Things Better Left Unsaid

I am lifting this off someone else's blog. The rules are to list (20) things you want to say to 20 unnamed people but know you never will.

I thought I'd have some therapy making this list. Since I make it a point to try and always verbalize whatever is good and encouraging, you will find that my list only contains the not-so-good stuff unlike the other lists I've read. I usually am straightforward to close friends who are secure in the fact that I love them enough to tell them the truth. I expect the same from them about things I need to work on. But as you can imagine with the rest of the world, there are a gazillion sarcastic/honest remarks that remain where it should - in my head. :)

1. Stop lying to yourself and the world. Just admit it and move on. Others have.

2. Believe me, you're not all that. The sooner you realize it, the more you can focus on the qualities that you do have.

3. Grow up and get a self-esteem. Adding women to your cap like feathers may win you the approval of shallow and chauvinistic men such as yourself, but it doesn't win you the admiration of people with integrity.

4. Stop living vicariously through her. Go out and get your own life.

5. Do yourself a huge favor and leave him. He's not good for you...or anyone else.

6. I am not the darn Help Desk. Please call them instead of me!

7. Hunni, the Elvira look went out of fashion decades ago.

8. Stay away from me. I already told you I'm married, creep.

9. Enough side remarks and prattle. Let's just move on to the next, please!

10. One of these days, you're gonna get what's coming to you and it's too bad I won't be at the ringside watching and eating popcorn.

11. Your wife is not your slave and baby maker. She's a human being with her own needs and dreams that you should help nurture.

12. If you're so brilliant, how come you're living off the state?

13. You think you're being sly but people can read you like a book. Everyone's just too polite to say anything.

14. I think everyone has a purpose in life. Yours is to serve as a warning to others.

15. Keeping your wife from getting her legal status so you can control her says a whole lot about what's inside you. You need serious help.

16. It's just something I normally do for everyone so please don't mistake it for anything other than friendly consideration.

17. You truly do your children a disservice. I hope they don't turn out like you.

18. Er...how did you do your job before I came?

19. I'm glad you've become a humbler person. I really couldn't stand you before.

20. After decades of being here, you still don't get it. The world does not revolve around you.

Whew! This took me longer than I thought. But there, it's done. Will I ever say it? Who knows. Haha!

High and Dry

Lately, I haven't been able to focus my thoughts long enough on any particular thing to put them down in writing. It is definitely not for a lack of opinion, or emotion, or things to write about. I guess I'm just going through a dry spell. Sorting my thoughts out and putting them "on paper" is just a real effort these days.

Although the things I've mulled over the past few weeks range from general stuff like the Filipino self-esteem in terms of the Desperate Housewives brouhaha; people who don't put any value to their verbal commitments; my current involvement in the company's campaign for the United Way (non-profit); to more personal stuff like career next-steps, as I've been asked if I would consider moving to another state for the company; and analyzing motivations for a character I'm playing in a show I'm doing. I can expound on each one of these but somehow I am just not in the mood to do so.

I'm just in a rut.

Add me, add me not.

I enjoy social networking sites because it makes you realize how long and varied the arms of friendship you have established. It also makes you realize people are connected in many ways. The first one I ever signed up for way back in the mid 90s was sixdegrees.com. At that time, the internet was only beginning to flourish in the Philippines so not a lot of my friends were that much into it yet, so the people I connected with were mostly in the US and 'nerds' from different countries who owned computers and were used to subscribing to electronic bulletin boards and chat servers. Six Degrees started charging after a while so I didn't renew my subscription.

A decade later, I can't even count how many free networking sites I am a member of and I can hardly keep up. I get so many persistent invitations to connect with a certain set of friends from different times in my life that I eventually sign up for it. It's always fun to reconnect and know that when you want to reach out to someone, they are only a mouse-click away.

Once in a while though, I get these questionable add-me notices or requests from men that I don't know from Adam. Reading the profile of some can be quite entertaining, and sometimes a little uncomfortable, because you know that they're there for one purpose - and that is to pick-up people. Of course, I just try to ignore these requests and not respond lest I draw more unwanted attention. It can be exasperating though.

I guess there's always going to be a downside to a good thing, huh?

Sledgehammer

Remember this?



I think it's one of the most memorable music videos ever made. It's definitely one of my favorites alongside "Take On Me" by A-ha.

So Long, Teri

Today, God embraced a good friend into His bosom. After years of battling cancer, He has given Teri peaceful rest in His arms.

Teri, we will miss your smile, your affectionate ways, your sweetness and your laughter.

Oh, and tell Monique we said hello. We will surely see you both again some day.

In the meantime, we will strive to live the way you did - in faith, in love, in joy and in hope, no matter what the circumstance.

We love you, Teri. We won't say goodbye, just "...so long!"

Darn Boston Pedestrians

Bostonians take rights very seriously. They abuse one in particular, and that is the pedestrian right-of-way.

Massachusetts Law of the Road, Chapter 89, section 11 says, "No driver of a vehicle shall pass any other vehicle which has stopped at a marked crosswalk to permit a pedestrian to cross, nor shall any such operator enter a marked crosswalk while a pedestrian is crossing or until there is a sufficient space beyond the crosswalk to accommodate the vehicle he is operating, notwithstanding that a traffic control signal may indicate that vehicles may proceed."

Boston pedestrians, however, jaywalk with relish, with no regard to the crosswalk or whatever the nearest traffic light indicates. They expect cars to stop for them, no matter if the traffic light says otherwise. We have been stuck at many intersections going through two cycles of green lights, just because pedestrians here just proceed to go on crosswalks without even looking up while they're on their cellphones or busy talking to whomever they're walking with. And even when they realize that they're blocking the whole intersection, they still take their sweet time to get across with not a care in the world. One time, a car to our right dared to toot their horn to get a guy to move quicker because the light was about to change to red again. The pedestrian actually had the audacity to look offended and scream at the driver of the car. In frustration at one point, I rolled down my window and reminded a pedestrian to look at the traffic light before crossing so she won't get into or cause an accident, and she flipped me the bird.

I wish Boston cops would give jaywalking citations, just as easily as other traffic tickets. Yes, people need to drive carefully, but pedestrians need to cross lawfully and responsibly, as well.

Beauty Pageant Q & A

I guess we, Filipinos, don't have the monopoly on funny answers to beauty pageant questions! Miss Teen South Carolina gives her two-cents' worth on why a fifth of Americans can't locate the the US on a world map.

Poor girl. We all have our embarrassing moments, but to have it happen on national television with millions of viewers watching and at least 51 girls forever recording the event for posterity - that must not be pleasant.

Doggie Spa?

Last night, I was finishing up painting a wall in one room that I had left undone over the weekend. I decided to take a break between the first and second coat to attend to other things in the house.

I walked into our bedroom a few minutes later and to my horror, saw Katy & George on the beanbag playing with the foam brush I had just left in the other room. There was blue paint on the beanbag, the floor and on them.

Nope, that's not make-up!

And, Katy does not have a pedicure! (She had the paint mostly on her paws, nails and legs.)

The initial feeling of shock was quickly replaced by laughter as we saw both puppies with paint and realized how cute they looked. Hubby quickly ran to get his camera and captured the moment for posterity before I washed the paint off.

These two have definitely wrapped us around their little fingers...er...I mean, paws.

House Stuff

It only took us nine months, but we have finally picked up the paint brushes and started painting the second level of the house. Last December, we finished all the rooms on the first floor, except those that we plan to remodel. That's when we parked up all the painting paraphernalia in the basement and decided to wait until summer to do the rest of the house. We have been dragging our feet since then.

Yesterday, we somehow found ourselves taping all the moldings at mid-afternoon. We've changed our minds on some colors and we've been perusing the Benjamin Moore site for alternatives. I'm glad we waited a bit to do this as the colors we chose before does not seem as appealing as the ones we have now. Hopefully, it will take only another weekend to finish.

We've also had our baptism of fire in lawn mowing, weed-pulling, etc. Home ownership and maintenance is not a picnic. Although when I'm killing weeds and I look across the lawn and see Hubby catch my eye and smile as he is trimming the plants and trees, it just makes it all worthwhile.

Little George

This is "who" I get on my special day. We thought we'd get another dog to keep Miss Katy, our playful Westie, company during those hours that Hubby and I aren't home. He's a Rat Terrier, all 1.9 lbs. of him. His mom was rescued from a puppy mill and happened to be on the way, so he and his littermates were all put up for adoption. We originally planned on adopting a rescued Westie, if we ever found one. However, Hubby and I, being the bleeding hearts that we are (read: suckers), could not resist George's puppy eyes.

I mean, can you?

Filipino Inmates do "Thriller"

This is so hilarious, I just had to share it.

Where else can you find inmates willing to do something like this? I think they did a great job, too!



Talk about channeling energy into something wholesome and positive. I applaud the prison warden!

