Luxury With Heart

"So sense and sensibility won over beauty and luxury!" That was what a friend said when I told him that Hubby and I took home the new 2005 Honda Accord Hybrid. He knew it was a toss up between that and the Infiniti G35, which we had been lusting for in the last couple of years. We compared the two in fuel consumption, luxury options, cost of maintenance, reputation and reliability. We decided that even if it lost on looks, the trusty Honda Accord Hybrid fits our needs better in the long run, than the oh-so-sexy Infiniti G35. The fact that the Accord has been in Car & Driver's 10 best for an unprecedented 19 years, compared to Infiniti's 2 years, helped. And now with the rumors circulating that Hurrican Rita may cause gas prices to go up yet again, we know we made the right choice.

People say that the fuel savings you get on the Hybrid does not make up for paying premium for the car. We really did not get it for that reason. We got it, not only to support and encourage this alternative technology, but to have peace of mind in the knowledge that luxurious does not necessarily mean heartless. One can have a nice, comfortable, powerful car and still be guzzling less gas and spewing less emissions into our air. We can have our fun without sticking it to Mother Earth or increasing our dependence on Mid-East oil. It's so much fun to drive that Hubby and I playfully bicker as to who gets the wheel everytime we go out. We really liked the Accord from the beginning, but now that we own one, we are really loving it!

--oOo--

We have just launched our latest PINOYexpats issue on food and the Filipinos' love for it. Do stop by and visit!

On Being Just

"Never look for righteousness in the other person, but never cease to be righteous yourself. We are always looking for justice, yet the essence of the teaching of the Sermon on the Mount is— Never look for justice, but never cease to give it."

-Oswald Chambers, My Utmost For His Highest

That was the last sentence in my reading during one of my "quiet moments" several weeks ago. I needed that to inspire me because a lot of times, I find myself disheartened when people do not act in the way that is fair. Being my optimistic and naive self, I believe that everyone has an inner sense of fairness. But I have been disappointed to find out otherwise in many of my day-to-day dealings.

In a sermon I heard long ago, the Pastor said that the main causes of many a conflict are failed expectations and blocked goals. When someone acts contrary to how you expect them to act, or is an obstacle toward a goal that you have set, we may feel anger and disappointment. And that can lead to deep, unspoken resentments and conflicts, if there is no open communication.

It resounds in me because it really upsets me when people expect others to play fair, even if they themselves are not willing to. I always remind myself that each person is different, shaped by the values that we were taught and the kind of discipline, or non-discipline, we received. So people will not always act or react in the way we expect them to. I am not guiltless in this for I am ahead of the game when it comes to acting and reacting in many selfish ways. Just ask my husband! :) Thank God, I have him to remind me in a loving way when I do. He never says much. He just gently touches me and whispers, "Relax." He manages to deflate the pride and selfish indignation I feel by that simple action. It is great that he's there to remind me that even if everyone else is acting foolish, I have the choice to not act in the same way.

It's Okay To Cry

I find it amusing that after so many recent studies on human behavior, some people still think that they show themselves as strong just because they don't show grief or shed a tear during a difficult time.

I believe it actually takes more courage and maturity to show vulnerability and face the emotion we feel at a particular moment. Glossing it over and faking peppiness are telltale signs of insecurity and being emotionally crippled. The great fear of appearing weak precludes any show of sentiment or feeling, lest others see a chink in the armor.

In some respect, it is true. Holding back our emotion does show some strength. But strutting about to display it, especially when others are mourning, may show a lack of wisdom and sensitivity.

It's okay to cry, really. And if you just don't feel the grief, then it would be nice to show some respect to those who do.

Gone Home

FIL passed away today at 2:30 am after a 15-year bout with cancer. He is no longer bound by an earthly, imperfect body. He is now at rest in the arms of God whom he loved so much.

We are now headed to Florida to bury him at his chosen final resting place. It will be a difficult but necessary time to mourn our loss, and celebrate his life.

