Lightheaded

"Take it off. Take it all off!" That's what I said to the hairdresser the other day when I went in for a drastic haircut.

For the second time, I have refrained from having my hair trimmed in the last couple of years so I could reach the 10-inches minimum length for Locks of Love. Locks of Love is a non-profit organization that makes hairpieces for children who have long term medical conditions that cause hair loss. Hairpieces are very expensive and a lot of the parents of these children, who are already burdened with huge medical bills, cannot afford to buy expensive wigs for their child.

When the hairdresser found out that I was going to do with my hair, she whipped out her checkbook and wrote them a check for $40. She asked me to enclose it in the same envelope with the braid that I was sending. I was touched at how she jumped to contribute. I just wished she was touched enough to not charge me for my haircut. Hehe! Just kidding!

I now sport a bob and my head feels much lighter after over a year of wearing it long. My step is lighter too knowing that some child is going to have a wig that they so need, to not be teased by their peers for being bald.

I blog about this not to brag, but hopefully, to inspire some people to think about donating hair or money so a child' s already serious medical condition can be assuaged by not having to bear the stares of people for not having a head full of hair.

If you are so moved, their website has all the instructions on how to donate. Please take some time to drop by.

I hope you all had a great Christmas. Happy New Year to everyone!

Walking on Water

Today, we walked on water -- the frozen waters of the lake in the Boston Public Gardens, that is.

As is our routine on Sundays after church, we take a walk from the Boston Commons, through the Public Gardens on our way to Newbury Street. It was a cold day so we were not doing our usual slow and leisurely pace. I told Hubby that we could not linger in the Gardens for random photos, as we normally do. But then we saw the lake -- completely frozen over. To me, it looked magical. Like the few other people that were there, we "waded" in. We just couldn't resist.

The Lake at the Boston Public Garden

A rare pose from Hubby

Watching and 'Wading'

A Lab and His Master Playing

We watched some parents play with their kids on the ice, a couple of guys brought their iceskates, hockey sticks and puck and started a game, a golden retriever was running, slipping and sliding with his master and three teenagers just being silly and having a snowball fight. We could hardly tear ourselves away from the idyllic scene. But alas, we had some Christmas shopping to do. So before long, we had to make our way to Newbury Street. Of course, Hubby, being shutter-happy as he is, took some more pictures along the way.

It was a perfect winter day in Boston.

Hancock Tower and Trinity Church at Twilight

A Bird resting on a tree branch at Old South Church, Boylston cor. Darmouth Streets

Integrity

I don't think any word has figured as much in our conversations this year. Hubby and I continually discuss about how less and less people seem to have integrity these days. Gossip is a very lucrative business, tardiness is fashionable, running away from financial obligations is more commonplace, lying at the drop of a hat to achieve an end - I can go on and on. So when I read a newspiece in CNN that says the word Integrity is the most frequently looked up word in the Merriam-Webster website this year, I was surprised. It made me wonder if it's because people do not know what it means or if it's because they are just concerned about retaining its definition in their minds.

in·teg·ri·ty
n.
1. Steadfast adherence to a strict moral or ethical code.
2. The state of being unimpaired; soundness.
3. The quality or condition of being whole or undivided; complete

Lying politicians, molesting ministers and teachers, easily bribed law enforcers, drugged out sportsmen, philandering movie/tv stars are the headliners of this year. We are inundated with this kind of news every single day.

It's no wonder people have to look up the meaning of this word. It doesn't seem like those who lead our society are great examples of it. Sad.

The Making of a Sports Fan?

I'm not much of a sports fan, but there were a few times I sat in front of the television to see a championship game – between Orlando Magic and the Houston Rockets, World Series games between the Red Sox and the Cardinals, and the first Superbowl win of the New England Patriots. I've seen how much fun people seem to have during games, be it football, basketball or baseball. Heck, I have fun just watching them have fun on TV, so I have always wondered how it would be like to be part of the rowdy crowd.

Last Friday, I stopped wondering. We were given Premiere Club seats to the game between the Boston Celtics and the Chicago Bulls. The view was perfect! You could see every single inch of the court, there was a bit more legroom and someone took orders for food so we didn't have to line up at the concession stands. It was a pretty cozy set-up!

It's amazing how Americans take fun and entertainment to the next level. Aside from the usual crowd-inciting billboard antics, music, light-play and commentator during the play, we got to see a man propose to his girlfriend, a local doctor/clown honored for his charity work, the most awesome little girls' dance troupe do a couple of streetdance numbers, cheerleaders and their death-defying stunts and an adorable dog race during half-time.

The party atmosphere that I had seen before only on television, enveloped me and I was cheering, screaming, stuffing my face like everyone else before long. The crowd reactions, whether to referee calls, missed or successful baskets, were so unified, it was palpable. So was the disappointment when the home team lost by four points to the Bulls. It was a great game though. The teams kept us guessing on who would win until the last 30 seconds.

Needless to say, I had a blast. And now I understand why people keep going back. I certainly would!

On Saturday, I received a call from my neighbor. She asked, "I have great seats to the Patriots Game tomorrow, would you like to go?!"

Methinks New England is trying to make a sports fan out of me.

--oOo--

Our holiday issue of PINOYexpats is now online. Do stop by and check out our fashion and retail offering!

Makin' My List...

...and checkin' it twice. Egad! We have 26 people so far, and that's just M's family! Counting my family and some friends, that is a long enough list for cards and gifts guaranteed to drive anyone crazy in an already hectic holiday season. We do have some of the gifts already but we are so very far from done. We usually do our Christmas shopping all throughout the year. By Thanksgiving, we have all the cards ready to be mailed out and the gifts ready for wrapping. We do this to keep our sanity intact—and our budget. Buying a couple of items each month does not make much of a dent as opposed to getting everything in December. Buying all the gifts then and having to show up wherever the party might be can prove to be an extremely costly affair. You see, M’s family likes to get together for the holidays. So if the party ends up being in a state other than Massachusetts, it’s another expense to factor in.

With that to consider, we have to find creative and frugal ways to get the perfect gifts. Perfect -- meaning it matches the giftee’s personality without breaking our bank. That’s why our hunt for those gifts start right after Christmas. When we see items that are reasonably priced and ideal for someone whom we know will be on our list, we snatch it up immediately. When we see storefronts that have the sign "SALE", we check out their stuff. We also hit online stores like Smartbargains, Overstock, Amazon, Victoria’s Secret and peruse their bargain bins. We’ve been pleasantly surprised at the things that they had on sale before, and they usually offer free shipping to boot!

It's always a great challenge to complete our long Christmas list. The hunt, braving the crowds, long lines at the cash register, the ever-shrinking balance in our bank account--just thinking of these things that make us pray for God's strength and provision as this retail-driven season approaches.

Okay, I gotta stop prattling. We have some shopping to do!!!

Year 5

M and I just celebrated Year 5. It's amazing how fast time flies when you are having loads of fun. Of course, it wasn't always easy, especially the first couple of years. It was a time of adjustment -- two cultures, two independent mindsets, two different upbringings, in one living space. It wasn't always "Home, Sweet, Home." At times, it was a battleground of wills. Through it all, we have learned not how to stop fighting, but how to fight constructively.

He has let me know, in no uncertain terms, that emotional manipulation -- women's usual primary weapon -- through words and actions (or inaction) will never work on him. He hates it with a passion. He appreciates straight and honest talk, in a calm manner and responds better to that. And I've let him know that his propensity to not talk about things may buy him some time, but will not make me back down. I have learned to try and say things plainly sans emotionalism, exaggeration or manipulation. He is learning to not hesitate to say what he thinks and feels as it will not elicit any hysteria from me (or so I hope).

Proverbs 27:17 says, "As iron sharpens iron, so one man sharpens another." We do continue to sharpen each other. Some times are easier than others, but I'm glad it's no longer a sharpening of claws when we butt heads.

One morning, our daily reading together said, "A Happy Marriage consists of two forgivers." We looked at each other and started chuckling. We both have forgiven each other for many, many things. And being the way we both are, we know we will have to be doing more forgiving in the years to come.

His, Hers & Theirs: Our Family

Ours was never the regular family. We were pretty modern by the standards of Philippine society at that time. Even as a young child, I knew our family was different from a lot of the others. Why? My parents have the "His", "Hers" and "Theirs" --- kids, that is. That was unusual. Both parents were married before and had children with their first spouses. But even if the fact is that 3 of my 5 brothers are half-brothers, I never thought of them as such. I never used "His", "Hers" and "Theirs" as a description, unless we needed to get absolutely technical about the whole thing. I was never fazed by it. I actually liked the fact that we were not like the other families. And despite our differences, we really valued each other. It taught me early on that my self-esteem did not depend on conforming and being like everyone else. It opened my mind to possibilities outside what our hypocritical society dictated.

