Saturday, August 26, 2006

Indecent Proposal

The little boy and I waited at the security office of this mall. I didn't want to leave him alone with a couple of security guards, not with the horror stories I have heard of grown men abusing little boys and girls. I tried to comfort him as he whimpered, assuring him that his parents were on their way.

I had found him while shopping at the mall. He was probably about three years old, wandering around by himself, crying. I sat on my haunches to meet his gaze and asked him if he was looking for Mommy and Daddy. He nodded while crying loudly. I gave him my hand and told him that I was going to help him find Mommy and Daddy. So he willingly took it and continued crying as I led him to the security office of the mall.

Finally, the parents arrived. Both Mom and Dad were ecstatic to find their boy and thanked me profusely. I said I was glad to be of help, exchanged business cards and said goodbye.

I didn't give it a second thought until my pager started beeping later that evening. The message was from the father thanking me again for finding his boy earlier, and reminding me that if there was anything they could do for me, to not hesitate to ask.

I get another message even later in the night. This time, the message said that he couldn't stop thinking of me, asking if he could please see me again and to please call him. Here was this man, whose child I found, and wife I had met along with him, asking me to basically start an affair. I ignored the message and the others that followed the next several days after that.


This happened years ago when I was still living in Manila. It came to mind because I had been having a discussion with an old friend about indecent proposals. A young woman had struck up a conversation with him while he was having dinner alone at a restaurant. When he told her he was married, she flippantly said that she didn't care. She did not think twice about flirting with a married man many years older than she was, because she fancied him. My friend, whose wife had an affair not long ago and has been practically ignoring him since, was understandably flattered. He felt the affirmation and appreciation that his wife hasn't given him in a long time. Despite this, he did not pursue it, although it did make him pause and think.

His vulnerability made me think of my own vulnerability when it happened to me years ago. I was going through a very surreal and rough end to my first marriage. The only difference was I was lucky that that flagrant and indecent proposal I got was from a man that was not my type at all. His came from a young, attractive woman at the peak of his marital problems.

From what I have experienced, heard and read, there seems to be a lot more 'indecent proposals' going around these days. I don't think anyone will be completely shielded from temptation, especially since there are people who are only too willing to do the tempting.

However, that doesn't mean we can't fortify our relationships against it. Have you hugged and told your spouse "I love you" today? That's probably the first step.

3 comments:

Anonymous said...

i think every man and woman in a relationship experiences being tempted, and in times like those, one doesnt have to think for one's self alone but also about others that will be hurt and affected.

illicit affairs are only sweet for a time. they also come to an end, and most of the time, more wounding than the previous. an aunt once told us, it only takes 30 minutes or less to exhaust that 'heat'.

The Menhabees said...

It scares me to know that there are a lot of those careless, irresponsible people out there. Their joy is to see other people's lives destroyed, just like theirs. And, many people today follow their desires and don't think twice before they cheat on their spouses. For them, having an affair is like having a cup of coffee. The funniest justification I heard was: "that's what keeps my marriage going, and kills the bordom!!!!"

It's so sad to see how many innocent people have to suffer because of such cruelity and immorality.

EchoV said...

Yes, I have! But thanks for the reminder. I'd hate to think of what can happen if my husband starts to get more affirmation from someone else rather than me, especially with those homewreckers lurking about everywhere we go.