higher to avoid my hand. Later during the flight, I sneezed once and covered my face completely when I did. She quickly covered her nose and mouth, and a few seconds later, reached inside her bag and took out a surgical mask and wore it for the rest of the flight! She even bumped me out of the way with no apologies while I was reaching for my bag in the overhead compartment. I chalked it up to her probably having a bad day but on our way out of the plane, she chirped pleasantries to the flight crew. I guess it was me she did not like. Despite my 'Boston' look of blouse, short wool skirt, tights and knee high boots, she probably saw me as the short-lived stereotype of a diseased, SARS-infested Asian. It was all quite amusing. I was so tempted to fake a sneeze again while we were waiting in the aisle for everyone to disembark just to see her squirm. However, I decided I didn't want to waste my energy even for the pleasure of being mean to someone who is totally rude.

The wedding was beautiful. The only snafu for me was that the pianist played a higher key of 'Ave Maria' than we had rehearsed, and I was already singing a high Celine Dion version. I was caught a bit off-guard and didn't do as well as I hoped. I was thankful that the great acoustics in the St. James Cathedral and the pipe organ mostly hid the strain that I knew my vocal chords were experiencing. The second song 'Grow Old With Me' went much better. The reception afterwards was as well-planned as the ceremony and was a lot of fun. I have been to countless weddings as I have been invited either as a guest or to sing. They ranged from the nice and simple ones to the most lavish. I would rank this one high on my list of favorites. It was well-thought out, simple and classy, quite lavish yet not excessive or gaudy. The family went all-out and spared no expense. The food was nothing short of the best, the filet mignon was cooked, or should I say, undercooked to perfection and the champagne and wine flowed freely. Their only daughter was getting married and she deserved no less, not because she was one of those spoiled brats, but simply because she is this genuinely nice, warm, very wise and pleasant human being, and she was marrying this equally nice boy who was her high school sweetheart and passed all the criteria of my Aunt and Uncle, that is, Filipino, of good family, Catholic and Republican. :) Congratulations Jessica and Joe!

We spent our last day hitting the Disney Parks. We hopped from Animal Kingdom, to Epcot to try Mission Space, and finally to Disney-MGM Studios to watch 'Fantasmic!'. I waxed nostalgic and remembered my days as one of the Mouse's workerbees in the International Exchange Program. I've been to many theme parks and there is no other park that really does it the way Disney does - the cleanliness, the guest service and the way they make everyone's experience as fun and memorable as possible. Just spending the day there made me want to move back to Florida and work for the Mouse again.

Saturday, November 06, 2004

Lazy Saturday

Blog-Hopping
Today was pretty much another lazy day. After hubby brought my usual Saturday breakfast-in-bed, I went online and just started blog hopping, while hubby read his PC World beside me on his computer. While he perused geek stuff, I played voyeur, looking through a keyhole into other people's lives.

How varied and different people's views on the world are! And if you read on, you may find a clue or two on how those views were shaped by the circumstances and influences in their lives. You find blogs that are funny or serious commentaries on current events, story-telling, life journals that can match any soap operas or telenovelas, you will find ones that drip with so much hate and anger that it leaves a sick feeling in your stomach, and ones that obviously cry for help it makes you tear up.

It evoked so many kinds of emotions that it left me a bit tired by midday. And I hadn't even stepped out of my bedroom!

Vocal Stress
I also spent the afternoon bugging my poor neighbors and rehearsing my songs for my cousin's wedding on Friday. I have been honored with the invitation to sing in her wedding ceremony at the St. James Cathedral in Orlando. I have long neglected to do my vocal exercises since I no longer am an active performing artist, and now my vocal chords are exhausted! What's worse is, I have this mild cold that might just turn worse. I used to have extremely sturdy vocal chords. I never needed much warm up before any concert or musical, and still have my voice intact after a couple of hours of performance. I never followed the "no cold drinks" rule and survived unscathed. Now, I can really feel the stress after a couple of hours of rehearsing, and I feel wary enough to shun anything too hot or too cold for fear of damaging my voice before Friday. With some precautions and a lot of prayers, I hope to be able to render my songs without embarrassing myself.

Habichat
Justin from Habitat for Humanity stumbled across my blog about my volunteer experience. A couple of weeks ago, he emailed me to ask if they could reprint my article in their newsletter. It's a 2-4 page publication that is circulated to their offices in the US and worldwide. I was happy to have the privilege to share my thoughts to help a great cause. Yesterday, they printed it and sent me a copy of their newsletter. :)

PINOYexpats
Soon, the next issue of PINOYexpats will go live. We've cooked up something sumptuous so don't forget to visit the site to check it out!

Bon weekend to all!



Wednesday, November 03, 2004

Long Nights

The clock fell back an hour on Sunday. I was quite happy to gain an hour but my body clock is still on old time. This, combined with the ALCS and World Series late nights and now the election, I probably have a sleep debt of two days. I've been needing that caffeine kick the past three mornings just to rev me up. It must also be because the nights are now much longer, and that has a way of affecting our psyche.

I'm sure John Kerry, George Bush and their cronies have had a long night too. The final results have been slow to materialize these past two elections. This is new to the United States since they usually have the results of the election by the end of election day with one candidate conceding and another giving a magnanimous and reconciliatory victory speech. I've always found that amazing. Where I come from, the final election results takes weeks to a month. That's because everything is counted manually after everyone has put in their votes in padlocked ballot boxes, which are only to be opened after voting is officially over and the official count starts.


Crowds gather for what they hoped to be a Kerry Victory Rally in Copley Square on election night. (AP Photo)


Anyway, both the Democrats and the Republicans were ready to hold their victory or concession rallies last night. People here in Boston had gathered in Copley Square on what was to be John Kerry's Victory Rally. Morning came but the results did not. At around mid-day, Kerry called Bush to concede. The trends assured Bush of the win, by both popular and electoral votes.

I'm glad the election is over. I can only take so much mud-slinging, political arguments and lies...

...which they call 'spin' these days. Oh, and liars are now 'spin-doctors'...

*Sigh*

A spin is a lie and spin-doctors are liars. We should go back to calling something by its name, rather than using a more 'politically correct' word. Our world will be so much better if we stopped lying to ourselves so much.

Hmmm, must be the caffeine kicking in. :)

Thursday, October 28, 2004

Believing Is Seeing!

Happiness in the Hub

If you are a baseball fan, you have surely heard that the Boston Red Sox finally won the World Series after an 86-year wait. And that's not for lack of trying. Some people have actually waited their whole lifetime to see this happen. And last night, at long last, their dream came true.

It's a good time to be in Boston. Everyone's in a celebratory mood although they don't quite know what to do. Red Sox Nation has been so used to 86 years of disappointment that they don't know how to handle their long-awaited triumph. There was an initial spark of revelry right after the game. It lasted until the players flew home in the morning and made an appearance in Fenway Park. After that, it seemed everyone went on 'low-battery'. People have been staying up late to watch the World Series and cheer on the team and now that they've won, there's not much energy left. I have no doubt that people are just trying to catch up on their sleep to prepare for the big celebration on Saturday.

To some, it may just be a sport. To Red Sox fans, it is the realization of a faith they held on to for decades. It is a story that inspires all fans and non-fans alike. It inspires us to never give up our dream or belief, no matter how the odds are seemingly stacked against us. It teaches us to go on, no matter how many times we fail. It just goes to show that we cannot give up, even if we've failed 86 times before. Believing in the impossible made a bunch of self-confessed "idiots" World Series Champions. So never stop believing. Indeed, believing is seeing!

Monday, October 25, 2004

The Karate Kids

The Fearsome Threesome came fresh from Karate class the night we dropped by to visit. They were in their kimonos and proudly wearing their karate belts. We asked them to show us their moves and they gladly put on a show. Here are some action shots of the three B kids in their martial arts poses...


B-1 Kenobi and B-3 PO
Notice the Power Ranger influence.

B2-D2
Strutting her stuff (Dig the yellow belt?)

Friday, October 22, 2004

Yankees, So Who's Your 'Papi' Now?

