Am I Unpatriotic?

When I was still living in Manila, I always wondered why Filipinos would want to live anywhere else. It puzzled me why some of my friends chose to migrate. They had a good life and most of them had carved out a niche for themselves in their respective fields. I always used to say, "Why be a second-class citizen somewhere else when you're first-rate here?" I had high hopes for the Philippines. The economy seemed to be improving despite the prevalence still of graft and corruption, a legacy of the Marcos era. However, along with a growing number of people who continually made a stand, I refused to pay bribes to get around red tape and would do things the legal (and difficult) way willingly, if need be, to try and effect some change. I thought it was just a matter of time before it caught on and things improved.

Then an action star got elected President. Picture Vin Diesel winning the Presidency, only older, fatter, ugly and way less smarter. Not only that, he was corrupt, through and through. The way he ran his mayorship of a small town and his Vice Presidency proved that. When he announced that he was vying for the top seat in the land, I swore to myself that if he won, I would leave the country. I figured if someone like that won, then it made my countrymen no more than a bunch of star-struck groupies or worse, they were paid to vote or support him. Nobody in their right mind could actually believe that an action star, who didn't finish high school, can continue the decade of growth in a country that was just rising out of a 21-year plunder by a dictator and his muse.

I think God must have heard my prayer, because the month of that man's swearing in as President, I got an offer to work in the United States. I accepted. I was so disillusioned and disgruntled. I figured I'd give myself a break and try out living somewhere else, just to get away from the crazy situation that is my country. I knew it would take time for me to adjust since I was going to be completely on my own -- no family, friends, no established ties, no network, and no household help! To my surpise, I fared well. Despite missing the artistic side of my existence back home, I was glad to have a set schedule and loved being at home by nightfall. Even doing house chores which I dreaded, wasn't that bad. I found myself really relaxed despite what everyone says, that life in Manila is a picnic compared to the hard, cold life in the US. I asked myself why. I came to the conclusion that I had lived with pollution, horrendous traffic, crazy drivers, corrupt government employees and officials, etc. for so long that I had schooled myself to accept it as part of life. Living away from it though, made me realize how deeply it really bothered and burdened me.

I have now been away for six years. I believe the election of Mr. Action Star sent the Philippines on a downward spiral it hasn't recovered from since. Hearing and reading about the present Philippine political climate and all the bickering and accusations flying around, the gambling lords, the pollution, the possible economic implosion and the crime rate in the urban areas, I don't think I can handle living there again. There are so many things that I love and miss about my beautiful country. It's just so sad that it's run so badly by politicians who mostly think of self-gain. My dreams of retiring there doesn't seem to be an option. It is my homeland but unless things change drastically, I really doubt it will ever be my home again.

Morbid or Just Realistic?

What would you do if you found out you had but a short time left to live?

Hubby and I had this discussion last night. Someone dear to us continues his 15-year battle with cancer and while we rejoice over the gift of one more day each day he wins his battle, it is something that has put our own mortality in the forefront of our minds.

It occurred to me though that while his enemy is known, ours might not be revealed to us until that time comes. There’s the undiagnosed ailment, the drunk driver, the murderer, the freak accident, the natural disaster, etc. Any of these could cut our lives short. If we knew that destiny has set our end date for tomorrow, would we be happy with the things that we have done? How have we led our lives? Would we feel that we have properly spent the time that was given to us? How negatively or positively did we impact the lives of the people around us? If people recall our last utterance to them, would they say it was edifying or hurtful? Have we inspired people to live better lives or do we serve as a warning? What legacy would we leave behind? And I don’t mean in terms of money or property. That’s probably because I have neither! :)

I decided early on in my walk that I would cease every opportunity to really try and have a positive impact, even on PMS days. Whether it’s for family, friend or those who consider me their foe. I guess for each of us, there would be a share of people who would think you led a fruitful life, and a group that would think otherwise. Indeed, no one is perfect. I do hope that somehow, the ayesayers would outweigh the naysayers. But in the end, I really will only care about one. God… that He says “Aye!”

C'est Kitsch!!!

Several years back, when I would see American movies depicting people commuting to work, I wondered why people wore sneakers with their business suits. I found it totally kitschy! I decided that I would never be found doing that. But of course back then, I was working in Manila, a city where everyone drove or were 'driven' to their destination no matter how near, and people hardly walked.

Fast-forward to the new millennium --- I find myself working in Boston, a city where everyone walks and takes the train, unless you're willing to sit in traffic going into town in the morning and shell out about US$400/month for parking. Not a lot do that, as you can imagine. Since my home and work are all within walking distance of the train, I happily take it. No hassle, no traffic, no parking fees! And what do you see me wear to and from work?

***Drum Roll***

Business attire and yes, sneakers! It not only is more comfortable, it is more practical given the harsh New England winters. The first couple of years, I tried wearing my nice work shoes through winter. I found out quickly how the salt (that they spread on the road to keep from freezing) and the snow ate on my nice leather pair of shoes. Not only that, leather soles and ice is almost a surefire way of making yourself land on your butt when you're walking on icy pathways. Then, you have the cobblestoned streets and sidewalks of this old city which can really wear your soles and heels out. Moreover, pointy heels have an uncanny way of inserting itself into the small cracks in between the stones and make you suddenly do a graceful little dance.

So if you're the type who likes to invest in a nice pair of shoes for work and making it last as long as you can, then you'd have to get something else that's flat-soled, soft and comfortable to wear on your commute to and from work. It's the only way to go!

As Hubby would always jokingly say, "So what have we learned if nothing at all?" That we don't judge people unless you've been in their shoes!

:)