Thanks to all those who have prayed with us throughout this time.

A Difficult Week

Hubby and I have had a very draining week. FIL, who suffers from cancer, developed an infection and we had to rush him to the hospital. We got there at 10:30 pm and did not get out of there until 1 pm the next day, having spent the night at the emergency room and getting him admitted to a room. We spent the rest of the week going after work, every evening to visit and also bring food to MIL, as well as to my SIL, who was visiting from Florida at that time with her two daughters. They spent their days in the hospital. My two other SILs, who are his usual caretakers, were taking a much needed vacation when it happened. It was good for them to have a break, as well as give us a chance to be able to contribute a bit more of our time to FIL's care. They tried not to worry too much as we took over, and we just kept them updated on his condition.

After four days in the hospital, FIL showed improvement and was able to speak more, eat and sit up again. So yesterday, he was discharged and he is now back home with my SILs who have returned from their short vacation. We all breathed a sigh of relief as yet one more health hiccup is overcome.

It is so hard to see a loved one in pain. Although there is something uplifting, however sad, about seeing love in action when you witness individuals being strong and brave, and doing everything they can to ease the suffering of their loved one.

What Would You Do?

If you win the lottery, what would you do? This was a discussion that Hubby and I had once. This article made me think on it more.

Me? I would keep my mouth shut. There are already enough people in the world who try to get you to spend your money on them in one way or another. Whether your earnings are little, some or a lot, there are those that just do not value the amount of hard work you do to earn your money. People sometimes take on an attitude that it is their right to have you spend on them because, really, they need it more than you do! Imagine if they find out that you have a windfall? The more they will feel entitled to it. Whatever assistance you try to extend, will probably be never enough anyway. It is amazing how ungrateful the people you continually help become. That’s why I always try to keep in check my impulses on generosity. It is not because I’m very greedy or unwilling to share. I already do my little bit of helping here and there, and just might increase a little bit more if I had more to give. I believe that helping too much is not good either. Aside from taking your constant help for granted, there are lessons that the person you are helping might miss if they don't go through their struggle.

I am reminded of that story when someone, out of kindness, “helped” a new-born butterfly break out of its cocoon by slicing it open. The butterfly came out with a swollen body and shriveled wings. It was never able to fly. It is the struggle out of the cocoon that actually helps it to strengthen its body and allows it to spread its wings and fly. The same goes for us. I believe there’s a valuable lesson wrapped in every hardship that we go through. It’s up to us to either be bitter about it or to meet it head-on and learn as much as we can from it. If someone takes it away, we will never learn the lesson. Trials enrich our souls far better than money can enrich us financially. Nothing hones character more than adversity.

So we would do good to be wise in how we offer “help”. Yes, it's nice to get the credit and the accolade of being known as helpful and generous. I think it can become selfish because what we sometimes do is not really helping, just enabling. Enabling in a way that people remain in their stunted state, while we glory and pat ourselves in the back for being a kind and magnanimous human being.

I think God, in His infinite wisdom, has not allowed me to win the lottery. Well, it doesn’t help that I don’t really buy tickets! But if I ever do, people in really dire straits or in life and death situations will probably get help... as anonymously as I possibly could give it. That way they can put their faith in God and how He works through people, not in people or money. I don't think I will let anyone around me ever know of my windfall, save for Hubby. I think it's just much better that way, don't you think?

A Tokaya in Boston

A couple of weeks ago, I went to dinner with someone I had met through this blog. She is a namesake of mine, Filipino, a University of the Philippines alumnus, and lives in Boston, as well. With those similarities, how can we not attempt to meet in person, right? It started out when she left comments here. We started corresponding by email semi-regularly after that. I say semi-regularly because the woman has a crazy schedule! MIT is surely squeezing every drop they can out of her before they let her go.