In my four years in Boston, the one thing I can say about New Englanders is that they are the ultimate sports fans. It's quite fascinating to me how loyal they are despite circumstances. All the more fascinating since I am not a sports fan. The only sports I ever played were volleyball and badminton, and both aren't big here. But walking by any sports bar during football and baseball season is quite an experience. The euphoria that unleashes everytime the home team scores radiates into the streets and envelopes any passersby. It makes me smile seeing so many people so happy. And to me, the scene is so 'Americana'.

In my first year here, I was asked what I thought about the possibility of the Patriots going to the Superbowl. "Who?" I asked. The reaction was quite amusing. It would be the same kind of look one would receive if they said they were Republican here in Massachusetts. It didn't help that the girl I was talking to was engaged to someone who worked for the New England Patriots.

So just to see what the hoopla was all about, I watched the Superbowl and saw the Pats, then the underdogs, win. I always enjoy it when underdogs win. I think it makes victory sweeter. It was the same reaction I had when I watched the last four games of the American League Championship Series (ALCS) when the Boston Red Sox faced the NY Yankees to see who goes to the World Series.

The Red Sox had lost the first 3 games in the best of 7. Everyone was saying that the Yankees had it in the bag, especially since the Red Sox had not advanced to the World Series since 1986 and never won it since 1918. It was 3-0. When I heard that, I decided to watch Game 4. The underdog seemed to be in deep trouble, and this I certainly didn't want to miss. Not that I wanted to see them lose, but in case they decided to go against insurmountable odds, and triumph over seemingly certain defeat, I wanted to witness it. There's nothing like witnessing a moment like that as it happens. And it did! They won the next four games, in heart-stopping, nail-biting, history-making fashion. One New York newspaper's headline was "Hell Freezes Over". I think they summed that up pretty well. Haha!

The World Series starts tomorrow. The last couple of weeks, I kept saying that the curse of the Bambino will lift on its 100th anniversary. It just seems more romantic that way. But after seeing all the drama that unfolded in the last few days, I say that now is certainly a good time as any.

Sunday, October 17, 2004

Home Improvement

On Saturday afternoon, Hubby decided we were going to do a virtual renovation. All these months, I've borrowed one of Blogger's templates. I wanted to design my own but the last time I attempted html was seven years ago, doing my very first webpage. Knowing how involved it was for a non-expert, I decided to just work with Blogger's freebies in the meantime. M's decision to give my blog a new home was very welcome. He is very comfortable with html and uses it with ease.

M and I put our heads together, brainstorming and designing. He put me to work with Adobe Photoshop creating what we needed, and he worked on the html coding constructing, in virtuality, the blog site's 'floor plan and blueprint.'

So welcome to my blog's new home. I hope you like the new look as much as we do. :) It's still a work-in-progress. It's not perfect and still might undergo some changes. Please make yourself at home. Someone's got to be in the housewarming. :)

Tuesday, October 12, 2004

Piano Prodigy In The Making

She just turned four last April, yet so early in her life she exhibits such talent. M's adorable little niece has displayed this aptitude to learn just about anything. But above everything else, there seems to be emerging, a remarkable musical ability. It started out at around age two, with her inventing songs about her grandmother, aunt, parents, and her brothers. The songs always expressed either her love for them or a story about them. It never was just the two-note or two-chord songs. It would always have a wide range of notes, complete with pianissimos to crescendos.

About a year ago, her seven-year old brother started piano lessons. Ever since then, we would find her from time to time, sitting in front of the piano trying out the keys. Lately, she has taken to playing with both hands at the same time. It is definitely not the thoughtless pounding that most kids do when their hands are on a piano. Hers is a sweet thoughtful melody with both hands playing, creating music that complement each other.

Last weekend, she had made a song that she had entitled, "Missing Building". :) She had a whole prologue explaining the story behind the title which I hadn't heard because I was preoccupied with something else. We asked her to perform it, so she sits herself in front of the piano and starts playing. We were surprised at what was flowing out of the fingers of a musically untrained four-year-old. It had a sad and melancholic feel to it. She ends it quite dramatically on the lowest note and lets her finger stay there until the sound faded. She then turns to us with a smile, and basks in our praise and applause. M, wanting to record the song, asks her to repeat the last part. She gamely turns around, repeats the ending down to the last note and finishes with flourish. We were stunned as it confirmed to us that it was not some random hitting of the piano keys, but an actual thought-out composition.

At the moment, she is enrolled in jazz, tap and karate. She is also supposed to start guitar lessons with the guitar that M & I bought her. However, I believe that my sister-in-law has a piano prodigy in the making. She knows she needs to hone that raw talent and bring her before a piano teacher soon!

Tuesday, October 05, 2004

Mang Duliong

I was walking home today and I passed a construction site. The smell of sawdust brought back a fond memory. A memory of a man who used to come and work for us every summer during my childhood. His name was Duliong. Everyone called him 'Mang Duliong'. Back home, 'Mang' is a title of respect used with the first name of a man.

Mang Duliong was a carpenter, but I came to think of him as our carpenter. He would periodically come to our house, mostly during the summer, looking for work. He was old, thin, toothless and bent but he always had a ready smile. He wore a shirt that looked like it needed washing and a pair of pants that had seen better days, with a rope as a belt. His worn feet were adorned by equally worn slippers. My mom would always welcome him and find things for him to fix or make when he came to visit. He would stay for several days to a couple of months, depending on how long the work took. As kids, we were used to having guests and unexpected visitors, but Mang Duliong we always welcomed with delight. We loved to watch him repair and make things. During our breaks from playing, we hung around the garage and prodded him with questions endlessly. He was not very talkative but tried to gently field every one of them.

He made my first bed. It was white, with a high headboard, footboard and fancy railings on half of each side. He built our fence and our gates. He even rebuilt our garage. When I got tired of my 'little girl' bed, he made me and my brother matching headboards that had neat compartments and drawers. Yes, he was old but years of hard labor had kept him strong. At nights, he would relax by buying himself 'Shoktong'. I never saw anyone else drink that but apparently it was Chinese wine. He would sing, "Happy, happy all the time, drinking Chinese wine..." And we would always laugh and sing along with him. He had become a sort of a fixture during our summers. Mom would offer him used clothes that were in great condition. My Mom fondly chuckled when he refused a pair of flare pants because it was demodé! The 'in' thing then were the tapered legs cut. The man was fashion conscious! When his work was done, he would pack up. We were always sorry to see him leave. But he would always pick up his tools and move on, like a nomad, until the following year brought him back to us again.

Only years after did I find out that during his younger days, Mang Duliong used to work for my grandfather in his sugar plantation in Bacolod. He and his wife, Pining, were workers who lived in the farm so he practically saw my Mom grow up. Because of his carpentry skills, he and his family were transferred to Manila when my grandfather bought a property for my Mom after she got married. His daughter, Teresita, even became the nanny of one of my brothers. From then on, even when he was no longer under my grandfather's employ, he managed to find my Mom wherever she lived, and would show up at her doorsteps looking for seasonal work. That's how the whole routine stayed for years, so he saw me and my brothers grow up too. He seemed to consider us his family.

One year, he failed to come. And the next, and after that. We could not ask after him as we did not have a telephone number. Where he lived, there were no phones. I doubt they had proper addresses either where he came from, probably just unpaved roads and landmarks like trees and hills to refer to the direction of a person's dwelling. We longed to know how he was and what his circumstances were. We made up reasons for his absence, but deep inside we knew the inevitable had happened. He was, after all, a very old man.

I still think of him through the years. I wonder about him, how he spent his last days and how he died. I regret not getting to know him more. I regret not asking him about my Mom's childhood and adolescence. I regret not asking more about his family. I regret not knowing where he lived so we could have gone looking for him when he did not show up. I regret not being able to thank him for everything that he did for us and for being that strong and quiet presence in our lives, even as he caused a ruckus with his hammer and saw. I never had a photo, but I will never forget his face. I haven't heard his voice in decades, but I will never forget him singing that happy song. Salamat, Mang Duliong! Thank you for enriching my life!

Sunday, October 03, 2004

PINOYexpats.org

Finally, it has launched!