Our parents were really practical in their approach with us too. We weren't brought up on superstitions, "moo-moo", folk beliefs, Santa Claus, tooth fairies, etc. -- those were things we picked up from our nannies and some friends. If we asked our parents about it, they did not hesitate to tell us the truth. They never used those things to scare or manipulate us into doing things. Those were done by our maids! "The moo-moo will get you if you don't..." I guess our parents believed that respect should be your only motivation in doing something, and asking others to do something for you.

Our fights were settled in the same manner. Each child got their chance to be heard in our parents' "court", and judgement was passed. If we were deemed to be at fault, we had to take our punishment without any complaints, or risked being punished even further. The one at fault HAD to apologize specifically for what they did wrong. Any retaliation was not treated lightly. Excuses and rationalizations weren't tolerated. In fact, we risked getting even more punishment if we resorted to it. That formula seemed to work with us because by a certain age, there were no bickerings and petty fights anymore. If we had conflict, we discussed it openly and tried to resolve it. If we couldn't, we just agreed to disagree and closed the topic unless we agreed to bring it up again.

In the short time that my parents were together, I think they did a pretty darn good job of parenting. We thrived in the way they disciplined us, and we loved and respected them for it. Too bad, it didn't last forever. And even then, we were told the truth with no sugar-coating. I appreciated that, because it gave me a chance to come to terms with the truth, the truth that life is imperfect. Be it as a victim of circumstance or a consequence of a stupid thing I did, I have to deal with life's difficulties as they come along.

My parents' time together was short, but the lessons they have taught linger. I hope to learn by their great example, as well as by their monumental mistakes. They never pretended to be perfect nor demanded perfection from us. The sincerity and strength they showed through their human frailty is the example I will always carry with me.

Thinking the Worst

I have found that thinking the worst of people and situations just makes one extremely unhappy and bitter. I'm glad there were enough events in my life when I made the mistake of doing that and it turned out I was wrong. I started to train myself to stop doing it because of how miserable it made me feel, and how it proved to be baseless at times.

Many times, thinking the worst serves no purpose. You start treating people with suspicion which definitely wins you no love and loyalty. Thinking the worst does not speak well of the thinker, either. Ever heard of the saying, "Thinkers are the doers?" I believe that a lot of times, the thinker just projects the thing they would do or say to the other person, if the situation was reversed. We all do glean from our own tendencies and experience.

Sure, there are times when the suspicion has basis given the track record of some people you deal with. In that case, then it may be warranted. "Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice, shame on me." I agree with that, although it's difficult for me to live it. I believe in giving people a second chance, giving them the benefit of the doubt. Why? Because I was given the same chance before, and it has built in me the desire to try and do the right thing. I've been told countless times that I am naïve. I think my naïveté will forever remain. I really believe that people will do the right thing if given another chance. And the few that do, are worth those that disappoint me again and again.

Careful The Things You Say

Has anyone ever told you something and then completely deny it later on when it happens to come up in a future conversation? It's the most annoying thing, to say the least. I usually do not make it an issue. I just try to convince myself that I probably misheard and shrug it off. But there are instances when no matter how much I tell myself that I probably heard wrong, the things said were stuff I never would have known if it wasn't told to me, or the empathy and frustration I felt was so strong that even if I can't exactly recall word-for-word what was said, I remember the emotion it evoked in me. There was simply no way my reaction was in error, especially when the empathy I showed was much appreciated by the "storyteller".

"People might forget what you said, people might forget what you did, but people will never forget how you made them feel."

When I read that quote from Maya Angelou, it just hit home. I realized that your ears and mind may fail you sometimes, but body memory will not. Our body remembers its reactions to all situations. When similar situations arise in the future, you get this gut feeling. Some call it instinct, some call it intuition.

It bothers me when people take me for a fool and deny flat to my face whatever they told me earlier. Yes, sometimes I do mishear things, but there are times I am certain. What's wrong with just admitting that what was said before was inaccurate? I actually would respect that more.

If you're one of those who are in the habit of saying suff and denying it later on, people are not as dense as you think they are. Sometimes they just choose to be non-confrontational. It doesn't gain you any respect though by hoping to make them feel that they've just lost their faculties. The only thing that was lost was probably their trust in you.

Black Hole

I was happily typing away my thoughts just a few minutes ago, and got about three paragraphs' worth of words. I reviewed and proofread what I wrote. After a few corrections and revisions, I finally found it to be blog-worthy. I press the publish button and switched to another window to surf as it was publishing. I go back to the previous window to find the words "Page Cannot Be Displayed". Noooooooooooooo! Arrrrrrrgggggggghhhhhhh! I tried refreshing, it didn't work. I pressed the "back" button, nothing happened. Everything I wrote just disappeared into the dreaded internet black hole, never to be retrieved again. Don't you just HATE it when that happens?!?!

Our Anniversary Issue Is Online!

Please check out the anniversary issue of PINOYexpats. Melissa's brainchild is a year old and thriving beautifully with her at the helm. I'm glad to be associated with it. :)

The theme for the anniversary issue is citizenship. Most of you know that I'm going through the steps of naturalization. You will find my thoughts about it under the worldPINOYS section.

Thank you for stopping by!

Being Right and Being Wise

My father once told me, “Being always right is not as important as being wise.” He said that in my life, I will find myself in situations where I know I am right, but that I should have the wisdom to know when to assert the fact. “Having the last say does not necessarily mean that you’ve won the argument,” was another thing. Both statements stuck with me like glue. I am learning, through years of falling flat on my face and putting my foot in my mouth, to choose my battles -- to know when and in what circumstance to put in my $0.02 worth, and when I am just wasting my breath.

I have come across so many seemingly highly intelligent people that just do not have the wisdom and the sensitivity to rein in their tongues. It makes me think that their self-esteem is tied in to the number of words that they utter, whether they believe in what they’re saying or not. The haughty attitude and tone that accompany their statements just add to the aural delight. I don’t think they clue in to the fact that the more they voice out their thoughts in that manner, the less it means to anyone else who has to hear it all the time. What’s sad is, by the time they’re actually saying something that is worth some thought, people have probably stopped listening.

Any statement that comes from such people, I am learning to just shrug off. Venting in any way makes them happy, ignoring them keeps me happy. We’re all happy! After all, that’s what’s important, n’est-ce pas?

Finally Seeing Niagara

Hubby and I got to hit two birds with one stone. We wanted to do was break-in the new car, and we also wanted to go see Niagara Falls before it got too cold. We had been putting it off long enough. So last weekend, we decided to drive to the Canadian border town and have a look around.

The sight of the Falls was breathtaking. There's nothing like seeing something so much greater than us. It truly puts the small stuff in our lives in perspective. It just emphasized to me the evanescence of our circumstances, problems and lives. How the little things that we can be so consumed about are nothing in the light of something that represents a measure of eternity. That was what the Falls signified to me despite the fact that is it "younger" than than many of the natural wonders of our world. It was awesome in its display of power and magnitude. It wasn't quite like seeing the Grand Canyon, but it came pretty close.

We played tourists and got the city's Adventure Pass that allowed us unlimited access to the PeopleMover, which is the bus that brings people from one tourist spot to another. We first went into the Journey Behind the Falls which is a viewing deck halfway down, right next to the falls. It was connected by a tunnel to two openings that allow you to view the Falls from behind.

Our next stop was something that one just has to do when visiting Niagara Falls, going on the Maid of the Mist. It's the boat that brings tourists as close to the Falls as possible. The winds were in our favor and we didn't get as soaked as the ones that went before and after us. I was thankful since the air was quite chilly as it was.

We then had lunch at the Skylon Tower. It's a 55-storey (?) tower that has a window elevator that shoots you up to the restaurant and viewing deck above. A bit pricey for what they had to serve, but I guess they factor in the spectacular view in your bill, more than anything. There's nothing quite like viewing the Earth from above.

The Butterfly Conservatory was a huge greenhouse with 2,000 butterflies flying around freely. Shutter-happy Hubby had quite a heyday shooting the lovely little creatures who landed wherever they pleased. In my case, it was my collar and the lens of the camera. The greenhouse simulated a warm, tropical climate with lots of flowers and plants. They had feeding stations where you can watch them feed, as well as a "birthing station" where they had rows and rows of cocoons at their different stages. At the bottom, there were a number of newly born butterflies that were perched at the little holes in the glass casing, ready to fly out into the greenhouse.

In the evening, we took a stroll along the Falls to see the lights show. The lights are on from 7:00 to 11:00 pm and bathes both the American and the Canadian Falls in different colors. It was pretty cool. We waited for the fireworks show that never came. It usually happened every Friday and Sunday night at 10:00 pm at the American Falls, from the start of summer to a certain date in October. We were erroneously informed that it was still going on. Nevertheless, we still had fun just drinking in the sight as we strolled the riverbanks that evening.

