Pieces of Me

While growing up, my brothers called me gaya-gaya (copycat) as a kid. It was because I copied things that everyone did and emulated anything that I saw in others that made an impression on me. Unconsciously, I watched how people acted, listened to what they said and observed how others reacted to it. I took mental notes, instinctively retrieved them and acted accordingly when I found myself in the same situation. I am guessing this was borne from the thought in my mind that I, just by myself, was not that interesting or beautiful enough so I thought being someone else in every situation was a better choice.

Thankfully, my role models improved as the years progressed. I learned more and more to sift and classify who served as an example and who served as a warning. I was surrounded by a very diverse group of people from whom I constantly would learn every day in every way - from church, performing arts, school and work. They taught me what was right or wrong indirectly, when I was being sensitive to the lesson, or directly when I was being dense or arrogant or stubborn.

That's why it grates on me when those people who are in the limelight behave badly and later on give the excuse that they are not role models. We all are, whether we like it or not. And the bigger the spotlight, so is the responsibility to use it for good. Most of everything we do falls under those two categories - example or warning. Whether we like it or not, we are role models to the young people that live around us.

A village - that is really what it took to raise me as the African proverb says. Through the years, all these little pieces of the people I admired became a part of me. I consider myself a jigsaw puzzle of everything I've learned from others - just like we all help raise all the children that are there to observe how we live our lives. May the puzzle piece that we contribute always be a good one.

Ham Chili, Anyone?

It snowed from last night to mid-day today. Hubby has just finished shoveling outside and he's drinking a cup of salted hot chocolate as he works on his laptop. The chili is stewing while I sit here in the dining room, munching on some leftover chips dipped in the Chimichurri sauce I made last night. The Chili is an experiment, really. We had so much leftover ham from last weekend's get-together and we were sick of ham sandwiches. I wanted to learn to make chili but I had no ground beef - et voilà, Ham Chili. If it turns out okay, I will write down the recipe and add it to my recipe box.

He did a taste test of the chili and made what I think are positive "mmm-mmm" sounds. The true test is if he'll sit down and eat it. The cold weather will work for me. It's always the perfect time for chili when it's chilly. :)

Say That Again?

If I fight for a country but plunder it later on and plunge most everyone to poverty except my family and friends, I can still be declared a hero and be buried in honor?

I'm all for forgiveness and God is the ultimate judge but what message does this send to our children and future generation?

This dictator sought greatness all his life in whatever means possible, and even in death. He made sure he was well provided for in life and now decades later, he lies in state in a manner that few in our impoverished country can afford as his family demands a hero's burial. It is STILL all about them even after death. I cannot comprehend how this man and his family are totally devoid of humility and repentance. I am not his judge, God is. But, I will not set him up as a role model and bury him in a heroes' cemetery - a place where every single grave should tell ONLY the story of the love of God and country above one's self.

It is troubling that the word "Hero" has been so overused and abused these days. Maybe we have to find another word that can represent it because the standards have gone so utterly low.

Creating Memories

The reactions that we have to a circumstance reveal a lot about what we have inside our hearts. How we choose to deal with it reveals even more. We can choose to listen to the superficial voice that justifies us lashing out in anger, or to the still, small voice that usually tells us things about ourselves that we don't want to hear about.

Whatever action we take creates a memory. It is up to us whether we make it a good one or not - good not just for us but for those that are around us, as well. How well remembered it will be is determined by the action itself, the timing and ocassion, and how it reverberates with all those that we choose to involve.

We can make ourselves feel good for that moment by lashing out, dealing with the rebuke that follows later on, and picking up the pieces of all the hearts we have broken. Or, we may listen to the still, small voice, ask God to help us deal with our issues and lead us to a wiser course of action and save ourselves and others grief.

My memories evoke different emotions. There are those that make me happy, those that make me sad and then those that embarrass me. The first two usually involve actions by me and/or by those around me within a circumstance. The third one though, I put solely on me no matter who instigated it and how justified I feel at that moment. These are the actions and reactions I have had that does not make me proud - situations that I know I could have handled better if I thought beyond myself and how it made the others around me feel.

Remembering those times is what makes me more determined to create better memories for myself in the years to come. The other thing that helps me is remembering what my father always used to tell me. "No matter how right you are, you give up being right when the delivery of your message is wrong."

Human as I am, I am hoping that I have created and will continue to create more memories that will not cause me to go cold and hot in shame and dismay, but wrap me in happiness and warmth as I grow old.

