On Being Just

"Never look for righteousness in the other person, but never cease to be righteous yourself. We are always looking for justice, yet the essence of the teaching of the Sermon on the Mount is— Never look for justice, but never cease to give it."

-Oswald Chambers, My Utmost For His Highest

That was the last sentence in my reading during one of my "quiet moments" several weeks ago. I needed that to inspire me because a lot of times, I find myself disheartened when people do not act in the way that is fair. Being my optimistic and naive self, I believe that everyone has an inner sense of fairness. But I have been disappointed to find out otherwise in many of my day-to-day dealings.

In a sermon I heard long ago, the Pastor said that the main causes of many a conflict are failed expectations and blocked goals. When someone acts contrary to how you expect them to act, or is an obstacle toward a goal that you have set, we may feel anger and disappointment. And that can lead to deep, unspoken resentments and conflicts, if there is no open communication.

It resounds in me because it really upsets me when people expect others to play fair, even if they themselves are not willing to. I always remind myself that each person is different, shaped by the values that we were taught and the kind of discipline, or non-discipline, we received. So people will not always act or react in the way we expect them to. I am not guiltless in this for I am ahead of the game when it comes to acting and reacting in many selfish ways. Just ask my husband! :) Thank God, I have him to remind me in a loving way when I do. He never says much. He just gently touches me and whispers, "Relax." He manages to deflate the pride and selfish indignation I feel by that simple action. It is great that he's there to remind me that even if everyone else is acting foolish, I have the choice to not act in the same way.