My Nephew, The Man

My eldest nephew was born when I was seven years old. I was the youngest in a brood of six, so I really considered Kal more like the younger sibling I never had. We "borrowed" him from his parents as much as we can and kept him with us for days at a time even as a toddler. He was a total sweetheart of a boy, beautifully disciplined by his parents so he was never a headache to have around. He was an adorable little boy, intelligent but never sassy, vocal but never disrespectful, strong-willed but never stubborn or disobedient.

One very distinct memory I have of him is when I took him out on our first "date". He was seven and I was fourteen. I decided to bring him to the movies to see "Supergirl". He sat on my right with his little legs sticking straight out in front him. As the movie started playing, the guy seated to my left started talking to me and kept asking for my name. He was becoming a nuisance and wasn't getting the message that I wasn't interested in anything else but watching the movie with my nephew. Kal notices this and stretches his arm over me and holds the arm of the chair between me and the guy. I realized that the little runt was trying to protect me. He stuck his little chin out and said in the most threatening voice a seven-year-old could muster, "LEAVE MY AUNT ALONE!!!" He said it so loud that the guy got embarrassed, got up and left. His gumption really amazed me. He sensed something was wrong and he was fearless in confronting a man who was double his size. I knew then that he was made of good stuff.

A few days back, he tells me he is going through a most trying time in his life. He poured out all his troubles, concerns and emotions. But as he told me a story that would bring out the ugliest in every person, the actions he contemplated showed deep character and unwavering moral fiber. All of us in our family have gone through similarly trying situations but have not displayed such a mature and loving spirit at that age. He had sought me for comfort and advice, instead he showed me true grace at work. In his darkest moment, my nephew exuded nothing but light. In his deepest despair, he left me inspired. In his most crushing moment, he made me proud.

I salute my nephew. I know he's going to come out of this victorious. With that beautiful attitude, how can he not? I said before that I knew he was made of good stuff. Now, I am convinced. I hope we all learn from him.

Soul Work-Out

Today is a time of reflection for me. I turn ...ty-four. :) Okay, okay, thirty-four ! I look back at my life and it has been quite an exciting ride. I am thankful for everything since I know that every single thing that I have in every sense, comes from God. Yes, I have had more than my fair share of heartaches, sufferings and trials since my single-digit years. I used to ask why I was allowed to go through so many trials which commenced at such an early age. My childhood was idyllic until around my seventh year. After that, it seemed like it was a series of testings, one after another. My young mind was forced to process a lot of things that my school or playmates were yet oblivious to.

Having the rug pulled from under me quite often enhanced my ability to know how to fall correctly. Life Judo, I guess? Getting a headstart on working on those emotional muscles is not completely bad. No one is promised a charmed life so it's good to be well-equipped as early as possible for life's many surprises. I call it Soul Work-Out. Physical trainers always say, "no pain, no gain". Your body will never be toned and defined unless you put it to work. As we have Physical Trainers to keep our bodies trim, we have life's problems for our inner-life work-outs. "No Pain, No Gain" applies to our souls as well. It, too, needs toning and defining. Without these, there will be nothing to check our thought-life, motives, actions and reactions and keep our hearts strong. I have wasted a lot of soul work-outs by sometimes cheating and not doing the proper 'regimen' that goes with it. Those were the times I chose to be bitter with some experiences, instead of better. In my thirty-fourth year, I promised myself I would try and squeeze every lesson that I can get out of a soul-workout. That way, I can learn not just how to fall correctly, but to stay up as often as possible, no matter which direction the rug is pulled. The older I get, the more and more I am convinced that all those trials equip me for something I need to do for someone who is in my life or who will come my way. That's why I know that things always happen for a purpose, a purpose that is higher and wiser than ours.

Of Demiquats, Job Reviews and Old Friends...

Here come the Demiquats!
It is the last weekday before the city of Boston is thrown into chaos because of the Democratic National Convention (DNC). Everyone expects the city to be at a standstill next week. The site of the DNC is but a few minutes walk from where my office is and a ten-minute drive from where I live, so we expect the democrats to descend upon us like ants on a candybar. Traffic will be horrendous as many roads near to the convention center will be closed and there will be spot checks on all the trains if you are carrying a bag that is bigger than the prescribed size. A lot of offices have closed for the entire week, telecommuting or doing flexi-time, hospitals are postponing elective surgeries, emergency cases and transport of patients are to be done by boat as they expect the city to be in a gridlock. I expect our offices and the financial district to be a ghost town next week. A lot of people have taken vacations or are working from home. I opted not to take any vacation days as I am saving it up for a couple of trips we have planned for November and January 2005. Besides, with the amount of people gone from work, there will be less interruptions and more things accomplished.