Change We Need

I don't mean it in the way of the now famous slogan of Barack Obama. The change I mean is in the way we covet things.

The culture of instant gratification and obscene materialism is the cause of the situation that we find ourselves in right now. Saving and delayed gratification are time-tested values. We do not have to possess the things we want right at this moment. If we do, then what else is there to look forward to? To not get what we want all the time can be a blessing, so we should count it as such.

Why do people who seem to have it all sometimes end their lives? It's because their ability to gratify almost every desire immediately leaves them with less and less to look forward to. Nothing saps the life out of us more than the loss of anticipation.

I find that the happiest people I've known are not necessarily those that accumulate wealth, but those that accumulate the qualities that build their character. If we do not get something that we want, we should consider it a character-building exercise. Good character brings a more lasting kind of happiness than wealth and material things ever will.

Bleepin' Blizzard!

Leapin' Lizards! We were slammed this weekend with more than a foot of snow. It didn't stop us from going to Maine on Saturday to do some outlet shopping when it was just the flurries. Today, we opted to stay in even though we still had quite a few errands to run. It was coming down as strong as it did last Friday and it still has not let up.

Since we really did not want to venture out and do errands, we just set up the 4-season porch in preparation for the holiday gatherings. The view from the room actually helped get us into the Christmas spirit. We played Christmas tunes while we worked in the room and did chores around the house. We also finally got around to decorating the tree that we got last Friday right before the start of this blizzard. There's finally a sign of the holidays in our home.

Yup, it's beginning to look a lot like Christmas! We pray for a joyous Christmas season for everyone.

Eat Turkey Like A Pig

That's what I did during the Thanksgiving holiday. I ate like a p-i-g. For us, the holiday stretched out for the entire long weekend because we prepared too much food, as usual. Ergo, we spent the weekend trying to finish it all off.

I prepared a 21-lb. turkey for Thanksgiving dinner of 12 people. Sounds just about right if everyone had a pound and a half, right? But who was I kidding? How many people really eat a pound and a half of meat in one sitting? That, aside from the other yummy dishes that were served - among them, carrot & clementine soup, roasted ham, sweet potatoes, green bean casserole, wild rice & crouton stuffing, arroz con gandules, cranberry salad, flan de queso, etc. with Pinot Noir and Reisling to wash it all down. Just thinking about sampling all that is enough to give anyone a heartburn. But the next day, we rallied on. I asked most everyone back for dinner and we again sat and ate with gusto like the first evening. The celebration stretched through the weekend finishing everything off, as well as eating another turkey that my sister-in-law didn't make on Thursday night just because we already had too much food.

Thanksgiving is a pretty new holiday for me as I've only been in the US for about a decade, but it has grown to be my favorite holiday of all. I love its thoughtful and no-frills quality. It's just good food, great company, enjoyable fellowship with family and friends and a reminder to be thankful for every single thing that we have been blessed with in life - the things that really matter.

Just Thankful

These days, I notice that people are complaining less. The usual whiners at work are now mostly silent...pensive. I guess it's because everyone's sobering up from the material high that we were all on before the economy tanked. The things that we used to whine about now seem trivial in the face of what is going on around the country.

Right now, those who still have it are just thankful to have a paycheck, and those that don't are just thankful to have their loved ones around them. I think it's sad, yet beautiful, to witness people realizing what really matters to them when all the glitters that blinded them before are gone. They become humbler, kinder and gentler in the face of uncertainty - more human. Most instinctively know that when everything else is gone, the only thing left are the relationships that they have built.

Thanksgiving is coming up, and I believe it is going to be a more poignant occasion now than it has ever been in the last several years. This year, more are going to be thankful for the truly valuable things in life - our family, friends, health, life, faith, hope and love. The feast may not be as plentiful but the moment will be more heartfelt.

Tomorrow, the world changes...

I'm excited...hopeful...optimistic, and judging from the mood all around, I'm not alone. Tomorrow is going to be a brand new day with as many possibilities as we are willing to explore. It is a great feeling to be a small part of this whole process and I am grateful for the chance to be here for this historic moment.

I'm also glad that all the election mudslinging and story-spinning will be over - definitely not my favorite part of any election. However, I will definitely miss Tina Fey playing Sarah Palin regularly on SNL, unless of course, she becomes VP-elect. Now some people won't find that too funny. Hahah!