As with most good time, it had to end. We found ourselves driving back to rain-soaked Boston sooner than we really wanted. But I must say that the long drive to and fro in three days was totally worth it. It's another special memory for us. :)

To Trust A Boston Police Officer...

Today, after dropping hubby off in UMass, I drove to Chinatown to meet an old friend for lunch. As I went around for the third time looking for parking, I noticed a small street with some vacant spaces. I went around once more and before I got to the street, I pulled over beside a police cruiser and asked the officer inside if it was okay to park there and if it was a tow-away zone, just to be sure. He responded, "If there's a space there, then take it!" So I parked there, happy at the thought that I did not have to pay $5.00 per half an hour in some parking garage. After my leisurely lunch at Penang and some dessert at the Cheesecake Factory, I got back to the car only to find something orange stuck to my windsheild. Lo and behold, it was a $55.00 parking ticket!

I was naive to take the word of a Boston Police Officer. I guess he was right. I didn't get towed. He just failed to tell me that I could get a big fat ticket!!! My husband always said that I trusted people too much. Oh, well. An expensive lesson for me. One that I surely won't forget next time I try to park in Boston.

Luxury With Heart

"So sense and sensibility won over beauty and luxury!" That was what a friend said when I told him that Hubby and I took home the new 2005 Honda Accord Hybrid. He knew it was a toss up between that and the Infiniti G35, which we had been lusting for in the last couple of years. We compared the two in fuel consumption, luxury options, cost of maintenance, reputation and reliability. We decided that even if it lost on looks, the trusty Honda Accord Hybrid fits our needs better in the long run, than the oh-so-sexy Infiniti G35. The fact that the Accord has been in Car & Driver's 10 best for an unprecedented 19 years, compared to Infiniti's 2 years, helped. And now with the rumors circulating that Hurrican Rita may cause gas prices to go up yet again, we know we made the right choice.

People say that the fuel savings you get on the Hybrid does not make up for paying premium for the car. We really did not get it for that reason. We got it, not only to support and encourage this alternative technology, but to have peace of mind in the knowledge that luxurious does not necessarily mean heartless. One can have a nice, comfortable, powerful car and still be guzzling less gas and spewing less emissions into our air. We can have our fun without sticking it to Mother Earth or increasing our dependence on Mid-East oil. It's so much fun to drive that Hubby and I playfully bicker as to who gets the wheel everytime we go out. We really liked the Accord from the beginning, but now that we own one, we are really loving it!

--oOo--

We have just launched our latest PINOYexpats issue on food and the Filipinos' love for it. Do stop by and visit!

On Being Just

"Never look for righteousness in the other person, but never cease to be righteous yourself. We are always looking for justice, yet the essence of the teaching of the Sermon on the Mount is— Never look for justice, but never cease to give it."

-Oswald Chambers, My Utmost For His Highest

That was the last sentence in my reading during one of my "quiet moments" several weeks ago. I needed that to inspire me because a lot of times, I find myself disheartened when people do not act in the way that is fair. Being my optimistic and naive self, I believe that everyone has an inner sense of fairness. But I have been disappointed to find out otherwise in many of my day-to-day dealings.

In a sermon I heard long ago, the Pastor said that the main causes of many a conflict are failed expectations and blocked goals. When someone acts contrary to how you expect them to act, or is an obstacle toward a goal that you have set, we may feel anger and disappointment. And that can lead to deep, unspoken resentments and conflicts, if there is no open communication.

It resounds in me because it really upsets me when people expect others to play fair, even if they themselves are not willing to. I always remind myself that each person is different, shaped by the values that we were taught and the kind of discipline, or non-discipline, we received. So people will not always act or react in the way we expect them to. I am not guiltless in this for I am ahead of the game when it comes to acting and reacting in many selfish ways. Just ask my husband! :) Thank God, I have him to remind me in a loving way when I do. He never says much. He just gently touches me and whispers, "Relax." He manages to deflate the pride and selfish indignation I feel by that simple action. It is great that he's there to remind me that even if everyone else is acting foolish, I have the choice to not act in the same way.

It's Okay To Cry

I find it amusing that after so many recent studies on human behavior, some people still think that they show themselves as strong just because they don't show grief or shed a tear during a difficult time.

I believe it actually takes more courage and maturity to show vulnerability and face the emotion we feel at a particular moment. Glossing it over and faking peppiness are telltale signs of insecurity and being emotionally crippled. The great fear of appearing weak precludes any show of sentiment or feeling, lest others see a chink in the armor.

In some respect, it is true. Holding back our emotion does show some strength. But strutting about to display it, especially when others are mourning, may show a lack of wisdom and sensitivity.

It's okay to cry, really. And if you just don't feel the grief, then it would be nice to show some respect to those who do.

Gone Home

FIL passed away today at 2:30 am after a 15-year bout with cancer. He is no longer bound by an earthly, imperfect body. He is now at rest in the arms of God whom he loved so much.

We are now headed to Florida to bury him at his chosen final resting place. It will be a difficult but necessary time to mourn our loss, and celebrate his life.

Thanks to all those who have prayed with us throughout this time.

A Difficult Week

Hubby and I have had a very draining week. FIL, who suffers from cancer, developed an infection and we had to rush him to the hospital. We got there at 10:30 pm and did not get out of there until 1 pm the next day, having spent the night at the emergency room and getting him admitted to a room. We spent the rest of the week going after work, every evening to visit and also bring food to MIL, as well as to my SIL, who was visiting from Florida at that time with her two daughters. They spent their days in the hospital. My two other SILs, who are his usual caretakers, were taking a much needed vacation when it happened. It was good for them to have a break, as well as give us a chance to be able to contribute a bit more of our time to FIL's care. They tried not to worry too much as we took over, and we just kept them updated on his condition.

After four days in the hospital, FIL showed improvement and was able to speak more, eat and sit up again. So yesterday, he was discharged and he is now back home with my SILs who have returned from their short vacation. We all breathed a sigh of relief as yet one more health hiccup is overcome.

It is so hard to see a loved one in pain. Although there is something uplifting, however sad, about seeing love in action when you witness individuals being strong and brave, and doing everything they can to ease the suffering of their loved one.

What Would You Do?

If you win the lottery, what would you do? This was a discussion that Hubby and I had once. This article made me think on it more.

Me? I would keep my mouth shut. There are already enough people in the world who try to get you to spend your money on them in one way or another. Whether your earnings are little, some or a lot, there are those that just do not value the amount of hard work you do to earn your money. People sometimes take on an attitude that it is their right to have you spend on them because, really, they need it more than you do! Imagine if they find out that you have a windfall? The more they will feel entitled to it. Whatever assistance you try to extend, will probably be never enough anyway. It is amazing how ungrateful the people you continually help become. That’s why I always try to keep in check my impulses on generosity. It is not because I’m very greedy or unwilling to share. I already do my little bit of helping here and there, and just might increase a little bit more if I had more to give. I believe that helping too much is not good either. Aside from taking your constant help for granted, there are lessons that the person you are helping might miss if they don't go through their struggle.

I am reminded of that story when someone, out of kindness, “helped” a new-born butterfly break out of its cocoon by slicing it open. The butterfly came out with a swollen body and shriveled wings. It was never able to fly. It is the struggle out of the cocoon that actually helps it to strengthen its body and allows it to spread its wings and fly. The same goes for us. I believe there’s a valuable lesson wrapped in every hardship that we go through. It’s up to us to either be bitter about it or to meet it head-on and learn as much as we can from it. If someone takes it away, we will never learn the lesson. Trials enrich our souls far better than money can enrich us financially. Nothing hones character more than adversity.

So we would do good to be wise in how we offer “help”. Yes, it's nice to get the credit and the accolade of being known as helpful and generous. I think it can become selfish because what we sometimes do is not really helping, just enabling. Enabling in a way that people remain in their stunted state, while we glory and pat ourselves in the back for being a kind and magnanimous human being.

I think God, in His infinite wisdom, has not allowed me to win the lottery. Well, it doesn’t help that I don’t really buy tickets! But if I ever do, people in really dire straits or in life and death situations will probably get help... as anonymously as I possibly could give it. That way they can put their faith in God and how He works through people, not in people or money. I don't think I will let anyone around me ever know of my windfall, save for Hubby. I think it's just much better that way, don't you think?

A Tokaya in Boston

A couple of weeks ago, I went to dinner with someone I had met through this blog. She is a namesake of mine, Filipino, a University of the Philippines alumnus, and lives in Boston, as well. With those similarities, how can we not attempt to meet in person, right? It started out when she left comments here. We started corresponding by email semi-regularly after that. I say semi-regularly because the woman has a crazy schedule! MIT is surely squeezing every drop they can out of her before they let her go.