PINOYexpats is an e-zine for Filipino migrants in Europe and I had the privilege of being invited to contribute. Check it out! It's full of articles and anecdotes. My article is entitled "My Yurrupean Trek" and appears on the 'Stop-over' column.

Congratulations, Melissa! The birthday of your brainchild finally arrived!

Monday, September 27, 2004

Habitat For Humanity

Several months back, as part of our company's 100th anniversary, we worked with Habitat for Humanity to rebuild and renovate a two-family house in Dorchester that was gutted by fire six years ago. It had been abandoned after and everything was left as it was. So our job was to empty the house of all the burned stuff, including a refrigerator that still had food in it. Imagine that! Well, maybe not if you're eating. After emptying the soot-filled house, the clean-up followed. We demolished and threw out what was rendered useless by the fire and proceeded to work on what was left, which was basically the frame of the house. Everyone was assigned a task, like putting sealant in the basement, making the porch, etc. We were given instructions by engineering students who volunteered their services as well. I worked on hammering blocks of woods in between the walls and floors to help insulation, as well as the skeletal structure that supported the shelves. It was a hard but very fulfilling job. All the resulting aches in our bodies were worthwhile knowing that two very deserving, low-income families would be given a home that they could only dream of before then. Last week, they had the turnover of the keys to the recipients/new owners. Below are the photos of the house 'during' and 'after' the renovation.
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DURING




AFTER


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Not too shabby, hmm? It is encouraging to see some evidence of what people can do collectively when they give even a little of their time and themselves. The little that we do can really mean the whole world to somebody.

Friday, September 24, 2004

'Writing On Empty'

I am totally drained and uninspired. I am unable to expound on any topic, even the ones I feel strongly about. My mind's 'low-batt' sign is on. I was asked to write for an online magazine that's being launched called Pinoy Expats. The e-zine's target audience is the Filipino migrants in Europe. The 'Editor-in-Cheap', as I call her, is Melissa, a friend and former colleague of mine in the Philippines. She wants to do a monthly publication that will help network the Filipinos that live in the European states. I asked her why she would want something from me. Yes, I am an émigré, but a US one. Yes, I live in what is probably the most "European" city in the United States, but I am still thousands of miles away across the Atlantic. She recalled that I did a one-month trek in Europe a few years back and she asked me to write about my experience. After some thought, I happily obliged. I considered it an honor to be asked and be part of her worthwhile project. I worked on that article for about ten days. Writing, cutting, pasting, re-writing, editing, proof-reading, correcting...it wasn't easy. I had to relive that time and found myself vividly recalling my experience then. It was fun revisiting the places in my mind and remembering everything that transpired. Of course, it's all interesting to me since they are my memories. The challenge was to make it fun and appealing to other people as well. Anyway, I turned in my work yesterday and she seemed to be really happy with it. Let's see what survives her cuts and snips when the magazine goes online on September 29. Heh heh...

Thursday, September 16, 2004

Silly Gander

Hubby calls me 'silly goose'. If I'm a silly goose, he is definitely a silly gander. In fact, he's the silliest of all. We've almost completed year four and I can truly say that we have had a whole lot of fun. He leaves me in stitches with his quips or the things that he does, ranging from a one-word response or a barely noticeable expression to downright slapstick. His playfulness even comes across in his emails to me during the day at work. If you find me smiling at the monitor, chances are he has just sent me a silly, sometimes bordering on ridiculous, message. His humor is mostly subtle but all the more funny because it takes one by surprise. Whenever I'm in a mood or throwing one of my very rare PMS-induced tantrums (?), he usually finds a way to snap me out of it and have me laughing before too long. His funny but loving ways has managed to defuse a lot of tense moments in our relationship.

If you ask me what factors make a marriage work, I would definitely put sense of humor (from both parties) up there, along with the big words of love and commitment. Life is short and challenging enough as it is. It's great to have a partner that you can laugh with. I love it that this goose has a gander, and a really silly one at that.

Friday, September 10, 2004

Seeking Help

A couple of days ago, I got a call from a close friend. We hadn't spoken for some time and it was nice to hear from her. After the usual pleasantries, she blurts out with a giggle, "Guess what? I'm seeing a therapist!" I said, "Congratulations!" She was surprised by my response. She asked me why I would congratulate her as most others would probably find it unsettling. I told her that it was a really healthy move and affirmed her decision. Most people have a hard time admitting even to themselves that they need help. And really, all of us do. Seeking counselling requires a lot of humility, honesty and courage. I believe that taking the initiative to approach someone for help is the first step in dealing with our issues and healing.

I'm not saying we should all grab the phone book and make an appointment with the first psychologist we can find. It is very important to be careful in choosing from whom we seek help or advise because we can end up more messed up than when we first started. God knows that I know this from experience. Someone I cared about ended up worse in the hands of an extremely irresponsible and egotistical psychiatrist, who turned out to be just as sick. They developed an emotionally dependent and destructive bond, which just served to exacerbate their problems. They both are now still picking up the pieces of their fractured lives and trying to move on.

A good friend who exhibits a lot of wisdom and is willing to listen can sometimes help just as much in making us process or work out our thoughts and feelings. Of course, if the issues are really deep and complex, then it's better to consult a trained professional.

Burying our head in the sand and pretending there are no problems does not make the problem go away. Issues that remain buried can fester and seep through. It will eventually manifest itself and hurt your relationships in a more devastating manner.

This friend of mine has it all, a hugely successful career, wealth and a loving family. Despite all of that, she felt she was still missing something so she sought help for her inner unrest. Kudos to her for doing that!

I did remind her though that in her quest to meet her emotional, physical and material needs, she might have forgotten the spiritual one. It might actually just be a matter of attending to that need that has been long neglected and sacrificed, in the pursuit of the others. You see, I believe that man is body, soul and spirit, and all three need nourishment...but that's another story.

Friday, September 03, 2004

The Art of Verbal Fart

To fart is to to expel intestinal gas from the anus. It serves no other purpose but to force out something the body does not need. It does not benefit anyone other than the one that does it. Being in the presence of someone who just dealt it can be a disagreeable experience.

I have the same reaction when I am forced to listen to a verbal fart, which is what I call it when someone is full of hot air and spews it like lava out of their mouths, with no other real purpose but to brag or listen to themselves talk. I guess they like the sound of their own voice and verbalizing their every thought process affirms their self-esteem. What's sad is, they are not even aware that what they are actually displaying is their immaturity, ignorance and insecurity. Sometimes I find it amusing and just laugh it off, and at other times find it really sad that nobody cares enough to tell them how they actually come across to other people.

Don't get me wrong. I've been guilty of verbal farts, especially retaliatory ones, and I've berated myself for showing such a lack of wisdom. But there are people who have mastered the 'Art of Verbal Fart'. It has taught me to be really careful that nothing I do resembles that.

We have one such person at work. Even before his mouth opens, his whole demeanor bespeaks arrogance. His verbal fartings are endless. He grabs every opportunity to give advice or opinion even if it is not sought, and displays his supposedly superior knowledge as an HBS graduate. He always lets everyone know how busy he is and will emphasize that at some periods of the day by just complaining loudly or screaming from his office. He makes it a point to stop by my office to whine to me and anyone that can hear in the hallway about his present crisis. The funny thing is, he's such a small fry compared to the others in the office. The big players do their work quietly and get a lot of things done, whereas Small Fry here parades everything he does with as much drama as he can. If you give him a moment, he will stand in front of you with arms akimbo, blocking all other view, and will launch into a lecture of the world according to him. Sometimes I just refuse to acknowledge his presence when he stops by and I don't even turn from my computer. I can't waste my time being a willing audience to his theatrics all the time. He reminds of those tiny dogs who noisily bark and growl for show but jump a mile high the moment you stomp your foot.

Letting a verbal fart rip, as with an actual one, evokes two kinds of reactions. If you're in a great mood, you find it amusing and comical. On a bad day, it can be extremely irritating. Today, he just broke too much verbal wind that the air has become polluted and unbearable. It's nauseating!

Tuesday, August 31, 2004

The Latest's First

Last Saturday was the first birthday party of M's youngest nephew Danny, the latest of fifteen nieces and nephews. So everyone in the family who lived in New England made the five-hour trek to Long Island to celebrate the ocassion, along with M's parents who are visiting. One of M's sisters, who lives in Florida, flew in unexpectedly with her husband to everyone's pleasant surprise.

