Physician, Heal Thyself

It is funny that just a couple of weeks after I wrote a blog about hate, I came across an article featuring a psychiatrist and his opinions about current events in Manila. He was an object of hatred of mine for sometime. It was almost like God reminding me to test my heart whether I still harbored those ill feelings. And yes, I felt a shadow of my old rage at first but it slowly dissipated as I thought of how God used those years to patiently and lovingly work things out in my heart and make me who I am today.

I still shook my head at the very sad fact that this person ,who crossed professional boundaries and helped destroy my family, is now sought after for his "valued" counsel by the media. I once considered legal action against this man to strip him of his license to prevent him from hurting any more people. I had evidence, too - records I kept of goings-on, witnesses who were ready to corroborate and tell the truth, his own fellow counselors who had sanctioned him, notes he had written encouraging someone to harrass other people through text message and phone calls, etc. A friend of mine still holds it all in safekeeping back home. However, with the legal system being the way it is in the Philippines, I felt it would prevent me from moving on. It would be costly, too and it's not like he had anything then that I could sue him for. He was nobody and had nothing. I had wasted years being manipulated and hurt by this person that to go through a legal process that would take more years would just prolong a very unpleasant episode in my life. I felt that what remained of my life was just too precious to waste. Lucky him. :)

My hope is that all those years between our incident and this present time, he has sought healing for himself and his own deep psychological problems - that he has found his own answers which is what, in fact, drove him to psychiatry according to him. I hope that all that took place before he became visible in the media because if not, then he has a loftier place to fall from when his own problem rears its ugly head again.

In my life, God had turned what someone meant for evil, their own very selfish gain, into good. That's the reason why when the grudge comes unbidden into my heart, I find it hard to hold on to for more than several minutes. I quickly realize that if God has forgiven my own sins and restored me, how dare I begrudge someone else that? I like where I am right now!

God deals with us all in His perfect time so I leave that in His hands. In the meantime, I'll work with my God for all my own issues.