Back to Reality

Lito&Pia
Originally uploaded by MadMuse.

After a nice break in Florida for Thanksgiving and a niece's wedding, we are now back to reality - back to our hectic work schedule and to living in our house, out of the boxes that we have yet to unpack.

At my request, Lito Villareal obliged and flew to Florida to sing "The Prayer" with me for the wedding. We started singing together when we were in our teens. And now, decades later, it's nice to know that we still share, not only the same musical chemistry, but the same ridiculous sense of humor like before. Yes, many things in life change, but some things remain the same. That's very comforting - kind of like a nice, King-sized pillow - kind of like Lito. :)

Maraming Salamat

It's been a wild couple of months - home-buying, business trip, moving, unpacking and trying to settle in our new home while still trying to live and do the day-to-day stuff. It's been quite a ride! We're not even finished unpacking, and we're off in a couple of days to sunny Florida for Thanksgiving and a family wedding. Truthfully, I would rather stay and finish settling into the house just because I hate leaving things in disarray - but family commitments are a priority. Some of them anyway. :) Besides, I've asked an old friend to sing with me in the wedding. It's been at least seven years since Lito Villareal and I sang and were onstage together in Manila. It will be great to sing again with an old friend, especially one whom I think has one of the best singing voices I've ever heard.

Hubby and I have a lot to be thankful for this coming holiday. Year 6 has been packed with blessings - pressed down, shaken together and running over. That goes, as well, for our gratitude to God, close family and friends who have been and are with us all throughout.

Maraming Salamat talaga! :)

Going Offline

Okay, folks. Since Comcast did not come through with their promise to get us connected with cable and internet yesterday, we're not sure when they are going to get around to it. In the meantime, I am going offline and will try to get settled into our new place as soon as possible. Hopefully, it won't be too long until we're back online.

Hope to catch you all then!

Done Deal

It's a done deal! A few days ago, we closed on our house and got our keys. We are now officially slaves of the Bank for the next 30 years. Never did I think that I would be happy to be enslaved. :)

Yesterday, we went to Home Depot to buy a few appliances that the house was still missing. Today, we lined up at 7:30 am for an hour and a half to get into the Crate and Barrel warehouse sale a few towns away. We managed to snag a nice, big dining table for a quarter of the original price. Yeah, it has a few scratches but it's nothing that a table runner can't hide. We picked out a few more things and tore ourselves away. There were a few other pieces that we would have wanted to get but we decided that we had spent enough. It was totally out of our usual spending pattern that the bank actually called us after we got home to verify our purchases!

And now, to pack. I wish we could fast-forward and skip the entire thing. It's the part of this entire process that I would rather do without!

Grammar gone wrong

Lately, I have noticed that my English grammar has suffered quite a bit. I used to be able to spot errors instantaneously, be it verbal or written. Now, it takes a few seconds before it registers in my brain. Sometimes, I don't even notice it at all.

Living in the US these last seven years has made me relax about grammar. People in the Philippines, who speak the language fluently will consider it funny when they hear grammatical errors. There, Filipino comedians doing a script with pidgin' English always elicit raucous laughter.

Here, one butchers the language and nobody gives a hoot. Besides, I don't think anyone can do worse than all those rap songs that hold the airwaves captive these days. So, I have taken to asking Hubby to proofread whatever I write, in case rap songs have made their permanent mark in the area of my brain where my linguistic capabilities lie, and manifest itself in my business correspondences and work projects.

Er...Hunni, can you proofread my blog too?

On Pins & Needles

In a little more than a week from now, should everything go as smoothly as from when it started two weeks ago, we are scheduled to close on the house that we chose. I can't say that it is our dream house but it's a pretty darn good house to start with - a charming colonial on the side of a hill, in a quaint neighborhood, a few miles from the city. The house is in move-in condition although we have a few updates in mind already for some areas in the future.

Someone told me five years ago that if we didn't buy then, we would never be able to afford anything ever. And she was actually voicing a fear that I had, but somehow my faith kicked in and I responded, "If God wants us to have a house, He will give it to us at the location that we want, and at the price we can afford." True enough, we found this house in the place we've dreamed of living at a price that we would consider miraculous for the area. Who says God doesn't grant us our dreams if we allow Him to work on it?

Please pray for a smooth and speedy closing. :)

One To Call Our Own

We have decided to bite the bullet and find a home of our own. After years of waiting, it's finally a buyer's market and we're jumping into the fray. It will be a tedious and tough month, but totally worth it -- or so I'm told.

Here's to a couple of years of eating only Ramen, wearing old and worn-out clothes, and staying at home during long weekends, holidays and vacations.

To our dear family and friends, we're afraid that you won't get your usual gifts this year and next. Oh, and if you still do think of giving us a gift for our birthdays and Christmas, please consider a Home Depot or Lowe's gift card. :)

We covet your prayers!