The sun was out and the weather was warm and perfect for a birthday barbecue. The birthday boy was, of course, the center of attention as he delighted everyone with his big, smiling eyes and his charming chatter. I'm sure it means something, at least to him. Part of the fun was trying to figure out what he was trying to say! We sang his very first birthday song and all he did was look at all of us in awe and wonder, clueless as to what was happening around him, like all first birthday celebrants. He was showered with gifts which made his parents and everyone else more excited than he was. His focus during the gift-opening was one of the presents, just because it was small enough to chew and bite on. He's still at that "everything goes in the mouth" stage.

Like the usual gathering of this family, there was plenty of delicious food and mega servings of conversation. The decibel level is always high when we're all together, although this time we almost broke the sound barrier as we brought along the Karaoke DVD player that was given to us a gift by my cousin a few months back. M and his siblings gamely belted out songs and danced to the music. His 7-year old nephew, Puchito, did his James Brown impersonation with "I Feel Good!" complete with the signature scream! I guess Danny had had enough at one point that he walked over to the TV and switched the channel. When that failed, he tried pull out the cord. The kid is already showing great instincts! :) And it's only his first birthday.

It was a really fun weekend. Getting together with M's huge family is always a riot. It reminds me of my own big family back home and how rowdy we get. Before long, it was time to get ready to leave. It's quite a drive but very well worth the the trip!



Danny and his cousins (the younger batch)


M has really cute nieces and nephews. I hope they're an indicator of how our own kid would look like!

Tuesday, August 24, 2004

Strawberry Fields...and a Barbecue

I have a new respect and appreciation for farmers. I have only observed farm work done in my grandparents' farm and sugar plantation long ago but never actually done it. I knew it was hard labor, but I never experienced it until now. Last Friday, we had our annual company Volunteer Day at the Waltham Community Farm. It is an urban 6-acre organic farm for hunger relief. They grow organic vegetables and supply soup kitchens, shelters and food pantries that feed the homeless and help low-income families in and around Boston. One group's task was to "liberate" the strawberry fields that have been hijacked by weeds. I volunteered since I did not want to be stuck with the mundane task of sending out letters to possible donors. Weeding seemed easy enough to me. That is, until we arrived at the strawberry patches. They were not exaggerating. You could not even see the strawberry plants as they were completely overtaken and buried by weeds. We labored and toiled under the sun for hours until the poor plants were free. Boy, being on your knees or haunches in 95-degree heat on a humid day is not easy! Battling those weeds were harder than I imagined. The joints of my forefingers were aching from all the pulling despite the gloves I had on. As the morning came to an end, we were all sweaty and grubby but the strawberry patches actually looked like, well, patches. There were about eighteen of us working the weeds but it took us a few hours to clear everything. No wonder organic produce is so expensive!

In the afternoon, the company brought the volunteers to Thoreau Center and treated us to a barbecue and an afternoon of fun. I was so excited to see a badminton net as I haven't played it in a long time. Much to my frustration, I couldn't find anyone with whom to play some serious badminton. I was then beckoned to play volleyball by the same people I played beach volleyball with last year. It turned out to be a really intense match! I found myself reliving my volleyball days, only my muscles were older and weren't as cooperative as before. I pulled a hamstring blocking a spike from a man who was a foot taller than me. I did not even consider stopping as I was having too much fun. But before long, two more injuries happened which were more serious, so we had to end the game.

I paid dearly for doing too much that day. I was in pain the next three days and couldn't even walk straight. Today, I still feel a bit stiff, but at least it isn't evident to everyone else anymore.

:)

Thursday, August 19, 2004

The Great Thing About Power Outages

After Charley's visit to Florida, many people were left without power, water and worse, some were left without a home. Fortunately, the homes of Michael's sisters in Florida had but a few things in need of repair, like parts of the roof and the fences. However, as with many others, they were left without electricity, water and telephone for a week. Food was either off a can or grilled. As for personal hygiene, it had to be done the French way, "faire la toilette" which is great when you have a limited amount of water. With schools and workplaces closed and a curfew of 8:00 pm enforced, the families spent the kind of quality time that can be had only in times such as this.

Despite the inconvenience of power outages, I have found myself remembering all my experiences of it in a very fond way. I loved the way the moon lights up the night, indoors are only lit by lamps and candles and how quiet it gets. Only human voices and animal sounds can be heard breaking the silence. With a setting like this, people have no choice but to gather around the light and tell stories or play games. And out of this time come the most interesting stories, the funniest jokes and the most heartfelt conversations. It can become a very special moment.

The people of old passed down oral history from one generation to another. Gathering around the fire was a nightly ritual which strengthened bonds between the elders and the children and established strong relationships between people. Our generation is a very distracted one with all the gadgetry available, with still newer ones that come out everyday. Televisions, VCRs, stereos, MP3 players, computers, Playstations, etc., it's sensory overload! The only way one gets to enjoy this now is when groups go camping or when an act of God leaves us with no electricity. And even then, sometimes people fail to see the chance to enjoy the gift of a time like this.

Friday, August 13, 2004

How Truthful Are We?

Truth.

It's a short word but apparently one of the hardest to understand. I see people assert things which I know are untrue without batting an eyelash. It has weighed heavily on my mind lately.

What is truth?

The lexicon meaning of it is:

1 a archaic : FIDELITY, CONSTANCY b : sincerity in action, character, and utterance
2 a (1) : the state of being the case : FACT (2) : the body of real things, events, and facts : ACTUALITY (3) often capitalized : a transcendent fundamental or spiritual reality b : a judgment, proposition, or idea that is true or accepted as true c : the body of true statements and propositions
3 a : the property (as of a statement) of being in accord with fact or reality b chiefly British : TRUE 2 c : fidelity to an original or to a standard

On the other hand, among the many actual "kinds" of truth that abound these days are:

Embellished Truth - The braggart's favorite tool
The truth is stretched a bit further and exaggerated in order to impress or glorify one's self.

Half Truth - The manipulator's handy device
When only a portion of the truth is given and the rest of the information left out so as to affect a perception or an outcome of a situation. Usually used when one wants to manipulate a circumstance or state of affairs. Any other kind of "un-fact" that is riddled with some truth, so one can still say that what was said was true. The other one is the "white lie" supposedly done primarily to spare the feelings of people.

Twisted Truth - The fanatic's desperate grip on their sanity (also the Policitian's way to get elected)
When feelings dictate a person's perception of reality, so the truth is twisted to fit someone's convenience. I guess one example is a parent's unwavering perception of how their child is no matter if proven otherwise.

Most of the time it isn't flagrant, but extremely subtle. I'm sure we can all quickly come up with the times we used any, or all of the three. Unless we lie even to ourselves and say that we are never untruthful. :) If we actually believe that, then we are in dire need of therapy for delusion.

Truth contaminated with anything else is, in fact, A LIE. So yes, everytime we state anything else but the simple, bald fact, we are lying. That is the hard truth.

What makes people lie? I believe it is fear. I know that the times I have lied, it was because I was scared about something. In the end though, I always regret not being truthful because I know that things usually turn out in the best, not necessarily easy, way if the truth is all laid out in the open. Besides, it has its way of catching up and that's something I would rather not have to deal with.

What is the purpose of truth? I recall two sayings. One is, "the truth hurts," and the other is, "the truth will set you free". So yes it hurts, but it sets you free. It sets us free from pretensions and lies, and the many problems that arise from it. Truth is often very hard to accept or deal with, thus you find that the people that face it, are often the most courageous.

Deep inside, we all know when we're being totally truthful or not. At least I hope so. Even if we cannot admit to lying in front of people, I hope that we can, at the very least, admit it to ourselves. Unless we lie so much that we actually start to believe that our utterances are true. What a scary thought. I hope we all learn to handle our lies before it starts to handle us.