Fresh Off the Boat

A lot of people here in the US need to develop a more global view. Many who are born or grew up here, and who have never been out of this country much, take on an attitude that if you're not from here, then you come from some backwater and that you do not know much. If you got here recently, whether it's to stay or just to visit, you will definitely get your share of questions. Here were a few of mine.


"You have a college degree!?" - I was asked in shock when I was having a conversation with someone about master's degrees and mentioned pondering over getting one.

"Are you willing to clean?" - When someone heard that my previous work visa expired and I was waiting for the new US work permit to kick in.

"You speak English so well!" - Someone uttered during a casual conversation.

"You came here on a work visa? How did you do that!?" - Incredulously exclaimed by someone when I answered his question of how I got here.

"So how much do you like it here?" - Someone asked me who assumes that nothing is better than being in the US.


Obviously, these questions come from individuals who lack some couth. In a roundabout way, I usually end up trying to pique their curiosity, and encourage them to read up on other countries, if they can't or won't travel and see the world. I am only too happy to have the opportunity to correct someone's gross misconceptions of people who are "fresh off the boat".

Kabayan Issue

Kabayan, PINOYexpats’ latest edition is finally online after a six-month hiatus. The spotlight is on our beloved Overseas Filipino Workers (OFWs) - their thoughts, their lives and the sacrifices that they make in order find a better life for themselves and for their families in the Philippines.

Please take the time to check it out. Thank you!

What is worth your husband and children?

A friend's wife just took off yesterday - leaving a goodbye note for him and for each of her children, a 1-year old and a 5-month old.

The main reason? She could never give enough money to send to her parents and siblings back in the Philippines, so she, in her flawed logic, decided to leave in order to earn more money to send to her family back in the Philippines. Her overblown sense of duty, as well as her father's demands, call for her to put both her siblings through school, pay off her father's debt and support her parents in luxury, even when both her parents are gainfully employed and has good social and community standing in their town.

When her American husband called her father to tell him what had happened, he thought he was going to get some sympathy. To his surprise, the response was, "Well, if you just send the entire amount for her siblings' tuition (which was about a thousand dollars each), then she'll probably come back. Where is that money anyway? She was supposed to have sent it already. She promised." That was it - no concern for the well-being of his daughter, his son-in-law and his grandkids. The money he's asking for is in addition to an average of $300 that they already send per month to her whole family in that little Southern town.

There's more to this story but I can't write more about it without offending sensibilities. I've seen this happen, time and again, to any small town Filipino woman who marries a non-Filipino. It's almost like their family starts to treat them like a charitable institution that will give them money at the drop of a hat every time they want something, whether it's a necessity, a whim or a luxury. And the shameless guilt-trip laying, the made-up stories that they concoct only to siphon off more money is embarrassing, to say the least. I get asked by many people why their spouse's families are like that. They think I can give them a little more insight because I am Filipino and I know our culture. Everyone hates to talk about it, but it's a harsh reality. And I'm finding myself having to try and explain it to people more and more. Believe me, it's not a great position to be in.

Cobwebs In My Mind

On my way to work this morning in the elevator, I looked up at the elevator screen Captivate network just for the latest news and tidbits. The one-liner that I chewed on long after was, "Chronic pain hampers our memory-making process." It was a sort of a confirmation of what I've been thinking happened to me in my 20s.

My 20s were the busiest, and most turbulent, times of my life. A crazy schedule because of two careers, different gigs and a marriage on the rocks made it all a blur. At that time, I went around feeling like a had 300 lbs. of ACME steel (the kind Wile E. Coyote always tried to use on the Roadrunner) sitting on my chest because of what was happening to my marriage then. Emotional pain was a constant companion, but I somehow managed to function, keep myself busy and find solace and joy in God, my dear friends and work. I remember the highlights and the worst moments, for sure - but everything else seems to have gathered cobwebs in my mind until someone manages to clear it off.

Mom: "I heard from you cousin, V. She and her husband now have a little girl."
Me: "She got married!? When!?"
Mom: "What are you talking about? You sang at her wedding!"
Me: "I did?!"

And I really could not remember a thing even when I saw the evidence - a photo of the beaming bride with me smiling beside her. I have had similar conversations with my friends when I had to dig very deep in order to remember. I assure you, I was not on any mood-altering drug then or at any time - no valium, no Prozac.

I guess the energy my body poured into keeping my state of mind on an even keel then didn't leave much for my memory-making process. I'm not certain it's working that well now, but I think age is to blame this time.

Pants On Fire

Are you a liar? I am, at times.

What causes us to lie?

Laziness?
Cowardice?
Fear?
Shame?
Malice?

Or do we like to tell ourselves that it's kindness because we're sparing someone's feelings? Is it because we feel that the other person can't handle the truth? Are they emotionally or intellectually inept? Would it be better to continually lie to someone and keep them enabled and in the dark or tell them the truth even if it might hurt and give them a chance to deal with it? Like when someone tells me I'm fat, it might sting but then I can lose weight and look and feel better physically. Just please don't let it be the first thing that comes out of your mouth when you greet me! :)

Yeah, we're all guilty of lying, at one time or another, and some more often than others. It's so insulting when we're the one being lied to. We feel disrespected - taken for a fool.

Maybe that's what we should think of before we lie to someone next time.

My Weight According to Everyone

"Fat," Mom uttered when I showed her our new photos - Katy's, our pup, and my latest headshots, which I think were nice to say the least. She also said, "Your dog is so cute." That's it. No other comment was made.

"So, are you fat?," is the first thing that a sister-in-law said when I talked to her over the phone for the first time in three years.

"You got fat," a former schoolmate nicely volunteered after looking over another set of photos.


What is it about Philippine old school ways and their obssession with everyone's weight? It's practically the first utterance out of someone's mouth the moment they see you if you haven't seen or talked to each other for a while. I know it's meant in affection most of the time and I usually take it in stride. However, it can be quite annoying when I'm not having a good day.

I'm not as slim as I used to be when I was in my 20s. I see it everyday.

I get it. Thanks for the concern. :)

The Nerve of Paris

"No! It's not right!"

Tell me, Paris. What's not right - the fact that you drove under the influence of alcohol and endangered other people's lives or the fact that you ignored the law twice after that and drove with a suspended license?

Oh, wait - you think it's not right that you're going to jail? Why is that not right? Is it because you're special? Why, you're Paris Hilton and you are above the law! Your family's wealth can buy you out of any trouble!

"I must also say that I was shocked to see all of the attention devoted to the amount of time I would spend in jail for what I had done by the media, public and city officials. I would hope going forward that the public and the media will focus on more important things like the men and women serving our country in Iraq and other places around the world."

Now suddenly, you want people to have selective attention and look the other way while you're trying to weasel your way out of serving your jail term - telling everyone to focus on "more important things"? Why, you lapped up and made money out of all the attention showered to you by people and the media before!

When are you and your buddies going to stop drinking and driving - when you've maimed and killed innocent people? Believe me, you'll live with that much longer than a 45-day jail sentence.

If you use the time right, this jail term might actually be the best thing to happen to you. I just hope your parents don't continue to mess it up for you. I hope that instead of teaching you that there is always a way to circumvent the law, that they would go buy themselves some parenting skills. They can certainly afford to do so.

Very Merry Month

The merry month of May was made merrier by the visit of two special people to our home. It is very rare that I get a visit from anyone in the Philippines so to get two in a month is such a treat!

First, my friend Sheila Francisco dropped by after her NY visit en route to San Francisco. It was a short three-day visit, but like a typhoon touchdown - very memorable. Those of you who know Sheila know much of a riot she is to have around. Even our pup, Katy could not leave her alone. She even kept Sheila company in the guest room for a couple of nights. Thanks for taking the time, my friend. We'll see you in London!!!

Our second visitor was my dear niece, Trixie. She spent almost a week with us, which was good because we got the chance to get to know each other better and have some bonding time. I was too busy balancing two careers when she was growing up, so I really didn't see her much except for the infrequent clan get-togethers. I had such a nice time just getting to know this well-adjusted young lady whom I last saw only as a teen five years ago during my last visit to Manila. We had a true meeting of minds, from one adult to another. I got to know her joys, angsts and I must say I really like the woman she has become. I am very proud to be able to call her my niece.

It's always a treat for me to see family and friends from back home. It gives me a sense of connection to the things that are happening there. They bring a piece of home to me.

Blonde and Purple

This month has been a flurry of activities and I haven't found the time to really unwind and just blog ever since that weekend my friends and I had in New York.

Lito Villareal, Sheila Francisco and I spent the time just eating, catching up, discussing their upcoming auditions and watching shows. We caught the matinee of Legally Blonde the Musical on their opening week and all I can say is "Omigod, you guys!" We did nothing but laugh during the show, and those of you who know this trio know how we can laugh. Starting from that funny opening number in the sorority house, I sat there in disbelief that someone actually penned an entire song called Omigod, You Guys - we were carried through the surreal story of Elle Woods ending up as a Harvard Valedictorian with flawless choreography, witty writing, incredible singing voices, solid ensemble, and two heart-melting dog actors.

