My father once told me, “Being always right is not as important as being wise.” He said that in my life, I will find myself in situations where I know I am right, but that I should have the wisdom to know when to assert the fact. “Having the last say does not necessarily mean that you’ve won the argument,” was another thing. Both statements stuck with me like glue. I am learning, through years of falling flat on my face and putting my foot in my mouth, to choose my battles -- to know when and in what circumstance to put in my $0.02 worth, and when I am just wasting my breath.
I have come across so many seemingly highly intelligent people that just do not have the wisdom and the sensitivity to rein in their tongues. It makes me think that their self-esteem is tied in to the number of words that they utter, whether they believe in what they’re saying or not. The haughty attitude and tone that accompany their statements just add to the aural delight. I don’t think they clue in to the fact that the more they voice out their thoughts in that manner, the less it means to anyone else who has to hear it all the time. What’s sad is, by the time they’re actually saying something that is worth some thought, people have probably stopped listening.
Any statement that comes from such people, I am learning to just shrug off. Venting in any way makes them happy, ignoring them keeps me happy. We’re all happy! After all, that’s what’s important, n’est-ce pas?
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4 comments:
Oh this is so true -- I really believe it. My husband and I don't fight much (a couple times a year or so), but even then we may quibble. And sometimes, I KNOW I'm right about something and once we hit that point where it's going to be a fight, I pause and think. I ask myself: is it more important at this very moment to be right, or for us to be all right? If the answer is the latter, then I let it go. And always, always -- he does the same, too. :)
You're right. I've seen hubby practice this too, more so than me, more than I realize. I've observed him just "let things go" for the sake of his relationships with people, even when he's right. His self-esteem is amazing. I'm still learning.
i saw your comment in auey's article and clicked on your link. your blog entry just hit the spot right now. i'm now in a spot with my mother-in-law who was telling me something while i was putting the baby to sleep. i was irritated that she couldn't wait since it wasn't that important anyway and failed to notice that my irritation showed on my face. hubby says i should talk to her. and i've been rehearsing on what i'd say to explain my side because i feel i've been patient and quiet for so long. now i realize that i don't have to say much. better to get the relationship on a better foot than sacrifice it for my hubby and children's sakes. thank you for your thoughts
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