Saturday, August 07, 2004

A Great Weekend Starter

I love Saturdays. I always look forward to it. And it's not only because I get to wake up when I want. It's because I open my eyes to the smell of bacon and eggs and get served a wonderful breakfast in a tray, in bed. Crispy bacon strips, sunny-side up eggs cooked to perfection, three layers of pancakes topped with whipped cream, dripping with (low-fat) maple syrup! Haha! I wonder if that makes a difference at all. A tall glass of milk tops it all off. Perfect. It's a great way to start the weekend. Hubby has made it a tradition to pamper me on Saturday mornings with that special treat, and I enjoy every morsel and every moment of it. He does it with so much flair that it sometimes looks like a breakfast cart in a five-star hotel. It is quite a feat for someone who claims he doesn't go near the kitchen for fear of setting it on fire. I know it's just a bunch of baloney. For my birthday, he whipped up his first ever attempt of the Filipino pastry called "Sans Rival". It is layers of meringue with roasted and crushed cashew nuts filled with rum-flavored buttercream in between. It isn't called 'without rival' for no reason. I must say it was an unqualified success. It matched all those that I've tasted from the best known pastry shops in Manila. It was the best birthday cake I have ever had! Everyone who had a bite of it raved at how good and rich it was. It has a million calories per serving but well worth the try. Okay, enough about this now. He promised me a massage. :)

Friday, July 30, 2004

My Nephew, The Man

My eldest nephew was born when I was seven years old. I was the youngest in a brood of six, so I really considered Kal more like the younger sibling I never had. We "borrowed" him from his parents as much as we can and kept him with us for days at a time even as a toddler. He was a total sweetheart of a boy, beautifully disciplined by his parents so he was never a headache to have around. He was an adorable little boy, intelligent but never sassy, vocal but never disrespectful, strong-willed but never stubborn or disobedient.

One very distinct memory I have of him is when I took him out on our first "date". He was seven and I was fourteen. I decided to bring him to the movies to see "Supergirl". He sat on my right with his little legs sticking straight out in front him. As the movie started playing, the guy seated to my left started talking to me and kept asking for my name. He was becoming a nuisance and wasn't getting the message that I wasn't interested in anything else but watching the movie with my nephew. Kal notices this and stretches his arm over me and holds the arm of the chair between me and the guy. I realized that the little runt was trying to protect me. He stuck his little chin out and said in the most threatening voice a seven-year-old could muster, "LEAVE MY AUNT ALONE!!!" He said it so loud that the guy got embarrassed, got up and left. His gumption really amazed me. He sensed something was wrong and he was fearless in confronting a man who was double his size. I knew then that he was made of good stuff.

A few days back, he tells me he is going through a most trying time in his life. He poured out all his troubles, concerns and emotions. But as he told me a story that would bring out the ugliest in every person, the actions he contemplated showed deep character and unwavering moral fiber. All of us in our family have gone through similarly trying situations but have not displayed such a mature and loving spirit at that age. He had sought me for comfort and advice, instead he showed me true grace at work. In his darkest moment, my nephew exuded nothing but light. In his deepest despair, he left me inspired. In his most crushing moment, he made me proud.

I salute my nephew. I know he's going to come out of this victorious. With that beautiful attitude, how can he not? I said before that I knew he was made of good stuff. Now, I am convinced. I hope we all learn from him.

Tuesday, July 27, 2004

Soul Work-Out

Today is a time of reflection for me. I turn ...ty-four. :) Okay, okay, thirty-four ! I look back at my life and it has been quite an exciting ride. I am thankful for everything since I know that every single thing that I have in every sense, comes from God. Yes, I have had more than my fair share of heartaches, sufferings and trials since my single-digit years. I used to ask why I was allowed to go through so many trials which commenced at such an early age. My childhood was idyllic until around my seventh year. After that, it seemed like it was a series of testings, one after another. My young mind was forced to process a lot of things that my school or playmates were yet oblivious to.

Having the rug pulled from under me quite often enhanced my ability to know how to fall correctly. Life Judo, I guess? Getting a headstart on working on those emotional muscles is not completely bad. No one is promised a charmed life so it's good to be well-equipped as early as possible for life's many surprises. I call it Soul Work-Out. Physical trainers always say, "no pain, no gain". Your body will never be toned and defined unless you put it to work. As we have Physical Trainers to keep our bodies trim, we have life's problems for our inner-life work-outs. "No Pain, No Gain" applies to our souls as well. It, too, needs toning and defining. Without these, there will be nothing to check our thought-life, motives, actions and reactions and keep our hearts strong. I have wasted a lot of soul work-outs by sometimes cheating and not doing the proper 'regimen' that goes with it. Those were the times I chose to be bitter with some experiences, instead of better. In my thirty-fourth year, I promised myself I would try and squeeze every lesson that I can get out of a soul-workout. That way, I can learn not just how to fall correctly, but to stay up as often as possible, no matter which direction the rug is pulled. The older I get, the more and more I am convinced that all those trials equip me for something I need to do for someone who is in my life or who will come my way. That's why I know that things always happen for a purpose, a purpose that is higher and wiser than ours.

Friday, July 23, 2004

Of Demiquats, Job Reviews and Old Friends...


Here come the Demiquats!
It is the last weekday before the city of Boston is thrown into chaos because of the Democratic National Convention (DNC). Everyone expects the city to be at a standstill next week. The site of the DNC is but a few minutes walk from where my office is and a ten-minute drive from where I live, so we expect the democrats to descend upon us like ants on a candybar. Traffic will be horrendous as many roads near to the convention center will be closed and there will be spot checks on all the trains if you are carrying a bag that is bigger than the prescribed size. A lot of offices have closed for the entire week, telecommuting or doing flexi-time, hospitals are postponing elective surgeries, emergency cases and transport of patients are to be done by boat as they expect the city to be in a gridlock. I expect our offices and the financial district to be a ghost town next week. A lot of people have taken vacations or are working from home. I opted not to take any vacation days as I am saving it up for a couple of trips we have planned for November and January 2005. Besides, with the amount of people gone from work, there will be less interruptions and more things accomplished.

Half-year Review
I had my half-year review yesterday. It went pretty well as both my boss and I affirmed that we generally enjoy working together in spite of the few run-ins we have had due to his temper. My reviews usually go well but I still hate having them. Having someone assess your skills one by one can be nerve-wracking. It ended with him handing me a gift for my birthday before he went on his six-week vacation. It was a great surprise because I did not think he even knew that my birthday was coming. But trust my boss to keep you on your toes. He may fly off the handle more than usual, but he has such a good and generous heart.

Another Old Friend
Today, I found another old friend. Thank God for the internet, the world is a much smaller place than it used to be. I 'googled' her and found her blog ( http://www.pinayexpat.net ). It seems to be really popular among Filipino expatriates in Europe. She has a very well designed site and her postings are really quite entertaining. I didn't expect anything less from a fellow UP graduate. Heheh!

We met when I was working for a Swiss trading firm in the Philippines and needed an Assistant. She was the top choice at the onset. Her resume was tops, her personality winning, confidence oozing, and needless to say I was partial to her because she was from UP. :) We worked very closely so we got to know each other pretty well. We became confidantes despite the short time we spent together. When I resigned to prepare to leave for the US, she filled my position. We lost touch soon after that. Today, we managed to catch up and we were giggling like schoolgirls. There are people that I just really click with without having to try. She is definitely one of them, no matter how "mataray" she can be! Hubby and I now have a standing invitation to visit Frankfurt. And if we come during winter, she said we could hit the slopes of the Italian or Austrian Alps together. That would be fun!

