Le Tour Cliché - Part 5

PINOYexpats Meet

Early the next day, J dropped us off at the downtown Starbucks for breakfast. I could hardly contain my anticipation in meeting Ruth and Raquel. Meeting two of the brilliant thirteen (naks, syempre kasali kami ni Melissa doon! Hehe!) that make up PINOYexpats was something I was really looking forward to. It was like seeing old friends. These are the people that I probably have emailed to the most in the last couple of years because of all the brainstorming email sessions that we have before each issue. So there we were eating all the fatty Starbucks pastries and chatting on, sometimes reverting to Tagalog, as Hubby patiently listened and looked on. The conversation did not disappoint, and I didn’t really expect it to. After all, how can people who are such fun to read be bad conversationalists? :) Too bad, the other nine members couldn't join us!

Ruth, moi, Melissa and Raquel

After our cups of Joe and sweets my body could have done without, Raquel and Ruth had to run off to their respective commitments. After making reservations for the Thalys for our departure the next day, Melissa took us on a walking day tour of downtown Frankfurt. We stopped for a taste of the local frankfurter and some beer in the square called Römerberg, where Ruth met up with us again after class. It’s a beautiful, historic square that was leveled during bomb raids in 1944, but was reconstructed after the war.

As we tried to figure out the best way to go around the city, Ruth had the great idea of taking the Ebbelwei Express (Apple Wine Express) for a tour. They are these festive and colorful trolleys that serve the city’s famous Apple Wine or cider, the city’s drink of preference and some pretzels while they take you to all the sights in Frankfurt. It was a really fun way of seeing the city without wearing out your feet. We couldn’t have had a more enthusiastic tour guide who, in my book, is the German with the most winning and endearing smile. We asked him to take our photo and he actually asked the driver to stop so that his hands wouldn’t shake. The driver happily obliged. :) In preparation for the World Cup which was to open the next day, there were humongous television screens scattered all over the place, even in the middle of the river. There was just no way anyone in this city could miss the game unless they lived under a rock.

Our feet put on some more mileage after getting off the Ebbelwei Express going around the shopping districts and the Alter Oper, Frankfurt’s beautiful old opera house. I wasn’t surprised when our feet (or was it our stomachs?) led us to the local Häagen-Dazs to cool off kuno with different delectable ice cream concoctions. Our day of sight seeing might have ended there but our day of eating didn’t.

In the evening, Melissa and J took us to the apple wine tavern, Adolf Wagner for a truly German dining experience. Pinoys that we are, Melissa and I ordered their version of the crispy pata to share, the Haxe. When she ordered one for us to share, I gave her this look that clearly said I wanted my own piece. She laughed and assured me it was big enough. I’m glad we shared because I was waddling like my pregnant friend when we left the place. All my misgivings about eating after the *pant-ripping episode I had the previous day, which I conveniently forgot to mention in the previous entry, were tossed aside. Ang sarap sobra! It was a great way to cap our very memorable German experience.

Early the next morning, we tearfully said our goodbyes and told Melissa and J that it shouldn’t be another eight years before we saw each other again, and that it was our turn to host them in Boston. O ano, Melissa, kelan?

*After our day in Heidelberg, I carried JP up the stairs into the flat. As I bent to set him down, we all heard a loud rrrrrrrrIIIIppp! Of course, everyone started laughing as I felt a cool breeze envelop my rump area. My lime green undies showed under the 5-inch rip of one of my favorite casual pants. It's a good thing that it happened when we got home. Obviously, all the romping, tumbling and falling I did in Heidelberg stressed my worn out non-stretch pants. The non-stop eating didn't help either. Or maybe it's the other way around. Whatever it was, my butt was obviously more than my pants could handle at that moment. Melissa and J now have a souvenir of our stay with them.

Le Tour Cliché - Part 4

A Friend in Frankfurt

I squatted down near the phone at the Frankfurt Main train station rummaging through my carry-on to look for her number. I glance up momentarily and right into my sightline waddled this extremely familiar woman with her husband and child in tow.

A very loud “HOY!” escaped from my lips before I could stop it. The only thing that prevented me from running to her were my bags. Melissa and J had not changed one bit. Maganda at guapo pa rin! They were as I remembered them years back, except for the fact that she had a round belly and that they had their little retazo, JP who I was setting eyes on for the first time. He proved to be even cuter than the photos I had seen.

J prepared a delicious welcome dinner for us, as he contributed here and there to the endless chatter and laughter as Melissa and I caught up. Hubby who was busy getting to know JP as they played with his castle and knights, tuned in and out depending on what he understood as Melissa and I switched back and forth from English to Tagalog.

After the sumptuous dinner, we headed off to the World Cup Sky Arena, a light and sound show in downtown Frankfurt that started at 11:00 pm. It was quite an experience as they closed off some roads and shut off all the lights and illuminated all the skyscrapers by projecting on them a 25-minute retrospective of the FIFA World Cup. We were among thousands from all over the world that watched and sometimes cheered as the faces of their favorite players appeared on one skyscraper or another. All in all, it would have been an even greater experience had there been some more audience participation. I could not believe that, with the amount of people there from different countries, there was no wild cheering, jeering, binge drinking or dancing. Amazingly, everyone was just a little too well behaved and polite for an event like that. I almost expected to hear an echo when I let out a little whoop when they showed Pelé, at one point. Just the same, we enjoyed the experience. I guess as fanatic as soccer fans are, they only really let loose during an actual game.

Heidelberg Hike

The next day, J and Melissa took the time off to drive us to the old town of Heidelberg, a charming city that sits along the Neckar River. We decided to sample the local cuisine before walking around. After a nice and hearty meal of sausages and schnitzel, we, along with Melissa, almost 7 months pregnant, gamely hiked the 300 or so steps up to the Heidelberg Castle. The Castle is definitely worth the climb, not to mention the spectacular view it offers of the city. We ended our little tour with a stop at a tearoom where Melissa and I gorged on four different pastries “to refuel.” :)

As Pinoys are wont to be, we discussed dinner as we were stuffing our faces with cakes! We decided we were going to go Pinoy for dinner. So the rest of the early evening was spent getting the ingredients from the Asian store. At dinnertime, two meals were prepared. J and M had chicken teriyaki and Melissa, Rhoda (Melissa’s sister) and I had Sinigang. JP had a sampling of both, a true mix of his Asian mother and his European father.

Ipagpapatuloy...

Le Tour Cliché - Part 3

08 juin 06 - Trip Day 13
(In the ICE back to Cologne, en route to Ghent)

Ghent Bike Tour

Our Ghent host, Marina managed to get some bikes for us so we can do a bike tour of Ghent. I consider myself pretty adept at biking but it’s been many years since I spent a considerable amount of time on a bike, so I had misgivings, especially about biking in city traffic. However, Ghent, as with a huge part of Europe, has bike lanes all over and very strict rules about giving bikers the right of way. So off we went on an early evening tour Ghent seeing the bustling streets that lined the river Leie, beautiful medieval structures like the Belfry Tower, St. Baafs Cathedral, St. Nicholas Church, as well as the Gravensteen Castle which has a dungeon that houses medieval torture instruments. We made the most of the “evening” sunlight from 7 to 10 pm. Biking around this historic Flemish town can’t help but leave one impressed with its rich history. The best part of it is it remains undiscovered to your everyday tourist. The whole time I was pedaling, I was thanking God that it was not a hilly place so I managed to really enjoy the sights without catching my breath. We stopped for a slice of Black Forest cake in the town square before heading back home and resting for the night to recharge for Bruges the next day.

Beautiful Bruges

I got so much flak for missing Bruges during my last visit to Europe that this time, we made sure we included it in our itinerary. The “Venice of the North” is as beautiful and picturesque as we were told although boats are only used for tours and not as a means of transportation. Beguinage (Begijnhof) is an impressive little community that houses Benedictine nuns in the present day. It used to be the home of Beguines who committed to a life of obedience and chastity. They were not a part of any religious order, and there are only 20 remaining Beguines left today. Our Lady’s Church housed the famous Madonna and Child sculpture of Michael Angelo Buonoarotti. It is one of the very few Italian masterpieces that are outside Italy.

Bruges’ little houses, colorful marketplace, stunning town square, the centuries old churches, like the Chapel of the Holy Blood and St. Salvator’s Cathedral are truly enchanting. Its medieval charm is something not easily forgotten. All the fairy tales you have read with kings, princesses and paupers “in a land far, far away” will find a home in your mind once you see it.


Cologne

On the urging of many friends, we decided to skip our intended stop in Luxembourg and opted to visit Cologne instead. It was easier access by train and supposedly had this “dome” that was supposedly very impressive. Ignorant as I was about Cologne, I expected to see a big impressive dome. Upon arriving, we were greeted right away by this monstrosity of a gothic cathedral that was referred to by the locals as the Döm. Oh, and there was no dome. Heheh! I call it monstrous not because it is ugly, but because the way it towered over the Hauptbanhof. Impressive indeed. You would think that everyone had a neck problem as they craned to look up the moment the windows allowed them a view.