Foolish Advice

I know of this young, twenty-something girl who's having an affair with a married man. The man, supposedly going through a rough patch in his marriage and is 'temporarily' separated, has sought solace in the arms of this naive, young virgin. Of course, she only knows what he's told her as they see each other in secret - and since they have no mutual friends to verify anything he's said, she's taken his word as gospel.

She considers herself bound to him just because she lost "it" to him. I basically told her that falling for the wrong guy is not that uncommon because it's something from which we can glean great lessons and move on, and that she deserves a man who can commit himself fully only to her. As expected, it was not received too well. Another person egged her on by saying that we all make mistakes and learn from them - but that she's young only once and should to live it up and enjoy.

The affair itself did not shock me. We are all human and do make mistakes in different ways, but that advice did. How can someone give that kind of counsel? Live it up and enjoy? Enjoy...for how long? What and how much will one do for momentary enjoyment? Broken families, wrecked homes, unplanned pregnancy, hurt children growing up with philandering parents who continue the cycle and do it to their own spouse and children, etc.? Is all that worth someone's temporary pleasure?

It sometimes takes one foolish choice to trigger events and set our lives to a certain path, as well as affect others' irrevocably.

No matter how crazy our lives and choices become, deep down in our guts, we know what's right. I have no problems with foolish acts. After all, we all have our share of them. I do, however, have a problem with foolish advice.

Out of the Mouth of Babes

Dannyboy

While I was talking to my sister-in-law on the phone a few hours ago, Danny, her 3-year-old son (our godson) went to the bathroom by himself to pee. After she hung up with me, she went to the bathroom to check on him.

"Did you do peepee in the toilet?" she asked.

"Yes, Mommy!" He answered.

My sister-in-law responds, "Bravoooooooo, Danny! You are such a good boy!"

He then proudly adds, "Mommy, I did peepee in the toilet, and poopoo on the floor, then I took it from the floor, I put in the toilet and I flushed -- ALL BY MYSELF!"

ROFL!

"This house is clean."

No, we didn't hire an exorcist to get rid of a poltergeist. We hired someone to scrub our place clean, down to the hard-to-reach corners.

Hubby and I have been working late a lot recently, so we haven't had the energy to pick up the broom and scrubbing pad to clean thoroughly during the weekends. But even on a good day with our best efforts, our work cannot compare to that of a professional. To an allergy-sufferer like me, not having to deal with dusting gives me some assurance that I'm going to be holding off those histamine-ridden episodes for a bit.

It is an awesome feeling to see our hardwood floors, fixtures and appliances gleam like new. Others treat themselves to a day in the spa. This is my spa day, seeing my place sparkle without having to be the one to do it.

Where Were You?

I was quietly sitting at my desk trying to start the day when I heard the news. I was working for a design firm west of Boston, and our office was already bustling with activity.

"A second plane had crashed into the World Trade Center," someone exclaimed. That was the point when we knew for sure that the first one was no accident. One or two people had casually mentioned the first plane that plowed into the World Trade Center but everyone thought it was a freak accident and continued working. A big television appeared out of nowhere and was placed in the middle of the office. Everyone left their cubicles and fixed their eyes on the biggest tragedy to unfold on American soil in a long time. After watching replay upon replay of the Twin Towers crumbling, everyone walked back like zombies to their cubicle - but no one could work. Everyone just surfed the internet - hungry for more news.

My phone rang. I answered to the anxious voice of my Mom, calling my office for the very first time. She had heard that the two of the planes used by the terrorists had come from Boston, so she was making sure that I was safely in my office and not traveling somewhere. Her relief was palpable as I assured her that I was okay. She hung up comforted, but still shocked at the enormity of what was happening in the world that day.

That was where I was on this day, five years ago.

Have a good laugh!

I saw this at my friend, Chari's blog. My vanity could not resist it so I decided to try it out. According to the site's face recognition software, these are the celebrities I resemble. Riiiiiight....


I hope they don't use this in crime prevention. They're way off! If I really resembled these people, I would be making the big bucks, too.

Indecent Proposal

The little boy and I waited at the security office of this mall. I didn't want to leave him alone with a couple of security guards, not with the horror stories I have heard of grown men abusing little boys and girls. I tried to comfort him as he whimpered, assuring him that his parents were on their way.

I had found him while shopping at the mall. He was probably about three years old, wandering around by himself, crying. I sat on my haunches to meet his gaze and asked him if he was looking for Mommy and Daddy. He nodded while crying loudly. I gave him my hand and told him that I was going to help him find Mommy and Daddy. So he willingly took it and continued crying as I led him to the security office of the mall.

Finally, the parents arrived. Both Mom and Dad were ecstatic to find their boy and thanked me profusely. I said I was glad to be of help, exchanged business cards and said goodbye.

