Habitat For Humanity

Several months back, as part of our company's 100th anniversary, we worked with Habitat for Humanity to rebuild and renovate a two-family house in Dorchester that was gutted by fire six years ago. It had been abandoned after and everything was left as it was. So our job was to empty the house of all the burned stuff, including a refrigerator that still had food in it. Imagine that! Well, maybe not if you're eating. After emptying the soot-filled house, the clean-up followed. We demolished and threw out what was rendered useless by the fire and proceeded to work on what was left, which was basically the frame of the house. Everyone was assigned a task, like putting sealant in the basement, making the porch, etc. We were given instructions by engineering students who volunteered their services as well. I worked on hammering blocks of woods in between the walls and floors to help insulation, as well as the skeletal structure that supported the shelves. It was a hard but very fulfilling job. All the resulting aches in our bodies were worthwhile knowing that two very deserving, low-income families would be given a home that they could only dream of before then. Last week, they had the turnover of the keys to the recipients/new owners. Below are the photos of the house 'during' and 'after' the renovation.

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DURING

AFTER

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Not too shabby, hmm? It is encouraging to see some evidence of what people can do collectively when they give even a little of their time and themselves. The little that we do can really mean the whole world to somebody.

'Writing On Empty'

I am totally drained and uninspired. I am unable to expound on any topic, even the ones I feel strongly about. My mind's 'low-batt' sign is on. I was asked to write for an online magazine that's being launched called Pinoy Expats. The e-zine's target audience is the Filipino migrants in Europe. The 'Editor-in-Cheap', as I call her, is Melissa, a friend and former colleague of mine in the Philippines. She wants to do a monthly publication that will help network the Filipinos that live in the European states. I asked her why she would want something from me. Yes, I am an émigré, but a US one. Yes, I live in what is probably the most "European" city in the United States, but I am still thousands of miles away across the Atlantic. She recalled that I did a one-month trek in Europe a few years back and she asked me to write about my experience. After some thought, I happily obliged. I considered it an honor to be asked and be part of her worthwhile project. I worked on that article for about ten days. Writing, cutting, pasting, re-writing, editing, proof-reading, correcting...it wasn't easy. I had to relive that time and found myself vividly recalling my experience then. It was fun revisiting the places in my mind and remembering everything that transpired. Of course, it's all interesting to me since they are my memories. The challenge was to make it fun and appealing to other people as well. Anyway, I turned in my work yesterday and she seemed to be really happy with it. Let's see what survives her cuts and snips when the magazine goes online on September 29. Heh heh...

Silly Gander

Hubby calls me 'silly goose'. If I'm a silly goose, he is definitely a silly gander. In fact, he's the silliest of all. We've almost completed year four and I can truly say that we have had a whole lot of fun. He leaves me in stitches with his quips or the things that he does, ranging from a one-word response or a barely noticeable expression to downright slapstick. His playfulness even comes across in his emails to me during the day at work. If you find me smiling at the monitor, chances are he has just sent me a silly, sometimes bordering on ridiculous, message. His humor is mostly subtle but all the more funny because it takes one by surprise. Whenever I'm in a mood or throwing one of my very rare PMS-induced tantrums (?), he usually finds a way to snap me out of it and have me laughing before too long. His funny but loving ways has managed to defuse a lot of tense moments in our relationship.

If you ask me what factors make a marriage work, I would definitely put sense of humor (from both parties) up there, along with the big words of love and commitment. Life is short and challenging enough as it is. It's great to have a partner that you can laugh with. I love it that this goose has a gander, and a really silly one at that.

Seeking Help

A couple of days ago, I got a call from a close friend. We hadn't spoken for some time and it was nice to hear from her. After the usual pleasantries, she blurts out with a giggle, "Guess what? I'm seeing a therapist!" I said, "Congratulations!" She was surprised by my response. She asked me why I would congratulate her as most others would probably find it unsettling. I told her that it was a really healthy move and affirmed her decision. Most people have a hard time admitting even to themselves that they need help. And really, all of us do. Seeking counselling requires a lot of humility, honesty and courage. I believe that taking the initiative to approach someone for help is the first step in dealing with our issues and healing.

I'm not saying we should all grab the phone book and make an appointment with the first psychologist we can find. It is very important to be careful in choosing from whom we seek help or advise because we can end up more messed up than when we first started. God knows that I know this from experience. Someone I cared about ended up worse in the hands of an extremely irresponsible and egotistical psychiatrist, who turned out to be just as sick. They developed an emotionally dependent and destructive bond, which just served to exacerbate their problems. They both are now still picking up the pieces of their fractured lives and trying to move on.

A good friend who exhibits a lot of wisdom and is willing to listen can sometimes help just as much in making us process or work out our thoughts and feelings. Of course, if the issues are really deep and complex, then it's better to consult a trained professional.

Burying our head in the sand and pretending there are no problems does not make the problem go away. Issues that remain buried can fester and seep through. It will eventually manifest itself and hurt your relationships in a more devastating manner.

This friend of mine has it all, a hugely successful career, wealth and a loving family. Despite all of that, she felt she was still missing something so she sought help for her inner unrest. Kudos to her for doing that!

I did remind her though that in her quest to meet her emotional, physical and material needs, she might have forgotten the spiritual one. It might actually just be a matter of attending to that need that has been long neglected and sacrificed, in the pursuit of the others. You see, I believe that man is body, soul and spirit, and all three need nourishment...but that's another story.

The Art of Verbal Fart

To fart is to to expel intestinal gas from the anus. It serves no other purpose but to force out something the body does not need. It does not benefit anyone other than the one that does it. Being in the presence of someone who just dealt it can be a disagreeable experience.

I have the same reaction when I am forced to listen to a verbal fart, which is what I call it when someone is full of hot air and spews it like lava out of their mouths, with no other real purpose but to brag or listen to themselves talk. I guess they like the sound of their own voice and verbalizing their every thought process affirms their self-esteem. What's sad is, they are not even aware that what they are actually displaying is their immaturity, ignorance and insecurity. Sometimes I find it amusing and just laugh it off, and at other times find it really sad that nobody cares enough to tell them how they actually come across to other people.

Don't get me wrong. I've been guilty of verbal farts, especially retaliatory ones, and I've berated myself for showing such a lack of wisdom. But there are people who have mastered the 'Art of Verbal Fart'. It has taught me to be really careful that nothing I do resembles that.

We have one such person at work. Even before his mouth opens, his whole demeanor bespeaks arrogance. His verbal fartings are endless. He grabs every opportunity to give advice or opinion even if it is not sought, and displays his supposedly superior knowledge as an HBS graduate. He always lets everyone know how busy he is and will emphasize that at some periods of the day by just complaining loudly or screaming from his office. He makes it a point to stop by my office to whine to me and anyone that can hear in the hallway about his present crisis. The funny thing is, he's such a small fry compared to the others in the office. The big players do their work quietly and get a lot of things done, whereas Small Fry here parades everything he does with as much drama as he can. If you give him a moment, he will stand in front of you with arms akimbo, blocking all other view, and will launch into a lecture of the world according to him. Sometimes I just refuse to acknowledge his presence when he stops by and I don't even turn from my computer. I can't waste my time being a willing audience to his theatrics all the time. He reminds of those tiny dogs who noisily bark and growl for show but jump a mile high the moment you stomp your foot.

Letting a verbal fart rip, as with an actual one, evokes two kinds of reactions. If you're in a great mood, you find it amusing and comical. On a bad day, it can be extremely irritating. Today, he just broke too much verbal wind that the air has become polluted and unbearable. It's nauseating!