After managing to tear ourselves away from the jaw-dropping Döm, we walked around in search of lunch and wanted to sample dishes that we never had before. We settled on a restaurant called Restaurant Slavia that served Croatian food. We figured we would leave it to Melissa and J to educate us on genuine German cuisine. All I can say is, Marina, my dear Croatian friend, I am soooo in Zagreb soon! And that red sauce, oh my gosh! Does that come in bottles? Hint, hint! :)

As with any waterfront, the Alstadt of Cologne was bustling with activity. There was a flea market by the river which sold old records, books, and even a vintage car. Musicians were all over and families were playing in the green spaces you see everywhere. It was a pretty idyllic scene. It was really hard to leave and make our way to Frankfurt, but the thought of seeing Melissa in all her pregnant glory didn’t make it too much of a problem. :)

Abangan ang susunod na kabanata...

So sorry...

I know, I know. This needs updating! It's just been so crazy since we we've been back.

-Our baggages didn't come home with us so we were tracking it and following up with the airline and courier;

-settling in at home, and stocking up;

-unpacking and laundry when our luggage finally came;

-major changes at work, albeit good, it involves me having to change work location the second time in four months! (same building naman);

- and dealing with jetlag.

I used to be quite immune to jetlag. But as I have "advanced" in years, I find myself having to deal with it a lot. :)

We're also choosing which of Hubby's 4,700+ photos are worth keeping, deleting and sharing to people. As you can imagine, that takes some time.

Le Tour Cliché will be back very soon. Pramis!

Le Tour Cliché - Part 2

03 juin 06 - Trip Day 8
(In the TGV to Antwerp)

Mga Kaibigan

All sorts of reunions took place in the Netherlands. In The Hague, I saw friends that I hadn’t seen since my last visit in the fall of 1996. Some of the Miss Saigon cast in the Netherlands have stayed and made the Netherlands their permanent home. One of them graciously hosted us during our visit, Shweng Lancion. We started off our first day in The Hague walking around the Royal Palace, the Binnenhof of the Parliament and the town square taking our usual photo ops. By midday, we had to make our way to Nordwijk to meet Shweng for lunch and have a tour of the European Space Agency where she works. We saw rooms where they manufactured parts for the Hubble Space Telescope, and what looked to me like a huge camera, apparently for deep space viewing. One of the rooms was for the Design Verification of Spacecraft Acceptance Testing of Flight Hardware. We saw men in shower caps and gowns, obviously engineers working on some space hardware few have ever personally set eyes on. Pretty kewl stuff!

We made our way back to The Hague by early evening to meet friends for dinner at the Dim Sum Palace. Three friends, Patty Manahan-Santiago, Raymond Pacis and Risa Gregorio have sprouted extremely cute Mini-Mes Lucien, Kianna and Zoe respectively, and brought them along. Raymond was accompanied by his lovely wife, Cystine who apparently is a contravida in one of the local Dutch soaps. No one really changed much after ten years. I don’t know if it’s the Dutch climate or just great youthful Asian genes. Ours was the noisiest table as we reminisced about the past and also filled each other in on how life has been to us in the last decade and as with any Filipino gathering, there were lots of raucous laughter and great food. It ended all too soon as it was getting late and the kids were getting tired. Lucien was saying, “Let’s go home na…” with the typical Pinoy kolehiyala accent inherited from his Mom. Too cute!

05 juin 06 - Trip Day 10
(In the TGV to Cologne)

Svenska Tjena

After the Hague, Hubby and I made our way to Amsterdam by late morning one day. We intended to leave earlier to make the most of our day but our days of walking around were catching up with us. We found ourselves getting up later and later. And since this is supposedly a vacation, we decided we would cut ourselves a break and let our bodies rest for as long it wanted.

After a tour through the canals of Amsterdam, we disembarked at Anne Frank’s House. It was the one thing we really didn’t want to miss in this city. Unlike all the other great museums that we have seen, there are no beautiful works of art in this one. Yet, there is none more moving and thought-provoking than this little three-storey house beside a canal. It was a sad and poignant hour as we walked through the secret annex that hid Anne Frank’s family and some friends during most of the Nazi persecution. It was quite a testament as to how cruel intolerance can be at its worst form.

The next order of the day was to meet our two Svenska Tjenas, Helen and Helena who at that time were just flying in from Sweden to get together after six years. We met them for lunch at Dam Square and stuffed our faces with pancake pizzas while getting updated on each others’ lives. We continued on as we walked around checking out Amsterdam’s famous red light district where you find prostitutes on window displays similar to retail storefronts. Like retail, there was variety as you can find women of all races. Save for one, all of them were super-sized. That one exception was the one who actually had a client come-a-knocking as we walked past her “office.” I remembered it being a little bit busier than it was but I was told that the “fun” really started toward early evening. Our next stop was the Rijksmuseum where they housed works by Rembrandt and other well-respected Dutch painters. That day was when they premiered a short light and sound show called Night Watch which highlighted one of his paintings and the whole story behind it.

We ended our time together with our Swedish sisters by having drinks at the Guinness Restaurant near the American Hotel. It was a short reunion, but sweet and fun nevertheless.

to be continued...

Le Tour Cliché

28 mai 2006 - Trip Day 2
(Ghent, Belgium)

The Heart of Europe

Our first couple of days in Europe were spent in the heart of it. Belgium is referred to as the Heart of Europe. It may be small but like the heart, it serves as the center of the European Union. We explored the historical streets of and Ghent looked over the archeological diggings where they found three medieval tombs in the process of excavating for a parking lot. The rains made it just a wee bit colder than I had packed for, so we made our way to their smaller version of Fifth Avenue, Veldstraat and bought myself a little cardigan to tide me over for this trip. The afternoon showers prevented us from exploring any further so we opted to stay indoors for the rest of the night for some dinner and drinks.

The next day was spent in and around Grand Place getting to know its history in the Hôtel de Ville, seeing the Manneken Pis and his hundreds of costumes. We had lunch at the famous Rue de Bouchers where we had some mussels, escargot and rabbit among other things. Of course, it would not be complete if we didn’t have the very well-known Belgian waffles to top off our day before we made our way back to Ghent.


31 mai 2006 - Day Trip 5
(In the TGV to the Hague)

Blog du Jour

Our days in Paris went by quickly. The weather forecast was not promising, but the showers were intermittent, short-lived and mostly happened when we were indoors. :) The sun, which the weather forecast said would not make an appearance, managed to show itself for a good part of the time – more than we expected anyway.

As expected, Paris did not disappoint. It is truly a sight to behold no matter the weather. In the short time we had, we managed to cover most of the Musée du Louvre, the Impressionists’ section of La Musée d’Orsay, La Notre Dame, Le Sacré Coeur, L’Arc de Triomphe and La Tour Eiffel. We also took the Bateaux Parisiens to wrap up our cliché little tour. We figured we would hit the sights and return later on for a more meaty stay.

One thing to which we had to adjust here in Europe is smelling like an ashtray after leaving a restaurant. There’s just no escaping the “fragrance” of tobacco in any place. The smoking ban in public places that has swept the US has spoiled us. I guess having L’Air du Tabac mixed with your perfume or cologne du jour is acceptable, so smelling fresh is something we simply gave up on.

Hubby and I decided that given the chance, we would live in Paris for a year or two. Its accessibility to other European countries is one appeal, as well as the way things are run. The US can learn much from the French when it comes to city planning – mixed-use development, transport system, etc. In turn, the French can maybe learn a thing or two about customer service. We had our share of snooty waiters who simply did not attend to us after seating. A couple of times, we left after fifteen minutes of twiddling our thumbs and watching others who came after us get service. Ça m’est égal – we just gave our supposedly generous “American” tip to the waiter in the next restaurant. One happened in Champs Élyseés, and the other near the Eiffel Tower, close to where we were staying so I’m not sure if location had anything to do with it. I find it curious that the ordinary citizens walking by are more helpful than those who are in service-oriented stores or businesses, who give you almost nothing but the basic assistance. However, our impression of French hospitality is not based on these few incidents. Many other occasions in both my first and second visits were très positif and that makes Paris still rank high in my list of favorite cities to visit.

While waiting to leave for the Netherlands at Gare du Nord in Paris, we noticed a lot of security personnel running around, as well as a camera crew clearing the center of the arrival area. When I inquired with one of the crew, he said they were filming a movie although it seemed to us that they were waiting for someone important to arrive because the cameras were pointed toward the platforms and security people were milling about that area. Just as the hum of activities seemed to be getting at a fever pitch, we were called to board the Thalys bound for The Hague. Too bad, I was really curious as to what was about to unfold. Oh well, maybe next time.

more to come...

After Ten Years

Ah...after ten years, I am back on European soil. For years, I have been dreaming of flying back here. On Saturday, that long awaited dream came true. Hubby and I landed in Brussels and we've spent the last two days trotting around Ghent and Brussels. Tomorrow, we're off on an early train to Paris. The weather does not look promising but Paris is enchanting, no matter what season it is.

