Deeply Touched

I woke up today and found Hubby acting strangely. He was sitting in front of my computer instead of his and when he saw me approaching, he asked me how long I would need it. I frowned and asked him why he needs my computer when he has his own, plus a laptop. He didn't respond and just worked on his computer as I worked on mine. I stepped away from our office to get ready for the day and went to the bedroom to make the bed. I lifted up my pillow to find an I-Touch box! I ran back to him and the following conversation ensued.

Me: "I can't keep this. It's too expensive considering all the expenses we've had the last year!"
Hubby: "But you've been wanting one for some time now."
Me: "Yes, but that doesn't mean I always get what I want. It can wait until our finances have more breathing room. I can't keep this."
Hubby: "You deserve it for tolerating me the last 7 years. Happy Anniversary!"

He then reached under my desk and showed me the I-Touch, which he had already taken out of the box, all charged and ready for the day for my use. I couldn't argue after that. I just started thanking him profusely and playing with my new toy.

I have so much to be thankful for this Thanksgiving. My hubby and the way he just is will probably fill the first 100 in that list.

Happy Anniversary, Hunni!

We're Open

I never usually invite people to the opening night of any theatre performance, but last Friday was an exception. Aside from Hubby who's always there to support me, I had my mother-in-law, who could not watch the later shows because she was flying back to Florida, and my friend Melissa from Germany, who happened to schedule a visit the same week we were opening.

The King and I opening night went much better than I expected. We had a great crowd and an almost seamless show. The standing ovation in the end was gratifying and so was the first review that came out the following day. The critic was generous in his praise to everyone. Here's his kind snippet about me.

"Pia as Lady Thiang has a phenomenal voice. Her majestic delivery of "Something Wonderful" is breathtaking with the lyrics and music moving Anna to return to the King. Pia gives the role of the head wife the necessary backbone to reprimand Tuptim for her betrayal of the King as well as to convince Anna to stay in Siam."

Hopefully, that inspires all of us to keep peforming with the same energy in the next five weeks although I feel a bad chest cold coming on. I really hope I can recover by the time Thursday rolls in.

Things Better Left Unsaid

I am lifting this off someone else's blog. The rules are to list (20) things you want to say to 20 unnamed people but know you never will.

I thought I'd have some therapy making this list. Since I make it a point to try and always verbalize whatever is good and encouraging, you will find that my list only contains the not-so-good stuff unlike the other lists I've read. I usually am straightforward to close friends who are secure in the fact that I love them enough to tell them the truth. I expect the same from them about things I need to work on. But as you can imagine with the rest of the world, there are a gazillion sarcastic/honest remarks that remain where it should - in my head. :)

1. Stop lying to yourself and the world. Just admit it and move on. Others have.

2. Believe me, you're not all that. The sooner you realize it, the more you can focus on the qualities that you do have.

3. Grow up and get a self-esteem. Adding women to your cap like feathers may win you the approval of shallow and chauvinistic men such as yourself, but it doesn't win you the admiration of people with integrity.

4. Stop living vicariously through her. Go out and get your own life.

5. Do yourself a huge favor and leave him. He's not good for you...or anyone else.

6. I am not the darn Help Desk. Please call them instead of me!

7. Hunni, the Elvira look went out of fashion decades ago.

8. Stay away from me. I already told you I'm married, creep.

9. Enough side remarks and prattle. Let's just move on to the next, please!

10. One of these days, you're gonna get what's coming to you and it's too bad I won't be at the ringside watching and eating popcorn.

11. Your wife is not your slave and baby maker. She's a human being with her own needs and dreams that you should help nurture.

12. If you're so brilliant, how come you're living off the state?

13. You think you're being sly but people can read you like a book. Everyone's just too polite to say anything.

14. I think everyone has a purpose in life. Yours is to serve as a warning to others.

15. Keeping your wife from getting her legal status so you can control her says a whole lot about what's inside you. You need serious help.

16. It's just something I normally do for everyone so please don't mistake it for anything other than friendly consideration.

17. You truly do your children a disservice. I hope they don't turn out like you.

18. Er...how did you do your job before I came?

19. I'm glad you've become a humbler person. I really couldn't stand you before.

20. After decades of being here, you still don't get it. The world does not revolve around you.

Whew! This took me longer than I thought. But there, it's done. Will I ever say it? Who knows. Haha!

High and Dry

Lately, I haven't been able to focus my thoughts long enough on any particular thing to put them down in writing. It is definitely not for a lack of opinion, or emotion, or things to write about. I guess I'm just going through a dry spell. Sorting my thoughts out and putting them "on paper" is just a real effort these days.