Our next stop was the evening performance of The Color Purple, headlined by Fantasia. We were able to get first row seats and were treated to one of the greatest displays of vocal prowess upclose. Fantasia is a natural. Some train all their lives to be on Broadway stage. This is her Broadway debut and she just nails it. She headlined the show with the same passion that won her American Idol, and the support cast rose up to the ocassion and matched her emotion per emotion, note per note. There was not a dry eye in the audience from beginning to end as the show felt more like a religious experience than anything.

I left New York the next day wishing Lito and Sheila well on both their auditions and hoping that one day, I'll be back to watch their opening nights.

Can't Wait

Tomorrow, I'm taking the early train to New York city to meet up with two close friends. It's been a very long while since the three of us were all in one place. I can't count how many shows and other kinds of gigs Sheila Francisco, Lito Villareal and I did together through the years, but there's nothing like doing something you love with people that you really enjoy being with. It forms a bond that remains unbroken by time and distance. So tomorrow, amidst New York city's background noise will be heard the same guffaws and laughter that regaled our Trumpets theatre family in Manila many years ago.

I just can't wait!!!

Girls Will Be Girls

One of our big bosses dropped by our offices yesterday for some meetings. This man, in his 50s, is the epitome of a Southern gentleman - tall, fit, handsome, confident, intelligent and just emanating charm. He made sure he greeted everyone in each work area he passed. One young grandmother, who's been with the company forever, greeted him and he gave her a fond kiss on the cheek. She blushed and positively glowed. She then asks me shyly if he was going to hang around our floor as she didn't want to risk him walking by her desk as she ate her lunch. I thought it was adorable how a nice, elderly lady still felt like a little schoolgirl beside an irresistible man. I teased her and asked her if she swooned, she said, "Did I ever!"

In the townhall meeting, I observed how he had the same effect on most of the women that he would talk to. Try as they may to hide it, one could not ignore the little girl smiles that they wore after. I even heard a giggle escape a few times. It's fascinating how a worldly, sophisticated man can turn even polished women to mush with the proper attention. It was very amusing to watch!

Friendly No More

I'm a friendly person. I usually acknowledge a friendly look with a nod, a slight smile and sometimes, even a casual greeting. I've noticed though that when it comes to men from a particular region of the world, an acknowledgement is mistakenly taken as an encouragement because they start to get fresh with the way they give me a look right after or the next time they see me. Sometimes, it even comes with an accompanying, "Hello, baby!" or some other lame come-on. Creepy!

Because of this, I'm less courteous, less friendly. It's safer than feeding the ego of these men who strut about like roosters, puffing up their chests and always trying to gauge how attractive they are from the reaction of any women who might just give them a glance. Grow up, you overgrown boys! There are less juvenile ways to gain and maintain self-esteem. :)

Umpteenth Blog Posting on Virginia Tech

I was reading about the victims of the Virginia Tech shooting and it is so sad to see how many meaningful and purposeful lives were cut off by a single person whose life did not hold much. Their lives, full of promise and hope for the future of a world they dreamed of changing, ended by someone whose life was spent in silent, simmering anger that finally boiled over - the usual scenario of almost any mass shooting.

Tragic.

Nevertheless, it is not uncommon to hear how individuals, who inspired others in life, galvanize everyone who knew them even more in their death. It shows that no matter how short their lives here were, their bright light still illuminates everything that surrounded them, long after it's been extinguished. Their death, no matter how unexpected and ugly, will somehow serve as a catalyst for change.

Snooty Old Lady

A colleague and I were chatting about work in a local Starbucks across our building. As she was talking about the new line of business that we had, an old lady who was reading one chair away from us at the counter, tapped her on the shoulder.

Lady: "Excuse, me, could you keep your voice down....?"
Colleague: "Oh...sorry..." She looks at the lady in surprise and turns to me in puzzlement.
Lady: "...it's a public place!" She adds haughtily.
Me: "Exactly. So if you want a quiet place to read. Go to a library."

There was music blaring and the baristas were taking orders loudly. I didn't understand why she thought my colleague's voice made it any worse. After simmering for a bit, she gathered up her stuff in a huff and took her little bum out of the place.

I know it was not good of me to snap. I just couldn't stand the little attitude and tone that she had when she addressed my colleague, not to mention her very lame reason for asking her to hush up. Grrr...

A Morning Like This

Christendom's reason for existence boils down to this day - the celebration of Jesus' resurrection symbolizing His victory over all our sins - past, present and future. It was a morning like this, centuries ago, that gives me the foundation of who I am and helps me define what I want to be every day of my life.

To me and many others, this day goes beyond the Easter bunny and Easter egg hunts. It is a reminder that if not for this day - nothing else holds much meaning, no matter who we supposedly are and how much we have.

Twila Paris singing "The Warrior is a Child/Do I Trust You"

Live Like A Dog

The other day, we were driving around with Katy in the backseat of the car. As we waited for a light to turn green in an intersection, a homeless woman approached our car begging for some money. Hubby rolled the window and put some in the cup she was holding. As the woman walked away, she stopped by the backseat window and started waving and talking to Katy, who looked up at her while happily curled up on a soft pillow. Instantly, I felt my throat tighten as I realized that the little pup seems to be living such a comfortable life compared to this woman.

These days, to live like a dog isn't necessarily a bad thing especially in America. A study I read said that the estimated total pet expenditure in the US in 2007 is $40.8 billion, that includes the pet purchase, food, supplies, vet care, medicines, grooming, boarding, etc. I wonder if that figure includes the ridiculous things that people who've gone overboard buy - i.e. pet strollers, complete pet furniture sets, wardrobe, designer collars, leashes and carriers, etc. That staggering amount can feed thousands of families in third world countries. Heck, it can pay a small country's debt.

It's a sobering fact that we, humans, sometimes tend to go overboard and get our priorities all wrong. There's something wrong with the picture when dogs and cats in the park are better dressed and accessorized than some of the people that are hanging out or sleeping on the park benches; when our four-legged companions are well-fed when some people are foraging for whatever food they can find in the trash .

It's difficult not to dote on our pets, especially when they sometimes behave with more loyalty and unconditional love than some people. We have been hurt so much by our fellow human beings that a lot of us have channeled our affection to our pets.

I guess all this is a symptom of an even deeper issue in society... and I have barely scratched its surface.

Midnight Caller

My sleep has been continually disrupted by the phone ringing in the last couple of weeks. For several nights now, my phone has been ringing at the ungodly hour of 2:00 am. The ringtone indicates to me that the caller ID is unavailable or unknown, so I would just slip back into my morphean state with no hesitation. I figured if it was really important, the caller would either leave a message or call again. However, in the last three days, I've been a sleep-starved business traveler and hearing that phone ring at night just drove me to distraction. I actually attempted to answer the phone two nights in a row to remind the caller what time it was with as much politeness I could muster at that time of the night. Every time I picked up, there was no answer and the line would go dead. It's creepy - but really, I'm really more irritated than fearful.

I guess I either need to change my number or just turn my phone off at night. My concern is missing a real emergency because of this inconsiderate bugger who has nothing better to do in the wee hours of the morning but dial someone's number. Grrrr!

Responsible

Responsible.

I've always been described as such by teachers, friends, bosses, etc. It felt good to be thought of that way. I have avoided a lot of unnecessary trouble in life because of that trait. However, it can be such a burden too, especially when you're one of the very few among a number of foolish and irresponsible individuals. I sometimes wish I could just be carefree like everyone else and not worry about other people's feelings and circumstance or the future. Maybe I will be happier.

I always knew being responsible was not easy, I just didn't realize until now how it can be so incredibly lonely, too.

My Dog Ate It...Really!

If you've been calling us on our landline this past week and we haven't been picking up, we have an explanation. Our little Katy ate our phone - well, not exactly.

I was wondering why the phone was not lit up and charging. I looked down and saw that it was firmly plugged. I looked at the connection at the base and it was securely fastened. So I did the next logical thing. I followed the cord and found what the pup did. She had chewed on the power supply cord clean and it's now in three pieces. Now, we have to look for the correct adapter for this phone, or buy a new set. *Sigh* If she wasn't so cute...

Our dog eating something is not an excuse. Not in our case, anyway!

A Dose of Faith

Katy, our adorable (or so I say!) little pup, has made me even softer when it comes to puppies and dogs. I saw a clip on this dog on CNN, and it led me to this one. My throat was pretty tight at the end of each clip.

This amazing two-legged dog has bipedally walked into people's hearts. Hers is another poignant lesson on the importance of having hope in seemingly bleak situations because extraordinary joy can actually come from it in unexpected forms.