Hubby and I still need to deal with jetlag to synch our bodies with the local time so we're off to bed now to catch some ZZZs.

Bonne nuit!

And A Child Shall Lead Them

Seldom do we see the act of forgiveness reaping some very tangible results. To me, it is further proof that we shouldn't doubt that forgiveness has a lot of intangible payoffs, sometimes unseen or unfelt, but undeniably real nevertheless. It sends ripples on the surface that turn into waves as it passes from one human being to another. Waves that cause defenses to soften, walls to crumble, takes out the thorns of resentment, inspires kindness, love and a desire to change for the better.

At six years, Kai Leigh Harriott has mastered what I still grapple with.

Deeper Than Skin

The idea of beauty that is always presented by the media is the big-eyed, narrow-nosed, high-cheek boned, light-haired, fair-skinned, long-legged models that you see endorsing every product, from candy to cars. Anyone that came close to that so-called ideal is considered a "looker". It bugs me the way it has shaped and formed young people's minds (and those who just haven't grown up) on what the definition of beauty is.

What's beautiful?

There are those who obviously grew up with such colonial mentality that they opt for drastic changes and go under the knife to "anglo-fy" their ethnic Pinoy nose, or constantly wear colored contact lenses to hide what they think are their ordinary black eyes or dye their hair with a color so drastically different than their original hue that the whole look just doesn't add up. And then there are those who choose to enhance and showcase their best features by sensibly using make-up, clothes and accessories that fit their coloring and body shape to achieve a nice and original look.

I think you can easily tell what people's idea of beauty is in the way we doll ourselves up. The degree in which we undertake to enhance or change the way we look denotes how we see ourselves and how comfortable we are in the body we're born with.

All I know is there are those empty shells who are stunning when you first meet them, but all you hear is one monotonous hum when you get to know them. Their attractiveness seems to wilt and fade under the glare of scrutiny. Then there are those who look okay, but then bloom before your very eyes the longer you spend time with them (Note to the boys - the type that has nothing to do with how much alcohol one has consumed, okay!? Hehe...). Looking good can only bring us so far. Beyond that, there's just gotta be something else.

As it has always been said - beauty is only skin-deep. Sure, there's nothing wrong with making ourselves as pretty as we possibly can, but let's not stop there. Let's invest in our minds and spirits, as well, as they last longer than our finite bodies. True beauty is way deeper than skin. It emanates from within and transcends our physical limitations or attributes.

--oOo--

PINOYexpats' latest issue is now online. Homeward Bound tackles the joys of going back and re-experiencing our beloved Pinas.

Mother Said "Oops!"

I was an accident, the unplanned pregnancy after five kids (his, hers & theirs) - the "Oops!" My Mother said she and my Dad didn't plan on having any more kids after my fifth brother. I don't blame them. If I were in her shoes, I probably would have had my tubes tied by then. If I were conceived by a couple more modern in their thinking, I probably would have ended up in the bin of some abortion clinic somewhere.

Nevertheless, God thought that I should happen and I did. I try to imagine what life would have been had I not been around. Obviously, my parents wouldn't have had a dependable daughter, my brothers - an irrepressible sister, my nephews and nieces - a doting aunt! :) I wonder who would have been in my place doing all the things that I did in my work as a student, an artist, an employee, and finally, as a wife to my Hubby. He claims that he was bent on avoiding the altar until he met me. I have no doubt that he probably would have found someone eventually as I believe no one is indispensable. However, I do think that each one of us is irreplaceable, because we are unique and we leave our inimitable imprint on people and things.

If my Mother had decided to terminate me at pregnancy, life would have gone on for everyone else, but I do think it would have been different - maybe better, maybe worse, but definitely different.

Thanks for allowing me to make that difference, Mom. For that, I promise to strive to only make things better for everyone I come across. Happy Mother's Day!

How Kaavya Viswanathan got happy plagiarizing, got a hefty book deal and got caught

It must have seemed like a simple formula to her. Why not make my own coming-of-age story? With some talent and an aspiration to get published, she probably sat down on her desk, put every book she loved in front of her, lifted the things she thought was great out of all of them, put them into her own little literary cauldron and voila... at seventeen, she had a half-million dollar book deal and was on her way to becoming a best-selling author. In all the back-patting, glory and fortune that followed after, I wonder if it ever crossed her mind that she would get caught one day.

When the story first broke about the similarity of her book, "How Opal Mehta Got Kissed, Got Wild, and Got a Life" to two of Megan McCafferty's, she appeared in the Today show to earnestly apologize for the similarities, claiming that she loved McCafferty's books so much that she had internalized and plagiarized them unintentionally. They have now found a third chic lit book that bears a striking resemblance to hers. So no matter how much she blinks her eyes innocently, which way she cuts and stretches her story, it just does not ring true anymore.

A lot of us do foolish things during our teenage years that we regret, but the repercussions of what Kaavya Viswanathan did may haunt her for the rest of her professional life. This whole thing has brought into question every single article she has done in the past, endangered her status as a sophomore student at Harvard University, and cast a dark shadow on her future.

The saddest thing is, she probably is really promising and brilliant. Hélas, the taint on her credibility has now dulled that brilliance. One thing that she has going for her is that she is young. She can always find outlets for her other talents if no publisher ever signs her again. Another thing going for her is her newly-found notoriety. She can always use this to her advantage in the future. Pop stars, celebrities and disgraced business tycoons in this country have done it. I'm sure she can, too.

--------

Smart-ass question of the day: What career can one have when you have an Ivy League degree but have no credibility? Hehe - I'm sure a lot of you are thinking of pretty juicy answers.

He Chose Us

He will turn five this coming month. I don't exactly know which day. All I know is when we got him in September 1, 2001, he was about three months old. Figaro, my Senegal Parrot, was a surprise from Hubby who knew I missed having feathered friends. I once had Sydney, an African Lovebird; Chippy, a blue English Budgie; and Pepper, an Australian Cockatiel. They were hand-fed and raised from when they were still a bit bald and ugly.

Anyway, that September day, we drove up from Florida to Massachusetts. To my surprise, instead of taking the usual route, Hubby took Interstate 91, claiming it was the faster way to get to Boston. I thought that maybe he just wanted to try the scenic route since we were in no hurry. He continually urged me to get some rest and sleep, and I felt something was up. I was right. After driving around like we were lost, he entered a residential area, parked in front of a house and happily exclaimed, "We're here to pick up your baby!" It was the house of the parrot breeder I had corresponded with a few months before. Hubby and I had disagreed on the timing of getting one so I had shelved my plans to get one indefinitely. Apparently, he had asked the breeder to let him know when the next batch of hatchlings would be weaned. By then, she had three chicks that were just weaned so she showed us the three so we could make a choice.

We handled each of them, one by one, but Figaro stood out. Figaro had been taking a bath, so he was wet and funny-looking. He perched on Hubby's finger and just stared at him. He eyed Hubby quietly, cocking his head in wonder as he was spoken to - instant connection. My turn to hold him came and he perched on my hand contentedly as I stroked his head. He then put his beak on my cheek, went to sleep, purring happily, in complete trust. The choice was taken out of our hands. Figaro had chosen us.

That was five years ago. Almost everyday since then, we wake up in the morning to "Figaro! Figaro! Feed Figaro!", the reminder for his morning feeding. He says bye when we leave, and welcomes us home with a "Hi!" or "Hello!" He loves walking around the place. His ultimate destination though are always our shoulders. That's where he is happiest. He stays there for as long as we allow him, preening himself, and us.

A Late Bloomer

Back in high school, while all my girlfriends' bodies were slowly getting hefty at the right places, I was still a scrawny, little shrimp. I was short, thin and unladylike - Neneng nene! Definitely not ligawin like my friends, I was more of a buddy to the guys and often acted as their go-between to the girls. I was happy to help whenever I could and loved playing Cupid. But like any girl my age, I too had my crushes. Of course, the boys that I liked never gave me a second look. The very few that did like me never made a move because, let's face it - in high school, everything was about appearance and I wasn't really considered a catch. My singing voice was considered pretty, but not me.

By the end of my junior year, I was starting to get a little more attention from some guys. I wasn't used to it though. All those years that boys ogled my pretty friends I had spent daydreaming and creating in my mind my idea of how my knight in shining armor should be. Come the time I had a few of my own suitors, I really didn't know how to handle it and turned finicky. There was always an aspect or another that disappointed me. So as my girlfriends were going through the thrill of courtships and the heartache of breakups, I was the only one whose heart was yet unscathed.

I may have felt left out of the action then but now I am thankful that I was a late bloomer. I saw friends go through stuff that I probably wouldn't have handled well then. Later on in life, when problems did come, I was a little better equipped.

Oh, and of the boys whom I obssessed over but paid me no notice? I bumped into some of them through the years. Let's just say that our tastes do change and I'm glad that mine has done so for the better. I don't know what the heck I was thinking then! lol

Bulag-a Item

It's a good thing I wasn't eating breakfast when I chatted with someone very dear to me online this morning. I probably would have choked on it if I was.