Voice your choice!

Blackout and Baby Boom

Time and again, couples who have a lot of children have been poked and teased about not having a television during their child-bearing years. Well, I stumbled upon an amusing newspiece, among all the tiring political and other grim news here and around the world, that seems to enforce this thought.

We all know through experience that electricity, while a good thing, can be quite a distraction. A blackout forces us to spend time with the people around us because there is nothing else to do. I have fond memories of blackouts during my childhood - like playing with other kids in the neighborhood or swapping ghost stories with friends and family in the dark by candlelight. So whether it is engaging in great and memorable conversations or other more interesting activities, a blackout can be a good thing. :)

Winter blackout results in Dutch baby boom

By Saeed Ahmed,CNN

A small cluster of villages in eastern Netherlands has found itself in the midst of a mini-baby boom -- nine months after a power outage plunged its residents in darkness for two chilly days.

"It was cold in the houses," said Anneleas van Eijkeren, spokeswoman for the municipality of Maasdriel. "They went to bed early to keep warm. And nine months later, we have this -- a little bit more babies."

Forty-four percent more, to be exact. Residents gave birth to 26 babies in September, compared with 18 in September 2007.

Maasdriel is a collection of 11 villages with a population of 24,000. Ten of the 11 villages lost power for 50 hours in December after the blades of a helicopter accidentally sheared the cables providing electricity to the area.

"Some people went to other cities, but a lot of people stayed in their house with low temperature," Van Eijkeren said.

The community is battling a declining birth rate, like the rest of the Netherlands -- which ranks among the lowest in the world.

And while the power cut method worked well, Maasdriel doesn't plan on a deliberate repeat.

"Don't even joke," Van Eijkeren said, laughing. "In Holland, we would like to have more inhabitants -- but not in this way."

Courtesy Is No Longer Common

Why do I think that? Because it actually surprises and delights me now when children and young adults (and some older adults, too) actually know how to show courtesy and appreciation. The three basic phrases of politesse - "Please", "Thank you", "You're welcome" are words that you just do not hear as often as before, never mind its other, deeper manifestations.

Gratitude is a concept that is seemingly alien to this generation who thinks that every thing is owed to them by their relatives, friends and the world. I think all this fight for rights in the last few decades has gone to an extreme and done a number on the minds of many people, especially the young. Therefore, when others give of their time and themselves, they think it is just within their right to receive it with nary a thought of appreciation or worse, giving back. Miss Manners does not seem to have a whole lot of influence these days.

A person who takes for granted the good that is always done to them will miss out on a great deal in life. After all, who wants to hang around with someone who just takes and takes, be it time-wise, emotionally or financially? Yes, it can be a joy to give but it sure gets old when you're being bled dry.

Those three basic phrases are simple enough to utter - but it sure can go a long way if people learn how to use them.

This Old House

Redoing a 69-year old house can be very interesting. It definitely reveals to you a lot of how things were done in early 1900s and gives you a glimpse of the life of the former owners. In our case, there was only one owner before us. She was the builder of the house. According to our septuagenarian neighbors, she used to live in what is now the basement, which is mostly above ground because the house is situated on a hill. She started to build the house on her own, with some help I imagine, and continued until she got remarried not long after. So she and her new husband finished building it, had three kids who grew up and moved out, and stayed until they died. She passed away in her 90s in early 2006, a few years after her husband. That put the house on the market and we bought it in the latter part of the year, all spruced up in move-in condition with a minimal number of things to do.

M and I, are doing our remodeling slowly - one room at a time, as finances permit. This month, with the help of our dearest brother-in-law, we decided to winterize the porch into a four-season one before the cold weather came. We tore the room apart and brought it down to the skeletal structure. We replaced old aluminum crank/awning windows with custom-made, low-e, energy-efficient, slide windows which offer a clearer view of the city. We tore out the wall panels to put electricity in for a baseboard heater and ripped off the carpet to put porcelain tiles in. Under the carpet, we found at least two more linoleum sheets. One had a very distinct floral design - cute, but something you won't catch me putting in my house! It was not unlike the floral wallpaper that we found in the bathroom a year ago. Nice enough, but on other people's walls. Haha! Don't get me wrong, it's nice but I'm just not the floral type.