I didn't give it a second thought until my pager started beeping later that evening. The message was from the father thanking me again for finding his boy earlier, and reminding me that if there was anything they could do for me, to not hesitate to ask.

I get another message even later in the night. This time, the message said that he couldn't stop thinking of me, asking if he could please see me again and to please call him. Here was this man, whose child I found, and wife I had met along with him, asking me to basically start an affair. I ignored the message and the others that followed the next several days after that.

This happened years ago when I was still living in Manila. It came to mind because I had been having a discussion with an old friend about indecent proposals. A young woman had struck up a conversation with him while he was having dinner alone at a restaurant. When he told her he was married, she flippantly said that she didn't care. She did not think twice about flirting with a married man many years older than she was, because she fancied him. My friend, whose wife had an affair not long ago and has been practically ignoring him since, was understandably flattered. He felt the affirmation and appreciation that his wife hasn't given him in a long time. Despite this, he did not pursue it, although it did make him pause and think.

His vulnerability made me think of my own vulnerability when it happened to me years ago. I was going through a very surreal and rough end to my first marriage. The only difference was I was lucky that that flagrant and indecent proposal I got was from a man that was not my type at all. His came from a young, attractive woman at the peak of his marital problems.

From what I have experienced, heard and read, there seems to be a lot more 'indecent proposals' going around these days. I don't think anyone will be completely shielded from temptation, especially since there are people who are only too willing to do the tempting.

However, that doesn't mean we can't fortify our relationships against it. Have you hugged and told your spouse "I love you" today? That's probably the first step.

C A N

"I can't."

I don't think I can ever say this lightly again after seeing this video.




Rick and Dick Hoyt have shown all of us that our physical limitations and setbacks do not have to hold us back. It can, in fact, lead us into things that are much greater than what this superficial world values.

Trying to patiently wait

I think the toughest thing about pursuing something is not the steps that you have to go through in trying to attain it, it is that period of waiting for the result. I am in that very character-forming time right now. :)

I have told myself and countless others during times like these in the past, that God is not so much concerned with the results, as much as He is concerned with how we deal with our process. So day by day, I just try to live and do everything with as much integrity as I can muster and know that whatever happens, it will always work out for the best for me.

Now, the best does not necessarily mean that I get whatever I'm going after. In the past, I have come very close and have had doors close on me at the last possible moment. And for a long time after that, I would be disappointed, questioning why it did not go the way I wanted. That is, until something even better happens which would not have, had I gotten what I originally wanted.

If I don't get this particular pursuit, I know I will be disappointed. But I know that disappointment won't be for very long, because now I am also learning to watch in patient anticipation as to how God will turn things out for even better than what I originally wanted. I have seen Him do it before. I know He will do it again. It's going to be fascinating to watch.

In the meantime, I wait.

Birthweek

It's been a while now since I started celebrating my birth week instead of my birthday. It's because it's just hard to cram all the great things I want to do in one whole day, especially if my birthday lands on a weekday.

Greetings and Lunches
It has been an awesome week, really - more than I had hoped for or expected. Hubby surprised me with a beautiful and humungous arrangement of roses at work that everyone raved about and won him the admiration of my co-workers. He also prepared a wine and lobster dinner for me at home. All throughout that day and the whole week, I received warm greetings from everyone I loved via hugs, kisses, phone calls, emails and cards and got taken out to more birthday lunches than my weight really needed.

Dixied Chick
That Saturday, we were able to get suite tickets to the Dixie Chicks concert at the TD Banknorth Garden. The whole place was packed but we had a suite practically to ourselves. It had its own private bathroom, a living area, a bar and a buffet table. A glass sliding door opened to a small balcony with two rows of seats to view the show. We ordered some food and drinks and our friend, who worked as a restaurant manager in the facility, brought us a bottle of Pinot Grigio. When our original invitees could not make it, we invited a couple of elderly ladies, who were avid Dixie Chicks fans and had nosebleed tickets, to join us in the suite. Their gratitude and enthusiasm really made our night! It was a great show. I have always liked the Dixie Chicks because I love trio harmonies, but this show has made a ‘dixied chick’ out of me. Watching them live was really exhilarating!

Cake Fight
On Sunday, we had a co-celebration barbecue with my SIL whose birthday was a few days after mine. I got to do what I had been itching to do all week – and that is smother and mash the birthday cake on the faces Hubby’s four nephews and nieces right after they sang the birthday song. I had to run after them a little bit, but got them really good. In several minutes, the four of them were laughing through their frosting-covered faces. Of course, they exacted their revenge rather quickly and I found myself with cake on my face and whatever part of my body they could reach.