Wednesday, July 21, 2004

Lunch Al Fresco at Faneuil Hall Quincy Market

Yesterday, a friend from work invited me out to lunch. J, our EVP, is a blast to work with. He reminded me a lot of my gay friends back home, talented, humble and witty. He calls me "girlfriend" and he provides me the same repartee I had with my friends from back home that I missed so much. Both of us craving for seafood, we went to Kingfish Hall in Faneuil Hall-Quincy Market in the heart of Boston's historical Financial District. It was a warm and sunny day so we decided to dine al fresco. After looking at the menu, we both chose the Oven-Roasted Cod which the server said was "fantastic". As we waited for the food, Faneuil Hall bustled with activity. Like any other summer day, hundreds of people, tourists on vacation or office people on their lunch breaks, mill about the shops or sit down on the benches with some take-out from the food outlets of the Marketplace. They watch the different performing artists strut their stuff or play their instruments in the cobblestoned square under old gas streetlamps. All these provided for great setting as we talked about everything else but business. Mind you, this was supposed to be a business lunch. We talked about his recent break-up with a boyfriend and his long and painful road to recovery. The difficulty of finding love and partnership when you're over 30, as many of the "eligible" men are either already committed or married off. It was a pretty interesting exchange of views regarding loving, losing and trying to find love again. Our Oven-Roasted Cod arrived amidst our discourse only to stop as soon as we took our first morsel of the cod. The first thought in our minds as it melted in our mouths was that the word "fantastic" was an understatement. The special topping on the cod had a hint of mustard that I cannot describe. Something I intend to pin down as I am set to go there again to have it. That special sauce perfectly complemented the tenderness of the cod. The meal came with a small and crunchy potato cake topped with spinach and salad dressing akin to balsamic vinegar. The whole dining experience was pleasurable in every sense, from the food to the conversation to the setting. All too soon, it came to an end. Reality set in and we had to go back to the office. We never got to talk about business during lunch and we did not mention the fact either. Business was taken care of, back in the office where it belonged.



Faneuil Hall and the Boston Harbor by night

Friday, July 16, 2004

No More Heroes

I was starting to write something regarding the pullout of Philippine troops from Iraq because of the terrorists' threat of beheading Angelo dela Cruz.  I, too, was hoping that Cruz would say something in Tagalog that the kidnappers would not understand and tell the whole Filipino nation not to give in to the terrorists' demands.  But in this day and age, acts like that are hardly ever seen anymore.  Jose Sison puts it together better.  Here is what he wrote in the June 16 issue of the Philippine Star:
 
"I am not really sure what I will do if I find myself in the same situation as Angelo. I might have also done what he is doing by appealing to the government to save my life for the sake of my family. I don’t know. But every-time I look at the video footage showing him at the hands of his merciless captors, the picture that swiftly comes to mind is that of the late Chief Justice Jose Abad Santos meeting his death bravely and calmly staring at the Japanese kempeitais with deadly samurai blade pressed on his neck. He gallantly gave up his life rather than gave in to their demands and betray his country, As I sat on my comfortable rocking chair in front of the TV screen, I pictured Angelo telling his countrymen and our President: "Don’t heed the demands of these cowards. I am ready to die for my country" I thought that seldom is such opportunity given to any person as that given to Angelo. He would have emerged a greater and larger than life hero had he done that. And he would have spared the country of the shame it is now reaping just because it values the life of even a single Filipino more than national honor.
 
I am not faulting Angelo for what he did. Working in such a dangerous place and putting his life in danger so that his family can live decently is heroic enough. This is more of an indictment on our society. We are no longer capable of producing heroes in the mold of Chief Justice Jose Abad Santos and others like him who gave up their lives for the country. Somehow we have lost our focus in life. We have concentrated more on our temporal concerns and almost forgotten that there is another more valuable life which we may lose if we love life in this world so much. The spirit of true heroism has simply deserted us because we have lost sight of a more sublime life that never ends."
 
I am also pasting the link to Max Soliven's article.  Max Soliven was a friend and colleague of my Dad's.  I always devoured everything he wrote, specially during the days of the Marcos dictatorship.  Here is his take on the latest Filipino fiasco:
 
http://www.philstar.com/philstar/NEWS200407162602.htm 

Tuesday, July 13, 2004

Open Season on Filipinos and the Philippine Government

Now that the Philippine government has shown terrorists worldwide that they can be bullied to do something, it is open season for us. Muslim extremists in southern Philippines and Jamaah Islamiyah of Asia have cause to rejoice. The future is bright for them. As long as there is someone to kidnap and behead, the Philippine government will do their bidding. Why don't we just concede and give them the reins of government to prevent any other threats? That way, nobody has to be kidnapped and threatened with death anymore.

Just when we thought the Philippine government could not do any more wrong, it manages to surprise us.

I am fiercely proud of who I am and being a Filipino in many, many ways eventhough the behavior of the Philippine government and politicians have brought shame to us many times. But today, my head hangs a little bit lower.

Wednesday, July 07, 2004

XX years ago, I...

I got this in an email from my niece, Portia ( http://porsh.blogspot.com ). It's one of those fill-in-the-blank stuff. I thought it would be interesting to put up here.

10 Years Ago, I...
1. was in San Francisco when the big earthquake hit LA. Tricia and I felt the “pre-shock” the night before I left in Pacific Palisades. We were terrified as their house was right on a cliff.
2. shot “Buhay Makulay”, a musical special made for TV with Ray-An Fuentes, Jo Lastimosa, Martin Nievera, Tricia Amper-Jimenez, Duncan Ramos, AJ Eigenmann, etc. in Virginia Beach, VA for 700 Club International. CBN "hijacked" all the Philippine channels during prime time of easter week that year, and inundated everyone with our faces. Haha!

8 Years Ago, I...
1. went backpacking alone through Europe for a month. I did meet up with friends who lived in Belgium, France, United Kingdom, the Netherlands and Germany.
2. met Prince Philippe of Belgium. Very nice and unassuming man with a self-deprecating sense of humor.
3. got offered a role in Miss Saigon while visiting the German production.
4. did the role of Belle for a Broadway revue, “The Great White Way”.
5. got offered the role of Svetlana by Monique Wilson for the musical, “Chess” which was slated to be done in the summer of 1996.

5 Years Ago, I...
1. did my last performance in a ten-year span as Asenath for the musical, “Joseph the Dreamer” with Gary Valenciano as Joseph.
2. quit my job at a Swiss sugar trading firm where I worked for a year.
3. got an interim job at the European Union to write their 1999 Living Conditions Report and the 1999 Country Report. Those two reports are the basis of how much compensation and benefits the diplomats get. Boy, were they ever nice to me!
4. got offered a job at Disney World Florida to be part of their Millennium Celebration project which spans 15 months.
5. shot my last TV commercial in Manila for Bayantel, and it was with my MOM!!! We had been offered the parts separately and went home to tell each other about it and found out we were appearing in the same TV Commercial. I played a nagging daughter to my mother. Art imitating life? :)
6. left Manila and arrived in Florida to work with Disney.
7. met Hubby.

3 Years Ago, I...
1. moved into the apartment in Malden with M after living temporarily in Cambridge.
2. applied for a permanent resident card and Michael and I had our interview three months later.
3. started my job in Sasaki Associates in Watertown, MA.
4. got Figaro as a surprise gift from M.
5. got the chance to have a walk-on part in a national TV commercial for Merrill Lynch. I never saw it!

A Year Ago, I...
1. couldn’t go home for my father’s funeral.
2. started working for a financial firm in Boston, MA.
3. had the mole on my chin removed.
4. went to Las Vegas and Grand Canyon with M.

This Year, I...
1. went to Southern California and Tijuana with M. That was fun!
2. will turn 34. Ugh.
3. will get my headshots done. I said that last year though.
4. will apply for my US citizenship.

Today, I...
1. will try to work as best as I can no matter how sick I still feel.
2. hope M feels better.

Tomorrow I will...
1. go to work as usual.
2. try not to get in trouble.

Thursday, July 01, 2004

Fools Are Proud and the Wise Are Humble

Last Sunday's sermon in church was about the quality that a lot of people lack these days, genuine humility. The minister expounds that real humility is when you do not measure yourself on how you stack against other people. He adds modesty is not enough since it is merely knowing how to act humble when the heart may still feel haughty and proud inside, that we should instead compare ourselves to God so that we know what our true state is. He warns how God is and will go against people who are proud, who think they are better than others, either because of their possessions or what they think their stature is because of their titles. A verse that I continually repeat to myself is Proverbs 16:18 where it warns that, "Pride goes before destruction, a haughty spirit before a fall." (Thesaurus result for haughty: proud, arrogant, conceited, self-important, snooty, stuck-up, puffed-up, overconfident, self-aggrandizing, high and mighty.)