He said he was in love. Now, that fact didn't surprise me as he has always been in love with eros. It was who he was in love with that did. He dropped the name of a famous actress back home known for her beauty, as well as her extremely cantankerous image. When I managed to pick up my jaw from the ground, I joked that he better behave himself as he would not want to be in this lady's warpath, lest he suffer a fate similar to John Wayne Bobbit. He revealed to me that this lady's private persona is the total opposite of her public image. She is apparently very sweet, humble and kind. Either those are words from a man that's very much in love, or she really is the way he claims she is.

By the end of our conversation, he had me pretty convinced what a sweetheart she really is that I was reminding him to make sure he deserves and reciprocates the treatment she gives him. Life...it can get pretty darn funny at times.

*Sigh*

Back from the Offsite

It all paid off - the hard work, the prayers, the endless rehearsals in my mind. The division offsite that I had been preparing for the last couple of months has come and gone. I hardly slept, was on my feet all day to make sure that everything happened seamlessly. Considering all the feedback, everyone thinks it was an unqualified success. It appears that no one noticed that I was running around like a headless chicken, putting out tiny fires. And that's how I would have wanted it anyway.

I've gotten congratulations and back slaps from all over. But there was one compliment that stood out from among the rest. A top executive approached me right after the last meeting, held me by the shoulders and said, "I wish I could clone you and send you off to the different divisions!" Embarrassed, I said my thanks and joked that I would do it for a fee. But I didn't feel the floor as I walked away and for a long time after that.

It's my fourth day at home and I'm still recovering from it. I don't know if it's because I lack exercise or I'm just getting old. It's taking me longer to recover from hectic trips, whether business or pleasure. Thus, it's taken me this long to post something here. I've had a lot of little things flit through my mind to write about, but this is as coherent as I can get right now - especially right after having to tackle something as mind-numbing as our taxes. Ugh...and I don't want to get started on that...

Brown-nosing Implied

"How did you manage to do that?"

A colleague of mine asked me that today when she found out I was going to our division's Leadership Offsite.

She's the third person who's asked me that ever since I was asked to participate and help out. This time, though, I detected a certain tone. See, the offsite is so confidential that some of the reports that are used in it are shredded right after. Therefore, the attendance list is very limited. I'm not exactly sure what the sentiment was behind her query, but I just responded with the truth.

"I did nothing. They asked me to help out, I said yes." I shrugged, smiled and changed the subject.

I haven't been working there long. It'll be a year in a month and a half, so I'm the newbie compared to everyone else. Despite my friendly and professional relationship with everyone I know, I will not be surprised if my attendance in the Offsite has raised a couple of eyebrows. I think that was what prompted that funny-toned question.

I work long and hard, and I always make sure to keep a positive attitude at work. It's not my fault if it's getting noticed. I won't be sorry for it, nor will I say no to opportunities that come my way just because it might ruffle a few feathers.

I enjoy my job, I really do. I'm not about to allow anything or anyone dampen it!

Chatty Saturday

A couple of Saturdays ago, I spent the entire day chatting. Except for a few bathroom breaks and quick trips to the kitchen for some juice or water, I was stuck to my computer chair all day. If Hubby wasn't nice enough to bring me food at timely intervals, I would have starved!!!!

I logged on mid-morning to find my nephew, Mikey, online. For some odd reason, this teenager loves chatting with his aunt, :) so we chat until about 11:30 am, which was 12:30 am his time in Manila. Before he logged off though, another person from Manila came online. I was surprised to find that it was my close friend, Bambi. I hadn't seen her online in years, so I was thrilled when a chat window appeared that said, "Kamusta?"

We caught up on both our lives and she updated me on the latest from back home. We were yakking until 3:00 am her time. She had church and a family lunch the next day so she had to hit the sack. I checked my clock - it was 2:00 pm. As soon as she logged off, my friend Amor who lives in Los Angeles logged on. So we start chatting when my friend Melissa, from Germany, makes an appearance. I was having a ball chatting with them individually that the day literally flew by. Before we knew it, Melissa was waaaay past her bedtime in Germany at 1:00 am (7:00 pm my time), and Amor had to tend to her bulilit, Alizza. This is where Victoria (from SF area) came in to take up the slack and we chatted the night away. I was so caught up in the conversation that when my eyes happened to look at the task bar, it said 11:30 pm.

"HOLY COW!" I told her. "It's already 11:30 pm and I started chatting this morning around 10:00 am!" Victoria was laughing, as she always does at all my antics.

I couldn't believe it. I didn't accomplish one thing that day. Well, except maybe to bond with a few of the special people in my life. Ang daldal ko, SOBRA!!!

Paula's on drugs...

I've been watching my guilty pleasure, American Idol, for the last few weeks now. I must say that this is the best batch of contestants so far. The only downside is having to endure the blather of Paula Abdul. She is getting so annoying! Her eyes are only half open, she almost slurs when she talks with her shaky voice, she claps like a lunkhead and she praises every contestant even when their performance does not warrant it. Her babble has become irritating to say the least. I mean it's nice of her to try to see the positive in every competitor but sometimes it just sounds patronizing already. Her opinion has started to get less and less credible. Even the contestants give her only polite (and hopeful) appreciation when she's heaping praises on them, whereas you can see gratitude in their eyes when Randy Jackson gives them his -- and they just positively glow when Simon Cowell gives them even just a little nod of approval.

Too bad that the audience can't vote on the judges. I would have voted to send her on a little vacation to the Betty Ford Center before she ODs. :)

Stuff for Soap Operas

Once, there was a guy who liked me. Now, I never took this guy's interest seriously because he never really said anything apart from the little hints he dropped. Besides, another girl whom I considered a friend, was in love with him. In my mind, they were meant for each other. I had no doubt that they would, one day, end up together.

In the meantime, this girl and I got very close. I opened up to her about everything that was going on in my life, from family to man trouble - all of it! As the wheels of my life turned, I was ecstatic to know that hers finally turned out exactly as she had wished. After years of waiting, she finally married this guy - the man of her dreams. I won't say how, but I was very proud to have a very small hand in the turn of events in their lives ending up together.

Well, life went on and we all got busy. The calls eased up and we no longer hung out. I charged it to our tight schedules and lives taking on different paths. One day, I accidentally bumped into their little family and I was thrilled to see them! I was puzzled though to receive a warm but uncomfortable greeting from the guy, and truly bewildered to receive a pretty cold acknowledgment from my once close friend. My desire to catch-up waned and I politely made an exit.

The incident bothered me so I voiced my concern to another friend. It was very gently revealed to me that I have become anathema to my formerly close friend, and that I am the one that no one speaks of in her presence. Apparently, the mere mention of my name actually tips the balance of her world. I was aghast at the revelation as I don't think I ever did anything to her that should warrant such a reaction. It hurt me to find out that I was such an object of repulsion to one I really cared about.

I am gullible. I trust people easily and give them my friendship when they offer me theirs. I have no problem reciprocating when someone shows me warmth and honesty. Sadly, Ive learned that not all offers of friendship are sincere. I felt truly close to her, but now I can only surmise that she kept me close - not as her friend, but as her rival.

"Keep your friends close, but your enemies closer."

She is not and never was my enemy, but I guess she considered me hers.

New Beginnings

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Who Put the M before "Bye"?

There is no m in bye, and yet half the time I end a phone call, I hear the person on the other side of the line say, "Mmmbye." It's usually women who do it, and from what I can tell, it is those who were born or grew up here. What's with the m? Is it because they press their lips together in a smile before they say bye? Or is it like a regional accent the way Bostonians add Rs where there are none (idea - idears), to taking away Rs (park - pahk, yard - yahd) where there are? Whatever it is, it never fails to make me smile. It makes me wonder who started it and how it spread to a whole segment of the population. Any idears?

Around the World

Regaled with stories of my Mom's world travels when she was young, I had dreamed of traveling to different places ever since. Her tales awakened in me a keen interest in different cultures and in visiting as many countries as I could. The only problem was, I did not have a rich and doting father like my Mom did. My Dad was doting in many ways and he did well for himself, but he was not a rich man like my Grandfather. So it was not like he could send me on a world tour the way Lolo did with Mom. I often asked my Mom how I would be able to travel as she did. She often reminded me that even if my earthly Dad could not give me that, my Heavenly Dad could and that He will surely grant me my heart’s desire. I remember always responding with a sigh, hoping that she was right but nevertheless resigned to the fact that it may never happen. Me of little faith, huh?

Sure enough, I hit my twenties and found myself flying from one place to another for different reasons. Mom was right, God did make a way and my Dad was there to help me with some pocket money. In that decade, aside from traveling to different parts of the Philippines, I went to Hong Kong, China, United States, Singapore, Malaysia, Israel, Belgium, France, United Kingdom, the Netherlands, Germany and Indonesia. After I moved to the US, I’ve been fortunate to be able to visit some of its beautiful sites and cities, as well as see the Bahamas, Mexico and Canada. This summer, Hubby and I plan to hit the road again and head to Europe to see the sights and meet some friends. We are so looking forward to it!