The first time I met her was when she came to watch the show I did a few months back. We were able to chat a bit, but there were just too many people milling about to even start a real conversation. This time, we really got to sit down and probe minds. I found that we were similar in many, many ways, except in one thing. She definitely has more brains than me! She is working on her thesis, and will soon be graduating with a PhD in Chemistry from MIT. She explained to me what she does, it just went completely over my head though. :)

After a very interesting and entertaining dinner, we went around the shops in Faneuil Hall, just to do what women love to do together, chat and browse the sales. It was nice to be able to walk around with a fellow pinay, speaking Tagalog, and sharing that ridiculous pinoy sense of humor. It's just too bad that she's moving away to Indiana after her graduation. But these days, the internet can help maintain friendships that would otherwise be lost if we depended on what we now consider archaic modes of communication, the phone (those phone bills!) and snail mail. That's how I have kept in touch with all my family and friends back home, and it's also how I have met a few wonderful people such as this Tokaya of mine. The internet is an amazing thing, isn't it?

A C. S. Lewis Weekend

I'm having a Clive Staples Lewis weekend. I am listening to the musical, "The Lion, The Witch and the Wardrobe" that my friend, Lito composed and Trumpets put up in the Philippines for the first time in 1998. The musical is based on the C. S. Lewis story from the Chronicles of Narnia. I dug up my CD and listened to it again with fresh ears. I have always thought the music was beautiful, but could have been biased since it was my friend's creation and a Trumpets production. Listening to it now after seven years, and its music still manages to enthrall me. It also brought back so many memories for me of rehearsing and doing the musical, as well as the late hours we spent in the studio recording the CD. It was such a good musical that I hope other people get the chance to see and enjoy it. I'm praying that a producer will be interested to put up the musical here. It's timely since Disney's coming out with the movie version this December. I think doing the musical sometime after that would be a great idea.

Tumnus and Lucy in Narnia

The Lion, The Witch and the Wardrobe

A Trumpets Production, Manila, Philippines

Another C. S. Lewis thing I am into this weekend is his book, The Screwtape Letters. He shows the same sublte but great command of biblical truths which he did in The Lion, The Witch and the Wardrobe, as well as an insight into the psyche of one whose business is manipulation and temptation. He starts off by saying, "There are two equal and opposite errors into which our race can fall about the devils. One is to disbelieve in their existence. The other, is to believe, and to feel an excessive and unhealthy interest in them. They themselves are equally pleased by both errors and hail a materialist or a magician with the same delight." Its protagonists are two demons, Wormwood and his uncle, Screwtape. Through letters, Screwtape strives to teach Wormwood how to exploit all the weaknesses of this "foolish two-legged animals" called humans and keep their mind on everything except God. I find Screwtape's assessment of man as so true that it has me burst out laughing many times.

I wish I had an ounce of the talent and sense of C. S. Lewis, or the musical abilities of my friend, Lito. I often wonder how people can be so talented. And even more amazing that talent, when used for good, can affect lives in such a positive manner. C. S. Lewis died seven years before I was born, and here I am still enjoying and learning from his gifts. I have no doubt that Lito is going to leave the same kind of legacy somehow, someday. The good that we do with the talent that God gives us will always leave an imprint in someone's heart.

Turning Older

In a couple of days, I will be another year older and hopefully wiser. Bro, who shares the same birthday, asked me what I planned to do on our day. Nothing special, really. The past year has been so full of blessings that I really do not feel I need to do anything special to celebrate. I feel that the entire year has been one big celebration in itself. Also in the past few days, we have been up and about entertaining guests. It is a lot of fun but also extremely exhausting. Now, I want nothing more than to just have a quiet and restful birthday.

Last week, a friend from the Philippines arrived to spend some time with us. In the middle of her stay, Hubby's 17-year-old twin nephews arrived to spend a whole week. We have been taking them around to see the sights and just hanging out to spend time with them. It took a lot out of me to keep up with teenage energy. It brings home the reality of how old I really am!

First night, after a sumptuous dinner at the Cheesecake Factory, we took them on a walking tour from the Christian Science Center to Trinity Church in Copley Square, through Newbury St., to the Boston Public Gardens and finally, the Boston Commons to watch "Hamlet". I walk an average of half an hour daily. But that was a much longer walk than I was used to. We got home before midnight.

On Saturday, along with Hubby's other 7-year-old nephew and 5-year-old niece (who live nearby), we took them sailing during the early afternoon in the Boston Harbor, then went to the North End (Boston's Little Italy) to grab something at the famous Pizzeria Regina (est. 1926). We then proceeded to the Esplanade along the Charles River to watch the concert of the Stylistics, where we were joined by the parents of the younger children, their youngest and my other SIL. The Stylistics sounded as good as ever despite their years. It brought us all back to our special memories of that decade, judging from the nostalgic demeanor on everyone's face that evening. Again, we had a very late night and turned in at around 2:30 am.

Yesterday, we took them to Chinatown after church to sample the fare at our favorite restaurant there after church. After we all had our yummy fill, we spent the rest of the day in the Boston Commons. The kids got silly and wet at the fountains at Frog Pond. We also played soccer, volleyball, and spent time running after a new airhog plane that we had bought for one of the nephews. It got stuck in trees five times. We were able to knock it off the trees four times before. The fifth time, it flew so high that it got stuck on a thick branch of this particularly tall tree. Hubby's nephew tried to knock it off with a soccer ball. Alas, after several attempts, the ball decided to keep the plane company on one of the branches. We tried to retrieve both with big rocks until dusk, to no avail.

So one windy day, a soccer ball and a toy plane will fall into someone's hands. Hopefully, those hands will be that of a little boy who has just asked God for some toys! Hmm, I think that's going to be my birthday wish...

Credit Card Crapola

When I first set foot to live in this country a few years back, I quickly found out how important credit history is. Even subscribing to a simple cellphone service quickly taught me that with no history, no one would trust me. Before I could subscribe, they required a huge deposit. I didn't want to waste my money on putting in a huge deposit and gain no interest on it, so I thought that the next logical step was to apply for credit. But no matter where I turned to, no one would issue me one because I had no credit history. Even those institutions that sent me mail with the invitation to apply would turn me down. It was quite frustrating. How the heck do I build a history if no one was willing to take the risk and give me one??!! I even sent a letter to Standard Chartered Bank to see if they would issue me credit here since I was a founder member credit card holder in the Philippines and had history there. They sent a letter of regret saying that they are not in the business of credit cards in the US.

Finally, I just resorted to paying for a secured credit card. It was like a debit card wherein my credit limit was the amount that I had 'deposited'. The money earned no interest and the APR for purchases was ridiculously high, if you did not pay your monthly bill in full. The only advantage was, credit bureaus are not able to tell that it is secured. Through that, as well as being an authorized user on my husband's cards after we got married, I was slowly able to build my own solid history, and I eventually replaced that secured high-interest card with a few of low-interest, perk-filled, no annual fee credit cards.

Today, I scoff and thumb my nose at those companies that snubbed me before because of insufficient history. They really want my business now, it is not even funny. Our small mailbox gets stuffed with pre-approved offers daily. Today, I had three offers, a Citibank Diamond Preferred, a Chase Visa Platinum and an American Express Platinum. One even offers a free companion airline ticket! And you guessed right. Now, I get the pleasure of turning them down! Hmp!

:)

Note: To be fair to AMEX, they've treated me very, very well from the beginning. They were the only one who took a risk with me so they will have my business for a long, long time. Their Platinum program just has an expensive annual fee. A Financial Planner advised me never to pay an annual fee for a credit card. She said it was a waste of money since there are so many credit cards that offer the same without the annual fee. She's right!

Careless Words

In the heat of the moment, coupled with a desire to manipulate a situation and lash out at anybody, someone accused me today of being a gossip behind my back. People can be really careless with what goes out of their mouths at the moment of anger. They start accusing other people of stuff that they are guilty of. They suddenly project to other people what actions they might take in circumstances, not realizing that not everyone thinks and acts in the same way they do.

It just saddens me that people are so foolish as to lash out like that. They don't realize that they don't win any sympathy to their supposed plight by acting that way. They go around telling their business to everyone that listens, and they fail to realize that they themselves are the source and root of the problem.

That's what I get for being a listening ear and a sounding board at times, as well. I should really be more choosy as to whom I lend my shoulder when they're feeling down. That same person who sometimes asks for your sympathy can turn against you, the moment that you say the truth that they cannot bear to hear.

The first lesson for me is, yes, to be even more careful that anything that comes out of my mouth cannot be misconstrued as breaking confidence. The second is, to agree to be a sounding board only to people who are willing to listen to the truth and humbly receive the counsel they supposedly seek.