Although the things I've mulled over the past few weeks range from general stuff like the Filipino self-esteem in terms of the Desperate Housewives brouhaha; people who don't put any value to their verbal commitments; my current involvement in the company's campaign for the United Way (non-profit); to more personal stuff like career next-steps, as I've been asked if I would consider moving to another state for the company; and analyzing motivations for a character I'm playing in a show I'm doing. I can expound on each one of these but somehow I am just not in the mood to do so.

I'm just in a rut.

Add me, add me not.

I enjoy social networking sites because it makes you realize how long and varied the arms of friendship you have established. It also makes you realize people are connected in many ways. The first one I ever signed up for way back in the mid 90s was sixdegrees.com. At that time, the internet was only beginning to flourish in the Philippines so not a lot of my friends were that much into it yet, so the people I connected with were mostly in the US and 'nerds' from different countries who owned computers and were used to subscribing to electronic bulletin boards and chat servers. Six Degrees started charging after a while so I didn't renew my subscription.

A decade later, I can't even count how many free networking sites I am a member of and I can hardly keep up. I get so many persistent invitations to connect with a certain set of friends from different times in my life that I eventually sign up for it. It's always fun to reconnect and know that when you want to reach out to someone, they are only a mouse-click away.

Once in a while though, I get these questionable add-me notices or requests from men that I don't know from Adam. Reading the profile of some can be quite entertaining, and sometimes a little uncomfortable, because you know that they're there for one purpose - and that is to pick-up people. Of course, I just try to ignore these requests and not respond lest I draw more unwanted attention. It can be exasperating though.

I guess there's always going to be a downside to a good thing, huh?

Sledgehammer

Remember this?



I think it's one of the most memorable music videos ever made. It's definitely one of my favorites alongside "Take On Me" by A-ha.

So Long, Teri

Today, God embraced a good friend into His bosom. After years of battling cancer, He has given Teri peaceful rest in His arms.

Teri, we will miss your smile, your affectionate ways, your sweetness and your laughter.

Oh, and tell Monique we said hello. We will surely see you both again some day.

In the meantime, we will strive to live the way you did - in faith, in love, in joy and in hope, no matter what the circumstance.

We love you, Teri. We won't say goodbye, just "...so long!"

Darn Boston Pedestrians

Bostonians take rights very seriously. They abuse one in particular, and that is the pedestrian right-of-way.

Massachusetts Law of the Road, Chapter 89, section 11 says, "No driver of a vehicle shall pass any other vehicle which has stopped at a marked crosswalk to permit a pedestrian to cross, nor shall any such operator enter a marked crosswalk while a pedestrian is crossing or until there is a sufficient space beyond the crosswalk to accommodate the vehicle he is operating, notwithstanding that a traffic control signal may indicate that vehicles may proceed."

Boston pedestrians, however, jaywalk with relish, with no regard to the crosswalk or whatever the nearest traffic light indicates. They expect cars to stop for them, no matter if the traffic light says otherwise. We have been stuck at many intersections going through two cycles of green lights, just because pedestrians here just proceed to go on crosswalks without even looking up while they're on their cellphones or busy talking to whomever they're walking with. And even when they realize that they're blocking the whole intersection, they still take their sweet time to get across with not a care in the world. One time, a car to our right dared to toot their horn to get a guy to move quicker because the light was about to change to red again. The pedestrian actually had the audacity to look offended and scream at the driver of the car. In frustration at one point, I rolled down my window and reminded a pedestrian to look at the traffic light before crossing so she won't get into or cause an accident, and she flipped me the bird.

I wish Boston cops would give jaywalking citations, just as easily as other traffic tickets. Yes, people need to drive carefully, but pedestrians need to cross lawfully and responsibly, as well.

Beauty Pageant Q & A

I guess we, Filipinos, don't have the monopoly on funny answers to beauty pageant questions! Miss Teen South Carolina gives her two-cents' worth on why a fifth of Americans can't locate the the US on a world map.

Poor girl. We all have our embarrassing moments, but to have it happen on national television with millions of viewers watching and at least 51 girls forever recording the event for posterity - that must not be pleasant.

Doggie Spa?

Last night, I was finishing up painting a wall in one room that I had left undone over the weekend. I decided to take a break between the first and second coat to attend to other things in the house.

I walked into our bedroom a few minutes later and to my horror, saw Katy & George on the beanbag playing with the foam brush I had just left in the other room. There was blue paint on the beanbag, the floor and on them.

Nope, that's not make-up!

And, Katy does not have a pedicure! (She had the paint mostly on her paws, nails and legs.)