I was always taught that humility is a virtue that we should practice. Old school ways even teach that the higher you are, the more humble you should be. It's because wise people know that whatever they possess comes with great responsibility. One will find a difference in those people who come from old money (whether they still have it or not), and those who are newly rich or as the French refers to them, "nouveau riche". This includes part of the bourgeoisie or the middle class who used to be "have-nots" but have a bit more money now than they were previously used to. The former feel they have nothing to prove and go about their business. They wear their wealth like an old, comfortable shirt. They go about what they do with a sense of duty. The latter may not possess the same sense of accountability because their concern may be to show off their newly acquired "shirt" more than anything else. Insecurity makes them feel the need to shout about what they have, strut in their supposed status in the town square. They devise ways to make everyone feel small so that they can feel good about themselves.

I remember my teenage years when my youthful pride reigned supreme because I needed to prove myself, as most youths are wont to be. I was involved in the local show business back home and the treatment you get there can really get to your head. My wise mother and very close friends (fellow performing artists) would be my check and balance. My mom kept my feet on the ground in gentle and (most of the time, heheh!) loving correction. And with my friends, I realized that the giftings and talents of people are all different but together they balance each other. A truthful assessment of one's abilities is a good thing since one can really tap into their talents and complement another person's strong and weak points. My friends and I really achieved meaningful productions and work when we strove for a common goal. We also learned a lot from each other, through good and bad times, through camaraderie and even fights! I would be dishonest (and proud) if I say that I have totally outgrown feeling smug at times. It is difficult, especially around arrogant and pretentious people whom you want to bring down to earth with a sarcastic remark or two. Although sometimes it is called for. But I get reminded of my Mom and mentor-friends' careful instruction. Long ago, a minister who did a study on the life of Solomon really made an impact on me. Solomon's pursuit of wisdom above all things impressed me so much that I started praying from that day on that God would grant me wisdom. In gaining wisdom though, you need a lot of humility. Humility to learn from everyone, even the ones whom you think have nothing to teach you. It's an everyday struggle, thus I keep in mind another favorite verse:

Proverbs 11:2
When pride comes, then comes disgrace, but with humility comes wisdom.

Foolish or Wise?

Friday, June 25, 2004

Getting reacquainted with old friends

It seems I have been doing that a lot lately. I don't know what it is but I have this drive to look for old friends and get in touch with them. There are those that I cannot find or I guess refuse to be found for one reason or another. And there are those that I find and are now are a meaningful (and fun!) part of my life once again.

Recently, I got in touch with someone with whom I haven't communicated in 6 years. She was part of probably the most turbulent time in my life. She was one of the people who anchored me and listened to my incessant ranting and raving then. She and her husband, both counsellors and ministers in church, went through some difficult periods because of their support for me. They were dragged through a most unpleasant experience and I really regretted having them suffer through repercussions because of their friendship with me. But there they were, unflinching and ready to defend and fight. I really felt guilty about having them go through such a tumultuous time on my account. We all knew deep inside though that a lot of times, standing up for what is right and exposing wrongdoing entails sacrifice. But as we all believed, God will not let anything touch you for which He does not have a divine purpose. We were both looking back as we chatted, and agreed that no matter how heart-wrenching that experience was, it taught all of us valuable lessons that we would not have learned otherwise. We see in our present circumstance the great fruits of the seemingly bad experience and how we all grew in immeasurable ways from it. She told me that she published a book and that a chapter of it was on that hard road that we travelled years back. Of course, I and the other characters involved had remained unnamed, but it is gratifying to see that something positive is coming out of that unhappy episode. Her books are flying off the shelves and is into its second printing because copies are hard to come by. I can't wait get my hands on one! I am really happy that God can use for good that turbulent time to help and encourage others in their ministry. While I have long joked that I should write about my experience so that I can at least cash in and get something positive out of it, I do know though that it can truly help other people in their own painful journeys. I already have been able to help a number, which I would have been ill-equipped to, had I not gone through what I did.

My friend has encouraged me to write everything down and even suggests that we collaborate on something. That's something to think about.

Friday, June 18, 2004

Routine Check-up

I went to my dermatologist/allergist on Tuesday for a routine check-up. I come out of that office with stitches on two different areas of my left leg. As my doctor, who looks more like a mad scientist with his long, salt and pepper hair in wild disarray, proceeded to examine me, he asked if I had any spots on my legs. I showed him two spots that appeared in the last five years. He became a bit concerned because both looked like very dark and irregular moles. He asked me if I minded having a bit of scarring on my leg. I assured him that since I did not plan on joining any beauty pageants, that it really did not matter to me. Anyone would rather have a scar than risking skin cancer, right? So off he went to get his paraphernalia ready and proceeded to cut and snip away. I wanted to sit-up and watch but didn't think he would like that. I spied him taking two good chunks of flesh from my leg and put it in separate cases. I was quite surprised at how deep he went. It looked like about an eighth of an inch deep and across. He then proceeded to stitch me up. Thank God for novocaine, I did not feel a thing! So now I'll be sporting bandages on my leg for the next couple of weeks. So much for getting a nice, even tan!

Friday, June 11, 2004

The Simple Life - Gag me with the entire silver place setting...please!

What do people get out of watching two real-life brats complain condescendingly about everything that they think is beneath them? Is their ignorance of the real world cute? Is it so amazing to watch two supposedly high-born (financially) and well-bred (obviously not) people act in such a manner?

I don't get it. I was channel surfing the other day and came across a rerun of this show. Going into a family's house that had just one bathroom had this pair in disbelief, Paris Hilton (You'd think her parents would have done a better job raising her) and Nicole Richie. From what I saw, it was clean and a decent-looking one, but they were walking through it like it was the filthiest thing they have ever seen. One of them tries to look behind the shower curtain and the other one quips, "Ewww! I don't even want to look in there." Going shopping with a list (from the family, I assume), and a budget of $50, you could hear them say, "Ewww! Who eats that?" in reference to bottled pig's feet that was on top of the list. Obviously, some people do, hunni. And it's a very impolite thing to do or say. Didn't your mother teach you that? Oh, I guess not. Obviously, she was too busy shopping or having cosmetic surgery that she didn't find the time to teach you manners or even pay someone else to do it for her. In reading "generic bottled water" on the list, Paris says, "What's generic?" They went over the $50 budget, and they asked the cashier if they could just have the rest of the items. The cashier responds, "This isn't a soup kitchen." Predictably, she responds, "What's a soup kitchen?" I read somewhere that she didn't even know what a Wal-Mart is. Give me a break.

I watched the show for a few more minutes and then I changed it because it made me extremely sad. This is one of the many shows that our media inundates us with. And what's sad is, unless parents bring up their kids with very strong moral values, this generation of America will think this kind of behavior is not only normal, but considered "cool". Does being born with a lot of money or being adopted into it, in the case of Nicole Richie, automatically mean that people can act without propriety or manners?

I remember when it used to be the good qualities of a person that were celebrated like courage, integrity, kindness, etc. And most of those born to wealth were brought up with a sense of discipline, propriety, responsibility to give back of themselves and accountability to watch what they do, as they knew that with their status came visibility.

Nowadays, it seems that most of society is riveted with money and those who have it or find a way to acquire it, no matter what method. Yes, the fascination for the rich and their lifestyle is not new. But it has never been so shamelessly flaunted by those who have it in such a crass manner. It isn't a responsibility anymore. It's now more like a license to do whatever regardless of who is offended and, often times, what law is broken. I guess that's what happens when one suddenly comes into money and does not have the breeding and the class to handle it. A pig, in Gucci, is still a pig.