--oOo--

Matthew 7:6 - "Do not give dogs what is sacred; do not throw your pearls to pigs. If you do, they may trample them under their feet, and then turn and tear you to pieces. "

The 4th of July

In 1999, I remember seeing a photo of the fireworks above the Charles River in Boston on the front page of a major Philippine newspaper. At that moment, I remember thinking how great it must be to experience that and wishing that I could be there to see the show the following year. It was just one of those things that I quietly muttered to God as a wish and quickly forgot about. The seeming impossibility of that thing happening just made my mind brush it aside to one corner of my brain. At that moment, the possibility of me even being in the US was small to nil. (This was before the whole Disney offer, which is another wonderfully weird story.)

A year later, I found myself at the bank of the Charles River, standing with thousands of people, watching that same show. I held my M's hand (we were just dating then) as we listened to the Boston Pops playing classical music to the awesome display of pyrotechny in the sky. I realized right then and there that I was living that small wish that I had made a year before. The weird thing is, we didn't even plan on being there. M and I decided to meet in New York for his birthday and stayed with his brother, L. On the fourth, M and L just decided that we would drive to Boston to spend the 4th with their two sisters who lived there. So we left late in the afternoon, undmindful of any schedule. As we entered the Massachusetts turnpike, we saw smaller displays of fireworks going off in the distance. M then mentioned that the fireworks in the Esplanade should be starting at around 10:00 pm. So they both decided that the three of us were going to head there and try to catch a glimpse of this legendary Boston tradition.

That's how I ended up there on that night. We craned our necks to watch the 40-minute display. But as grand as the spectacle was, I could not believe how much grander God's generosity was to me. Little did M and L know how God was granting one small wish of mine through them at that particular moment. Since then, I have celebrated every 4th of July here in Boston, and I am reminded of that little wish that I made. A wish that I considered impossible and forgot about, which God deemed important enough for Him to grant to me.

Humble Pie

I guess it is an acquired taste. Some people will never go near it, and some will learn to appreciate it. Much like cod liver oil, humble pie is something we all would rather not have. It does not taste that great. However, having a dose or two once in a while keeps us from what I call ‘egotistical obesity’.

I have had more than my share of this er… beneficial treat. Mouthing off or doing things on impulse for self-aggrandizement or any other selfish motive earns me the right to have it. I have eaten my humble pie, both in private and in public. When I was younger, my Mom and family made sure I had it to keep me steady. I didn’t appreciate it then, but looking back, I am thankful that they did. Now at the end of each day, I try to see if I need a piece of it just so I can keep myself ‘fit’. Having my own personal serving also seems to keep me from indulging in public. Nonetheless, it doesn’t mean that it never happens anymore.

We should all be careful to keep sweet the words that come out of our mouths, in case we might have to eat them one day. Let us try to not be the fools that we are most of the time. The words we utter will come back to comfort or haunt us someday in the future. It comes in the form of people to whom we have spewed out quoting us, or circumstances that we have set rolling with the words we speak.

I recommend a daily dose of Humble Pie. Like many things nutritious, the more you have it, the less difficult it is to swallow. Nevertheless, it is not something one craves to have. It may never become a pleasant treat, but a regular serving is good for our soul.

------

P.S. I was going through my stats, and found someone accessing this link of a blog of mine, exactly a year ago.

http://irruminations.blogspot.com/2004/07/fools-are-proud-and-wise-are-humble.html

Both are entries on humility. What are the chances?

Am I Unpatriotic?

When I was still living in Manila, I always wondered why Filipinos would want to live anywhere else. It puzzled me why some of my friends chose to migrate. They had a good life and most of them had carved out a niche for themselves in their respective fields. I always used to say, "Why be a second-class citizen somewhere else when you're first-rate here?" I had high hopes for the Philippines. The economy seemed to be improving despite the prevalence still of graft and corruption, a legacy of the Marcos era. However, along with a growing number of people who continually made a stand, I refused to pay bribes to get around red tape and would do things the legal (and difficult) way willingly, if need be, to try and effect some change. I thought it was just a matter of time before it caught on and things improved.

Then an action star got elected President. Picture Vin Diesel winning the Presidency, only older, fatter, ugly and way less smarter. Not only that, he was corrupt, through and through. The way he ran his mayorship of a small town and his Vice Presidency proved that. When he announced that he was vying for the top seat in the land, I swore to myself that if he won, I would leave the country. I figured if someone like that won, then it made my countrymen no more than a bunch of star-struck groupies or worse, they were paid to vote or support him. Nobody in their right mind could actually believe that an action star, who didn't finish high school, can continue the decade of growth in a country that was just rising out of a 21-year plunder by a dictator and his muse.

I think God must have heard my prayer, because the month of that man's swearing in as President, I got an offer to work in the United States. I accepted. I was so disillusioned and disgruntled. I figured I'd give myself a break and try out living somewhere else, just to get away from the crazy situation that is my country. I knew it would take time for me to adjust since I was going to be completely on my own -- no family, friends, no established ties, no network, and no household help! To my surpise, I fared well. Despite missing the artistic side of my existence back home, I was glad to have a set schedule and loved being at home by nightfall. Even doing house chores which I dreaded, wasn't that bad. I found myself really relaxed despite what everyone says, that life in Manila is a picnic compared to the hard, cold life in the US. I asked myself why. I came to the conclusion that I had lived with pollution, horrendous traffic, crazy drivers, corrupt government employees and officials, etc. for so long that I had schooled myself to accept it as part of life. Living away from it though, made me realize how deeply it really bothered and burdened me.

I have now been away for six years. I believe the election of Mr. Action Star sent the Philippines on a downward spiral it hasn't recovered from since. Hearing and reading about the present Philippine political climate and all the bickering and accusations flying around, the gambling lords, the pollution, the possible economic implosion and the crime rate in the urban areas, I don't think I can handle living there again. There are so many things that I love and miss about my beautiful country. It's just so sad that it's run so badly by politicians who mostly think of self-gain. My dreams of retiring there doesn't seem to be an option. It is my homeland but unless things change drastically, I really doubt it will ever be my home again.

Morbid or Just Realistic?

What would you do if you found out you had but a short time left to live?

Hubby and I had this discussion last night. Someone dear to us continues his 15-year battle with cancer and while we rejoice over the gift of one more day each day he wins his battle, it is something that has put our own mortality in the forefront of our minds.

It occurred to me though that while his enemy is known, ours might not be revealed to us until that time comes. There’s the undiagnosed ailment, the drunk driver, the murderer, the freak accident, the natural disaster, etc. Any of these could cut our lives short. If we knew that destiny has set our end date for tomorrow, would we be happy with the things that we have done? How have we led our lives? Would we feel that we have properly spent the time that was given to us? How negatively or positively did we impact the lives of the people around us? If people recall our last utterance to them, would they say it was edifying or hurtful? Have we inspired people to live better lives or do we serve as a warning? What legacy would we leave behind? And I don’t mean in terms of money or property. That’s probably because I have neither! :)

I decided early on in my walk that I would cease every opportunity to really try and have a positive impact, even on PMS days. Whether it’s for family, friend or those who consider me their foe. I guess for each of us, there would be a share of people who would think you led a fruitful life, and a group that would think otherwise. Indeed, no one is perfect. I do hope that somehow, the ayesayers would outweigh the naysayers. But in the end, I really will only care about one. God… that He says “Aye!”

C'est Kitsch!!!

Several years back, when I would see American movies depicting people commuting to work, I wondered why people wore sneakers with their business suits. I found it totally kitschy! I decided that I would never be found doing that. But of course back then, I was working in Manila, a city where everyone drove or were 'driven' to their destination no matter how near, and people hardly walked.

Fast-forward to the new millennium --- I find myself working in Boston, a city where everyone walks and takes the train, unless you're willing to sit in traffic going into town in the morning and shell out about US$400/month for parking. Not a lot do that, as you can imagine. Since my home and work are all within walking distance of the train, I happily take it. No hassle, no traffic, no parking fees! And what do you see me wear to and from work?

***Drum Roll***

Business attire and yes, sneakers! It not only is more comfortable, it is more practical given the harsh New England winters. The first couple of years, I tried wearing my nice work shoes through winter. I found out quickly how the salt (that they spread on the road to keep from freezing) and the snow ate on my nice leather pair of shoes. Not only that, leather soles and ice is almost a surefire way of making yourself land on your butt when you're walking on icy pathways. Then, you have the cobblestoned streets and sidewalks of this old city which can really wear your soles and heels out. Moreover, pointy heels have an uncanny way of inserting itself into the small cracks in between the stones and make you suddenly do a graceful little dance.

So if you're the type who likes to invest in a nice pair of shoes for work and making it last as long as you can, then you'd have to get something else that's flat-soled, soft and comfortable to wear on your commute to and from work. It's the only way to go!

As Hubby would always jokingly say, "So what have we learned if nothing at all?" That we don't judge people unless you've been in their shoes!