The first time I met her was when she came to watch the show I did a few months back. We were able to chat a bit, but there were just too many people milling about to even start a real conversation. This time, we really got to sit down and probe minds. I found that we were similar in many, many ways, except in one thing. She definitely has more brains than me! She is working on her thesis, and will soon be graduating with a PhD in Chemistry from MIT. She explained to me what she does, it just went completely over my head though. :)

After a very interesting and entertaining dinner, we went around the shops in Faneuil Hall, just to do what women love to do together, chat and browse the sales. It was nice to be able to walk around with a fellow pinay, speaking Tagalog, and sharing that ridiculous pinoy sense of humor. It's just too bad that she's moving away to Indiana after her graduation. But these days, the internet can help maintain friendships that would otherwise be lost if we depended on what we now consider archaic modes of communication, the phone (those phone bills!) and snail mail. That's how I have kept in touch with all my family and friends back home, and it's also how I have met a few wonderful people such as this Tokaya of mine. The internet is an amazing thing, isn't it?

A C. S. Lewis Weekend

I'm having a Clive Staples Lewis weekend. I am listening to the musical, "The Lion, The Witch and the Wardrobe" that my friend, Lito composed and Trumpets put up in the Philippines for the first time in 1998. The musical is based on the C. S. Lewis story from the Chronicles of Narnia. I dug up my CD and listened to it again with fresh ears. I have always thought the music was beautiful, but could have been biased since it was my friend's creation and a Trumpets production. Listening to it now after seven years, and its music still manages to enthrall me. It also brought back so many memories for me of rehearsing and doing the musical, as well as the late hours we spent in the studio recording the CD. It was such a good musical that I hope other people get the chance to see and enjoy it. I'm praying that a producer will be interested to put up the musical here. It's timely since Disney's coming out with the movie version this December. I think doing the musical sometime after that would be a great idea.

Tumnus and Lucy in Narnia

The Lion, The Witch and the Wardrobe

A Trumpets Production, Manila, Philippines

Another C. S. Lewis thing I am into this weekend is his book, The Screwtape Letters. He shows the same sublte but great command of biblical truths which he did in The Lion, The Witch and the Wardrobe, as well as an insight into the psyche of one whose business is manipulation and temptation. He starts off by saying, "There are two equal and opposite errors into which our race can fall about the devils. One is to disbelieve in their existence. The other, is to believe, and to feel an excessive and unhealthy interest in them. They themselves are equally pleased by both errors and hail a materialist or a magician with the same delight." Its protagonists are two demons, Wormwood and his uncle, Screwtape. Through letters, Screwtape strives to teach Wormwood how to exploit all the weaknesses of this "foolish two-legged animals" called humans and keep their mind on everything except God. I find Screwtape's assessment of man as so true that it has me burst out laughing many times.

I wish I had an ounce of the talent and sense of C. S. Lewis, or the musical abilities of my friend, Lito. I often wonder how people can be so talented. And even more amazing that talent, when used for good, can affect lives in such a positive manner. C. S. Lewis died seven years before I was born, and here I am still enjoying and learning from his gifts. I have no doubt that Lito is going to leave the same kind of legacy somehow, someday. The good that we do with the talent that God gives us will always leave an imprint in someone's heart.

Turning Older

In a couple of days, I will be another year older and hopefully wiser. Bro, who shares the same birthday, asked me what I planned to do on our day. Nothing special, really. The past year has been so full of blessings that I really do not feel I need to do anything special to celebrate. I feel that the entire year has been one big celebration in itself. Also in the past few days, we have been up and about entertaining guests. It is a lot of fun but also extremely exhausting. Now, I want nothing more than to just have a quiet and restful birthday.

Last week, a friend from the Philippines arrived to spend some time with us. In the middle of her stay, Hubby's 17-year-old twin nephews arrived to spend a whole week. We have been taking them around to see the sights and just hanging out to spend time with them. It took a lot out of me to keep up with teenage energy. It brings home the reality of how old I really am!