Half-year Review
I had my half-year review yesterday. It went pretty well as both my boss and I affirmed that we generally enjoy working together in spite of the few run-ins we have had due to his temper. My reviews usually go well but I still hate having them. Having someone assess your skills one by one can be nerve-wracking. It ended with him handing me a gift for my birthday before he went on his six-week vacation. It was a great surprise because I did not think he even knew that my birthday was coming. But trust my boss to keep you on your toes. He may fly off the handle more than usual, but he has such a good and generous heart.

Another Old Friend
Today, I found another old friend. Thank God for the internet, the world is a much smaller place than it used to be. I 'googled' her and found her blog ( http://www.pinayexpat.net ). It seems to be really popular among Filipino expatriates in Europe. She has a very well designed site and her postings are really quite entertaining. I didn't expect anything less from a fellow UP graduate. Heheh!

We met when I was working for a Swiss trading firm in the Philippines and needed an Assistant. She was the top choice at the onset. Her resume was tops, her personality winning, confidence oozing, and needless to say I was partial to her because she was from UP. :) We worked very closely so we got to know each other pretty well. We became confidantes despite the short time we spent together. When I resigned to prepare to leave for the US, she filled my position. We lost touch soon after that. Today, we managed to catch up and we were giggling like schoolgirls. There are people that I just really click with without having to try. She is definitely one of them, no matter how "mataray" she can be! Hubby and I now have a standing invitation to visit Frankfurt. And if we come during winter, she said we could hit the slopes of the Italian or Austrian Alps together. That would be fun!

Lunch Al Fresco at Faneuil Hall Quincy Market

Yesterday, a friend from work invited me out to lunch. J, our EVP, is a blast to work with. He reminded me a lot of my gay friends back home, talented, humble and witty. He calls me "girlfriend" and he provides me the same repartee I had with my friends from back home that I missed so much. Both of us craving for seafood, we went to Kingfish Hall in Faneuil Hall-Quincy Market in the heart of Boston's historical Financial District. It was a warm and sunny day so we decided to dine al fresco. After looking at the menu, we both chose the Oven-Roasted Cod which the server said was "fantastic". As we waited for the food, Faneuil Hall bustled with activity. Like any other summer day, hundreds of people, tourists on vacation or office people on their lunch breaks, mill about the shops or sit down on the benches with some take-out from the food outlets of the Marketplace. They watch the different performing artists strut their stuff or play their instruments in the cobblestoned square under old gas streetlamps. All these provided for great setting as we talked about everything else but business. Mind you, this was supposed to be a business lunch. We talked about his recent break-up with a boyfriend and his long and painful road to recovery. The difficulty of finding love and partnership when you're over 30, as many of the "eligible" men are either already committed or married off. It was a pretty interesting exchange of views regarding loving, losing and trying to find love again. Our Oven-Roasted Cod arrived amidst our discourse only to stop as soon as we took our first morsel of the cod. The first thought in our minds as it melted in our mouths was that the word "fantastic" was an understatement. The special topping on the cod had a hint of mustard that I cannot describe. Something I intend to pin down as I am set to go there again to have it. That special sauce perfectly complemented the tenderness of the cod. The meal came with a small and crunchy potato cake topped with spinach and salad dressing akin to balsamic vinegar. The whole dining experience was pleasurable in every sense, from the food to the conversation to the setting. All too soon, it came to an end. Reality set in and we had to go back to the office. We never got to talk about business during lunch and we did not mention the fact either. Business was taken care of, back in the office where it belonged.