Under the linoleum, we found the hardwood floor lined with old newspapers. The dates ranged from April to June of 1962, so we assume that was the year they built the porch and they put in new flooring at least thrice since then. It was very interesting to see what the news was of that era, and the ads, especially. One was for a whole bedroom set for $89, offering monthly installments of a little over a dollar. The other was for a top-of-the-line console television for $280, offering monthly installments of $5. It was amazing, and almost unbelievable to see prices like those in this day and age where $89 can only buy you a decent pair of shoes!

Anyway, the work continues on the porch and will continue on probably until next weekend. Through the years we plan to tackle the other rooms. I wonder what other surprises we will find behind the walls and under the floors. Money? Jewelry? I wish. :)

Speak Chinese?

Hearing yet another news story that forced a mother to give up her baby girl under China's one-child policy, Hubby and I had the following conversation.

Me: We should adopt a Chinese baby.
Hubby: No. (Shakes his head.)
Me: Why not?
Hubby: We can't...we don't speak Chinese.
Me: (LOL)

Silly goose.

Everything Counts...

After Black Monday when the DOW dropped 500+ points and then again today for another 400+ points, this song came to mind again after a friend said that Depeche Mode's songs were socially relevent even today. Millions of people lost a huge chunk of their investments this week.

Giants like Lehman Bros. going under, Merrill Lynch being acquired by Bank of America, AIG being bailed out by the US government and the possible merger (MOE) of Morgan and Wachovia, it is a shake-up the financial world will not soon forget. This time, it's not a terrorism or a natural disaster to blame. We are now feeling the effects of the all around greediness that was rampant at the turn of this century.

What goes up must indeed come down.

The problem is, even those who didn't benefit from the inflated mortgage prices and unscrupulous lending practices of a few years back are going to feel the consequences as hard as those who did. We are in this hole because of people who "grabbed all they can" without a thought to long-term consequences.

Everything that we do does count and has a fruit or a consequence somewhere down the line.

Everything Counts by Depeche Mode

Remember these guys?

For no reason at all, this song popped into my head. I couldn't remember who sang it so I had to do an extensive search. It's from a band that was a one-hit wonder in the 80s. It didn't rank high in the US Billboard charts but was HUGE in Manila. There was a remake of this that you can find in Amazon, but nothing beats the original. Considering the days we live in, you'll actually find it quite relevant.

"State of the Nation" by Industry

This next song I saw this under the "related videos". From there, I went on an 80's roll. These are songs that I rarely hear on XM Satellite Radio's 80's decades station.

"Feels Like Heaven" by Fiction Factory


"Wishful Thinking" by China Crisis

I'll cap it off with one of my most favorite songs ever.

"The Ghost In You" by Psychedelic Furs

The little, pleasurable things in my life...

...these are the first 10 things to come to mind.

1. Sinking my teeth into a toasted onion bagel with crunchy onion bits on top, cream cheese and crispy bacon inside.

2. Watching a glorious sunset from my bedroom window and later seeing the moon cut its nocturnal path in the sky as I bid God and the world a good night.

3. Seeing my little pups happily yelp and jump to try and give me kisses as I walk through the door.

4. Driving during the early hours of the morning, not to work, but to a vacation destination and looking forward to days of vegging.

5. Walking into a squeaky clean house without having lifted a finger to do anything.

6. Being on a beach on a warm, breezy but sunny day, listening to the crash of the waves and the wailing of seagulls.

7. Having the pleasure of catching up with an old friend or relative whom I haven't seen in years.

8. Watching people I care about succeed in whatever they are doing and reach a milestone in their lives. Actually, they don't even have to succeed - just watching them try very hard with little fear already makes me proud.

9. Listening to people boldly tell the truth with no disrespect, reproach, or shame.

10. Going straight downhill on skis.

Method In His Madness (MBA for Hire)

His sign does not predict the end of the world or offer work for food. His sign says, "MBA for hire". He was standing across our building in the Boston Financial District with this sign and a backpack full of his portfolios. Some dismissed him as a nut but I approached him and asked for his resume. Instead, he gave me a portfolio with not only his resume, but reference letters from companies he's worked for, a one-pager personal statement and a really witty memo/cover letter. He has a job in a nearby state but wants to move to Boston and has taken every Friday off with the intention of standing in that corner until he gets a job. I showed the very well-prepared portfolio to one of our executives and she actually went in front of our building where he was standing and chatted with him for a few minutes. Once our pending job requisitions open up, she intends to call him in for a serious interview. A couple of hours later, one of our sales people approached me waving his resume, asking me to take a look at it. I informed him that I already did and have happily passed on his portfolio to our department heads that will be having jobs opening up soon. "If I had an opening, I would have hired him on the spot," he declared, and I agreed.