We still have standing invitations to visit friends in Chile, Brazil, Sweden, Israel, New Zealand, Australia, Denmark, Singapore, Croatia and Scotland. I hope that we will have the time and finances to pull off a tour like that in the future. But right now, it remains a wish. This time though, I will neither sigh nor scoff. I have no doubt that if God wants us to do it, then it will definitely happen.

From His Heart

Hubby wrote this as he remembered his Dad's very recent battle with cancer. The battle that he lost just a few months ago.

A son may never say much, but a son never forgets.

Crumbling Fortress

Memories of a past from long, long ago
Start to race through my mind
I remember you bigger than life, towering over me
I could dangle from your arms
Hang on every branch from your tree of wisdom

You wince
A lifetime of visions and expectations fade away
Reverie evaporates with every flinch of pain
The disease has stolen everything
My dreams will never become memories

My heart used to beat with gladness as you reached out for me in a greeting
It now falls deep into my chest as you reach out in pain
Why does my chest feel like a bottomless pit?

My fortress has begun to crumble
My tree of wisdom has suddenly withered away
Has my heart fallen so deep that I no longer feel it?
You reach out for me, and I find my heart again
Has my heart stopped falling?

Snap Assumptions

Once, a friend and I were in a bus with a garbled, malfunctioning electronic signage. A passenger coming into the bus told the bus driver loudly that it all was Chinese to him. Upon seeing me, his face showed alarm and he quickly apologized. “Oh! I didn't mean to. I'm so sorry!”

My friend and I cracked up. He thought I was Chinese. I did not disabuse him of his assumption. We thought it was a hoot. I know to some people, all Asians look alike. I've been Japanese, Thai, but I've also been thought of as Mexican or Native American. Heck, the most farout was when an Italian guy asked me once, "Italiana?!"

When I tell people my name, some smile and quickly ask, “¿Como está?”

When I say I work for a bank, they inquire, “Are you a teller?”

If my past work in Disney comes up, the inevitable question is, “Were you a character?”

When they find out I am from Manila and that I only moved to the US six years ago, I get “Is your husband in the military?”

I think it's cute when people make snap assumptions. It always leads to a great conversation. :)

Tired of Theo

Bostonians need to get a life. That goes for the whole state of Massachusetts, as well. Every time I turn on the television and watch the local news, they’re talking about Theo Epstein and the Boston Red Sox. The Red Sox has already broken the curse and won the World Series. Yay! Yes, Theo Epstein is partly responsible for it. Great! But, my gosh, to hear his name every single day speculating whether he’s going to be Red Sox manager again or not, or what his title is going to be, not only during all the newscasts throughout the day but during newsbreaks too – it is getting ridiculous. I’m sure even he is tired of hearing about how he played the guitar, wore a gorilla suit or picked his nose.

Please, there are more important things in this world than baseball, the World Series, and the supposed manager that has the Midas’ touch to win it. There’s a whole world out there full of people in serious situations that need real attention – more than the sports personas, television and movie stars already basking in the sometimes undeserved fame and wealth we obsessed fans have afforded them.

If we devote even one-eighth of the time we spend obsessing over these people to helping out in some worthy cause, the world would be so much better. Heck, If we devote a small fraction of that time in self-evaluation and improvement, then we wouldn’t need these supposed heroes and role models to look up to, because our self-esteem would be healthy enough to only look up to people whose contributions really make a meaningful difference in people’s lives.

I mean – how many people really cared if Brad Pitt called Jennifer Aniston to tell her about Angelina Jolie’s pregnancy before the announcement was made? Come on, people. Enough already.

Sure, we need some entertainment in our lives. It shouldn’t take over our whole lives though. There are other, more important things to think about.

--oOo--

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Girl With A Lost Earring

I was on my hands and knees, looking at every inch of the floor under my desk hoping to see a little sparkle that would catch my eye. "It's time to go! We'll look for it when we get back from work," said Hubby. Reluctantly, I stood up and walked out the door to go to work.

Yesterday morning, I lost one of a pair of diamond stud earrings. The previous night, as is my routine right after I get home, I took all my jewelry off -- rings, necklace and earrings -- and placed them on top of my desk in front of my computer monitor. As I got ready yesterday, I realized that I was missing an earring.

I lost one of a pair of pearl earrings before. I put it on a counter in the kitchen while I cooked. It was gone by the time I was done. I searched high and low, cleaned, dusted but came up empty-handed. I was afraid that the diamond stud will disappear as mysteriously as the pearl one did.

Someone suggested I dry mop, another said I should vacuum and cover the vacuum opening with a nylon stocking. Both were great ideas, but before I did all that, Hubby suggested I go through the trash can under my desk. I was skeptical since my trash has a swivel cover, which makes it almost impossible for anything to go into it unless I opened it. Nevertheless, I did just that.

I took a plastic bag and started transferring each discard, piece by piece, after intense scrutiny. Torn receipts, candy wrappers, tissues, junk mail, plastic wrappers and cases of things we've purchased, pistachio nut shells -- I went through all of it starting with the biggest pieces. I got more and more discouraged as I neared the bottom. I was thinking that if it fell in accidentally, it surely would have been caught by the bigger pieces of trash that were on top. But I carried on, praying quietly that I would find it. I got to the bottom with nothing left but the pistachio nut shells. I almost gave up as I picked up and looked at the shells, one by one. "Surely, I would have seen it by now," I thought. Determined to be thorough and go through the last 15 shells that were there, I picked up a couple more and -- lo and behold -- hidden under was my earring. How the heck it got there, I do not know. I guess at that particular moment, in one of the few times the swivel cover was up for a second, it somehow fell in. What are the chances? It doesn't matter now, I am just happy I found it, happy enough to blog about it.

Today, I got home and took off all my jewelry and, as usual, put them in front of my monitor. This time though, I put them all in a white ceramic pill box. One that's easy to spot in a dark place and is sure to create a ruckus if it falls.

White on White

Like everyone else, we just had a crazy holiday season. That's the reason why this blog's decor has been white on white in the last several days.

In the last three weekends, we went from skiing in New Hampshire, to Christmas eve in Massachussetts, to New Year's eve in Florida, and to an Orthodox Christmas dinner in New York. And we did not fly, we drove. Hubby and I enjoy driving a lot. We have in each other, a captive audience, when we're in the car together for hours talking about anything and everything. We had a lot of fun but my mind and body is still recovering from it all.

I have been slow in responding to emails, text messages, phone calls and I couldn't really blog. A thousand little thoughts are racing through my mind but I just can't seem to focus on any one topic to write about. I think it's my brain's way of relaxing and recharging. It just seems that it really doesn't want to ponder much on anything right now, no matter how strongly I feel about it. It's almost like all the frantic activities kicked up the thoughts in my mind like a huge cloud dust. As soon as it settles, I think I'll be all set to go again.

Until then, I hope everyone's having a good and meaningful start to the New Year.

Lightheaded

"Take it off. Take it all off!" That's what I said to the hairdresser the other day when I went in for a drastic haircut.

For the second time, I have refrained from having my hair trimmed in the last couple of years so I could reach the 10-inches minimum length for Locks of Love. Locks of Love is a non-profit organization that makes hairpieces for children who have long term medical conditions that cause hair loss. Hairpieces are very expensive and a lot of the parents of these children, who are already burdened with huge medical bills, cannot afford to buy expensive wigs for their child.

When the hairdresser found out that I was going to do with my hair, she whipped out her checkbook and wrote them a check for $40. She asked me to enclose it in the same envelope with the braid that I was sending. I was touched at how she jumped to contribute. I just wished she was touched enough to not charge me for my haircut. Hehe! Just kidding!

I now sport a bob and my head feels much lighter after over a year of wearing it long. My step is lighter too knowing that some child is going to have a wig that they so need, to not be teased by their peers for being bald.

I blog about this not to brag, but hopefully, to inspire some people to think about donating hair or money so a child' s already serious medical condition can be assuaged by not having to bear the stares of people for not having a head full of hair.

If you are so moved, their website has all the instructions on how to donate. Please take some time to drop by.

I hope you all had a great Christmas. Happy New Year to everyone!

Walking on Water

Today, we walked on water -- the frozen waters of the lake in the Boston Public Gardens, that is.

As is our routine on Sundays after church, we take a walk from the Boston Commons, through the Public Gardens on our way to Newbury Street. It was a cold day so we were not doing our usual slow and leisurely pace. I told Hubby that we could not linger in the Gardens for random photos, as we normally do. But then we saw the lake -- completely frozen over. To me, it looked magical. Like the few other people that were there, we "waded" in. We just couldn't resist.

The Lake at the Boston Public Garden

A rare pose from Hubby

Watching and 'Wading'

A Lab and His Master Playing

We watched some parents play with their kids on the ice, a couple of guys brought their iceskates, hockey sticks and puck and started a game, a golden retriever was running, slipping and sliding with his master and three teenagers just being silly and having a snowball fight. We could hardly tear ourselves away from the idyllic scene. But alas, we had some Christmas shopping to do. So before long, we had to make our way to Newbury Street. Of course, Hubby, being shutter-happy as he is, took some more pictures along the way.