Let’s Go Red Sox!
On the last day of my week-long celebration, I headed towards Yawkey Way to the historic Fenway Park and watched my first live Major League Baseball game, along with Hubby, BIL and his son. It was a game between the Boston Red Sox and the Cleveland Indians. We had awesome box seats that were as close as we could get to the home plate without being in the field. Needless to say, our seats offered us the best view of the game. It was great to finally experience something that I had only seen on TV and in the movies before – American baseball tradition, complete with the vendors and their overpriced Fenway franks and drinks, the die-hard Red Sox fans cheering and booing, the baseball players spitting, grabbing their crotch and playing great baseball. To top off the experience, the home team won!

It was truly a fun-packed birthday week. We couldn’t have planned it better than how God made it all unfold. I have Him to thank, along with Hubby and my loved ones, for making it extra special.

Showing Gratitude

Whether we admit it or not, the people that we most take for granted are usually the ones who have given to us freely and without measure.

It has weighed on my mind lately because I keep seeing individuals who are in need of help not even ask nicely, but instead expect it - and if they don't receive it, actually demand it. People have extended their hands to them all their lives that they now think of it as a right, and no longer a privilege. They feel a false sense of entitlement, simply because people who love them have met their needs without them having to ask. They even forget to show appreciation after they get what they want.

Consequently, no matter how much they are loved, that kind of behavior never fails to cause that well of love and generosity to start to go dry. There's no faster "drying agent" than ingratitude.

We are all guilty of ingratitude. From the people who try to live solely on welfare or government assistance, to the help given by our extended and immediate family, and finally to the guidance, provision and love of God.

Sadly, for most of us, the only time the cold reality of our callousness and ingratitude will only dawn on us, is when we lose that supply of love and generosity that we have so depended on but sorely taken for granted. That is the only time we realize how much our loved ones and others have enriched our lives.

So before that happens, we should practice some humility and show our appreciation. Try to remember the very basic lesson that hopefully all our parents have taught us. Say "please" when we need or want something that we cannot do for ourselves, and "thank you" when it is given or offered to us. Two simple but powerful phrases. Be reminded that people owe us nothing. Whatever they do for us, they do out of kindness and sometimes just unconditional love. Let us try not to abuse it, but to respect and reciprocate it.

Pissing Matches

I've come across a few people who love to have pissing matches. A fierce need (a.k.a. insecurity) to display their supposed mental prowess probably drives them to always show off their acquired knowledge. They will argue points that you're not arguing with them about, and they will play devil's advocate to any issue discussed disregarding whatever personal experience you have had about the subject matter. They want to convince you that your experience was somehow faulty, or just plain imagined - because really now, they know better.

I get tired listening to such people. That's why when I hear them starting again, I shift my attention to something or someone else and leave them to the other conversation participants (a.k.a victims). I consider them conversation perverts - those who like people to watch or listen to them while they do mental and verbal masturbation as the pleasure in the discourse is theirs alone.

Pissing matches really solve nothing because in the end - no matter who pisses higher, all you have is a whole lot of piss.

Can you tell that I am royally pissed? :)

Waxing Nostalgic

I was in the kitchen cooking when I heard this very familiar song blaring from Hubby's hobby room. Memories came unbidden and brought me back to the younger, crazier, carefree days of my life. He apparently stumbled upon it online while researching on Tagalog. It just so happened that it was a cut from one of Gary Valenciano's concerts of years ago when I toured with him as back up and guest singer. I started singing, dancing - basically going wild. Hubby was quite entertained, but still a bit puzzled. In between verses of singing, I managed to spit out that I was part of that live recording of the concert, that at some points, one of the voices that he was hearing was mine.

Before he could express more of his surprise, I went to look for the CDs of the concert. Now, here I am in my room with that concert blasting along with the recorded screaming of the Araneta Coliseum audience in my ear, recapturing the goosebumps that would envelop us onstage before when 30,000 people started screaming, dancing and stomping their feet during a concert.

It seems like another person's life when I look back. Now I'm here, in a totally different world, working in banking and finance, devoid of anything that colored my life back then. It's during times like this when I get quite homesick and miss everything I had going on back then in Manila.

I'm not ungrateful for what I have right now, not at all. God has given me a chance to explore other worlds and allowed me to flourish in it. Here, I have had the chance to discover and hone talents other than those in the arts. I have found another kind of satisfaction in what I do now, albeit different.

So here I sit, hoping that somewhere in this nostalgic moment, I find some inspiration to write two promised articles. But the way my mind gone off into memory lane, I don't think I'll have much progress tonight.

Boy, Girl, Bakla, Tomboy

Check out Pride & Prejudice, PINOYexpats’ latest edition tackling homosexuality. Tin did an excellent job in leading this issue. Meet our Pinoy brothers and sisters who share their deepest feelings about their orientation and lifestyle. Don’t miss this very poignant issue.