Her name is Faith, and we all definitely need a little dose of her.

:)

A Young Man's View

Meralco Theatre Backstage

A young male friend, who I think of as my little brother, wrote this. I found it to be a breath of fresh air in this age of "hook-ups" and casual sex. Today, being the day of "love", I thought I would reprint his view.

Wackie, or Joaquin Valdes to everyone in the Philippines, opens up on his views on love, dating and courtship.

WHY I'VE NEVER HAD A "REAL" RELATIONSHIP

People often ask me why I‘ve never been in a relationship. Why I’ve never committed myself into a lasting romantic engagement. Why I’ve never had a “girlfriend”. Let me attempt to encompass in this short blog the answer I’ve waited 22 years to tell. In a lot of ways, I don’t necessarily think that the answer is complete just yet, but let me share with you what I have so far. Before anything else, let me hazard a disclaimer. My thoughts are mine, share in them as you wish; but if you choose otherwise, no offense will be taken. And vice versa.

A wise person told me once that a person could grow a week in a year or a year in a week. It was always awkward for me being a kid. I always felt that I was older than I really was. I got a long with the older kids; I listened to older music and generally felt I was older than my “body”. Oftentimes I’d wish that I’d sleep at night and then wake up an adult. Kids from broken homes can probably relate. It’s that pressure to “catch up” or to “deal” and adapt to things that make us grow up faster. Meaning to say, that even if I had gone through the normal “kid” stuff like XMEN, Batman, Voltron and The Visionaries, I still felt out of place. Its strange really, because while I enjoyed these “kid” things as a kid, I was conscious that they were for “kids”. Did I lose you yet? I thought so. Basically, I grew up all too fast and was exposed to a lot of things at too early a time in my life…too early. It’s a well-known fact that people reach a point in their lives where they are “awakened” to reality; it’s just a matter of when. Now some would easily translate this to the time they found out that Santa Clause was fake or that the Tooth Fairy was actually mom. Mine was when I found out that not all moms and dads stayed together. My turning point was when I saw that Love didn’t work out the way the books or the movies said it would. The prince didn’t always rescue the princess, and sometimes the evil witch did win. I realized that Love was actually just a word that people use, it wasn’t magical, it wasn’t special, it was just a word. I realized that some people didn’t even say it all that often. I realized that some people said it a little too often. Love had become a Hallmark card, a popcorn movie, a story and a song. Love was reduced to a commodity. But as the theory says: “for every action, there exists an equal and opposite reaction.” Instead of losing hope in the whole Love thing, I figured that Love must’ve had an unadulterated version of it before we people screwed things up. Love isn’t just Romeo and Juliet, Tom and Katie, Brad and Angelina, Dao Ming Tzu and Sunshine; I realized that if my picture was limited to Shakespeare, Neruda or even Wong Kar Wai, much less to the most recent love team, then my doubting “love” would turn out true. I didn’t want that to happen. As much as I wanted my doubts about love to be true, I knew in my heart that there was much more to the word than the feelings you get when she looked back. Love was more than the text messages of sweet nothings. Love was more than holding hands or even kissing. Love was more than sex. Love was more than a trial and error effort to find a “match”. I knew that there was more to Love, but still I doubted. I was jaded by the experience of this so-called Love falling short. But I was out to prove my cynicism wrong. So I made I vow to myself not to drop the L word unless I lived up to its original definition. Reading a lot of things, you more or less get a picture of what different people say about love. I read a lot, but no poet, novelist or even blogger pictured love clearer than this author: “No greater love than this, to lay down one’s life for a friend”. I was never one to spoonfeed so you’ll have to look for the author up yourself. Call me unreal or even preachy…but I couldn’t find a more perfect definition or picture of what Love really is. Then we go to my story.

I realized that being in a relationship is no joke. Dealing with your own life, soul and heart is hard enough, bringing another heart into the picture is almost dangerous. Fun, but dangerous. Don’t get me wrong here, I’m all for taking risks, trying adventures and even making mistakes; but I’d want to do that on my own first before I bring another person into the picture. I’ve had my own slew of “things” (not flings), that always almost ended up in a relationship, but as I look back I’m glad it didn’t. Why? Because looking back, my motivation wasn’t Love, it was loins. I wasn’t out to love someone, I was out to satisfy myself. To fill my need. Like a parasite that clings on a nother to feed its own cravings. That wasn’t love, that was just selfish. I could’ve easily fallen into that trap for the sole reason that it was that…easy. Like a game to be played. Except, I almost didn’t realize that this “game” was played with hearts not tokens, with emotions, not toys. Love was, is and will never be a game. The reason for not being in a relationship is my choice, because I feel that the only time I can actually be in one is when I’m ready to say “I love you”. The only time I’ll be ready is when I’m willing to put my life on the line. The only time I’ll put my life on the line, is when I know that She’s the one for sure. The easiest thing to do nowadays is to commit to something half-heartedly, the hardest thing to do is to withdraw when you realized that it was a mistake. I’m a big fan of Love and Relationships, in fact, I talk about it a lot (too much actually) with my friends, but at the same time I take it seriously. Heart issues are serious issues. If I’m not ready to be in a serious relationship, then why be in one at all? To get the benefits but not work for it? To eat an expensive steak dinner and not pay for it? To get a degree but not study for it? To take the easy way out? I’m not that kind of man. When I love someone, its full throttle. It may take time, and a lot of effort, but I’m willing to take THAT risk. I’d want to be the man that my woman deserves; ready to commit, ready to fight and ready to die for her. Until I’m at that point, I must focus on the fine tuning. When you love someone you want to offer her the best that you have, it may not be perfect, but it’s the best that you have. That’s what I’m working on now. I wouldn’t want to offer her anything half baked. There’s a lot of room to grow, in fact the growing never stops, it wasn’t until now, that I felt grown enough to even begin looking. But recent events have accelerated certain courses. I can’t fully say that I’m ready to drop the L word just yet, but I know that I can begin my real quest. A search that may or may not lead me to “Her” but it’s a search. Dating someone will NOT tell you if you’re ready to love that person, it will just open up a possibility…but the bottom line is you guard your heart.

I'm so proud of how our little Wackie has grown up to be a fine, young man. I pray that no matter what life sends his way, in the right time, he will find that special someone who will treat him with the same love and respect that he wants to offer.

Ain't true love grand? Happy Valentine's Day!

Much Ado

It's been the front page headline since yesterday afternoon in CNN, and it still is early this morning - the death of Anna Nicole Smith. It's sad that she's passed away and my sympathies go to her loved ones. However, it is making me wonder since there are so many things going on in the world - aren't there more news worthy of the front page of CNN?

Katy the Western Westie

The experts weren't exaggerating when they said that the West Highland White Terrier is a highly intelligent breed of dogs. Katy has just wrapped up her second day with us, and she has astounded us with the speed in which she learns things. This 9-week-old little Westie pup has already learned to "sit" and use the puppy pads when unable to go outside to do her "business". The challenge will be to keep this very sharp puppy constantly stimulated so she does not get bored and destructive.

It's been a very tiring but fun weekend getting to know this little thing - the morning and evening walks in sub-zero temperature, the cleaning up of little "accidents", etc. I don't know what possessed M and I to adopt a dog as having one is such a responsibility. I guess that's what couples do, whose nurturing instincts have overwhelmed them but are not quite ready for a baby just yet - they get a dog!

New Addition

She's the new addition to our household. She is nine weeks old and we take her home tomorrow night.

Hubby and I have always wanted a dog. Everytime we see one, the desire just grew stronger. After dogsitting Chloe, a friend's extremely adorable Shih Tzu a couple of times, we decided we could not hold it off any longer. We did our research and decided on the breed that we thought would suit our personalities best. She's a West Highland White Terrier - a handsome little breed when full-grown, and definitely adorable as a pup.

We're deciding on a name. Since she's a Scot by ethnicity, we thought we'd come up with a Scottish moniker - but we're still open to suggestions. Any ideas?

Photo credit: Kingdom of Pets

Freezing Friday

An arctic blast envelops our nice little city today. As I write this it is 4F outside, -13F with wind chill factor. To folks who use metric, that is -14C, and -26C with wind chill factor. Invigorating weather, isn't it!? It's the coldest it's been in three years here. I felt its full force as I made my way to work this morning. As a person used to island weather, I have acclimated to this place better than I thought. Taking up skiing as a hobby helped as well, because the winter does not seem as long for us when we are out and about enjoying it.

It's a good, clear, sunny, albeit icy morning here. I hope you guys stay warm whether you're here nearby or farway. Before I go, let me leave you with something to mentally chew on this weekend from Helen Keller -

No pessimist ever discovered the secret of the stars, or sailed to an uncharted land, or opened a new doorway for the human spirit.

'Nuff said.

What We Do For A Wii

Did wii get up in the cold and wii hours just to line up to get one?