Monday, June 07, 2004

Back from Sunny California

It seems like it was only yesterday when I posted my last blog. Well, we are back now after a week in sunny California. It was a nice break from the unpredictable weather in Boston. Everyday was so warm, sunny and bright that I felt I had to give my eyes a break half the time and wear sunglasses. It just goes to show that I have been buried like a mole too long in New England. :)

We stayed in the Welk Resort in Escondido, which is a really nice family resort. They have a golf course, tennis courts, pools of different sizes for kids and adults, some with slides, a clubhouse with foosball and ping-pong tables, a kid's room with different kinds of children's books and toys. There are activities all throughout the week that guests could join like Tai Chi, Yoga, Aerobics, Bridge, Karaoke, movie night, etc. Needless to say, it was wasted on us since we hardly spent any time there. Michael and I spent the week driving to San Diego, Tijuana, the coast and Los Angeles. We did not have a set schedule as we just did what took our fancy on a particular day. It was a vacation after all and we did not want to be under any time pressure. The only exceptions were the two late afternoon dental appointments I had with my cousin in Glendora which both segued into a karaoke party. My cousins love karaoke and do not miss the chance to have me sing when I visit. It is always a hilarious event as everyone just gets crazy, trying to sing and dance. Usually, the kids are made to perform whatever talent they have or think they have. Heheh! It is our revenge for the time our parents made us perform before our relatives. At one point during a disco (karaoke) number, someone said that we ought to have disco lights. My cousin turned the lights off and promptly brought her spinning disco lights with matching smoke machine. Of course, the dancing started. Michael was cracking up! He could not believe that she had the set-up at home. Michael had his time at the microphone too. I think they saw how much fun he had that we were gifted with a karaoke player right before we left!

San Diego reminds me of Florida although the topography is more interesting and the city planning is better. The nearby coastal towns are charming and full of character. We spent our first day just driving around and taking in the sights.

We also went south of the border to Tijuana, Mexico. We left our car in the border and took the bus across. Tijuana reminds me of the less modern urban areas of Manila. Walking through Avenida Revolucion brings back to mind Escolta. They have all sorts of vendors of all kinds of things you can think of. Kids surround you in the hopes of selling some of their wares. Michael, being the softie that he is, ended up with stuff that we did not need just to humor the girls, some of whom were probably barely five years old.

We met up with my friend, Lito and we spent a day at San Diego's Wild Animal Park. It's not as great as Disney's Animal Kingdom though but still leaves you fascinated and entertained. Their collection of animals is impressive and add the three of us to that list, it made for quite an interesting day. :)

Hollywood Boulevard hasn't changed much. Different shops still line the street, a lot of which were either selling souvenir items or clothing and items which can be considered "risque". We went to the new Hollywood & Highland Mall beside the Kodak Center and the Chinese Theatre. They were taping Ryan Seacrest's show there and showed it on the giant screen across from where we were having lunch at the California Pizza Kitchen's outdoor tables. From there, we went to Rodeo Drive, Beverly Hills and watched the sunset in Santa Monica Beach.

Venice Beach is like Harvard Square by the sea. You see all kinds of people, artists, performers, flower children, vendors, psychics and tarot card readers enjoying "La Vie Boheme". It's truly a melting pot of all colors and flavors. It is an interesting area and I wouldn't mind spending a few days there just to experience it in full.

After an overdose of sunshine in all these places, Michael and I flew back to a cold and drizzly Boston. It made it an all the more painful ending to a nice, warm and relaxing vacation. Ugh! I want to move! :)

Thursday, May 27, 2004

Countdown

Seventeen hours more and we will be on a plane to the West Coast for a week of doing what our whim dictates. Ahhh. I am looking forward to being in a place where the climate is warmer and more stable. I love travelling. Travelling has one downside...packing. I HATE packing. Unpacking is easier but I hate that too. No matter how much I prepare myself mentally with lists, I still find myself packing until the wee hours of the morning before we have to leave for any destination. My lucky husband gets to snore the night away while I agonize about making sure we have everything we need, but not overstuffing our suitcases. He gets done way ahead of me because he takes care of making sure we have all the gadgets (GPS, PDAs, laptop, video camera, tapes, digital camera, batteries, wall chargers, car charger, battery charger, cables, etc.) that he wants to bring along. Egad. Getting those things ready is a bit easier though. I have to pack toiletries, medication, vitamins, maps, travel documents, etc. and planning two people's wardrobes for an entire vacation. Just thinking about it tires me already!

I must count my blessings though, because the vacation always makes the packing worth it. It's just that I am used to a simple vacation with just a camera and some clothes in tow. Going on a vacation with a techie adds a totally new dimension. Gadgets are supposed to make the vacation experience better. The thing is, sometimes you spend more time setting up the stuff rather than just enjoying the experience. Anyway, just to get out of chilly Boston will be a treat. Having some warmth, whether setting up a gadget or truly experiencing a place, is better than being cold and wet.

:)

Hasta luego, baby!



Wednesday, May 26, 2004

The Doctor Is In

That's a sign I should post outside my door at work. Or I could close it and replace "IN" with "OUT". My office has become a haven for people who wish to vent. Two people do that more than anyone else but there's this one that's very regular. I see her about thrice a week during her lunch break. She strolls in whether I am working or having my quiet time during lunch and starts to talk about her life. During midday, I put myself in "break" mode, nuke my lunch, read a book or go to a website that I am interested in. Then I hear her say, "What's going on?", plops herself on top of one of my drawers and makes herself comfortable. I then have to be polite, tear myself away from whatever pleasure I was indulging in and play therapist at least for the next half hour.

I really am amused sometimes at what other people consider a "problem". I have heard the "problems" of many people and sometimes I really try to suppress a smile because they might think I am trivializing something they consider serious. I know people's feelings are valid even if they're emotionally distraught over something so perplexing as a best friend not calling, or whining because they can't decide if they should buy all the colors available for a pair of pants at Banana Republic. That is when I want to say, "By God, get a life and get a real problem!" It's become so bad that if I hear the person's voice in the hallway at that time of the day, I grab my bag and flee! I find myself window shopping a lot! :)

I really don't mind being a shoulder to anyone at all. I love to be of help to people usually. I have played the role of sounding board/counsellor to many friends and even acquaintances who, later on, become friends. There is satisfaction in seeing people resolve their challenges and grow from it. It's just that if the advice given is never heeded or the issues play like a broken record for months then that's when I become really "busy". I can help someone who's fallen down get up, but I can't be an enabler to a person who has an addiction to self-pity or just to his/her 'self' (I bet you know the kind, it's all about them!). I will not be a permanent crutch to an emotional cripple who doesn't choose to get better. Life's tough enough. It's dang hard keep someone else emotionally afloat! Heck, my degree should have been in psychology. I can at least get paid for this! Arrrgh!

Thursday, May 20, 2004

A sunny day in Boston...

Sunny days in Boston in any other season other than summertime is something to write home about because it's few and far between. When it does happen, it's an almost perfect day. It's this ideal mixture of just enough sunshine to warm you up but with a cool breeze to keep it from being humid. On days like these, you find Bostonians dressing down like they are headed for the beach. Capris or shorts, flip-flops and tank tops in all of the happy, spring colors. It is quite a change from the long coats in deep, dark winter colors. Everyone will rave about how beautiful a day it is. I guess it's the classic case of appreciating the things that you don't always have. I never understood how people can obssess about the weather until I moved here. Before, all days were the same to me since I come from a country where probably 330 out of 365 days are sunny and warm. I never checked the weather unless there was a typhoon or storm warning. In the last couple of years, I find myself checking the weather every single morning in order to dress appropriately as New England weather has proven to be very unpredictable.

On American Idol...

To the disappointment of Hawaiians and Filipinos all over, Jasmine Trias got voted off American Idol. Jasmine, as young, pretty and popular as she is, just didn't measure up to the performances of the other two finalists, Fantasia and Diana. She sings quite well and is a sentimental favorite of mine (La Toya was my choice to be American Idol), but it was time for her to go. Her performances weren't strong enough to top the other two. It would have been bad for her if she stayed as the resentment against her was steadily growing. This way, people still think of her in a favorable manner and that is better for her in the long run, PR and record sales-wise. It really is not her fault that she topped La Toya in that one show. Everyone thought La Toya was a sure thing and probably gave their sympathy vote to Jasmine. AI or not, La Toya has it made. I am sure she'll be fielding offers from all sides once her contract with AI finishes. As for Jasmine, even if she doesn't make it in the music biz nationally, you know that Hawaiians will always support her no matter what she does.

So now it's on with the final two, Fantasia Barrino's incredibly sensitive, unique, very endearing style and amazing vocal prowess against Diana DeGarmo's rah-rah cheerleader personality and often astounding "diaphragmic" strength. Let's see who wins the hearts of the fickle AI voting audience.