Once, there was a guy who liked me. Now, I never took this guy's interest seriously because he never really said anything apart from the little hints he dropped. Besides, another girl whom I considered a friend, was in love with him. In my mind, they were meant for each other. I had no doubt that they would, one day, end up together.
In the meantime, this girl and I got very close. I opened up to her about everything that was going on in my life, from family to man trouble - all of it! As the wheels of my life turned, I was ecstatic to know that hers finally turned out exactly as she had wished. After years of waiting, she finally married this guy - the man of her dreams. I won't say how, but I was very proud to have a very small hand in the turn of events in their lives ending up together.
Well, life went on and we all got busy. The calls eased up and we no longer hung out. I charged it to our tight schedules and lives taking on different paths. One day, I accidentally bumped into their little family and I was thrilled to see them! I was puzzled though to receive a warm but uncomfortable greeting from the guy, and truly bewildered to receive a pretty cold acknowledgment from my once close friend. My desire to catch-up waned and I politely made an exit.
The incident bothered me so I voiced my concern to another friend. It was very gently revealed to me that I have become anathema to my formerly close friend, and that I am the one that no one speaks of in her presence. Apparently, the mere mention of my name actually tips the balance of her world. I was aghast at the revelation as I don't think I ever did anything to her that should warrant such a reaction. It hurt me to find out that I was such an object of repulsion to one I really cared about.
I am gullible. I trust people easily and give them my friendship when they offer me theirs. I have no problem reciprocating when someone shows me warmth and honesty. Sadly, Ive learned that not all offers of friendship are sincere. I felt truly close to her, but now I can only surmise that she kept me close - not as her friend, but as her rival.
"Keep your friends close, but your enemies closer."
She is not and never was my enemy, but I guess she considered me hers.
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7 comments:
Unfortunately, you can't control how people remember you. It's obvious that her jealousy has overshadowed the great memories that you remember of your friendship. Of course, it might also be that the way he spoke about you has made her insecure about your effect on him and therefore her avoidance of you is kind of a protective instinct. But yes, it's a bid sad when that kind of thing happens.
Thanks, Kat. I just thought that what we had before was a little bit stronger that she would either at least treat me decently to my face for old times' sake, if not let me know how she really feels to explain her actions. I understand the protective instinct that you mentioned, but I also heard that she would roll her eyes or make a face when I was mentioned by ANYONE. Oh, well.
I'm like you, reveling in friendships easily. I am not gonna change my view of the world. If they are my friend to use me, manipulate me (and good luck with that), that is their conscience's to bear.
Well ... she got to keep the guy but she lost you. Wonder how she's doing now ... Hmmmm ... I know you're just doing great! Luv ya!
Tin - true, we should never let incidents like that change the way we are. It's difficult not to be cynical sometimes.
CJ - thank you! It's meeting people such as yourself that help keep me from being cynical. :) Oh, and I love your blog. I've bookmarked it. :) I will try your recipes for sure!
Amoski - I don't think she cared that much for me in the first place, as long as she ended up with her guy. That's fine, I hope she is living her dream life. And that one day, she'll find it in her heart to realize that I was sincere in my friendship with her and she would get over whatever feeling she has for me. I wonder how she's doing too!
hi pia -- that's such a shame though. i'm such a gullible person too. i trust too much and i tend to view any offers of friendship as sincere. i'm so sorry you were betrayed this way.
Christine - Yeah, me too. I should just focus on the friendships I've had that are sincere. :) Thanks for the empathy.
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