It was a perfect winter day in Boston.

Hancock Tower and Trinity Church at Twilight

A Bird resting on a tree branch at Old South Church, Boylston cor. Darmouth Streets

Integrity

I don't think any word has figured as much in our conversations this year. Hubby and I continually discuss about how less and less people seem to have integrity these days. Gossip is a very lucrative business, tardiness is fashionable, running away from financial obligations is more commonplace, lying at the drop of a hat to achieve an end - I can go on and on. So when I read a newspiece in CNN that says the word Integrity is the most frequently looked up word in the Merriam-Webster website this year, I was surprised. It made me wonder if it's because people do not know what it means or if it's because they are just concerned about retaining its definition in their minds.

in·teg·ri·ty
n.
1. Steadfast adherence to a strict moral or ethical code.
2. The state of being unimpaired; soundness.
3. The quality or condition of being whole or undivided; complete

Lying politicians, molesting ministers and teachers, easily bribed law enforcers, drugged out sportsmen, philandering movie/tv stars are the headliners of this year. We are inundated with this kind of news every single day.

It's no wonder people have to look up the meaning of this word. It doesn't seem like those who lead our society are great examples of it. Sad.

The Making of a Sports Fan?

I'm not much of a sports fan, but there were a few times I sat in front of the television to see a championship game – between Orlando Magic and the Houston Rockets, World Series games between the Red Sox and the Cardinals, and the first Superbowl win of the New England Patriots. I've seen how much fun people seem to have during games, be it football, basketball or baseball. Heck, I have fun just watching them have fun on TV, so I have always wondered how it would be like to be part of the rowdy crowd.

Last Friday, I stopped wondering. We were given Premiere Club seats to the game between the Boston Celtics and the Chicago Bulls. The view was perfect! You could see every single inch of the court, there was a bit more legroom and someone took orders for food so we didn't have to line up at the concession stands. It was a pretty cozy set-up!

It's amazing how Americans take fun and entertainment to the next level. Aside from the usual crowd-inciting billboard antics, music, light-play and commentator during the play, we got to see a man propose to his girlfriend, a local doctor/clown honored for his charity work, the most awesome little girls' dance troupe do a couple of streetdance numbers, cheerleaders and their death-defying stunts and an adorable dog race during half-time.

The party atmosphere that I had seen before only on television, enveloped me and I was cheering, screaming, stuffing my face like everyone else before long. The crowd reactions, whether to referee calls, missed or successful baskets, were so unified, it was palpable. So was the disappointment when the home team lost by four points to the Bulls. It was a great game though. The teams kept us guessing on who would win until the last 30 seconds.

Needless to say, I had a blast. And now I understand why people keep going back. I certainly would!

On Saturday, I received a call from my neighbor. She asked, "I have great seats to the Patriots Game tomorrow, would you like to go?!"

Methinks New England is trying to make a sports fan out of me.

--oOo--

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Makin' My List...

...and checkin' it twice. Egad! We have 26 people so far, and that's just M's family! Counting my family and some friends, that is a long enough list for cards and gifts guaranteed to drive anyone crazy in an already hectic holiday season. We do have some of the gifts already but we are so very far from done. We usually do our Christmas shopping all throughout the year. By Thanksgiving, we have all the cards ready to be mailed out and the gifts ready for wrapping. We do this to keep our sanity intact—and our budget. Buying a couple of items each month does not make much of a dent as opposed to getting everything in December. Buying all the gifts then and having to show up wherever the party might be can prove to be an extremely costly affair. You see, M’s family likes to get together for the holidays. So if the party ends up being in a state other than Massachusetts, it’s another expense to factor in.

With that to consider, we have to find creative and frugal ways to get the perfect gifts. Perfect -- meaning it matches the giftee’s personality without breaking our bank. That’s why our hunt for those gifts start right after Christmas. When we see items that are reasonably priced and ideal for someone whom we know will be on our list, we snatch it up immediately. When we see storefronts that have the sign "SALE", we check out their stuff. We also hit online stores like Smartbargains, Overstock, Amazon, Victoria’s Secret and peruse their bargain bins. We’ve been pleasantly surprised at the things that they had on sale before, and they usually offer free shipping to boot!

It's always a great challenge to complete our long Christmas list. The hunt, braving the crowds, long lines at the cash register, the ever-shrinking balance in our bank account--just thinking of these things that make us pray for God's strength and provision as this retail-driven season approaches.

Okay, I gotta stop prattling. We have some shopping to do!!!

Year 5

M and I just celebrated Year 5. It's amazing how fast time flies when you are having loads of fun. Of course, it wasn't always easy, especially the first couple of years. It was a time of adjustment -- two cultures, two independent mindsets, two different upbringings, in one living space. It wasn't always "Home, Sweet, Home." At times, it was a battleground of wills. Through it all, we have learned not how to stop fighting, but how to fight constructively.

He has let me know, in no uncertain terms, that emotional manipulation -- women's usual primary weapon -- through words and actions (or inaction) will never work on him. He hates it with a passion. He appreciates straight and honest talk, in a calm manner and responds better to that. And I've let him know that his propensity to not talk about things may buy him some time, but will not make me back down. I have learned to try and say things plainly sans emotionalism, exaggeration or manipulation. He is learning to not hesitate to say what he thinks and feels as it will not elicit any hysteria from me (or so I hope).

Proverbs 27:17 says, "As iron sharpens iron, so one man sharpens another." We do continue to sharpen each other. Some times are easier than others, but I'm glad it's no longer a sharpening of claws when we butt heads.

One morning, our daily reading together said, "A Happy Marriage consists of two forgivers." We looked at each other and started chuckling. We both have forgiven each other for many, many things. And being the way we both are, we know we will have to be doing more forgiving in the years to come.

His, Hers & Theirs: Our Family

Ours was never the regular family. We were pretty modern by the standards of Philippine society at that time. Even as a young child, I knew our family was different from a lot of the others. Why? My parents have the "His", "Hers" and "Theirs" --- kids, that is. That was unusual. Both parents were married before and had children with their first spouses. But even if the fact is that 3 of my 5 brothers are half-brothers, I never thought of them as such. I never used "His", "Hers" and "Theirs" as a description, unless we needed to get absolutely technical about the whole thing. I was never fazed by it. I actually liked the fact that we were not like the other families. And despite our differences, we really valued each other. It taught me early on that my self-esteem did not depend on conforming and being like everyone else. It opened my mind to possibilities outside what our hypocritical society dictated.

Our parents were really practical in their approach with us too. We weren't brought up on superstitions, "moo-moo", folk beliefs, Santa Claus, tooth fairies, etc. -- those were things we picked up from our nannies and some friends. If we asked our parents about it, they did not hesitate to tell us the truth. They never used those things to scare or manipulate us into doing things. Those were done by our maids! "The moo-moo will get you if you don't..." I guess our parents believed that respect should be your only motivation in doing something, and asking others to do something for you.

Our fights were settled in the same manner. Each child got their chance to be heard in our parents' "court", and judgement was passed. If we were deemed to be at fault, we had to take our punishment without any complaints, or risked being punished even further. The one at fault HAD to apologize specifically for what they did wrong. Any retaliation was not treated lightly. Excuses and rationalizations weren't tolerated. In fact, we risked getting even more punishment if we resorted to it. That formula seemed to work with us because by a certain age, there were no bickerings and petty fights anymore. If we had conflict, we discussed it openly and tried to resolve it. If we couldn't, we just agreed to disagree and closed the topic unless we agreed to bring it up again.

In the short time that my parents were together, I think they did a pretty darn good job of parenting. We thrived in the way they disciplined us, and we loved and respected them for it. Too bad, it didn't last forever. And even then, we were told the truth with no sugar-coating. I appreciated that, because it gave me a chance to come to terms with the truth, the truth that life is imperfect. Be it as a victim of circumstance or a consequence of a stupid thing I did, I have to deal with life's difficulties as they come along.

My parents' time together was short, but the lessons they have taught linger. I hope to learn by their great example, as well as by their monumental mistakes. They never pretended to be perfect nor demanded perfection from us. The sincerity and strength they showed through their human frailty is the example I will always carry with me.

Thinking the Worst

I have found that thinking the worst of people and situations just makes one extremely unhappy and bitter. I'm glad there were enough events in my life when I made the mistake of doing that and it turned out I was wrong. I started to train myself to stop doing it because of how miserable it made me feel, and how it proved to be baseless at times.

Many times, thinking the worst serves no purpose. You start treating people with suspicion which definitely wins you no love and loyalty. Thinking the worst does not speak well of the thinker, either. Ever heard of the saying, "Thinkers are the doers?" I believe that a lot of times, the thinker just projects the thing they would do or say to the other person, if the situation was reversed. We all do glean from our own tendencies and experience.

Sure, there are times when the suspicion has basis given the track record of some people you deal with. In that case, then it may be warranted. "Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice, shame on me." I agree with that, although it's difficult for me to live it. I believe in giving people a second chance, giving them the benefit of the doubt. Why? Because I was given the same chance before, and it has built in me the desire to try and do the right thing. I've been told countless times that I am naïve. I think my naïveté will forever remain. I really believe that people will do the right thing if given another chance. And the few that do, are worth those that disappoint me again and again.