The initial feeling of shock was quickly replaced by laughter as we saw both puppies with paint and realized how cute they looked. Hubby quickly ran to get his camera and captured the moment for posterity before I washed the paint off.

These two have definitely wrapped us around their little fingers...er...I mean, paws.

House Stuff

It only took us nine months, but we have finally picked up the paint brushes and started painting the second level of the house. Last December, we finished all the rooms on the first floor, except those that we plan to remodel. That's when we parked up all the painting paraphernalia in the basement and decided to wait until summer to do the rest of the house. We have been dragging our feet since then.

Yesterday, we somehow found ourselves taping all the moldings at mid-afternoon. We've changed our minds on some colors and we've been perusing the Benjamin Moore site for alternatives. I'm glad we waited a bit to do this as the colors we chose before does not seem as appealing as the ones we have now. Hopefully, it will take only another weekend to finish.

We've also had our baptism of fire in lawn mowing, weed-pulling, etc. Home ownership and maintenance is not a picnic. Although when I'm killing weeds and I look across the lawn and see Hubby catch my eye and smile as he is trimming the plants and trees, it just makes it all worthwhile.

Little George

This is "who" I get on my special day. We thought we'd get another dog to keep Miss Katy, our playful Westie, company during those hours that Hubby and I aren't home. He's a Rat Terrier, all 1.9 lbs. of him. His mom was rescued from a puppy mill and happened to be on the way, so he and his littermates were all put up for adoption. We originally planned on adopting a rescued Westie, if we ever found one. However, Hubby and I, being the bleeding hearts that we are (read: suckers), could not resist George's puppy eyes.

I mean, can you?

Filipino Inmates do "Thriller"

This is so hilarious, I just had to share it.

Where else can you find inmates willing to do something like this? I think they did a great job, too!



Talk about channeling energy into something wholesome and positive. I applaud the prison warden!

Fresh Off the Boat

A lot of people here in the US need to develop a more global view. Many who are born or grew up here, and who have never been out of this country much, take on an attitude that if you're not from here, then you come from some backwater and that you do not know much. If you got here recently, whether it's to stay or just to visit, you will definitely get your share of questions. Here were a few of mine.


"You have a college degree!?" - I was asked in shock when I was having a conversation with someone about master's degrees and mentioned pondering over getting one.

"Are you willing to clean?" - When someone heard that my previous work visa expired and I was waiting for the new US work permit to kick in.

"You speak English so well!" - Someone uttered during a casual conversation.

"You came here on a work visa? How did you do that!?" - Incredulously exclaimed by someone when I answered his question of how I got here.

"So how much do you like it here?" - Someone asked me who assumes that nothing is better than being in the US.


Obviously, these questions come from individuals who lack some couth. In a roundabout way, I usually end up trying to pique their curiosity, and encourage them to read up on other countries, if they can't or won't travel and see the world. I am only too happy to have the opportunity to correct someone's gross misconceptions of people who are "fresh off the boat".

Kabayan Issue

Kabayan, PINOYexpats’ latest edition is finally online after a six-month hiatus. The spotlight is on our beloved Overseas Filipino Workers (OFWs) - their thoughts, their lives and the sacrifices that they make in order find a better life for themselves and for their families in the Philippines.

Please take the time to check it out. Thank you!

What is worth your husband and children?

A friend's wife just took off yesterday - leaving a goodbye note for him and for each of her children, a 1-year old and a 5-month old.

The main reason? She could never give enough money to send to her parents and siblings back in the Philippines, so she, in her flawed logic, decided to leave in order to earn more money to send to her family back in the Philippines. Her overblown sense of duty, as well as her father's demands, call for her to put both her siblings through school, pay off her father's debt and support her parents in luxury, even when both her parents are gainfully employed and has good social and community standing in their town.

When her American husband called her father to tell him what had happened, he thought he was going to get some sympathy. To his surprise, the response was, "Well, if you just send the entire amount for her siblings' tuition (which was about a thousand dollars each), then she'll probably come back. Where is that money anyway? She was supposed to have sent it already. She promised." That was it - no concern for the well-being of his daughter, his son-in-law and his grandkids. The money he's asking for is in addition to an average of $300 that they already send per month to her whole family in that little Southern town.

There's more to this story but I can't write more about it without offending sensibilities. I've seen this happen, time and again, to any small town Filipino woman who marries a non-Filipino. It's almost like their family starts to treat them like a charitable institution that will give them money at the drop of a hat every time they want something, whether it's a necessity, a whim or a luxury. And the shameless guilt-trip laying, the made-up stories that they concoct only to siphon off more money is embarrassing, to say the least. I get asked by many people why their spouse's families are like that. They think I can give them a little more insight because I am Filipino and I know our culture. Everyone hates to talk about it, but it's a harsh reality. And I'm finding myself having to try and explain it to people more and more. Believe me, it's not a great position to be in.