Did wii wrestle with people physically or verbally just to get our hands on the last one?

Did wii suffer water intoxication and die just to try to win one?

How much do we want something and what are we willing to do to get it? Our culture is fast becoming one of quick 'fixes', materialism and conformity. Are we not cool or special unless we get something ahead of most people? And once everyone has it, where do our feelings of being special go? I guess it's gone until we find the latest and greatest to own ahead of everyone else again. Is that what it's all about?

It's so sad that Jennifer Strange in Rancho Cordova, California died trying to win a Wii for her children. Even sadder that a radio station, very much aware of the dangers and possible fatal results of water intoxication, still held the water-drinking and pee-holding contest to lure listeners and of course, advertisers. I don't blame her for trying to win one because of all the hype and over-inflated prices. It's heartbreaking that she felt she needed to do this to fulfill her kids' wishes.

Parents, we know we love our kids and would do almost anything to give them what they want - but have we carefully thought of the message that we send our children when they see us willing to fight anyone or do whatever it takes just to get our hands on a friggin' toy? We are telling them that having those material things matter more than patience, frugality, civility and life itself - that we're not good enough if we don't have the latest thing that everyone else has or wants. Is that where we really want our children to draw their self-esteem from?

What happened to teaching the value and wisdom of-

-being our own selves and not having to be like everyone else and give in to peer pressure?
-delayed gratification?
-having the patience to wait for a good thing?
-working hard to save up for something we want?
-building our self-esteem on more lasting things like character?

Oh, I enjoy playing the Wii when my nephew brings his over. I think it's a great videogame as it really gets us off our lazy butts. But, waiting to get something is good, too. If we still want it in a couple of months, then it just might be worth spending for because then we know it's just not going to be a very expensive passing fancy. If not, then that's hundreds of dollars more for our savings. And that can probably buy us something more lasting in the future - like maybe a good education for our children.

Frosted Flakes

I'm not referring to the cereal. I'm alluding to people who are unreliable - or as the slang says, "flaky". You can't depend on anything they say because no matter how much they assure you that they're going to do something, it just does not happen. The worse kind is the "frosted" - because most of the time, the words that come out of this kind of flakes' mouths are sugar-coated. It's almost like they add the sweetness to make the taste of their BS more apparent when you finally get screwed over.

Nothing gets my goat more than someone who has long promised me something and then not doing it. Especially when what I'm asking from them (which should not cost them money at all if it was planned ahead) is something that I need in order to do the costly favor that they were asking of me in the first place. I have experienced flakiness before, but this kind of took the cake.

Never again will I be scrambling at the last minute, on my own dime, to find what I need, in order to fulfill a favor that has been asked of me. If you don't keep your end of our agreement, no longer will I worry about keeping mine - no matter how much time, effort and money I've already invested into it. Go find someone else to flake out on.

First Week

I've spent the first week of the New Year fighting off a bad cold. It started as a little tickle in my throat a couple of days before the New Year. From then on, I've been downing medicines like crazy to stave off the microbes that were laying siege to my system. There was just no way I was going to give in as we were slated to host the family for New Year's Eve . We had everything all figured out - dinnerware, flatware, stemware, placecard holders, wine, hors d'oeuvres, appetizer, entrees, dessert, etc. Aside from the fact that I wasn't my usual kissy and huggy self to prevent the spread of my holiday germs, everything went great with the dinner, the countdown, the dancing, the Wii-playing. We had loads of fun! We had so much food left over that I invited everyone back the next day to pick up from where we left off. Am I a sucker for punishment!? This time though, we used plastic ware so we would not stay up washing dishes until the wee hours of the morning. The merriment continued until late into the night as nobody wanted to break up the party. It was torture getting up the next day to get to work - so much that I vowed to take the 2nd of January off every year from now on.

The first week at work was uneventful, thankfully. Given my cold meds-ridden condition, I probably couldn't take our usual crazy week. It was slow enough for me to decide to just work from home today and get over the cold and the extreme muscle ache from too much Wii workout. It's awesome to be able to work in my jammies and take a siesta at mid-day.

After the last two busy holiday weekends, we plan to just veg and chill this weekend to recover. It makes me giddy just to think about it! :)

A fantastic 2007 to all!!!

It's The Most Stressful Time of the Year

We've done nothing in the past several weekends but work on and spruce up the house - painting, unpacking, shopping, re-arranging furniture, have the pipes worked on, installing garbage disposal, changing lightbulbs, wall sockets, etc. The list is endless. I have never been to Home Depot as much as I have in the past month! Adding to the frantic pace was the knowledge that the holiday season was upon us and we were NOT ready. Moving and settling into a home is already stressful, not to mention having to prepare for Christmas and New Year at the same time.

Somehow, in all the craziness, we drove out early morning last Sunday and got ourselves a fresh tree. We took the time from our home improvement schedule to put it up and hang trimmings. Fortunately, we had stashed safely, our discounted Christmas decors from Crate and Barrel, after we raided the store last year during the day-after-Christmas sale. Little did we know that by the time we used them, it would no longer be in our apartment but our own home.

It was a nice time to slow down and start savoring the holiday season that seemed to pass unnoticed, by us. The smell of pine and the carols playing helped us remember what time of the year it is. For every trimming we hung, our hearts brimmed with thanks at the amazing blessings that God granted us this year.

May we never forget to appreciate the Giver of all the kinds of gifts that we have received.

Have a Joyful and Peaceful Christmas, everyone!

The First Time the Bug Bit

Sound of Music - 6th Grade
Originally uploaded by MadMuse.

My school had a grand reunion several days ago. Needless to say, I wasn't able to attend in person as I am too house-poor to do any traveling for the next ten years. I was, however, able to attend via video-conferencing, which was okay - but, of course, nothing like being there.

Anyway, they had a slideshow which showed all our horrendous sixth grade photos, plus a few of the activities that we had that year. This photo has a special place in my heart because this was my first ever theatrical venture and it was done in school. Oh, I've had a couple of ballet recitals under Shirley Halili-Cruz by then but this was when the bug really bit and I knew I belonged onstage.

My road to getting the role was not easy, but that's for another blog. Can you pick me out? :)

Not Just Yet

Today, I officially got blown off the position I was seeking nearly six months after I put my foot forward for consideration. The consolation is, I was one of the "last men standing". It felt good to be even considered for the job, given the short time that I've been with the company. I was encouraged by the senior execs to gain more experience as they believe that I had the potential to eventually grow into the role in the near future. I just wasn't ready now - not just yet. I was told that they are very supportive of me finding another role that would provide me that experience that I need in order to hone and maximize my potential. So yes there is some disappointment, but there is also promise.

From what I've seen of the disappointments in my life, things always have a way of turning out better than I had originally planned or desired. It just takes a bit of patience and faith to watch it all unfold. So I'll give it my best while I wait and see.

In the meantime, Hubby got his year-end review in. He was rated as "Outstanding, without peer". I really didn't know what that meant until he explained it to me. Apparently, it's a rating rarely given out in their company, and it means that he excelled in every aspect of doing his job - above his colleagues. With all the hard work he's been putting in, I'm glad he finally got some well-deserved recognition. Congratulations, Hunni!

:*

You're Gonna Love Me...

Oh my gosh! GRABE! SOBRA!

No one can ever do this song the way Jennifer Holiday did. My goosebumps give her a standing ovation everytime I replay this clip.

Yup, you gotta love her in that performance!

Back to Reality

Lito&Pia
Originally uploaded by MadMuse.

After a nice break in Florida for Thanksgiving and a niece's wedding, we are now back to reality - back to our hectic work schedule and to living in our house, out of the boxes that we have yet to unpack.

At my request, Lito Villareal obliged and flew to Florida to sing "The Prayer" with me for the wedding. We started singing together when we were in our teens. And now, decades later, it's nice to know that we still share, not only the same musical chemistry, but the same ridiculous sense of humor like before. Yes, many things in life change, but some things remain the same. That's very comforting - kind of like a nice, King-sized pillow - kind of like Lito. :)

Maraming Salamat

It's been a wild couple of months - home-buying, business trip, moving, unpacking and trying to settle in our new home while still trying to live and do the day-to-day stuff. It's been quite a ride! We're not even finished unpacking, and we're off in a couple of days to sunny Florida for Thanksgiving and a family wedding. Truthfully, I would rather stay and finish settling into the house just because I hate leaving things in disarray - but family commitments are a priority. Some of them anyway. :) Besides, I've asked an old friend to sing with me in the wedding. It's been at least seven years since Lito Villareal and I sang and were onstage together in Manila. It will be great to sing again with an old friend, especially one whom I think has one of the best singing voices I've ever heard.

Hubby and I have a lot to be thankful for this coming holiday. Year 6 has been packed with blessings - pressed down, shaken together and running over. That goes, as well, for our gratitude to God, close family and friends who have been and are with us all throughout.