First night, after a sumptuous dinner at the Cheesecake Factory, we took them on a walking tour from the Christian Science Center to Trinity Church in Copley Square, through Newbury St., to the Boston Public Gardens and finally, the Boston Commons to watch "Hamlet". I walk an average of half an hour daily. But that was a much longer walk than I was used to. We got home before midnight.

On Saturday, along with Hubby's other 7-year-old nephew and 5-year-old niece (who live nearby), we took them sailing during the early afternoon in the Boston Harbor, then went to the North End (Boston's Little Italy) to grab something at the famous Pizzeria Regina (est. 1926). We then proceeded to the Esplanade along the Charles River to watch the concert of the Stylistics, where we were joined by the parents of the younger children, their youngest and my other SIL. The Stylistics sounded as good as ever despite their years. It brought us all back to our special memories of that decade, judging from the nostalgic demeanor on everyone's face that evening. Again, we had a very late night and turned in at around 2:30 am.

Yesterday, we took them to Chinatown after church to sample the fare at our favorite restaurant there after church. After we all had our yummy fill, we spent the rest of the day in the Boston Commons. The kids got silly and wet at the fountains at Frog Pond. We also played soccer, volleyball, and spent time running after a new airhog plane that we had bought for one of the nephews. It got stuck in trees five times. We were able to knock it off the trees four times before. The fifth time, it flew so high that it got stuck on a thick branch of this particularly tall tree. Hubby's nephew tried to knock it off with a soccer ball. Alas, after several attempts, the ball decided to keep the plane company on one of the branches. We tried to retrieve both with big rocks until dusk, to no avail.

So one windy day, a soccer ball and a toy plane will fall into someone's hands. Hopefully, those hands will be that of a little boy who has just asked God for some toys! Hmm, I think that's going to be my birthday wish...

Credit Card Crapola

When I first set foot to live in this country a few years back, I quickly found out how important credit history is. Even subscribing to a simple cellphone service quickly taught me that with no history, no one would trust me. Before I could subscribe, they required a huge deposit. I didn't want to waste my money on putting in a huge deposit and gain no interest on it, so I thought that the next logical step was to apply for credit. But no matter where I turned to, no one would issue me one because I had no credit history. Even those institutions that sent me mail with the invitation to apply would turn me down. It was quite frustrating. How the heck do I build a history if no one was willing to take the risk and give me one??!! I even sent a letter to Standard Chartered Bank to see if they would issue me credit here since I was a founder member credit card holder in the Philippines and had history there. They sent a letter of regret saying that they are not in the business of credit cards in the US.

Finally, I just resorted to paying for a secured credit card. It was like a debit card wherein my credit limit was the amount that I had 'deposited'. The money earned no interest and the APR for purchases was ridiculously high, if you did not pay your monthly bill in full. The only advantage was, credit bureaus are not able to tell that it is secured. Through that, as well as being an authorized user on my husband's cards after we got married, I was slowly able to build my own solid history, and I eventually replaced that secured high-interest card with a few of low-interest, perk-filled, no annual fee credit cards.

Today, I scoff and thumb my nose at those companies that snubbed me before because of insufficient history. They really want my business now, it is not even funny. Our small mailbox gets stuffed with pre-approved offers daily. Today, I had three offers, a Citibank Diamond Preferred, a Chase Visa Platinum and an American Express Platinum. One even offers a free companion airline ticket! And you guessed right. Now, I get the pleasure of turning them down! Hmp!

:)

Note: To be fair to AMEX, they've treated me very, very well from the beginning. They were the only one who took a risk with me so they will have my business for a long, long time. Their Platinum program just has an expensive annual fee. A Financial Planner advised me never to pay an annual fee for a credit card. She said it was a waste of money since there are so many credit cards that offer the same without the annual fee. She's right!

Careless Words

In the heat of the moment, coupled with a desire to manipulate a situation and lash out at anybody, someone accused me today of being a gossip behind my back. People can be really careless with what goes out of their mouths at the moment of anger. They start accusing other people of stuff that they are guilty of. They suddenly project to other people what actions they might take in circumstances, not realizing that not everyone thinks and acts in the same way they do.