:)

Mutual Admiration Society

I was checking my blog stats and was so surprised that there was a significant spike to my number of visits. I looked at the referring page and sure enough, it was again the doing of Melissa (or AnP, to her thousands of readers). A lot of the Pinayexpat "faithful" were nice enough to drop by. Curious, I guess, to see what kind of friends she had.

It was a couple of weeks ago when Melissa and I were dissecting our friendship, and how it has survived all these years despite personal pursuits that took us to different paths. And yet each time we find each other, we pick up right where we left off and resume our little mutual admiration society. She and I are poles apart and yet we regard each other highly and enjoy our differences. We agreed that it must be because we gravitate towards people who have healthy self-confidence. Something we were both fortunate to have our parents instill in us. I guess that even at a young age, we both tired of "friends" who had nothing better to do than compare themselves to us or to talk behind our backs. I almost fell into that trap as there was a time when I was unwise in the company I chose to keep. But like her, I have a wise mother who put an end to that by encouraging me to be myself, and not to be too bothered about what these people say to me or about me.

I have found myself bonding more with people who share the same self-acceptance and assurance. They all are, in one way or another, more talented or smarter than me, and I am not fazed. Not only do I learn from them, but there is no insecurity or any ridiculous competition. Someone once made a comment that I was being snooty. I found that puzzling because my close friends come from all kinds of backgrounds. I even have those kinds of friendships where the person seems to need me more than they really care for me. I am only called when there's trouble brewing. I really don't mind being a "stormy-weather" friend but it does prevent the friendship from going any deeper.

However, I do have my truest friends who all have that incredible self-esteem, tempered with honesty and humility. That, plus a lot of respect make for that special friendship that is mutually satisfying...the kind that never fades, no matter the years nor the circumstance.

To my friends... Ano ba yan? 'Eto na naman tayo! Masyado tayong nagmamahalan!

Of Firsts and the Force

Week One
It was a crazy first week in my new job. I had about three days to absorb what my predecessor was trying to turn over to me. What's more, we ran into some road blocks as I was not yet set up technically in the corporate server so I could not fully sink my teeth into what I was supposed to learn and do. On top of that, I seem to have come in during the week where events were at fever-pitch so it left me kind of breathless. I was assured that it is not always like that. Whew!

Year One
Where did time go? I looked at my entries and realized that I've been blogging for a year. It certainly hasn't felt that long and yet the proof is all there. Just look to the left! Not only that, some people have deemed my writing worth "publishing". Now how's that for a surprise? One entry of mine has appeared in a newsletter for Habitat for Humanity (circulation 1,500) and a friend invited me to be a part of her online magazine called PINOYexpats, to which I have contributed a few articles. I don't know how long I can keep this con going, but I'll try for as long as I can! :)

The Force
Star Wars' final episode hits the screen. Hubby called me Friday after work and informed me that we were going to the 5:40 pm show. I told him I had to work a bit late and asked if there was a later show. He said they were all sold out. Since I knew that he wanted to go see it badly, I told him to go ahead and I will meet him after the show. "Okay!" he said. Not much convincing needed there! I was chuckling as I put the phone down. We usually watch everything together. Although if the situation were reversed, I probably would have done the same thing. When I met him after the show, he was grinning like a cheshire cat who's just had a meal. It was too cute!

My Last Week

It was crazy--
Job turnovers are never easy, especially when you only have a couple of days to do it.

It was tedious--
I stayed late every day of the week making sure I left no loose ends, and I still had some unfinished stuff that I needed to leave on to my successor.

It was wearying--
People tend to pile things on your desk that you are asked to "please try to do before you go."

It was expensive--
I got myself something nice from our jewelry company before I lost my right to the great employee discount.

It was sad--
It's hard to say goodbye to people you really like working with.

It was funny--
People were just playfully putting on a show of how sad they were to see me leave. I told them to try acting if they ever got laid off.

It was fattening--
I was invited out to lunch all week and told to order whatever I wanted.

It was bittersweet--
The London staff sent me a beautiful bouquet of flowers to say goodbye. It got me all choked up.

It was revealing--
You never really know how much you're appreciated and liked until you're about to leave.

It's exciting--
I'm always excited when I am on the verge of a new chapter in life. Change, though sometimes unnerving, has always brought me a new understanding of myself and how God is working on me. I decided early in life, no matter how much fear I have, to try not to shrink away from change. Whether it's a step back or a step forward, I say a prayer, coach my attitude, clench my teeth and meet change head on. So it's first day for me on Monday. Ready, get set, GO!

Moving On

Last Monday, I gave in my two-weeks' notice. The stunned look on my boss' face made me feel bad. After letting it sink in, he seemed to snap out of it and magnanimously told me that if it was for a better opportunity, then he would be happy for me. I assured him it was. It was an offer too good to refuse, I said. He then congratulated me with a wistful smile, reminding me that it is not his way to hinder people's advancement of themselves. As the reality of the situation became more apparent in the following days, I have been subject to some ribbing and roasting about my inevitable departure.

Leaving a job that you like, with people that you enjoy working with, is sad no matter how green the next pasture is to which you are moving. I work for a family-oriented, community-focused financial firm of about 160 people. It's probably one of the most laid-back financial firms I have ever seen. Different people, even ones that I did not expect, have been dropping by my office this whole week, telling me how sad they are to see me go. It reminded me what I liked best about this company, the humility and warmth of the people. Of course, some had this expression saying "contact" as they found out which division of the company for which I would be working. I don't mind.

So in a week's time, I will be working in a 160-people division, in a company of 175,000. It boggles my mind. So far, the ones I have met during the whole hiring process have been super, top to bottom. I hope it continues to be that way as I go along. I hope and I pray!

Don't You Hate It When...

-Pedestrians cross the street when it says "Don't Walk", and they take their sweet time doing it like they're walking in the park. (Bostonians do that all the time!)

-After a long day, you're in the train and someone beside you is on the cellphone talking so loudly that the entire car can hear him/her?

-People wear backpacks, forget that they are and whack you when they carelessly turn in a crowded place?

-Going up the stairs, people ahead of you swing their arms when they're carrying an umbrella?

-People overtake you when walking and then slow down? This applies to driving too.

-You receive a complicated excel file which is not properly formatted with pre-set page breaks and you have to print it out in readable form?

-People touch your computer screen and leave their fingerprints on it?

-People throw things just anywhere without bothering to find a trash can?

-People toss their cigarettes (again, just anywhere) when they're done smoking without extinguishing it?

-People don't let you finish talking before they butt in?

Finally...

"Your application to remove your conditional status has been GRANTED."

That's what the letter from the US Citizenship and Immigration Services said. I got it a couple of weeks ago after we got back from our vacation. I was quite surprised because I was still supposed to undergo one last interview. I even got a letter in July last year saying that they would soon be notifying me of my interview schedule. I am guessing that they took so long in processing my petition that they just probably decided to skip the interview and grant it. It took two years!

I know someone who applied to remove conditional status six months after me, got interviewed and granted permanent residency about six months later. He's from Scotland and I am from the Philippines. Hubby and I think that was probably a big factor, with the southern tip of the Philippines being a breeding ground for terrorists and all. I guess they can't be too careful. What do you think? :)

---

I saw this news piece in the Today show about a mother calling 911 because her two daughters, a 12-year-old and a 14-year-old, were fighting. She didn't want to step in because one of her daughters is supposedly bigger and stronger than her. The operator said, "And what do you want us to do, go over there and shoot her?" I was outraged. Not necessarily at the operator, although what he said was really unprofessional, but that the woman would use the emergency line because she had no control over her own kids. Police resources should be used for more urgent matters, not to settle family squabbles. It just reinforced my belief that when people are expecting a child, they should be made to undergo a seminar on child-rearing. I just see so many parents whose only qualification on being one is the ability to procreate, because you see how out-of-control their kids are. On the other hand, the government has also made it impossible for parents to enforce discipline on their kids because of their fear of being accused of child abuse. Therefore, you really can't blame the parents completely either. So who to call when your kids are out of control? The government -- 911.

Changing of the Guards

I am a witness to three "changing of the guards" in the Papacy. Two of them happened in short successions that there were three Popes in 1978. Paul VI died that year, succeeded by John Paul I, who succumbed to a heart attack a little more than a month later, and was succeeded by John Paul II. Studying in a Catholic school, we were made aware of the whole process. We were given lectures and educational comic books on how someone ascends to become the Supreme Pontiff.

First-
When Pope Paul I (Albino Luciani), was elected, he initially refused to sit on the Sedia Gestatoria (portable Papal Throne) until he was convinced that the faithful were offered a better view of him if he were on it. He was also the first to refuse the pomp and ceremony of the millennium-old traditional crowning ceremony. He was the reluctant Pope, who disliked pomp and emphasized humility. He was a reformist who gave an indication that there would be a few changes in the Catholic Church, one of them being the Church's position on contraception. Alas, 33 days later he died of heart failure. The one that he predicted would succeed him, did. He called him "the foreigner". His name was John Paul II (Karol Wojtyla), the first non-Italian Pope in 455 years.