Maraming Salamat talaga! :)

Going Offline

Okay, folks. Since Comcast did not come through with their promise to get us connected with cable and internet yesterday, we're not sure when they are going to get around to it. In the meantime, I am going offline and will try to get settled into our new place as soon as possible. Hopefully, it won't be too long until we're back online.

Hope to catch you all then!

Done Deal

It's a done deal! A few days ago, we closed on our house and got our keys. We are now officially slaves of the Bank for the next 30 years. Never did I think that I would be happy to be enslaved. :)

Yesterday, we went to Home Depot to buy a few appliances that the house was still missing. Today, we lined up at 7:30 am for an hour and a half to get into the Crate and Barrel warehouse sale a few towns away. We managed to snag a nice, big dining table for a quarter of the original price. Yeah, it has a few scratches but it's nothing that a table runner can't hide. We picked out a few more things and tore ourselves away. There were a few other pieces that we would have wanted to get but we decided that we had spent enough. It was totally out of our usual spending pattern that the bank actually called us after we got home to verify our purchases!

And now, to pack. I wish we could fast-forward and skip the entire thing. It's the part of this entire process that I would rather do without!

Grammar gone wrong

Lately, I have noticed that my English grammar has suffered quite a bit. I used to be able to spot errors instantaneously, be it verbal or written. Now, it takes a few seconds before it registers in my brain. Sometimes, I don't even notice it at all.

Living in the US these last seven years has made me relax about grammar. People in the Philippines, who speak the language fluently will consider it funny when they hear grammatical errors. There, Filipino comedians doing a script with pidgin' English always elicit raucous laughter.

Here, one butchers the language and nobody gives a hoot. Besides, I don't think anyone can do worse than all those rap songs that hold the airwaves captive these days. So, I have taken to asking Hubby to proofread whatever I write, in case rap songs have made their permanent mark in the area of my brain where my linguistic capabilities lie, and manifest itself in my business correspondences and work projects.

Er...Hunni, can you proofread my blog too?

On Pins & Needles

In a little more than a week from now, should everything go as smoothly as from when it started two weeks ago, we are scheduled to close on the house that we chose. I can't say that it is our dream house but it's a pretty darn good house to start with - a charming colonial on the side of a hill, in a quaint neighborhood, a few miles from the city. The house is in move-in condition although we have a few updates in mind already for some areas in the future.

Someone told me five years ago that if we didn't buy then, we would never be able to afford anything ever. And she was actually voicing a fear that I had, but somehow my faith kicked in and I responded, "If God wants us to have a house, He will give it to us at the location that we want, and at the price we can afford." True enough, we found this house in the place we've dreamed of living at a price that we would consider miraculous for the area. Who says God doesn't grant us our dreams if we allow Him to work on it?

Please pray for a smooth and speedy closing. :)

One To Call Our Own

We have decided to bite the bullet and find a home of our own. After years of waiting, it's finally a buyer's market and we're jumping into the fray. It will be a tedious and tough month, but totally worth it -- or so I'm told.

Here's to a couple of years of eating only Ramen, wearing old and worn-out clothes, and staying at home during long weekends, holidays and vacations.

To our dear family and friends, we're afraid that you won't get your usual gifts this year and next. Oh, and if you still do think of giving us a gift for our birthdays and Christmas, please consider a Home Depot or Lowe's gift card. :)

We covet your prayers!

Foolish Advice

I know of this young, twenty-something girl who's having an affair with a married man. The man, supposedly going through a rough patch in his marriage and is 'temporarily' separated, has sought solace in the arms of this naive, young virgin. Of course, she only knows what he's told her as they see each other in secret - and since they have no mutual friends to verify anything he's said, she's taken his word as gospel.

She considers herself bound to him just because she lost "it" to him. I basically told her that falling for the wrong guy is not that uncommon because it's something from which we can glean great lessons and move on, and that she deserves a man who can commit himself fully only to her. As expected, it was not received too well. Another person egged her on by saying that we all make mistakes and learn from them - but that she's young only once and should to live it up and enjoy.

The affair itself did not shock me. We are all human and do make mistakes in different ways, but that advice did. How can someone give that kind of counsel? Live it up and enjoy? Enjoy...for how long? What and how much will one do for momentary enjoyment? Broken families, wrecked homes, unplanned pregnancy, hurt children growing up with philandering parents who continue the cycle and do it to their own spouse and children, etc.? Is all that worth someone's temporary pleasure?

It sometimes takes one foolish choice to trigger events and set our lives to a certain path, as well as affect others' irrevocably.

No matter how crazy our lives and choices become, deep down in our guts, we know what's right. I have no problems with foolish acts. After all, we all have our share of them. I do, however, have a problem with foolish advice.

Out of the Mouth of Babes

Dannyboy

While I was talking to my sister-in-law on the phone a few hours ago, Danny, her 3-year-old son (our godson) went to the bathroom by himself to pee. After she hung up with me, she went to the bathroom to check on him.

"Did you do peepee in the toilet?" she asked.

"Yes, Mommy!" He answered.

My sister-in-law responds, "Bravoooooooo, Danny! You are such a good boy!"

He then proudly adds, "Mommy, I did peepee in the toilet, and poopoo on the floor, then I took it from the floor, I put in the toilet and I flushed -- ALL BY MYSELF!"

ROFL!

"This house is clean."

No, we didn't hire an exorcist to get rid of a poltergeist. We hired someone to scrub our place clean, down to the hard-to-reach corners.

Hubby and I have been working late a lot recently, so we haven't had the energy to pick up the broom and scrubbing pad to clean thoroughly during the weekends. But even on a good day with our best efforts, our work cannot compare to that of a professional. To an allergy-sufferer like me, not having to deal with dusting gives me some assurance that I'm going to be holding off those histamine-ridden episodes for a bit.

It is an awesome feeling to see our hardwood floors, fixtures and appliances gleam like new. Others treat themselves to a day in the spa. This is my spa day, seeing my place sparkle without having to be the one to do it.

Where Were You?

I was quietly sitting at my desk trying to start the day when I heard the news. I was working for a design firm west of Boston, and our office was already bustling with activity.

"A second plane had crashed into the World Trade Center," someone exclaimed. That was the point when we knew for sure that the first one was no accident. One or two people had casually mentioned the first plane that plowed into the World Trade Center but everyone thought it was a freak accident and continued working. A big television appeared out of nowhere and was placed in the middle of the office. Everyone left their cubicles and fixed their eyes on the biggest tragedy to unfold on American soil in a long time. After watching replay upon replay of the Twin Towers crumbling, everyone walked back like zombies to their cubicle - but no one could work. Everyone just surfed the internet - hungry for more news.

My phone rang. I answered to the anxious voice of my Mom, calling my office for the very first time. She had heard that the two of the planes used by the terrorists had come from Boston, so she was making sure that I was safely in my office and not traveling somewhere. Her relief was palpable as I assured her that I was okay. She hung up comforted, but still shocked at the enormity of what was happening in the world that day.

That was where I was on this day, five years ago.

Have a good laugh!

I saw this at my friend, Chari's blog. My vanity could not resist it so I decided to try it out. According to the site's face recognition software, these are the celebrities I resemble. Riiiiiight....


I hope they don't use this in crime prevention. They're way off! If I really resembled these people, I would be making the big bucks, too.

Indecent Proposal

The little boy and I waited at the security office of this mall. I didn't want to leave him alone with a couple of security guards, not with the horror stories I have heard of grown men abusing little boys and girls. I tried to comfort him as he whimpered, assuring him that his parents were on their way.

I had found him while shopping at the mall. He was probably about three years old, wandering around by himself, crying. I sat on my haunches to meet his gaze and asked him if he was looking for Mommy and Daddy. He nodded while crying loudly. I gave him my hand and told him that I was going to help him find Mommy and Daddy. So he willingly took it and continued crying as I led him to the security office of the mall.

Finally, the parents arrived. Both Mom and Dad were ecstatic to find their boy and thanked me profusely. I said I was glad to be of help, exchanged business cards and said goodbye.

I didn't give it a second thought until my pager started beeping later that evening. The message was from the father thanking me again for finding his boy earlier, and reminding me that if there was anything they could do for me, to not hesitate to ask.

I get another message even later in the night. This time, the message said that he couldn't stop thinking of me, asking if he could please see me again and to please call him. Here was this man, whose child I found, and wife I had met along with him, asking me to basically start an affair. I ignored the message and the others that followed the next several days after that.

This happened years ago when I was still living in Manila. It came to mind because I had been having a discussion with an old friend about indecent proposals. A young woman had struck up a conversation with him while he was having dinner alone at a restaurant. When he told her he was married, she flippantly said that she didn't care. She did not think twice about flirting with a married man many years older than she was, because she fancied him. My friend, whose wife had an affair not long ago and has been practically ignoring him since, was understandably flattered. He felt the affirmation and appreciation that his wife hasn't given him in a long time. Despite this, he did not pursue it, although it did make him pause and think.