Faneuil Hall and the Boston Harbor by night

No More Heroes

I was starting to write something regarding the pullout of Philippine troops from Iraq because of the terrorists' threat of beheading Angelo dela Cruz.  I, too, was hoping that Cruz would say something in Tagalog that the kidnappers would not understand and tell the whole Filipino nation not to give in to the terrorists' demands.  But in this day and age, acts like that are hardly ever seen anymore.  Jose Sison puts it together better.  Here is what he wrote in the June 16 issue of the Philippine Star:
 
"I am not really sure what I will do if I find myself in the same situation as Angelo. I might have also done what he is doing by appealing to the government to save my life for the sake of my family. I don’t know. But every-time I look at the video footage showing him at the hands of his merciless captors, the picture that swiftly comes to mind is that of the late Chief Justice Jose Abad Santos meeting his death bravely and calmly staring at the Japanese kempeitais with deadly samurai blade pressed on his neck. He gallantly gave up his life rather than gave in to their demands and betray his country, As I sat on my comfortable rocking chair in front of the TV screen, I pictured Angelo telling his countrymen and our President: "Don’t heed the demands of these cowards. I am ready to die for my country" I thought that seldom is such opportunity given to any person as that given to Angelo. He would have emerged a greater and larger than life hero had he done that. And he would have spared the country of the shame it is now reaping just because it values the life of even a single Filipino more than national honor.
 
I am not faulting Angelo for what he did. Working in such a dangerous place and putting his life in danger so that his family can live decently is heroic enough. This is more of an indictment on our society. We are no longer capable of producing heroes in the mold of Chief Justice Jose Abad Santos and others like him who gave up their lives for the country. Somehow we have lost our focus in life. We have concentrated more on our temporal concerns and almost forgotten that there is another more valuable life which we may lose if we love life in this world so much. The spirit of true heroism has simply deserted us because we have lost sight of a more sublime life that never ends."
 
I am also pasting the link to Max Soliven's article.  Max Soliven was a friend and colleague of my Dad's.  I always devoured everything he wrote, specially during the days of the Marcos dictatorship.  Here is his take on the latest Filipino fiasco:
 
http://www.philstar.com/philstar/NEWS200407162602.htm 

Open Season on Filipinos and the Philippine Government

Now that the Philippine government has shown terrorists worldwide that they can be bullied to do something, it is open season for us. Muslim extremists in southern Philippines and Jamaah Islamiyah of Asia have cause to rejoice. The future is bright for them. As long as there is someone to kidnap and behead, the Philippine government will do their bidding. Why don't we just concede and give them the reins of government to prevent any other threats? That way, nobody has to be kidnapped and threatened with death anymore.

Just when we thought the Philippine government could not do any more wrong, it manages to surprise us.

I am fiercely proud of who I am and being a Filipino in many, many ways eventhough the behavior of the Philippine government and politicians have brought shame to us many times. But today, my head hangs a little bit lower.

XX years ago, I...

I got this in an email from my niece, Portia ( http://porsh.blogspot.com ). It's one of those fill-in-the-blank stuff. I thought it would be interesting to put up here.

10 Years Ago, I...
1. was in San Francisco when the big earthquake hit LA. Tricia and I felt the “pre-shock” the night before I left in Pacific Palisades. We were terrified as their house was right on a cliff.
2. shot “Buhay Makulay”, a musical special made for TV with Ray-An Fuentes, Jo Lastimosa, Martin Nievera, Tricia Amper-Jimenez, Duncan Ramos, AJ Eigenmann, etc. in Virginia Beach, VA for 700 Club International. CBN "hijacked" all the Philippine channels during prime time of easter week that year, and inundated everyone with our faces. Haha!

8 Years Ago, I...
1. went backpacking alone through Europe for a month. I did meet up with friends who lived in Belgium, France, United Kingdom, the Netherlands and Germany.
2. met Prince Philippe of Belgium. Very nice and unassuming man with a self-deprecating sense of humor.
3. got offered a role in Miss Saigon while visiting the German production.
4. did the role of Belle for a Broadway revue, “The Great White Way”.
5. got offered the role of Svetlana by Monique Wilson for the musical, “Chess” which was slated to be done in the summer of 1996.

5 Years Ago, I...
1. did my last performance in a ten-year span as Asenath for the musical, “Joseph the Dreamer” with Gary Valenciano as Joseph.
2. quit my job at a Swiss sugar trading firm where I worked for a year.
3. got an interim job at the European Union to write their 1999 Living Conditions Report and the 1999 Country Report. Those two reports are the basis of how much compensation and benefits the diplomats get. Boy, were they ever nice to me!
4. got offered a job at Disney World Florida to be part of their Millennium Celebration project which spans 15 months.
5. shot my last TV commercial in Manila for Bayantel, and it was with my MOM!!! We had been offered the parts separately and went home to tell each other about it and found out we were appearing in the same TV Commercial. I played a nagging daughter to my mother. Art imitating life? :)
6. left Manila and arrived in Florida to work with Disney.
7. met Hubby.