Careful The Things You Say

Has anyone ever told you something and then completely deny it later on when it happens to come up in a future conversation? It's the most annoying thing, to say the least. I usually do not make it an issue. I just try to convince myself that I probably misheard and shrug it off. But there are instances when no matter how much I tell myself that I probably heard wrong, the things said were stuff I never would have known if it wasn't told to me, or the empathy and frustration I felt was so strong that even if I can't exactly recall word-for-word what was said, I remember the emotion it evoked in me. There was simply no way my reaction was in error, especially when the empathy I showed was much appreciated by the "storyteller".

"People might forget what you said, people might forget what you did, but people will never forget how you made them feel."

When I read that quote from Maya Angelou, it just hit home. I realized that your ears and mind may fail you sometimes, but body memory will not. Our body remembers its reactions to all situations. When similar situations arise in the future, you get this gut feeling. Some call it instinct, some call it intuition.

It bothers me when people take me for a fool and deny flat to my face whatever they told me earlier. Yes, sometimes I do mishear things, but there are times I am certain. What's wrong with just admitting that what was said before was inaccurate? I actually would respect that more.

If you're one of those who are in the habit of saying suff and denying it later on, people are not as dense as you think they are. Sometimes they just choose to be non-confrontational. It doesn't gain you any respect though by hoping to make them feel that they've just lost their faculties. The only thing that was lost was probably their trust in you.

Black Hole

I was happily typing away my thoughts just a few minutes ago, and got about three paragraphs' worth of words. I reviewed and proofread what I wrote. After a few corrections and revisions, I finally found it to be blog-worthy. I press the publish button and switched to another window to surf as it was publishing. I go back to the previous window to find the words "Page Cannot Be Displayed". Noooooooooooooo! Arrrrrrrgggggggghhhhhhh! I tried refreshing, it didn't work. I pressed the "back" button, nothing happened. Everything I wrote just disappeared into the dreaded internet black hole, never to be retrieved again. Don't you just HATE it when that happens?!?!

Our Anniversary Issue Is Online!

Please check out the anniversary issue of PINOYexpats. Melissa's brainchild is a year old and thriving beautifully with her at the helm. I'm glad to be associated with it. :)

The theme for the anniversary issue is citizenship. Most of you know that I'm going through the steps of naturalization. You will find my thoughts about it under the worldPINOYS section.

Thank you for stopping by!

Being Right and Being Wise

My father once told me, “Being always right is not as important as being wise.” He said that in my life, I will find myself in situations where I know I am right, but that I should have the wisdom to know when to assert the fact. “Having the last say does not necessarily mean that you’ve won the argument,” was another thing. Both statements stuck with me like glue. I am learning, through years of falling flat on my face and putting my foot in my mouth, to choose my battles -- to know when and in what circumstance to put in my $0.02 worth, and when I am just wasting my breath.

I have come across so many seemingly highly intelligent people that just do not have the wisdom and the sensitivity to rein in their tongues. It makes me think that their self-esteem is tied in to the number of words that they utter, whether they believe in what they’re saying or not. The haughty attitude and tone that accompany their statements just add to the aural delight. I don’t think they clue in to the fact that the more they voice out their thoughts in that manner, the less it means to anyone else who has to hear it all the time. What’s sad is, by the time they’re actually saying something that is worth some thought, people have probably stopped listening.

Any statement that comes from such people, I am learning to just shrug off. Venting in any way makes them happy, ignoring them keeps me happy. We’re all happy! After all, that’s what’s important, n’est-ce pas?

Finally Seeing Niagara

Hubby and I got to hit two birds with one stone. We wanted to do was break-in the new car, and we also wanted to go see Niagara Falls before it got too cold. We had been putting it off long enough. So last weekend, we decided to drive to the Canadian border town and have a look around.

The sight of the Falls was breathtaking. There's nothing like seeing something so much greater than us. It truly puts the small stuff in our lives in perspective. It just emphasized to me the evanescence of our circumstances, problems and lives. How the little things that we can be so consumed about are nothing in the light of something that represents a measure of eternity. That was what the Falls signified to me despite the fact that is it "younger" than than many of the natural wonders of our world. It was awesome in its display of power and magnitude. It wasn't quite like seeing the Grand Canyon, but it came pretty close.

We played tourists and got the city's Adventure Pass that allowed us unlimited access to the PeopleMover, which is the bus that brings people from one tourist spot to another. We first went into the Journey Behind the Falls which is a viewing deck halfway down, right next to the falls. It was connected by a tunnel to two openings that allow you to view the Falls from behind.

Our next stop was something that one just has to do when visiting Niagara Falls, going on the Maid of the Mist. It's the boat that brings tourists as close to the Falls as possible. The winds were in our favor and we didn't get as soaked as the ones that went before and after us. I was thankful since the air was quite chilly as it was.

We then had lunch at the Skylon Tower. It's a 55-storey (?) tower that has a window elevator that shoots you up to the restaurant and viewing deck above. A bit pricey for what they had to serve, but I guess they factor in the spectacular view in your bill, more than anything. There's nothing quite like viewing the Earth from above.

The Butterfly Conservatory was a huge greenhouse with 2,000 butterflies flying around freely. Shutter-happy Hubby had quite a heyday shooting the lovely little creatures who landed wherever they pleased. In my case, it was my collar and the lens of the camera. The greenhouse simulated a warm, tropical climate with lots of flowers and plants. They had feeding stations where you can watch them feed, as well as a "birthing station" where they had rows and rows of cocoons at their different stages. At the bottom, there were a number of newly born butterflies that were perched at the little holes in the glass casing, ready to fly out into the greenhouse.

In the evening, we took a stroll along the Falls to see the lights show. The lights are on from 7:00 to 11:00 pm and bathes both the American and the Canadian Falls in different colors. It was pretty cool. We waited for the fireworks show that never came. It usually happened every Friday and Sunday night at 10:00 pm at the American Falls, from the start of summer to a certain date in October. We were erroneously informed that it was still going on. Nevertheless, we still had fun just drinking in the sight as we strolled the riverbanks that evening.

As with most good time, it had to end. We found ourselves driving back to rain-soaked Boston sooner than we really wanted. But I must say that the long drive to and fro in three days was totally worth it. It's another special memory for us. :)

To Trust A Boston Police Officer...

Today, after dropping hubby off in UMass, I drove to Chinatown to meet an old friend for lunch. As I went around for the third time looking for parking, I noticed a small street with some vacant spaces. I went around once more and before I got to the street, I pulled over beside a police cruiser and asked the officer inside if it was okay to park there and if it was a tow-away zone, just to be sure. He responded, "If there's a space there, then take it!" So I parked there, happy at the thought that I did not have to pay $5.00 per half an hour in some parking garage. After my leisurely lunch at Penang and some dessert at the Cheesecake Factory, I got back to the car only to find something orange stuck to my windsheild. Lo and behold, it was a $55.00 parking ticket!

I was naive to take the word of a Boston Police Officer. I guess he was right. I didn't get towed. He just failed to tell me that I could get a big fat ticket!!! My husband always said that I trusted people too much. Oh, well. An expensive lesson for me. One that I surely won't forget next time I try to park in Boston.

Luxury With Heart

"So sense and sensibility won over beauty and luxury!" That was what a friend said when I told him that Hubby and I took home the new 2005 Honda Accord Hybrid. He knew it was a toss up between that and the Infiniti G35, which we had been lusting for in the last couple of years. We compared the two in fuel consumption, luxury options, cost of maintenance, reputation and reliability. We decided that even if it lost on looks, the trusty Honda Accord Hybrid fits our needs better in the long run, than the oh-so-sexy Infiniti G35. The fact that the Accord has been in Car & Driver's 10 best for an unprecedented 19 years, compared to Infiniti's 2 years, helped. And now with the rumors circulating that Hurrican Rita may cause gas prices to go up yet again, we know we made the right choice.

People say that the fuel savings you get on the Hybrid does not make up for paying premium for the car. We really did not get it for that reason. We got it, not only to support and encourage this alternative technology, but to have peace of mind in the knowledge that luxurious does not necessarily mean heartless. One can have a nice, comfortable, powerful car and still be guzzling less gas and spewing less emissions into our air. We can have our fun without sticking it to Mother Earth or increasing our dependence on Mid-East oil. It's so much fun to drive that Hubby and I playfully bicker as to who gets the wheel everytime we go out. We really liked the Accord from the beginning, but now that we own one, we are really loving it!

--oOo--

We have just launched our latest PINOYexpats issue on food and the Filipinos' love for it. Do stop by and visit!

On Being Just

"Never look for righteousness in the other person, but never cease to be righteous yourself. We are always looking for justice, yet the essence of the teaching of the Sermon on the Mount is— Never look for justice, but never cease to give it."