It just saddens me that people are so foolish as to lash out like that. They don't realize that they don't win any sympathy to their supposed plight by acting that way. They go around telling their business to everyone that listens, and they fail to realize that they themselves are the source and root of the problem.

That's what I get for being a listening ear and a sounding board at times, as well. I should really be more choosy as to whom I lend my shoulder when they're feeling down. That same person who sometimes asks for your sympathy can turn against you, the moment that you say the truth that they cannot bear to hear.

The first lesson for me is, yes, to be even more careful that anything that comes out of my mouth cannot be misconstrued as breaking confidence. The second is, to agree to be a sounding board only to people who are willing to listen to the truth and humbly receive the counsel they supposedly seek.

--oOo--

Matthew 7:6 - "Do not give dogs what is sacred; do not throw your pearls to pigs. If you do, they may trample them under their feet, and then turn and tear you to pieces. "

The 4th of July

In 1999, I remember seeing a photo of the fireworks above the Charles River in Boston on the front page of a major Philippine newspaper. At that moment, I remember thinking how great it must be to experience that and wishing that I could be there to see the show the following year. It was just one of those things that I quietly muttered to God as a wish and quickly forgot about. The seeming impossibility of that thing happening just made my mind brush it aside to one corner of my brain. At that moment, the possibility of me even being in the US was small to nil. (This was before the whole Disney offer, which is another wonderfully weird story.)

A year later, I found myself at the bank of the Charles River, standing with thousands of people, watching that same show. I held my M's hand (we were just dating then) as we listened to the Boston Pops playing classical music to the awesome display of pyrotechny in the sky. I realized right then and there that I was living that small wish that I had made a year before. The weird thing is, we didn't even plan on being there. M and I decided to meet in New York for his birthday and stayed with his brother, L. On the fourth, M and L just decided that we would drive to Boston to spend the 4th with their two sisters who lived there. So we left late in the afternoon, undmindful of any schedule. As we entered the Massachusetts turnpike, we saw smaller displays of fireworks going off in the distance. M then mentioned that the fireworks in the Esplanade should be starting at around 10:00 pm. So they both decided that the three of us were going to head there and try to catch a glimpse of this legendary Boston tradition.

That's how I ended up there on that night. We craned our necks to watch the 40-minute display. But as grand as the spectacle was, I could not believe how much grander God's generosity was to me. Little did M and L know how God was granting one small wish of mine through them at that particular moment. Since then, I have celebrated every 4th of July here in Boston, and I am reminded of that little wish that I made. A wish that I considered impossible and forgot about, which God deemed important enough for Him to grant to me.

Humble Pie

I guess it is an acquired taste. Some people will never go near it, and some will learn to appreciate it. Much like cod liver oil, humble pie is something we all would rather not have. It does not taste that great. However, having a dose or two once in a while keeps us from what I call ‘egotistical obesity’.

I have had more than my share of this er… beneficial treat. Mouthing off or doing things on impulse for self-aggrandizement or any other selfish motive earns me the right to have it. I have eaten my humble pie, both in private and in public. When I was younger, my Mom and family made sure I had it to keep me steady. I didn’t appreciate it then, but looking back, I am thankful that they did. Now at the end of each day, I try to see if I need a piece of it just so I can keep myself ‘fit’. Having my own personal serving also seems to keep me from indulging in public. Nonetheless, it doesn’t mean that it never happens anymore.

We should all be careful to keep sweet the words that come out of our mouths, in case we might have to eat them one day. Let us try to not be the fools that we are most of the time. The words we utter will come back to comfort or haunt us someday in the future. It comes in the form of people to whom we have spewed out quoting us, or circumstances that we have set rolling with the words we speak.