Second-
Right after he was named Pope, our Religion teacher inundated us with literature on Pope John Paul II. The church's PR machine wasted no time in letting the faithful know who their vicar was. We studied his life from his childhood in Poland to his ascent to the supreme position in the Catholic Church. I think it was also done to prepare the Filipino nation for the scheduled Papal visit in 1980. One of his first stops was a big park called Quezon City Circle, a couple of miles from where I lived. My family made our way there to hear the papal address. I remember being perched on my Dad's shoulder waving to the Pope on stage, several feet away. I liked to imagine then that when he waved right back, it was to me, and not to the sea of people that were all around me. I no longer go to the Catholic Church for my spiritual feeding and I may have some views that are quite different from the Pope's, but I still have a a fondness and respect for him.

Third-
As many mourn, they also wait in bated breath for that white smoke to come out of that chimney. It signifies the election of a new pope. Whoever it turns out to be will have his work cut out for him. Karol Wojtyla seems like a tough act to follow.

What's Up With That?

I don't understand this country. They fervently fight to make capital punishment for convicted criminals as painless and humane as possible, so they came up with lethal injection. However, they will let an upstanding person, whom they say are in a vegetative state (although this is still in argument) and can't feed and fend for herself, die of thirst and starvation.

http://www.cnn.com/2005/LAW/03/24/schiavo/index.html

http://www.terrisfight.net/

Without a written will, how can we be sure 'beyond reasonable doubt' that what she wanted was to be starved to death now that she is what society calls "useless"?

Happy Birthday, Dad.

Today is my Dad's birthday. According to his driver's license, he would have been seventy-two. He died of heart failure the day before New Year's eve in 2002.

To his friends and colleagues, he was this noted journalist and political analyst who was not afraid to voice his opinion on the current state of affairs in the Philippines. To me, he was Daddy, whose chest I loved resting on while he did his crossword puzzles in bed. I was Daddy's girl, at least until the day he left. I was only 12.

From then on, it was hard to reconcile the father I knew who was loving and gentle in every way (even in the way he disciplined us), to the man who chose to leave us rather than try to rebuild our family and cohabitate with another woman. I know now that relationships are complicated and rebuilding a marriage is easier said than done with two very imperfect people.

In my view, my father led a less-than-ideal life. After such a promising start, I don't think he ever lived up to his fullest potential due to the few poor choices he made during mid-life. Nevertheless, my father had qualities that I unconsciously honed in me throughout the years I was growing up. As I sought to forgive him bit by bit, the way he came through any conversations I had with him, whether pleasant or serious, made a deep impression on me. His patient and calm demeanor, his very gentle and affectionate ways, the respect he accorded, and the thoughtful and quiet way he would opine and inquire in conversations, never overbearing or pushy.

Dad was no saint, and I am not going to be dishonest and say that he was, just because he's passed on. There were many things that he did that disappointed us. But he is my father and I do love him, warts and all. No matter what mistakes he did, he's contributed largely to who and the way I am today. My brother told me once that I am like him in many ways. It made me smile. I liked hearing that. I really did.

Happy Birthday, Dad.

Modern Chain Letters

I have come across chain letters since I was in grade school. I received a number of them from friends throughout my primary and secondary years in school. It would come in the form of a supposed prayer to a favorite saint who will readily grant you the first thing you wish for. There were conditions though. You had to copy that letter ten or twenty times and pass it on to friends. This seems like an easy enough task, but then personal computers did not exist back then. You had to handwrite everything, one by one. Also, it came with a curse. It stated that if you failed to do it, something bad will happen to you and/or your loved ones. It outlined many instances of people who supposedly had their wishes granted after complying, and tragedies that occurred to people who refused to believe in the letter. Gullible as I was, I remember suffering many 'handaches' then trying to make 20 copies and distribute them to prevent any bad luck for me and my family.

Today, I continually receive the modern, electronic versions of these pesky little letters. It is now made more annoying as those who forward it have unwittingly advertised your email address to spammers. We all should know by now that forwarded messages are the spammers' way to glean email addresses for marketing purposes. So not only do you get a curse on your head when you receive these things, your inbox gets crammed with junk email selling cheaper prescription drugs in Canada, porn site invitations, and worse, you can get a computer virus. There is also the more sinister 'phishing' emails that pose as a legitimate businesses trying to get your bank/credit card information. So you can actually put your friends and family in a bad situation if you do it!

So please, folks, think before you click on 'Forward'. Don't believe everything you receive. A lot of those emails are hoaxes, and you can check at www.snopes.com ! If you really feel it is something you must forward (really hilarious jokes or truly important information that can help), do the blind carbon copy option so everyone's email addresses are hidden.

"Huh? What the...?!"

That was the reaction of some people during my performance last Sunday. Right before the show's overture, I was quietly whispering the lyrics of my song to myself and then I got stuck. I was having a major brain fart. For the life of me, I could not remember one line. I panicked but could not do anything as I heard the opening notes. I thought that, surely, memory would kick in at the precise moment and take over. I had two numbers to go through before it got to my song and I couldn't stress about it, lest I ruin my other lines in the first two numbers. So I went through the first two numbers with as much chutzpah as the role called for, without a hitch. My song came next. It started out fine but in the middle of it, my mind went blank. In my panic, my mouth just threw out a line that matched with the melody. That's good, right? Well, not really. Because it wasn't my line but someone else's, and it totally threw off the next three lines I was singing. I did not let my expression waver one bit. I calmly switched to the right lyrics the first moment I could. The funny thing is, I had mistakenly sung two verses that were supposed to be sung later, so I had to sing it again at the right time. As I sang (and prayed), my mind tried to frantically paraphrase so the audience wouldn't go, "Hmmm, she said that already!". Boy, can our brains multi-task or what?! Anyway, let's just say I am not as good as Audie Gemora at making up lyrics on the spot. I tried but failed miserably. I just tried to dazzle the audience with my belting ability (naks naman!) so they would not notice. I think the hardest thing after that was keeping a straight face. I was furious at myself for having a gaffe like that. At the same time, I wanted to burst out laughing at the stupidity of what I had just uttered.

Oh, did I mention that there was a critic in the audience? Wunnerful. Just wunnerful.

I, Me, My and Myself

"I am the center of the universe and everyone else revolves around me."

This must be the daily mantra of some people. They live totally for themselves and take whatever they can get from people around them.

When in need, they do not hesitate to demand for help. Notice, I did not say "ask". They actually make you feel like you owe it to them. In contrast, when they are asked for any help or favor, they try every ruse to avoid extending themselves in any way. When all excuses are exhausted, they make you go through the wringer and a whole lecture before they grudgingly give in to any request, no matter if you are asking the favor on someone else's behalf. What's more, they make sure that the 'help' they extend is rubbed in and never forgotten. I guess it's very seldom that they do something for others that they think they deserve a ticker-tape parade when it happens. It amazes me how anyone can morph into that kind of human being. What kind of nurturing have they had for them to turn out so darn selfish?

No, I haven't had any recent incidents that I have to vent about it here now. I'm just stating an observation on behavior that I have witnessed a few times. It makes me wonder how a person can live that way. It must not be a very happy existence.

Fame and Notoriety

A few weeks back, Hubby and I were listening to the news as usual before we left for work. Two of the biggest figures of pop in the early 80's are once again hogging the music headlines. As a teenager in that decade, I was an avid listener to both Michael Jackson and Prince's music. Both were the most notable acts in their niche in pop. Michael Jackson kept a wholesome image despite his fame and gargantuan pop idol status, while Prince had a huge following and was notorious for his edgy and risqué music. Today, Prince, who is making quite a comeback and is the biggest moneymaker of the year, has shown a more mellow side, while Michael Jackson, the wholesome boy, has become this unrecognizable, seemingly androgynous creature that resembles a wax figure and is in the headlines because he has been slapped yet again with another child molestation suit.

Eventhough I loved his music, Prince used to scare me a bit. He seemed like this lascivious (based on the double entendres in his songs) deviant that was headed for the deep end. I guess it was some sort of a phase or maybe his media packaging because now, he is as normal as a pop artist can be in the volatile world that is showbusiness. Who would have thought that twenty years later it was going to be Michael Jackson who would turn freaky?

Applause and Woohoos

I guess I looked like death warmed over yesterday. I had missed work the previous day but came to work to meet some deadlines. My boss told me, "It's going to be slow tomorrow. I'm serious, why don't you take the day off and get well?" He said it again right before I went home. So today, I decided to stay home and rest, physically and mentally preparing myself for the shows this weekend starting tonight.