His vulnerability made me think of my own vulnerability when it happened to me years ago. I was going through a very surreal and rough end to my first marriage. The only difference was I was lucky that that flagrant and indecent proposal I got was from a man that was not my type at all. His came from a young, attractive woman at the peak of his marital problems.

From what I have experienced, heard and read, there seems to be a lot more 'indecent proposals' going around these days. I don't think anyone will be completely shielded from temptation, especially since there are people who are only too willing to do the tempting.

However, that doesn't mean we can't fortify our relationships against it. Have you hugged and told your spouse "I love you" today? That's probably the first step.

C A N

"I can't."

I don't think I can ever say this lightly again after seeing this video.




Rick and Dick Hoyt have shown all of us that our physical limitations and setbacks do not have to hold us back. It can, in fact, lead us into things that are much greater than what this superficial world values.

Trying to patiently wait

I think the toughest thing about pursuing something is not the steps that you have to go through in trying to attain it, it is that period of waiting for the result. I am in that very character-forming time right now. :)

I have told myself and countless others during times like these in the past, that God is not so much concerned with the results, as much as He is concerned with how we deal with our process. So day by day, I just try to live and do everything with as much integrity as I can muster and know that whatever happens, it will always work out for the best for me.

Now, the best does not necessarily mean that I get whatever I'm going after. In the past, I have come very close and have had doors close on me at the last possible moment. And for a long time after that, I would be disappointed, questioning why it did not go the way I wanted. That is, until something even better happens which would not have, had I gotten what I originally wanted.

If I don't get this particular pursuit, I know I will be disappointed. But I know that disappointment won't be for very long, because now I am also learning to watch in patient anticipation as to how God will turn things out for even better than what I originally wanted. I have seen Him do it before. I know He will do it again. It's going to be fascinating to watch.

In the meantime, I wait.

Birthweek

It's been a while now since I started celebrating my birth week instead of my birthday. It's because it's just hard to cram all the great things I want to do in one whole day, especially if my birthday lands on a weekday.

Greetings and Lunches
It has been an awesome week, really - more than I had hoped for or expected. Hubby surprised me with a beautiful and humungous arrangement of roses at work that everyone raved about and won him the admiration of my co-workers. He also prepared a wine and lobster dinner for me at home. All throughout that day and the whole week, I received warm greetings from everyone I loved via hugs, kisses, phone calls, emails and cards and got taken out to more birthday lunches than my weight really needed.

Dixied Chick
That Saturday, we were able to get suite tickets to the Dixie Chicks concert at the TD Banknorth Garden. The whole place was packed but we had a suite practically to ourselves. It had its own private bathroom, a living area, a bar and a buffet table. A glass sliding door opened to a small balcony with two rows of seats to view the show. We ordered some food and drinks and our friend, who worked as a restaurant manager in the facility, brought us a bottle of Pinot Grigio. When our original invitees could not make it, we invited a couple of elderly ladies, who were avid Dixie Chicks fans and had nosebleed tickets, to join us in the suite. Their gratitude and enthusiasm really made our night! It was a great show. I have always liked the Dixie Chicks because I love trio harmonies, but this show has made a ‘dixied chick’ out of me. Watching them live was really exhilarating!

Cake Fight
On Sunday, we had a co-celebration barbecue with my SIL whose birthday was a few days after mine. I got to do what I had been itching to do all week – and that is smother and mash the birthday cake on the faces Hubby’s four nephews and nieces right after they sang the birthday song. I had to run after them a little bit, but got them really good. In several minutes, the four of them were laughing through their frosting-covered faces. Of course, they exacted their revenge rather quickly and I found myself with cake on my face and whatever part of my body they could reach.

Let’s Go Red Sox!
On the last day of my week-long celebration, I headed towards Yawkey Way to the historic Fenway Park and watched my first live Major League Baseball game, along with Hubby, BIL and his son. It was a game between the Boston Red Sox and the Cleveland Indians. We had awesome box seats that were as close as we could get to the home plate without being in the field. Needless to say, our seats offered us the best view of the game. It was great to finally experience something that I had only seen on TV and in the movies before – American baseball tradition, complete with the vendors and their overpriced Fenway franks and drinks, the die-hard Red Sox fans cheering and booing, the baseball players spitting, grabbing their crotch and playing great baseball. To top off the experience, the home team won!

It was truly a fun-packed birthday week. We couldn’t have planned it better than how God made it all unfold. I have Him to thank, along with Hubby and my loved ones, for making it extra special.

Showing Gratitude

Whether we admit it or not, the people that we most take for granted are usually the ones who have given to us freely and without measure.

It has weighed on my mind lately because I keep seeing individuals who are in need of help not even ask nicely, but instead expect it - and if they don't receive it, actually demand it. People have extended their hands to them all their lives that they now think of it as a right, and no longer a privilege. They feel a false sense of entitlement, simply because people who love them have met their needs without them having to ask. They even forget to show appreciation after they get what they want.

Consequently, no matter how much they are loved, that kind of behavior never fails to cause that well of love and generosity to start to go dry. There's no faster "drying agent" than ingratitude.

We are all guilty of ingratitude. From the people who try to live solely on welfare or government assistance, to the help given by our extended and immediate family, and finally to the guidance, provision and love of God.

Sadly, for most of us, the only time the cold reality of our callousness and ingratitude will only dawn on us, is when we lose that supply of love and generosity that we have so depended on but sorely taken for granted. That is the only time we realize how much our loved ones and others have enriched our lives.

So before that happens, we should practice some humility and show our appreciation. Try to remember the very basic lesson that hopefully all our parents have taught us. Say "please" when we need or want something that we cannot do for ourselves, and "thank you" when it is given or offered to us. Two simple but powerful phrases. Be reminded that people owe us nothing. Whatever they do for us, they do out of kindness and sometimes just unconditional love. Let us try not to abuse it, but to respect and reciprocate it.

Pissing Matches

I've come across a few people who love to have pissing matches. A fierce need (a.k.a. insecurity) to display their supposed mental prowess probably drives them to always show off their acquired knowledge. They will argue points that you're not arguing with them about, and they will play devil's advocate to any issue discussed disregarding whatever personal experience you have had about the subject matter. They want to convince you that your experience was somehow faulty, or just plain imagined - because really now, they know better.

I get tired listening to such people. That's why when I hear them starting again, I shift my attention to something or someone else and leave them to the other conversation participants (a.k.a victims). I consider them conversation perverts - those who like people to watch or listen to them while they do mental and verbal masturbation as the pleasure in the discourse is theirs alone.

Pissing matches really solve nothing because in the end - no matter who pisses higher, all you have is a whole lot of piss.

Can you tell that I am royally pissed? :)

Waxing Nostalgic

I was in the kitchen cooking when I heard this very familiar song blaring from Hubby's hobby room. Memories came unbidden and brought me back to the younger, crazier, carefree days of my life. He apparently stumbled upon it online while researching on Tagalog. It just so happened that it was a cut from one of Gary Valenciano's concerts of years ago when I toured with him as back up and guest singer. I started singing, dancing - basically going wild. Hubby was quite entertained, but still a bit puzzled. In between verses of singing, I managed to spit out that I was part of that live recording of the concert, that at some points, one of the voices that he was hearing was mine.

Before he could express more of his surprise, I went to look for the CDs of the concert. Now, here I am in my room with that concert blasting along with the recorded screaming of the Araneta Coliseum audience in my ear, recapturing the goosebumps that would envelop us onstage before when 30,000 people started screaming, dancing and stomping their feet during a concert.

It seems like another person's life when I look back. Now I'm here, in a totally different world, working in banking and finance, devoid of anything that colored my life back then. It's during times like this when I get quite homesick and miss everything I had going on back then in Manila.

I'm not ungrateful for what I have right now, not at all. God has given me a chance to explore other worlds and allowed me to flourish in it. Here, I have had the chance to discover and hone talents other than those in the arts. I have found another kind of satisfaction in what I do now, albeit different.

So here I sit, hoping that somewhere in this nostalgic moment, I find some inspiration to write two promised articles. But the way my mind gone off into memory lane, I don't think I'll have much progress tonight.

Boy, Girl, Bakla, Tomboy

Check out Pride & Prejudice, PINOYexpats’ latest edition tackling homosexuality. Tin did an excellent job in leading this issue. Meet our Pinoy brothers and sisters who share their deepest feelings about their orientation and lifestyle. Don’t miss this very poignant issue.