Cobwebs In My Mind

On my way to work this morning in the elevator, I looked up at the elevator screen Captivate network just for the latest news and tidbits. The one-liner that I chewed on long after was, "Chronic pain hampers our memory-making process." It was a sort of a confirmation of what I've been thinking happened to me in my 20s.

My 20s were the busiest, and most turbulent, times of my life. A crazy schedule because of two careers, different gigs and a marriage on the rocks made it all a blur. At that time, I went around feeling like a had 300 lbs. of ACME steel (the kind Wile E. Coyote always tried to use on the Roadrunner) sitting on my chest because of what was happening to my marriage then. Emotional pain was a constant companion, but I somehow managed to function, keep myself busy and find solace and joy in God, my dear friends and work. I remember the highlights and the worst moments, for sure - but everything else seems to have gathered cobwebs in my mind until someone manages to clear it off.

Mom: "I heard from you cousin, V. She and her husband now have a little girl."
Me: "She got married!? When!?"
Mom: "What are you talking about? You sang at her wedding!"
Me: "I did?!"

And I really could not remember a thing even when I saw the evidence - a photo of the beaming bride with me smiling beside her. I have had similar conversations with my friends when I had to dig very deep in order to remember. I assure you, I was not on any mood-altering drug then or at any time - no valium, no Prozac.

I guess the energy my body poured into keeping my state of mind on an even keel then didn't leave much for my memory-making process. I'm not certain it's working that well now, but I think age is to blame this time.

Pants On Fire

Are you a liar? I am, at times.

What causes us to lie?

Laziness?
Cowardice?
Fear?
Shame?
Malice?

Or do we like to tell ourselves that it's kindness because we're sparing someone's feelings? Is it because we feel that the other person can't handle the truth? Are they emotionally or intellectually inept? Would it be better to continually lie to someone and keep them enabled and in the dark or tell them the truth even if it might hurt and give them a chance to deal with it? Like when someone tells me I'm fat, it might sting but then I can lose weight and look and feel better physically. Just please don't let it be the first thing that comes out of your mouth when you greet me! :)

Yeah, we're all guilty of lying, at one time or another, and some more often than others. It's so insulting when we're the one being lied to. We feel disrespected - taken for a fool.

Maybe that's what we should think of before we lie to someone next time.

My Weight According to Everyone

"Fat," Mom uttered when I showed her our new photos - Katy's, our pup, and my latest headshots, which I think were nice to say the least. She also said, "Your dog is so cute." That's it. No other comment was made.

"So, are you fat?," is the first thing that a sister-in-law said when I talked to her over the phone for the first time in three years.

"You got fat," a former schoolmate nicely volunteered after looking over another set of photos.


What is it about Philippine old school ways and their obssession with everyone's weight? It's practically the first utterance out of someone's mouth the moment they see you if you haven't seen or talked to each other for a while. I know it's meant in affection most of the time and I usually take it in stride. However, it can be quite annoying when I'm not having a good day.

I'm not as slim as I used to be when I was in my 20s. I see it everyday.

I get it. Thanks for the concern. :)

The Nerve of Paris

"No! It's not right!"

Tell me, Paris. What's not right - the fact that you drove under the influence of alcohol and endangered other people's lives or the fact that you ignored the law twice after that and drove with a suspended license?

Oh, wait - you think it's not right that you're going to jail? Why is that not right? Is it because you're special? Why, you're Paris Hilton and you are above the law! Your family's wealth can buy you out of any trouble!

"I must also say that I was shocked to see all of the attention devoted to the amount of time I would spend in jail for what I had done by the media, public and city officials. I would hope going forward that the public and the media will focus on more important things like the men and women serving our country in Iraq and other places around the world."

Now suddenly, you want people to have selective attention and look the other way while you're trying to weasel your way out of serving your jail term - telling everyone to focus on "more important things"? Why, you lapped up and made money out of all the attention showered to you by people and the media before!

When are you and your buddies going to stop drinking and driving - when you've maimed and killed innocent people? Believe me, you'll live with that much longer than a 45-day jail sentence.

If you use the time right, this jail term might actually be the best thing to happen to you. I just hope your parents don't continue to mess it up for you. I hope that instead of teaching you that there is always a way to circumvent the law, that they would go buy themselves some parenting skills. They can certainly afford to do so.