His resume shows a solid background and the rest of his portfolio showed a personality that anyone would love to have around. His standing there with a sign shows a willingness to do almost anything to get a job done. Who would not want that in an employee or a colleague?

I really admire the guy's self-esteem and fearlessness in looking for a job in this unconventional manner. He didn't want his resume to be in a pile somewhere waiting for someone to pick it up. He wanted to be different, to stand out and make an impression. And let me tell you, he did. Judging from the on-the-spot interviews he was getting every single hour he was standing there, he won't be there too many times more. He will be hired soon and whoever gets to hire him will be very fortunate.

Deceive to Achieve?

The media doctoring of the fireworks presentation of the Olympic opening which was actually shot on a another, clearer night in Beijing; a "cuter" little girl lipsynching "Ode to the Motherland" because the original singer, Yang Pei Yi, was deemed not "flawless in image, internal feelings, and expression" by the Chinese politburo; and to cap it off, the pre-pubescent looking female gymnasts that they all claim are the minimum age requirement of 16 when previous records in competitions in and outside China show otherwise. All are under 4'11" and 79 lbs - one of them 4'6" and 68 lbs.! I was a little shrimp at 16 but I was still bigger than that. These are a few incidents that have arisen and marred the 2008 Olympic Games in the eyes of many.

What other surprises await the world in Beijing? How many more will be uncovered and how many will forever remain hidden? Do you believe that the Chinese Olympic committee members are willing to deceive in order to achieve? Coming from a country where most of the world's fake/imitation apparel and accessory goods come from, you can guess where my inclination lies. Er...was that a pun? Never mind...

Oh, and Yang Pei Yi IS cute and adorable. I'm sure a lot will agree.

The Big Oh for Audie

My good friend and brother Audie Gemora is celebrating a milestone birthday today, at least in Philippine time - not quite yet here in the US but I couldn't wait to send his greetings.

I wanted to take the time to thank him for all that he's been to me - mentor, acting coach, director, choreographer, fellow castmember, churchmate, cheerer, sounding board, eating and movie buddy, true friend and big brother. Audie (along with Ninong Freddie Santos) was very instrumental in helping me develop as an artist and as a person by being a big brother from the time I was seventeen. He is one of those I can trust to gently tell the truth no matter how it hurts because he truly cares. Audie and I even shared a house, albeit at different durations. He moved into my place from Greenhills when I decided to move to Makati.

Auds, thank you for being there for me when times were light and, especialy when they were dark. I haven't seen you in years but know that you will always be one of the dearest persons in my life. I hope you have a beautiful and memorable birthday. May your cup runneth over as you mark this golden milestone. Love you, my brother.

I'm a wuss...

A few years back when we were thinking of buying a house, I was wishing for at least 1/4 of an acre of land. Instead, we found a house that we really liked, in an area that we loved, but on a land that's only a tenth of that. It isn't big at all but today and every single day we do yard work, I thank God for knowing better and not granting me my wish. Horticulture is not a talent that God has granted me nor do I have much love for it, so it was extremely convenient that the lawn and backyard were already professionally landscaped and all we have to do is maintenance. Easy, right? Er...not so much.

Last week, after spending time under the sun pruning some plants and trees in the backyard, I started to feel nauseated. Being not the type at all to get dizzy, faint or throw up, I spoke to a friend who was a nurse practitioner. She said that I was having the symptoms of sun-poisoning which could lead to a sunstroke. WHAT?! I'm Asian, I grew up in the sunny island of the Philippines and I have sun-poisoning? I guess I've been living too long in New England. She told me to have an icy bath, and drink lots of water with ice throughout the day. I've turned into a wuss.

Today it was forecasted to be cloudy and rainy, so it was quite safe for me to do some more yardwork. So after the rain, I continued some of the work that was left off from last week. I did some crab grass and weed-pulling for a couple of hours just on the front lawn. I figured it would be easier to pull and uproot because the soil would be soft. Boy, did I underestimate how easy this work would be. My fingers are raw despite the soil and wearing gardening gloves. I can barely type without my fingers aching at the touch of the keyboard. I know, I'm a wimp.

I look at my fingertips and and they're all pink and raw - definitely no hint of green there, whatsoever. Maybe I should leave this to the experts...