I recommend a daily dose of Humble Pie. Like many things nutritious, the more you have it, the less difficult it is to swallow. Nevertheless, it is not something one craves to have. It may never become a pleasant treat, but a regular serving is good for our soul.

------

P.S. I was going through my stats, and found someone accessing this link of a blog of mine, exactly a year ago.

http://irruminations.blogspot.com/2004/07/fools-are-proud-and-wise-are-humble.html

Both are entries on humility. What are the chances?

Am I Unpatriotic?

When I was still living in Manila, I always wondered why Filipinos would want to live anywhere else. It puzzled me why some of my friends chose to migrate. They had a good life and most of them had carved out a niche for themselves in their respective fields. I always used to say, "Why be a second-class citizen somewhere else when you're first-rate here?" I had high hopes for the Philippines. The economy seemed to be improving despite the prevalence still of graft and corruption, a legacy of the Marcos era. However, along with a growing number of people who continually made a stand, I refused to pay bribes to get around red tape and would do things the legal (and difficult) way willingly, if need be, to try and effect some change. I thought it was just a matter of time before it caught on and things improved.

Then an action star got elected President. Picture Vin Diesel winning the Presidency, only older, fatter, ugly and way less smarter. Not only that, he was corrupt, through and through. The way he ran his mayorship of a small town and his Vice Presidency proved that. When he announced that he was vying for the top seat in the land, I swore to myself that if he won, I would leave the country. I figured if someone like that won, then it made my countrymen no more than a bunch of star-struck groupies or worse, they were paid to vote or support him. Nobody in their right mind could actually believe that an action star, who didn't finish high school, can continue the decade of growth in a country that was just rising out of a 21-year plunder by a dictator and his muse.

I think God must have heard my prayer, because the month of that man's swearing in as President, I got an offer to work in the United States. I accepted. I was so disillusioned and disgruntled. I figured I'd give myself a break and try out living somewhere else, just to get away from the crazy situation that is my country. I knew it would take time for me to adjust since I was going to be completely on my own -- no family, friends, no established ties, no network, and no household help! To my surpise, I fared well. Despite missing the artistic side of my existence back home, I was glad to have a set schedule and loved being at home by nightfall. Even doing house chores which I dreaded, wasn't that bad. I found myself really relaxed despite what everyone says, that life in Manila is a picnic compared to the hard, cold life in the US. I asked myself why. I came to the conclusion that I had lived with pollution, horrendous traffic, crazy drivers, corrupt government employees and officials, etc. for so long that I had schooled myself to accept it as part of life. Living away from it though, made me realize how deeply it really bothered and burdened me.

I have now been away for six years. I believe the election of Mr. Action Star sent the Philippines on a downward spiral it hasn't recovered from since. Hearing and reading about the present Philippine political climate and all the bickering and accusations flying around, the gambling lords, the pollution, the possible economic implosion and the crime rate in the urban areas, I don't think I can handle living there again. There are so many things that I love and miss about my beautiful country. It's just so sad that it's run so badly by politicians who mostly think of self-gain. My dreams of retiring there doesn't seem to be an option. It is my homeland but unless things change drastically, I really doubt it will ever be my home again.

Morbid or Just Realistic?

What would you do if you found out you had but a short time left to live?

Hubby and I had this discussion last night. Someone dear to us continues his 15-year battle with cancer and while we rejoice over the gift of one more day each day he wins his battle, it is something that has put our own mortality in the forefront of our minds.

It occurred to me though that while his enemy is known, ours might not be revealed to us until that time comes. There’s the undiagnosed ailment, the drunk driver, the murderer, the freak accident, the natural disaster, etc. Any of these could cut our lives short. If we knew that destiny has set our end date for tomorrow, would we be happy with the things that we have done? How have we led our lives? Would we feel that we have properly spent the time that was given to us? How negatively or positively did we impact the lives of the people around us? If people recall our last utterance to them, would they say it was edifying or hurtful? Have we inspired people to live better lives or do we serve as a warning? What legacy would we leave behind? And I don’t mean in terms of money or property. That’s probably because I have neither! :)

I decided early on in my walk that I would cease every opportunity to really try and have a positive impact, even on PMS days. Whether it’s for family, friend or those who consider me their foe. I guess for each of us, there would be a share of people who would think you led a fruitful life, and a group that would think otherwise. Indeed, no one is perfect. I do hope that somehow, the ayesayers would outweigh the naysayers. But in the end, I really will only care about one. God… that He says “Aye!”