-Oswald Chambers, My Utmost For His Highest

That was the last sentence in my reading during one of my "quiet moments" several weeks ago. I needed that to inspire me because a lot of times, I find myself disheartened when people do not act in the way that is fair. Being my optimistic and naive self, I believe that everyone has an inner sense of fairness. But I have been disappointed to find out otherwise in many of my day-to-day dealings.

In a sermon I heard long ago, the Pastor said that the main causes of many a conflict are failed expectations and blocked goals. When someone acts contrary to how you expect them to act, or is an obstacle toward a goal that you have set, we may feel anger and disappointment. And that can lead to deep, unspoken resentments and conflicts, if there is no open communication.

It resounds in me because it really upsets me when people expect others to play fair, even if they themselves are not willing to. I always remind myself that each person is different, shaped by the values that we were taught and the kind of discipline, or non-discipline, we received. So people will not always act or react in the way we expect them to. I am not guiltless in this for I am ahead of the game when it comes to acting and reacting in many selfish ways. Just ask my husband! :) Thank God, I have him to remind me in a loving way when I do. He never says much. He just gently touches me and whispers, "Relax." He manages to deflate the pride and selfish indignation I feel by that simple action. It is great that he's there to remind me that even if everyone else is acting foolish, I have the choice to not act in the same way.

It's Okay To Cry

I find it amusing that after so many recent studies on human behavior, some people still think that they show themselves as strong just because they don't show grief or shed a tear during a difficult time.

I believe it actually takes more courage and maturity to show vulnerability and face the emotion we feel at a particular moment. Glossing it over and faking peppiness are telltale signs of insecurity and being emotionally crippled. The great fear of appearing weak precludes any show of sentiment or feeling, lest others see a chink in the armor.

In some respect, it is true. Holding back our emotion does show some strength. But strutting about to display it, especially when others are mourning, may show a lack of wisdom and sensitivity.

It's okay to cry, really. And if you just don't feel the grief, then it would be nice to show some respect to those who do.

Gone Home

FIL passed away today at 2:30 am after a 15-year bout with cancer. He is no longer bound by an earthly, imperfect body. He is now at rest in the arms of God whom he loved so much.

We are now headed to Florida to bury him at his chosen final resting place. It will be a difficult but necessary time to mourn our loss, and celebrate his life.

Thanks to all those who have prayed with us throughout this time.

A Difficult Week

Hubby and I have had a very draining week. FIL, who suffers from cancer, developed an infection and we had to rush him to the hospital. We got there at 10:30 pm and did not get out of there until 1 pm the next day, having spent the night at the emergency room and getting him admitted to a room. We spent the rest of the week going after work, every evening to visit and also bring food to MIL, as well as to my SIL, who was visiting from Florida at that time with her two daughters. They spent their days in the hospital. My two other SILs, who are his usual caretakers, were taking a much needed vacation when it happened. It was good for them to have a break, as well as give us a chance to be able to contribute a bit more of our time to FIL's care. They tried not to worry too much as we took over, and we just kept them updated on his condition.

After four days in the hospital, FIL showed improvement and was able to speak more, eat and sit up again. So yesterday, he was discharged and he is now back home with my SILs who have returned from their short vacation. We all breathed a sigh of relief as yet one more health hiccup is overcome.

It is so hard to see a loved one in pain. Although there is something uplifting, however sad, about seeing love in action when you witness individuals being strong and brave, and doing everything they can to ease the suffering of their loved one.

What Would You Do?

If you win the lottery, what would you do? This was a discussion that Hubby and I had once. This article made me think on it more.

Me? I would keep my mouth shut. There are already enough people in the world who try to get you to spend your money on them in one way or another. Whether your earnings are little, some or a lot, there are those that just do not value the amount of hard work you do to earn your money. People sometimes take on an attitude that it is their right to have you spend on them because, really, they need it more than you do! Imagine if they find out that you have a windfall? The more they will feel entitled to it. Whatever assistance you try to extend, will probably be never enough anyway. It is amazing how ungrateful the people you continually help become. That’s why I always try to keep in check my impulses on generosity. It is not because I’m very greedy or unwilling to share. I already do my little bit of helping here and there, and just might increase a little bit more if I had more to give. I believe that helping too much is not good either. Aside from taking your constant help for granted, there are lessons that the person you are helping might miss if they don't go through their struggle.

I am reminded of that story when someone, out of kindness, “helped” a new-born butterfly break out of its cocoon by slicing it open. The butterfly came out with a swollen body and shriveled wings. It was never able to fly. It is the struggle out of the cocoon that actually helps it to strengthen its body and allows it to spread its wings and fly. The same goes for us. I believe there’s a valuable lesson wrapped in every hardship that we go through. It’s up to us to either be bitter about it or to meet it head-on and learn as much as we can from it. If someone takes it away, we will never learn the lesson. Trials enrich our souls far better than money can enrich us financially. Nothing hones character more than adversity.

So we would do good to be wise in how we offer “help”. Yes, it's nice to get the credit and the accolade of being known as helpful and generous. I think it can become selfish because what we sometimes do is not really helping, just enabling. Enabling in a way that people remain in their stunted state, while we glory and pat ourselves in the back for being a kind and magnanimous human being.

I think God, in His infinite wisdom, has not allowed me to win the lottery. Well, it doesn’t help that I don’t really buy tickets! But if I ever do, people in really dire straits or in life and death situations will probably get help... as anonymously as I possibly could give it. That way they can put their faith in God and how He works through people, not in people or money. I don't think I will let anyone around me ever know of my windfall, save for Hubby. I think it's just much better that way, don't you think?

A Tokaya in Boston

A couple of weeks ago, I went to dinner with someone I had met through this blog. She is a namesake of mine, Filipino, a University of the Philippines alumnus, and lives in Boston, as well. With those similarities, how can we not attempt to meet in person, right? It started out when she left comments here. We started corresponding by email semi-regularly after that. I say semi-regularly because the woman has a crazy schedule! MIT is surely squeezing every drop they can out of her before they let her go.

The first time I met her was when she came to watch the show I did a few months back. We were able to chat a bit, but there were just too many people milling about to even start a real conversation. This time, we really got to sit down and probe minds. I found that we were similar in many, many ways, except in one thing. She definitely has more brains than me! She is working on her thesis, and will soon be graduating with a PhD in Chemistry from MIT. She explained to me what she does, it just went completely over my head though. :)

After a very interesting and entertaining dinner, we went around the shops in Faneuil Hall, just to do what women love to do together, chat and browse the sales. It was nice to be able to walk around with a fellow pinay, speaking Tagalog, and sharing that ridiculous pinoy sense of humor. It's just too bad that she's moving away to Indiana after her graduation. But these days, the internet can help maintain friendships that would otherwise be lost if we depended on what we now consider archaic modes of communication, the phone (those phone bills!) and snail mail. That's how I have kept in touch with all my family and friends back home, and it's also how I have met a few wonderful people such as this Tokaya of mine. The internet is an amazing thing, isn't it?

A C. S. Lewis Weekend

I'm having a Clive Staples Lewis weekend. I am listening to the musical, "The Lion, The Witch and the Wardrobe" that my friend, Lito composed and Trumpets put up in the Philippines for the first time in 1998. The musical is based on the C. S. Lewis story from the Chronicles of Narnia. I dug up my CD and listened to it again with fresh ears. I have always thought the music was beautiful, but could have been biased since it was my friend's creation and a Trumpets production. Listening to it now after seven years, and its music still manages to enthrall me. It also brought back so many memories for me of rehearsing and doing the musical, as well as the late hours we spent in the studio recording the CD. It was such a good musical that I hope other people get the chance to see and enjoy it. I'm praying that a producer will be interested to put up the musical here. It's timely since Disney's coming out with the movie version this December. I think doing the musical sometime after that would be a great idea.

Tumnus and Lucy in Narnia

The Lion, The Witch and the Wardrobe

A Trumpets Production, Manila, Philippines

Another C. S. Lewis thing I am into this weekend is his book, The Screwtape Letters. He shows the same sublte but great command of biblical truths which he did in The Lion, The Witch and the Wardrobe, as well as an insight into the psyche of one whose business is manipulation and temptation. He starts off by saying, "There are two equal and opposite errors into which our race can fall about the devils. One is to disbelieve in their existence. The other, is to believe, and to feel an excessive and unhealthy interest in them. They themselves are equally pleased by both errors and hail a materialist or a magician with the same delight." Its protagonists are two demons, Wormwood and his uncle, Screwtape. Through letters, Screwtape strives to teach Wormwood how to exploit all the weaknesses of this "foolish two-legged animals" called humans and keep their mind on everything except God. I find Screwtape's assessment of man as so true that it has me burst out laughing many times.

I wish I had an ounce of the talent and sense of C. S. Lewis, or the musical abilities of my friend, Lito. I often wonder how people can be so talented. And even more amazing that talent, when used for good, can affect lives in such a positive manner. C. S. Lewis died seven years before I was born, and here I am still enjoying and learning from his gifts. I have no doubt that Lito is going to leave the same kind of legacy somehow, someday. The good that we do with the talent that God gives us will always leave an imprint in someone's heart.