Le Tour Cliché - Conclusion

Chugging through the Rhine Riverbanks

As we were sitting on our last day of train travel in Europe, I was disappointed to learn that the train we were taking back to Cologne en route to Belgium was not the express one. However, the disappointment slowly dissipated as we chugged through small, sleepy towns along the Rhine River. On the opposite bank, we saw different quaint little hamlets with their respective church steeples, and the occasional old castle overlooking it. At one point, a train was going through one on the other side, in the opposite direction we were going. It brought to mind those little play towns sold during Christmas as holiday scenes that come with lights, which are set up as part of the Christmas décor. As I took in the very scenic ride, I couldn’t help but look back at the last two weeks that we had just spent. Traveling may have cost us a fair bundle, but one just can’t put a price on that kind of time spent with a loved one. I know I almost sound like a MasterCard commercial, but there’s really nothing like shared experiences to further build friendships and relationships.

Wanderlust

Our last day was supposed to have been spent resting and recouping from the hectic trip. Our wanderlust though, wouldn’t let us sit still. We found ourselves walking to the station to buy a ticket to the Belgian coast of Ostend. There, we had a relaxing time by the seaside, walking, people-watching, eating and drinking in the sights. We treated ourselves to a mouth-watering lunch by the shore, capped with Kassis and of course, to a last serving of authentic Belgian waffles for dessert. I expected a normal size waffle but I was served one the size of a huge plate. When I expressed surprise at the size, the woman happily chimed, “Big waffle for a big woman!” LOL! She meant well I think, but it made me think even more that my pant-ripping episode was indeed due to the increasing size of my derrière. Then and there, I resolved to go on a diet the minute I set foot in the US. What a highlight that was of my last touring day in Europe!

Au revoir

The next day, we bid Europe goodbye as our Belgian host, Marina dropped us off at the airport. I was relieved that we made it through 15 days of traveling without any incidents. As it happened, not long after we arrived at the airport, Hubby looked at me with his baby browns and nervously whispered, “Er…Hunni, I don’t have my wallet.” Our minds were awhirl with all the phone calls we needed to make and things we needed to do if the wallet was lost or stolen. We simmered for an hour before a call to Marina was made as she was only getting home and could only confirm then that Hubby indeed left his wallet under the bed. It didn’t end there. Our flight to London was delayed so when we arrived in Heathrow, we literally ran from one gate to another to make our connection to Boston. There went my plans to go shopping at Heathrow’s Duty Free shop! And despite reassurances from the ground stewardess that our luggage made the plane as we did, it arrived two nights later after we did.

A less than ideal ending to an almost perfect vacation, but we really couldn't complain. Better that those things happened then than at any other time during our trip. Besides, these little incidents seem to just add character to any event in life when one's looking back. This vacation has given us more beautiful and funny memories to tuck away in our hearts.

Le Tour Cliché - Part 5

PINOYexpats Meet

Early the next day, J dropped us off at the downtown Starbucks for breakfast. I could hardly contain my anticipation in meeting Ruth and Raquel. Meeting two of the brilliant thirteen (naks, syempre kasali kami ni Melissa doon! Hehe!) that make up PINOYexpats was something I was really looking forward to. It was like seeing old friends. These are the people that I probably have emailed to the most in the last couple of years because of all the brainstorming email sessions that we have before each issue. So there we were eating all the fatty Starbucks pastries and chatting on, sometimes reverting to Tagalog, as Hubby patiently listened and looked on. The conversation did not disappoint, and I didn’t really expect it to. After all, how can people who are such fun to read be bad conversationalists? :) Too bad, the other nine members couldn't join us!

Ruth, moi, Melissa and Raquel

After our cups of Joe and sweets my body could have done without, Raquel and Ruth had to run off to their respective commitments. After making reservations for the Thalys for our departure the next day, Melissa took us on a walking day tour of downtown Frankfurt. We stopped for a taste of the local frankfurter and some beer in the square called Römerberg, where Ruth met up with us again after class. It’s a beautiful, historic square that was leveled during bomb raids in 1944, but was reconstructed after the war.

As we tried to figure out the best way to go around the city, Ruth had the great idea of taking the Ebbelwei Express (Apple Wine Express) for a tour. They are these festive and colorful trolleys that serve the city’s famous Apple Wine or cider, the city’s drink of preference and some pretzels while they take you to all the sights in Frankfurt. It was a really fun way of seeing the city without wearing out your feet. We couldn’t have had a more enthusiastic tour guide who, in my book, is the German with the most winning and endearing smile. We asked him to take our photo and he actually asked the driver to stop so that his hands wouldn’t shake. The driver happily obliged. :) In preparation for the World Cup which was to open the next day, there were humongous television screens scattered all over the place, even in the middle of the river. There was just no way anyone in this city could miss the game unless they lived under a rock.

Our feet put on some more mileage after getting off the Ebbelwei Express going around the shopping districts and the Alter Oper, Frankfurt’s beautiful old opera house. I wasn’t surprised when our feet (or was it our stomachs?) led us to the local Häagen-Dazs to cool off kuno with different delectable ice cream concoctions. Our day of sight seeing might have ended there but our day of eating didn’t.

In the evening, Melissa and J took us to the apple wine tavern, Adolf Wagner for a truly German dining experience. Pinoys that we are, Melissa and I ordered their version of the crispy pata to share, the Haxe. When she ordered one for us to share, I gave her this look that clearly said I wanted my own piece. She laughed and assured me it was big enough. I’m glad we shared because I was waddling like my pregnant friend when we left the place. All my misgivings about eating after the *pant-ripping episode I had the previous day, which I conveniently forgot to mention in the previous entry, were tossed aside. Ang sarap sobra! It was a great way to cap our very memorable German experience.

Early the next morning, we tearfully said our goodbyes and told Melissa and J that it shouldn’t be another eight years before we saw each other again, and that it was our turn to host them in Boston. O ano, Melissa, kelan?

*After our day in Heidelberg, I carried JP up the stairs into the flat. As I bent to set him down, we all heard a loud rrrrrrrrIIIIppp! Of course, everyone started laughing as I felt a cool breeze envelop my rump area. My lime green undies showed under the 5-inch rip of one of my favorite casual pants. It's a good thing that it happened when we got home. Obviously, all the romping, tumbling and falling I did in Heidelberg stressed my worn out non-stretch pants. The non-stop eating didn't help either. Or maybe it's the other way around. Whatever it was, my butt was obviously more than my pants could handle at that moment. Melissa and J now have a souvenir of our stay with them.

Le Tour Cliché - Part 4

A Friend in Frankfurt

I squatted down near the phone at the Frankfurt Main train station rummaging through my carry-on to look for her number. I glance up momentarily and right into my sightline waddled this extremely familiar woman with her husband and child in tow.

A very loud “HOY!” escaped from my lips before I could stop it. The only thing that prevented me from running to her were my bags. Melissa and J had not changed one bit. Maganda at guapo pa rin! They were as I remembered them years back, except for the fact that she had a round belly and that they had their little retazo, JP who I was setting eyes on for the first time. He proved to be even cuter than the photos I had seen.

J prepared a delicious welcome dinner for us, as he contributed here and there to the endless chatter and laughter as Melissa and I caught up. Hubby who was busy getting to know JP as they played with his castle and knights, tuned in and out depending on what he understood as Melissa and I switched back and forth from English to Tagalog.

After the sumptuous dinner, we headed off to the World Cup Sky Arena, a light and sound show in downtown Frankfurt that started at 11:00 pm. It was quite an experience as they closed off some roads and shut off all the lights and illuminated all the skyscrapers by projecting on them a 25-minute retrospective of the FIFA World Cup. We were among thousands from all over the world that watched and sometimes cheered as the faces of their favorite players appeared on one skyscraper or another. All in all, it would have been an even greater experience had there been some more audience participation. I could not believe that, with the amount of people there from different countries, there was no wild cheering, jeering, binge drinking or dancing. Amazingly, everyone was just a little too well behaved and polite for an event like that. I almost expected to hear an echo when I let out a little whoop when they showed Pelé, at one point. Just the same, we enjoyed the experience. I guess as fanatic as soccer fans are, they only really let loose during an actual game.

Heidelberg Hike

The next day, J and Melissa took the time off to drive us to the old town of Heidelberg, a charming city that sits along the Neckar River. We decided to sample the local cuisine before walking around. After a nice and hearty meal of sausages and schnitzel, we, along with Melissa, almost 7 months pregnant, gamely hiked the 300 or so steps up to the Heidelberg Castle. The Castle is definitely worth the climb, not to mention the spectacular view it offers of the city. We ended our little tour with a stop at a tearoom where Melissa and I gorged on four different pastries “to refuel.” :)

As Pinoys are wont to be, we discussed dinner as we were stuffing our faces with cakes! We decided we were going to go Pinoy for dinner. So the rest of the early evening was spent getting the ingredients from the Asian store. At dinnertime, two meals were prepared. J and M had chicken teriyaki and Melissa, Rhoda (Melissa’s sister) and I had Sinigang. JP had a sampling of both, a true mix of his Asian mother and his European father.

Ipagpapatuloy...