Last weekend's run went very well. We had our best show thus far on Saturday night. The high energy of the cast and the great enthusiasm of the audience made for a highly-charged evening. The cast gave their all, and the audience lapped it up. They were reacting to everything, and crying and laughing at all the right moments. It was also the night that most of my 'posse' came to watch, so I had an extra warm round of applause and a lot of 'woohoos' when my turn to bow came along. Among those in the audience were M's family, a former roommate, some friends from my office, M's officemates, and a couple of friends from Manila. My friend, Mia, who was part of the German cast of this same show, flew in. She claims to be my biggest fan (right...) and wanted to see me perform. It was also a chance for her to reminisce when she played 'Gigi', which is the same role I was doing. A lot of the cast members were aware that she was coming and were quite pleased to meet her. She really enjoyed the show, as did everyone else that I know who came. Of course, Mia and I stayed up talking until 3:30 am just dissecting the Gigi character and discussing the show. It was fun, at least for us. M fell asleep!

It was a really enjoyable weekend. For an artist, there's nothing like doing a good show and a bunch of people that you love watching you perform in it. It is very special moment.

...And We're Open!

Opening weekend went quite well. In fact, it was so much better than we had hoped for, in terms of attendance and feedback. We knew we had a good show but were unsure of how people would react to a minimalist staging of a big show. Even some of the critics were pretty wary at first, but we have gotten great reviews so far. The only comments that we have had were about a mic not working properly for one actor, and a piece of set that a reviewer thought was crucial to a scene.

The next show is on Thursday but there is a forecast for a snowstorm. If we are fortunate, the storm will not be that bad and the show will go on. After the encouraging response, all of us are raring to go back there on stage and improve on an already 'good' show!

Here's hoping for an even better weekend.

:)

Break A Leg!

Well, this is it, folks! My theatrical debut in the United States happens today. It is community theatre, but is similar in many ways to my experience in Philippine professional theatre. Of course, the main difference is budget. But this theatre group, no matter how small has not balked in taking on a huge show, and it has done everything it could within its limitations. All the actors receive is a small stipend, but personally, I consider the experience really worthwhile and valuable, especially in terms of the new friends I have made. There's nothing like a bunch of people working together to try and put out something beautiful, for the love of the art.

Two and a half months of hard work, braving winter weather to attend rehearsals until late at night culminates tonight. Our show opens at 8:00 pm and will run for the next six weekends. Yes, I am nervous, not for me necessarily, but for the whole show. I want it to turn out as best as a big show in a little theatre possibly could. Pray for us!

Break a leg!!!

A Nice Nor'easter Welcome!

Hubby and I really enjoyed our recent vacation. The fact that we got hit by a Nor'easter (a New England term for Blizzard) the moment we got back to Boston made us regret coming home even more. Over two feet of snow were dumped on us. It's like Mother Nature rubbing in reality and saying, "Welcome home, kiddos!" Looking out from your window after a blizzard is quite an experience as every single thing is covered in this nice, white, fluffy snow. It makes you want to go out and make snowangels and snowmen. Having to dig your way out afterwards, however, is not a pleasant experience. All this typical northeastern weather made us revisit our fresh San Francisco memories again and again.

Each time I go to San Francisco, it just affirms my predilection for it over any other city in the United States. We had a great time in the city and seeing the sites around it, as well. We did the usual, Union Square, Coit Tower, Lombard Street, Fisherman's Wharf/Pier 39 and Ghirardelli Square. We had a nightcap at buzzling University Avenue in Palo Alto, dinner and coffee in Cupertino (Apple's headquarters) in South Bay, and walked through the streets on the coast of Sausalito. We went to Monterey to see its breathtaking shoreline along the 17-Mile Drive, all the way to Carmel-by-the-Sea. The seascape was made all the more captivating as it was lined with different rock formations and countless Cypress Trees. We even spotted a whale frolicking in the distant waters, spouting water high into the air from its blowhole. It's the kind of sight that makes you glad to be alive.

We also made sure we visited Muir Woods, a national monument where you can find California Redwoods and Sequoias. We wandered inside the forest preserve in awe as we saw huge redwoods that were as wide as we were tall. Some trees were so huge that you can camp in a hollow part of its trunk. There was a cluster of trees where they commemorated the creation of the United Nations, and even ones that dated back to the American Revolution. Just thinking about that made us feel so finite. These trees have been there hundreds of years before we were born, and will remain there long after we die. They have witnessed events that we only read about in books. They have gone through the changes this world constantly brings upon its inhabitants. I imagined the different generations of people that have walked under its branches, whether to camp, to forage and hunt, or to pass through on their way to some distant destination. And here we were in the new year of 2005, walking the same paths those people of old walked. What an indescribable feeling that is. Even nicer that I have the company of Hubby who shares the same appreciation for such things. I love traveling with him.

Uh-oh, the weather forecast predicts another snowstorm. Back to my cold reality!

My Very First Friend

Hubby and I arrived via the red-eye this morning from our little trek to San Francisco. We had been invited to a wedding and decided that we might was well turn it into a mini-vacation while we were there.

The wedding was that of my very first friend. We were playmates from when we were about two or three years old, as our families had moved to the same neighborhood at around the same time. We were inseparable! Our families were close as well and we went on vacations together a couple of times. We spent a lot of after-school hours and summers together playing indoor and outdoor games (patintero, taguan (hide-n-seek), chato, agawan-base), yakking, role-playing, doing things that ranged from the silly to the gross. Then when we were ten, our friendship, as we knew it, ended abruptly when her family moved away from the Philippines for good. Both of us were left in the dark about the move until after the fact. It left a deep disappointment in both our hearts that we never got to properly say goodbye. We remained quite close through letters until we were about fourteen. By then, I imagine that teenage life took over and left us both with no time to write. We lost touch. I had often wondered about her through the years but I had lost her address and I had moved. When the internet era dawned, I tried to search for her periodically but it never turned up anything solid. Around November 2003, it hit me that I should be looking her father up instead of her as there was no way that he would change his name. Besides, I thought that he was probably the sort of person who would be listed in the phone book. So I hit the anywho.com website and voila, there was the number. I made that phone call and it started a chain reaction that led me to my long lost friend. We practically picked up from where we left off and started talking almost every day online. We caught up on how our lives went from when we last saw each other, to sharing everything that was taking place in the present, including her engagement five months later, to the planning of the details of her wedding and honeymoon. It culminated in our physical reunion last Saturday, a little over a year after we started talking and twenty-five years after we last saw each other. My first sight was of her walking down the aisle with her dad, in all her bridal glory. Her face is as pretty as I remembered but gone was the little, scrawny body I knew. She filled her gorgeous gown beautifully and was every bit the picture of a radiant bride. Our tearful reunion came later on when she was done with all the formalities of the wedding ceremony, and we were in the less structured atmosphere of the wedding reception. Her hubby and mine hit it off as well, although they had heard of each other before, as my friend and I constantly exchanged stories and photos in the year that we were doing catch up. The wedding was beautiful and we had the greatest time. It was made even more memorable because of our special circumstances. We even got the chance to squeeze in a dinner with them before they hied off to their honeymoon in the Philippines and Japan.

To Vic and Dan, the very best wishes from M and I for an incredible honeymoon and a long life together of unending blessings.

More later on the rest of the vacation...stay tuned!

Attitude

Two years ago, I worked for a foremost and well-respected design company. It was part of my job to write, compile and send out a summary of our notable projects to international clients. In my research, I came across a project that one of our teams undertook for 2002. It was the design of the memorial for the headquarters of TJX (TJ Maxx) in memory of their seven employees that perished in the 9/11 attacks. The husband of one employee came upon a book that she was reading before her death. It was a book by Charles Swindoll, and his wife had bookmarked a particular page which contained a passage that she loved. It left such a deep impression on him that he decided to have it inscribed in her memorial. This is what it says:

ATTITUDE
by Charles Swindoll

The longer I live, the more I realize the impact of attitude on life. Attitude, to me, is more important than facts. It is more important than the past, than education, than money, than circumstances, than failures, than successes, than what other people think or say or do. It is more important than appearance, giftedness or skill. It will make or break a company, a church, a home. The remarkable thing is we have a choice every day regarding the attitude we embrace for that day. We cannot change our past. We cannot change the fact that people will act in a certain way. We cannot change the inevitable. The only thing we can do is play on the one string we have, and that is our attitude. I am convinced that life is 10% what happens to me and 90% how I react to it. And so it is with you. We are in charge of our attitudes.

I have read some books by Charles Swindoll and found his writings to be extremely inspiring. I never came across this particular piece of writing until then. The beauty and the truth of it struck me so hard that I transcribed it, and shared it to everyone I knew via email. It is something I try to remember every single day from the very first day I read it.

Now that 2005 is upon us, I reflect on it once again, praying that no matter what the year brings to me and my family, that we will continue to let these words, and the strength of our faith, translate freely into our lives.