3 Years Ago, I...
1. moved into the apartment in Malden with M after living temporarily in Cambridge.
2. applied for a permanent resident card and Michael and I had our interview three months later.
3. started my job in Sasaki Associates in Watertown, MA.
4. got Figaro as a surprise gift from M.
5. got the chance to have a walk-on part in a national TV commercial for Merrill Lynch. I never saw it!

A Year Ago, I...
1. couldn’t go home for my father’s funeral.
2. started working for a financial firm in Boston, MA.
3. had the mole on my chin removed.
4. went to Las Vegas and Grand Canyon with M.

This Year, I...
1. went to Southern California and Tijuana with M. That was fun!
2. will turn 34. Ugh.
3. will get my headshots done. I said that last year though.
4. will apply for my US citizenship.

Today, I...
1. will try to work as best as I can no matter how sick I still feel.
2. hope M feels better.

Tomorrow I will...
1. go to work as usual.
2. try not to get in trouble.

Fools Are Proud and the Wise Are Humble

Last Sunday's sermon in church was about the quality that a lot of people lack these days, genuine humility. The minister expounds that real humility is when you do not measure yourself on how you stack against other people. He adds modesty is not enough since it is merely knowing how to act humble when the heart may still feel haughty and proud inside, that we should instead compare ourselves to God so that we know what our true state is. He warns how God is and will go against people who are proud, who think they are better than others, either because of their possessions or what they think their stature is because of their titles. A verse that I continually repeat to myself is Proverbs 16:18 where it warns that, "Pride goes before destruction, a haughty spirit before a fall." (Thesaurus result for haughty: proud, arrogant, conceited, self-important, snooty, stuck-up, puffed-up, overconfident, self-aggrandizing, high and mighty.)

I was always taught that humility is a virtue that we should practice. Old school ways even teach that the higher you are, the more humble you should be. It's because wise people know that whatever they possess comes with great responsibility. One will find a difference in those people who come from old money (whether they still have it or not), and those who are newly rich or as the French refers to them, "nouveau riche". This includes part of the bourgeoisie or the middle class who used to be "have-nots" but have a bit more money now than they were previously used to. The former feel they have nothing to prove and go about their business. They wear their wealth like an old, comfortable shirt. They go about what they do with a sense of duty. The latter may not possess the same sense of accountability because their concern may be to show off their newly acquired "shirt" more than anything else. Insecurity makes them feel the need to shout about what they have, strut in their supposed status in the town square. They devise ways to make everyone feel small so that they can feel good about themselves.

I remember my teenage years when my youthful pride reigned supreme because I needed to prove myself, as most youths are wont to be. I was involved in the local show business back home and the treatment you get there can really get to your head. My wise mother and very close friends (fellow performing artists) would be my check and balance. My mom kept my feet on the ground in gentle and (most of the time, heheh!) loving correction. And with my friends, I realized that the giftings and talents of people are all different but together they balance each other. A truthful assessment of one's abilities is a good thing since one can really tap into their talents and complement another person's strong and weak points. My friends and I really achieved meaningful productions and work when we strove for a common goal. We also learned a lot from each other, through good and bad times, through camaraderie and even fights! I would be dishonest (and proud) if I say that I have totally outgrown feeling smug at times. It is difficult, especially around arrogant and pretentious people whom you want to bring down to earth with a sarcastic remark or two. Although sometimes it is called for. But I get reminded of my Mom and mentor-friends' careful instruction. Long ago, a minister who did a study on the life of Solomon really made an impact on me. Solomon's pursuit of wisdom above all things impressed me so much that I started praying from that day on that God would grant me wisdom. In gaining wisdom though, you need a lot of humility. Humility to learn from everyone, even the ones whom you think have nothing to teach you. It's an everyday struggle, thus I keep in mind another favorite verse:

Proverbs 11:2
When pride comes, then comes disgrace, but with humility comes wisdom.

Foolish or Wise?