C'est Kitsch!!!

Several years back, when I would see American movies depicting people commuting to work, I wondered why people wore sneakers with their business suits. I found it totally kitschy! I decided that I would never be found doing that. But of course back then, I was working in Manila, a city where everyone drove or were 'driven' to their destination no matter how near, and people hardly walked.

Fast-forward to the new millennium --- I find myself working in Boston, a city where everyone walks and takes the train, unless you're willing to sit in traffic going into town in the morning and shell out about US$400/month for parking. Not a lot do that, as you can imagine. Since my home and work are all within walking distance of the train, I happily take it. No hassle, no traffic, no parking fees! And what do you see me wear to and from work?

***Drum Roll***

Business attire and yes, sneakers! It not only is more comfortable, it is more practical given the harsh New England winters. The first couple of years, I tried wearing my nice work shoes through winter. I found out quickly how the salt (that they spread on the road to keep from freezing) and the snow ate on my nice leather pair of shoes. Not only that, leather soles and ice is almost a surefire way of making yourself land on your butt when you're walking on icy pathways. Then, you have the cobblestoned streets and sidewalks of this old city which can really wear your soles and heels out. Moreover, pointy heels have an uncanny way of inserting itself into the small cracks in between the stones and make you suddenly do a graceful little dance.

So if you're the type who likes to invest in a nice pair of shoes for work and making it last as long as you can, then you'd have to get something else that's flat-soled, soft and comfortable to wear on your commute to and from work. It's the only way to go!

As Hubby would always jokingly say, "So what have we learned if nothing at all?" That we don't judge people unless you've been in their shoes!

:)

Mutual Admiration Society

I was checking my blog stats and was so surprised that there was a significant spike to my number of visits. I looked at the referring page and sure enough, it was again the doing of Melissa (or AnP, to her thousands of readers). A lot of the Pinayexpat "faithful" were nice enough to drop by. Curious, I guess, to see what kind of friends she had.

It was a couple of weeks ago when Melissa and I were dissecting our friendship, and how it has survived all these years despite personal pursuits that took us to different paths. And yet each time we find each other, we pick up right where we left off and resume our little mutual admiration society. She and I are poles apart and yet we regard each other highly and enjoy our differences. We agreed that it must be because we gravitate towards people who have healthy self-confidence. Something we were both fortunate to have our parents instill in us. I guess that even at a young age, we both tired of "friends" who had nothing better to do than compare themselves to us or to talk behind our backs. I almost fell into that trap as there was a time when I was unwise in the company I chose to keep. But like her, I have a wise mother who put an end to that by encouraging me to be myself, and not to be too bothered about what these people say to me or about me.

I have found myself bonding more with people who share the same self-acceptance and assurance. They all are, in one way or another, more talented or smarter than me, and I am not fazed. Not only do I learn from them, but there is no insecurity or any ridiculous competition. Someone once made a comment that I was being snooty. I found that puzzling because my close friends come from all kinds of backgrounds. I even have those kinds of friendships where the person seems to need me more than they really care for me. I am only called when there's trouble brewing. I really don't mind being a "stormy-weather" friend but it does prevent the friendship from going any deeper.

However, I do have my truest friends who all have that incredible self-esteem, tempered with honesty and humility. That, plus a lot of respect make for that special friendship that is mutually satisfying...the kind that never fades, no matter the years nor the circumstance.

To my friends... Ano ba yan? 'Eto na naman tayo! Masyado tayong nagmamahalan!

Of Firsts and the Force

Week One
It was a crazy first week in my new job. I had about three days to absorb what my predecessor was trying to turn over to me. What's more, we ran into some road blocks as I was not yet set up technically in the corporate server so I could not fully sink my teeth into what I was supposed to learn and do. On top of that, I seem to have come in during the week where events were at fever-pitch so it left me kind of breathless. I was assured that it is not always like that. Whew!

Year One
Where did time go? I looked at my entries and realized that I've been blogging for a year. It certainly hasn't felt that long and yet the proof is all there. Just look to the left! Not only that, some people have deemed my writing worth "publishing". Now how's that for a surprise? One entry of mine has appeared in a newsletter for Habitat for Humanity (circulation 1,500) and a friend invited me to be a part of her online magazine called PINOYexpats, to which I have contributed a few articles. I don't know how long I can keep this con going, but I'll try for as long as I can! :)

The Force
Star Wars' final episode hits the screen. Hubby called me Friday after work and informed me that we were going to the 5:40 pm show. I told him I had to work a bit late and asked if there was a later show. He said they were all sold out. Since I knew that he wanted to go see it badly, I told him to go ahead and I will meet him after the show. "Okay!" he said. Not much convincing needed there! I was chuckling as I put the phone down. We usually watch everything together. Although if the situation were reversed, I probably would have done the same thing. When I met him after the show, he was grinning like a cheshire cat who's just had a meal. It was too cute!

My Last Week

It was crazy--
Job turnovers are never easy, especially when you only have a couple of days to do it.

It was tedious--
I stayed late every day of the week making sure I left no loose ends, and I still had some unfinished stuff that I needed to leave on to my successor.

It was wearying--
People tend to pile things on your desk that you are asked to "please try to do before you go."

It was expensive--
I got myself something nice from our jewelry company before I lost my right to the great employee discount.

It was sad--
It's hard to say goodbye to people you really like working with.

It was funny--
People were just playfully putting on a show of how sad they were to see me leave. I told them to try acting if they ever got laid off.

It was fattening--
I was invited out to lunch all week and told to order whatever I wanted.

It was bittersweet--
The London staff sent me a beautiful bouquet of flowers to say goodbye. It got me all choked up.

It was revealing--
You never really know how much you're appreciated and liked until you're about to leave.

It's exciting--
I'm always excited when I am on the verge of a new chapter in life. Change, though sometimes unnerving, has always brought me a new understanding of myself and how God is working on me. I decided early in life, no matter how much fear I have, to try not to shrink away from change. Whether it's a step back or a step forward, I say a prayer, coach my attitude, clench my teeth and meet change head on. So it's first day for me on Monday. Ready, get set, GO!

Moving On

Last Monday, I gave in my two-weeks' notice. The stunned look on my boss' face made me feel bad. After letting it sink in, he seemed to snap out of it and magnanimously told me that if it was for a better opportunity, then he would be happy for me. I assured him it was. It was an offer too good to refuse, I said. He then congratulated me with a wistful smile, reminding me that it is not his way to hinder people's advancement of themselves. As the reality of the situation became more apparent in the following days, I have been subject to some ribbing and roasting about my inevitable departure.

Leaving a job that you like, with people that you enjoy working with, is sad no matter how green the next pasture is to which you are moving. I work for a family-oriented, community-focused financial firm of about 160 people. It's probably one of the most laid-back financial firms I have ever seen. Different people, even ones that I did not expect, have been dropping by my office this whole week, telling me how sad they are to see me go. It reminded me what I liked best about this company, the humility and warmth of the people. Of course, some had this expression saying "contact" as they found out which division of the company for which I would be working. I don't mind.

So in a week's time, I will be working in a 160-people division, in a company of 175,000. It boggles my mind. So far, the ones I have met during the whole hiring process have been super, top to bottom. I hope it continues to be that way as I go along. I hope and I pray!